Phantom Menace Bum Review

[Ishtar]

OMG THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. THERE'S THESE GUYS....CALLED JEDIS....AND THEY LIKE FIGHT WITH LIGHTSWARDZES! THEY FIGHT THESE LITTLE DROID THINGIES, SMASHING THEM INTO ITY BITY PIECES. THEN THEY RUN INTO THIS GUY, CALLED JAR JAR BINKS! HE'S A FISHY HUMAN LIKE CREATURE BUT HE TALKS LIKE A JAMAICAN? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!? THEN THEY MEET THIS PRINCESS, WHO LOOKS LIKE SOME CHINESE DOLL. THEY RESCUE HER! THEN THEY GO TO THIS DESERTY PLANET, AND THEY MEET THE BOY WHO GROWS UP TO BE DARTHA VADERA! BUT....HE'S SO LITTLE AND CUTE! HOW CAN HE GROW UP TO BE SUCH A CRUEL MEAN GUY? I DON'T KNOW! THEN THERE'S THIS PODRACE. VRRRRRRRROM VRRRRRRRRRRRROM. REMIND ME OF SPEEEEED RACER! GO SPEED RACER! GO SPEED RACER! HE'S A DEEEEEMON ON WHEEEEEEEEELS! AFTER THAT, HE JOINS THE JEDIS AND....AND.....CAN'T REMEMBER SOME OTHER STUFFS, BUT OH, AND THE TWO JEDIS FIGHT THE DEVIL! AT LEAST HE LOOKS LIKE THE DEVIL! HE'S RED AND HAS HORNS, WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK!? ONE OF THE JEDIS GETS STABBABED AND DIES. I SHED A TEAR. BUT WAIT, THEN THE OTHER JEDI CUTS THE DEVIL IN HALF! THEN EVERYONE HAS A BIG CELABRATION! WHAT A HAPPY ENDING! THIS IS CHESTER A. BUM SAYING...






OH COME ON, HELP A GUY A LITTLE, COME ON CHANGE! AT LEAST GET ME A LIGHTSWARDZ THINGY!

[Peter Paltridge]

I don't believe your clever little fib is fooling anyone, darling child. The reason being, this is April 1, 1999, and the movie does not see release until May 14.

Also, who is this bum? Did you rip this character off from that teenager with the beard I saw waiting in line for Episode One? He could also do two other people, but they were more similar to himself.

[Ishtar]

I don't believe your clever little fib is fooling anyone, darling child. The reason being, this is April 1, 1999, and the movie does not see release until May 14.

Also, who is this bum? Did you rip this character off from that teenager with the beard I saw waiting in line for Episode One? He could also do two other people, but they were more similar to himself.

[Peter Paltridge]

Ah, okay. Thanks for clearing that up.

[Desensitized]

This topic is offensive to me and my lifestyle.

Can a mod please lock this?