BURBANK, CA - Citing a groundswell of praise for such stereotype-bucking princess films as Frozen, Brave, and Tangled, Walt Disney Company CEO Bob Iger said Thursday his company has probably accumulated enough goodwill to make its next animated feature a real sexist one.
Though still unsure whether the forthcoming fairy-tale adventure would center on a helpless Dutch peasant who splits her time between domestic duties and pining for a rich man, a vain young princess who constantly preens in front of any reflective surface, or a curvaceous, long-lashed horse who inexplicably has rouged cheeks and eyeshadow, top Disney officials agreed they are well positioned to sneak in an overly chauvinistic film that exploits antiquated female stereotypes for all they’re worth.
“We’ve had a pretty solid run of strong, independent heroines, so I think we’ve racked up enough cred to get back to what we do best and make a regular old damsel-in-distress picture with some real heavy themes about purity,” said Iger, surmising that after the studio’s recent streak of well-rounded female protagonists, audiences would surely let a “real dumb one” slide. “At this point, I think we’ll be fine if we slip in a movie with some blond girl who always combs her hair, sings sad songs about the man she’s longing for, and otherwise doesn’t say much. Or maybe she’s a foolish, overly emotional robin who is constantly patted on the head and kept in line by her knowing father.”
“Either way, she’ll only be able to titter coyly, weep, or fret,” Iger continued. “And she’ll definitely completely alter who she is to win the heart of her love interest. I’d say we can probably get away with that.”
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