Cartoon Cartoon Friday (Jun 15)

[DR. BELCH]

Well, if it's possible, this week's episode of Time Squad disappointed me even more than last week's. The first short,"Napoleon the Conquered", was too historically inaccurate for my tastes. Napoleon divorced Josephine (who I'm sure wasn't the nagging shrew seen here) for political reasons some time before Waterloo (though he loved her until he died)...and I'm not sure, but I believe she may have passed away by then. She died of pneumonia as a result of wearing damp dresses to enhance her figure. Napoleon is forced to fight his battles at night while his wife is asleep or away at community college...until she realizes that she has skills as a fighter. Also, I'm pretty sure Nappy didn't have so many children. The only thing that amused me was his mangled dialogue--a ref to Marlon Brando, who played the little general in film.
The second short was even worse; in "Confucius Say...Way Too Much!", the ancient Chinese philosopher has a habit of writing lengthy, overly pedantic books that the public refuses to buy. For some reason each time the Time Squad intervenes, they get longer and longer...but eventually (after getting the moo goo gai pan beaten out of him by the burly guy) he cuts them down to messages on...T-shirts? Of course the writers miss a very obvious joke--Chinese fortune cookies! Next week is the Sigmund Freud ep...but I have a feeling I'm going to get another letdown.

Also a new premiere short about a cowboy and a horse (who looks a little like Gumby's pal Pokey). The cowboy owns Central Park, thanks to a shrewd investment by his grandpappy, and is very protective of his boots. Complaining that the hard city pavement blisters his feet, he decides to ride the horse everywhere--which causes the beast discomfort and cuts into his social life. So he schemes to dispose of them. Though I don't see why the horse didn't just sneak out and go hooting with his filly while his master slept. It seems the blister were caused by the voluminous amount of clutter in his footwear--my favorite was a nursing calf!

Some real dodgy stuff tonight. First at six they aired "Sun, Surf, and Science", which is the Dexter's Lab short with the most yaoi moment you'll see on CN outside of Toonami. Then on Ed, Edd, and Eddy, there was a scene in which Ed tries to pick the pockets of all the kids on the cul-de-sac with a large magnet in a tree. As Kevin passes under the tree, a very large bulge appears suggestively in the front of his shorts......and a wrench pops out of his pocket. Also, listen carefully during the Eds' show, and you'll hear Kev shout, "Go, Nazz!"

[Sharklady]

> (Napoleon) divorced Josephine... for political reasons some time before Waterloo (though he loved her until he died)...and I'm not sure, but I believe she may have passed away by then. <

You're correct. Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo was in 1815; Josephine died in 1814 (and upon hearing of it, Napoleon locked himself into a room and didn't emerge for three days.)

And while I've never heard that Josephine described as a 'nagging shrew', she did have a solid reputation for infidelity. Napoleon was surprisingly tolerant of this, probably at first because he was so deeply in love with her, and later because he didn't exactly have an unblemished record himself.

[The Mad Hatter]

Well Belch, if historical accuracy is what you're looking for in Time Squad, then I think you'll always be dissapointed. The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette did an article on the creator (he grew up in Arkansas), and he said that he doesn't mean it to be accurate in the least. I don't mind too much, though I'd have to agree that these two episodes weren't as funny as the last couple.

Although he did get one thing right... Asians had nothing to do with fortune cookies. They were invented in America by white folks.

[Sharklady]

> Although he did get one thing right... Asians had nothing to do with fortune cookies. They were invented in America by white folks. <

But isn't that also the case with tee shirts?