"G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" Talkback (Spoilers)

[The Penguin]

When All Else Fails, They Don't

"Technically, we don't exist. We answer to no one. And when all else fails, we don't." - General Hawk

Release Date: August 7, 2009
Studio: Paramount Pictures
Director: Stephen Sommers
Starring: Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Christopher Eccleston, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Byung Hun Lee, Sienna Miller, Rachel Nichols, Ray Park, Said Taghmaoui, Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Dennis Quaid

Plot Summary: Paramount Pictures and Hasbro, whose previous collaboration was the worldwide blockbuster "Transformers," join forces with Spyglass Entertainment for another extraordinary action-adventure "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra." From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos. "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra." is directed by Stephen Sommers ("The Mummy," "The Mummy Returns").

Visit the official movie site here.

Comments?

They'll fight for freedom wherever there's trouble and G.I. Joe is now here!

[Daxdiv]

Just got back from seeing the midnight show of it, I thought it was fantastic, a lot better than Revenge of the Fallen if you ask me. I thought the plot was better, the character were more likable, practically a good chunk of the cast got a back story to them that was elaborated in the plot, be it from flashbacks or a few lines of dialogue, like Scarlet. Personally, I did like Duke and Snake Eyes stories, along with Cobra and Storm Shadows. The action you can actually see, and was pretty enjoyable. Hell, I even loved the suits for them, I thought they were going to screw that scene up, but they didn't, or at least, not for me. During the whole film, I said a lot of "Oh Snap" to certain plot points.

Unfortunately the crowd wasn't as packed, since they were still selling tickets around 11:45 for it, which was when my brother and I went in to get our seats, wasn't was packed, and we were able to get prime seating. Didn't get as crowded until the previews started, but the theater was still packed. Even though the reaction to it was less than when I went to ROTF, I think they had the same audience attendance, People went wild at the end, but there were only a few claps and cheers at the end of this flick, which kind of saddened me.

[Old Guy]

the crowd wasn't as packed, since they were still selling tickets around 11:45 for it

the reaction to it was less than when I went to ROTF

there were only a few claps and cheers at the end of this flick, which kind of saddened me.

In other words, Twitter is gonna kill this movie before Sunrise.

[Michael24]

Yeah, because Twitter means everything. Besides, the crowd wasn't packed because it was a midnight showing. Not everybody goes at midnight for these things. I drove by my theater one time to see the lines for a midnight showing of something, and it was a small crowd waiting outside. Heck, I love G.I. Joe and even I'm not seeing it at midnight. I have to wait until Saturday to see it. So far, from what I've been hearing from those you have already seen it, it's more G.I. Joe that naysayers were touting from months. Can't wait!

[Old Guy]

Yeah, because Twitter means everything.

According to people, that's what killed Bruno.

Besides, the crowd wasn't packed because it was a midnight showing. Not everybody goes at midnight for these things.

If you can't pack a house in New York then you know you're in trouble.

So far, from what I've been hearing from those that have already seen it, it's more G.I. Joe that naysayers were touting from months.

The word of mouth I'm hearing is that it's okay, not as bad as people were expecting. So, maybe the studio should have taken a chance and screened it for critics. People don't seem to hate it.

[MonkeyFunk]

Hmm, dropped to 51% at RT.

[Old Guy]

Hmm, dropped to 51% at RT.

It ain't bad till it drops below 50.

[Shawn Hopkins]

Now it's 41 percent. That was a precipitous drop.

And it's only hanging on to that because of toploaded early positive reviews. The newer reviews tend to run more like this one, from Robbie Collin of the Sun. I don't speak British, but I can make out enough of this to tell that he thinks it's bad:

G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobblers, as it must now be known, is a 118-minute war crime that does for the army what Steve Martin's Inspector Clouseau did for the French police force - except with more fake-looking explosions.

Lots of reviewers also seem to be pointing out similarities to Team America: World Police, including the fact that both have an attack on the Eiffel Tower and that both have ridiculous dialogue and montage scenes. It might be funny to see it cut together with Team America songs, like the montage song for the montage scenes.

Also, that it's a movie made by people that don't know that ice floats.

[Juu-kuchi]

Lots of reviewers also seem to be pointing out similarities to Team America: World Police, including the fact that both have an attack on the Eiffel Tower and that both have ridiculous dialogue and montage scenes. It might be funny to see it cut together with Team America songs, like the montage song for the montage scenes.

If that's the case I can't wait until it comes out on DVD so some guy can splice its footage with Team America audio.

[Shawn Hopkins]

You know, I'm almost happy they keep making this kind of movie, because at least it leads to such funny reviews. Rotten Tomatoes is comedy gold this morning, and it's mostly British and Australian stuff at this point so there's a lot of dry wit on display. And words I don't understand, but that makes it funnier. They're really capping on the main villain's Scottish accent, too. Apparently he's so cartoony he actually says "You've thrown the caber clear out of the yard" at one point, a line that would probably make Groundskeeper Willie say, "Hey, that's a little stereotypical."

I think I'm going to see this. I skipped ROTF because, well, I didn't think I could take the headache it would give me, but I might be able to stand this one.

