Ppg Bloopers

[Sharklady]

I visited the PPG World website recently (at http://www.ppgworld.com ), and noticed they're following the good ol' Pixar tradition by including a collection of PPG 'Bloopers'. This included an open invitation for fans to write and submit their own 'Outtakes' from the show, so I dashed off a couple. I haven't yet heard whether my submissions were accepted or not, but thought some of the folks here might possibly enjoy them. And if this inspires people to write their own, so much the better!

So, for your consideration:

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SCENE: MOJO and the CLERK in the Grocery Aisle, from ‘Just Another Manic Mojo’


TAKE ONE:

MOJO: (addressing the slightly apprehensive CLERK) Excuse me, sir! But can you *please* direct me to the location of where I may locate some eggs, for I am willing to purchase them, so they can travel home with me and I can eat them today. And maybe tomorrow.

(Long Pause. The CLERK looks bewildered; MOJO frowns.)

DIRECTOR’S VOICE: Cut! You miss your cue, George?

CLERK: Sorry. (MOJO looks sour)


TAKE TWO:

MOJO: ... and maybe tomorrow.

CLERK: Aisle Four.

(MOJO slaps his forehead in exasperation.)

DIRECTOR: CUT!!

CLERK: Huh? But I...

DIRECTOR: Aisle *Three*, George!

MOJO: (with rising annoyance) Because the entire point to this scene is that I am asking directions to a location where I already am, which the audience may deduce from the sign overhead which says ‘Aisle Three’, but if you tell me that the eggs may be found in ‘Aisle Four’ then you are directing me to a location some distance from here, and can you explain to me how there is anything humorous about that??!! (The CLERK looks abashed.)

DIRECTOR: Just calm down, M.J. ! An’ let’s take it from the top...


TAKE THREE:

MOJO: ... and maybe tomorrow.

CLERK: Aisle thripy. I mean ... oh, (bleep)!

(MOJO appears ready to strangle him)

DIRECTOR: (tired) Cut. Set it up again, people...


TAKE FOUR:

MOJO: ... and maybe tomorrow.

CLERK: (right on cue) Aisle three.

(A hint of ‘It’s About Time!’ shows in MOJO’s expression, as he glances up, scowling, at the sign, then turns towards the egg display. But he’s standing a bit too close, and his nose bumps the shelf edge.)

MOJO: OW!

(As MOJO clutches his snout, there’s scattered laughter from the crew. MOJO glares sideways at the CLERK, as if *daring* him to join in. Exactly according to the script, the CLERK turns to insert a box on the shelf, smiling.)

[Sharklady]

An' here's another one:

_______________________

SCENE: MOJO in the Dentist’s Office, from ‘Moral Decay’


TAKE ONE:

MOJO: (indignant; his mouth even more swollen than it was in the ep) Wo wew we- Wuttwawup? Wa weah woo er...

DIRECTOR’S VOICE: *Cut.* Mojo, we can’t understand a word you’re saying.

MOJO: (looking irritably to his left) Wi wa wuna wa...

(An arm in a tie-dyed sleeve appears from MOJO’s right, offering him a large plastic cup. MOJO holds the cup to his mouth and spits- sound of several dozen glass marbles landing inside.)

MOJO: (face back to normal) I was under the impression that was the point!

DIRECTOR: You’re supposed to be ninety percent unintelligible, not a hundred percent! Charlie, try using half that number of marbles.

(CHARLIE, a surfer-type in a tie-dyed shirt, kneels into view, a large jar of multi-colored marbles in hand.)

CHARLIE: (reaching into the jar with a gloved hand) Okay dude; just say ‘Ahhh’....

(Looking sourly resigned, MOJO opens wide. CHARLIE starts arranging marbles inside his mouth.)


TAKE TWO:

MOJO: (mouth now somewhat less swollen than in the ep) Don’t tell meh- Buttercup? I’ll bet you were juss sitting aht home, minding your own...

DIRECTOR: Cut! Now you aren’t garbled enough!

MOJO: (impatient) Well, wha do you want??

DIRECTOR: Charlie, let’s do it this way...


TAKE THREE:

(CHARLIE is beside MOJO again, inserting marbles in his mouth two at a time.)

MOJO: Don’t tell meh... (two more marbles are added) Doan tell meh... (two more) Doan teh meh...

DIRECTOR: Alright- that sounds good. Set up for Take Three, people! (CHARLIE steps out of view; somebody else’s hand claps the board) Action!

(MOJO opens his mouth to speak, but suddenly looks alarmed, as the sound of a heavy gulp is heard.)

DIRECTOR: CUT! What’s the matter?!

CHARLIE: (kneeling back into view) You just swallow a marble, dude?

(Clutching his throat, MOJO nods frantically)

CHARLIE: (soothingly) Hey, don’t worry about it. (reaching into his jar) I got *plenty* more!

(MOJO gives CHARLIE a stare of disbelief, which promptly changes to rage. Focusing on CHARLIE’S face, he inhales deeply.)

(A wide red ‘CENSORED’ banner covers the screen. Sound of a violent expulsion, CHARLIE’S startled cry, & dozens of marbles striking surfaces and then rolling around on the floor.)

MOJO’S VOICE: Now, you have even *more* of them, “dude” !

DIRECTOR’S VOICE: (sigh) Amy, call the special cleaning team in here. Everybody else; let’s break for lunch. Better make it a long one...

[livingfruitvirus]

Hi.

It's me omniweapon (from PPGWorld). We'll put up the bloopers when we receive enough submissions. So far we only have 2.

[Sharklady]

Really!

Then I'll try to come up with a third one.