At that time Pepsi was my life blood, and I tried Crystal Pepsi and it tasted like poison to me. I thought I was going to barf.
Another really bad one was the Raspberry flavored Pepsi. It tasted like they made it raspberry flavored by pouring raspberry flavored suntan oil in it.
Oh, wait, kids are reading this. Kids, before we knew the sun would kill us, we actually went out in the sun and tried to get tans. We would accelerate this process with special oils meant to bake you to a crispy brown. Not exactly the opposite of sunscreen because they helped protect against sunburn, too, but causing what we now call sun damage to your skin was the goal.
And they sold it with images like this, and sorta racist slogans like "Don't be a paleface!"
In our next lesson I will explain Jarts.
Here's the deal, I'm the best there is. I wake up in the morning and I urinate excellence. And nobody can hang with my stuff. I'm just a big hairy American winning machine.
I'm very humble, too.