[email2003]

Damn, I got to wait till tomorrow to see this movie.

[Ed Liu]

According to people, that's what killed Bruno.

Just you wait...it's going to come out that Paramount was behind the ongoing Twitter outage as part of G.I. Joe's marketing campaign for just this reason. I figure it's either that or Cobra funded the G.I. Joe movie to make them look stupid and is now launching a pre-emptive strike before people find out that they're as bad at moviemaking as they are at taking over the world. IT'S ALL A PLOT BY COBRA COMMANDER, I TELL YA!!!!!



Besides, according to what "people"? This is Hollywood. If you drink the Kool-Aid, Hollywood is a place where nobody ever makes a bad movie, and if a movie doesn't do well, it's always the audiences' fault somehow. Always. The idea that Bruno just looked like a really bad movie that's the exact same joke as Borat except with a gay guy? Nah. Had to be the Twitter.

I also have to admit that I'm more interested in seeing the reactions to this movie than I am in seeing the movie itself.

[Shawn Hopkins]

To the surprise of absolutely no one Paramount's selective screening stunt has added an extra layer of derision and venom to the reviews. Here's how Peter Howell with the Toronto Star reacted in his brutal, scathing review titled "GI Joe:Two Hours Wasted":

No wonder Paramount Pictures refused to show the film to serious critics, limiting advance screenings to drooling fanboys who would agreeably drive up the Rotten Tomatoes score in exchange for access and a bucket of popcorn.

http://www.thestar.com/entertainment...article/677635

[TheVileOne]

Tell me something though Shawn Hopkins, is that an untrue statement? Because I mean, that was Paramount's basic strategy.

[Shawn Hopkins]

Tell me something though Shawn Hopkins, is that an untrue statement? Because I mean, that was Paramount's basic strategy.

That's what I've been saying in the other thread until I'm sure people are sick of it, that they bet their handpicked reviewers would give them a good buzz to carry them through the first weekend. The early toploaded positive reviews are the only reason the Tomatometer hasn't went completely in the toilet, yet. Some PR guys are getting fat bonuses out of this.

[TheVileOne]

I think it will depend on the opening weekend #.

I mean, if Paramount turns this lemon into a lemonade from the publicity department alone as it seems they might have, then hats off, they deserve the money.

[MonkeyFunk]

To the surprise of absolutely no one Paramount's selective screening stunt has added an extra layer of derision and venom to the reviews. Here's how Peter Howell with the Toronto Star reacted in his brutal, scathing review titled "GI Joe:Two Hours Wasted":

No wonder Paramount Pictures refused to show the film to serious critics, limiting advance screenings to drooling fanboys who would agreeably drive up the Rotten Tomatoes score in exchange for access and a bucket of popcorn.

http://www.thestar.com/entertainment...article/677635

Oh, God, some of the comments on that thing:

Simply put- you were way wrong Mr. Howell. Put your dolls away and check out some G.I Joe's yourself.

Meee-oww!

[Old Guy]

I think it will depend on the opening weekend #.

Speaking of numbers, anyone surprised that it's almost 3pm on the East Coast and Paramount has yet to release the midnight screening numbers? Usually these numbers, especially for the big movie opening, are released no later than Noon. Yet it's almost 3pm and we have nothing. It's as if Paramount is doing everything in its power to avoid any negativity being released this weekend. Which makes sense since this weekend is all that matters for this movie. District 9 comes out next weekend, so G.I. Joe only has this weekend and the remainder of the week to do whatever business it's gonna do.

[Daxdiv]

If you can't pack a house in New York then you know you're in trouble.

Are you implying I live in the city? I live in a suburb that's 30-40 minutes away from the city, and the theater I went to was 10 minutes away from my house, so I didn't go into the city to see it, if that's what that line is implying. Also the theater they were screening it in was the biggest one the local AMC had. It has 600 seats, and it's the one they use for all midnight premieres. Sure it was kind of odd that it wasn't as packed from when I went to see Simpsons and Dark Knight a couple years ago, since the only empty rows I saw were the front rows, or as I like to call them, neck breakers since you have to look up to see the whole show, but it was still packed show, just not as packed as compared to other shows I went to, where they were sold out.

[Tobias]

Just got back from it, and I freakin' loved it.

Cosmetic changes aside, this WAS G.I. Joe, and it was a HELL of a lot better than Bay's Transformers. You could actually make sense of the action scenes, and there were never any moments of boredom.

The accelerator suits were only really used in one scene, and only Duke and Ripcord used them at all. The movie only focused on a small handful of Joes, but I think if there is (hopefully) a sequel we'll get Shipwreck, Flint, Lady Jaye, and the rest.

Cobra Commander was the only weak part of the movie. The mask wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be, but once the big reveal was made, I was kind of disappointed. But I can put 2 and 2 together judging by that final scene of how CC and Destro will escape their current predicament in the next film.

The twists were nicely handled, though. There's a reason why there's no Duke/Scarlett romance, and the Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow stuff was well handled.

I don't care what anyone says, this movie was well worth the wait, and I'll take Joe over Transformers anyday of the week.