My Mother Taught Me...

[Anime_girl]

My Mother Taught Me...




TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to fight with each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

The science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

How to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you

Freind send this to me from fun.com

[TimTwoFace]

Originally posted by Anime_girl

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

And that's the scariest one of all. *SHUDDERS IN FEAR*

*AND ELTON JOHN SONGS START TO PLAY IN THE BACKGROUND*



-Tim

[Barb Gordon]

lmao, that's great. Seems like something I'd get in an email. So amusing because I know my mom has probably said the majority of those things to my sis and I at some point on our lives. Mom's are so cool.

~Barb

[cross blues]

That takes me back... I've heard all of those except the clean underwear one, that's just weird.

[EightOh]

My mother taught me that alligators are ornery 'cause they got all them teeth but no toothbrush...

[Rune]

Heheheh, I think my mother used every single one of those on me throughout childhood.

The underwear one was a favourite of my grandmother's too, along with the strange logic that sitting on peoples garden walls gave you haemorrhoids personally that was enough to prevent me even wanting to put her to the test.

[jeffrey 228]

My mother taught me to not give any money to friends who will cheat you later on.

As that is what happened yesterday.

[James]

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

Lol! I love that one.. if only mum was as good at puns as that... that's a nasty one!

[StarScream64]

Yeah, I've had the majority of those sayings thrown at me at one time or another. Mom's favorite was the clean underwear one.

[Damien]

Yeah, I was in an accident once on the way home. My mom had planned on teaching me about foresight that night...

[ProdigyCube]

That was increadibly cheezy!

But it had a certain charm to it.

~Prod

[Pilmedium]

Those situations are funny. The hidden meanings of things mothers can say seriously are amusing.

[Danielle]

Those are hilarious!! I love the osmosis one.

My mother taught me ventriloquism. She used the same voice for our cat, our cousins' dog, our neighbor's baby, and occasionally my father.

[Opaque]

funny funny funny... I've heard many of those in my time...

[turbomog007]

wow that sounds just like my mom

[Legolas's_Woman]

yeah --- thats sounds like my mom, too. she would always tell me to go to my room or i'll give you something to cry about.

ahhhhhhhh the memories----

[RogueMartian]

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

That's a Bill Cosby quote. He says "I brought you into this world, I can take you out, and it won't matter, cause I can make another one just like you"

Its in my book of favorites.