A thought on the Internet

**Ben** · 10-19-2005, 12:12 PM

It's a crappy way to communicate. It may help you get to know people who share your interests no matter how narrow, but it sucks for extended friendships. Human beings weren't meant to identify periodic little lit-up specks of text as other human beings. Habitual physical presence and the little cues it lets you pick up reduces anxiety and makes for natural day-to-day contact. Going without those cues, even without a voice, is a hell of a lot of effort. There are many times when I wish I could just sit around in a real room with my friends here, if just for sixty seconds a day. It would reduce my stress level unimaginably.

End self-indulgent navel-gazing.

**Artimus Gigan** · 10-19-2005, 01:05 PM

On a related subject, what the hell is up with Text Messaging

Seriously when lomng distance communications began with the telegraph, people typed out a code that was supposed to compiled into words

now people type in a code for words on telephone whcih has the feature for people to actual use their voice and talk

**Classic Speedy** · 10-19-2005, 01:21 PM

Well it sure ain't the same as back-and-forth talking. Rarely in real life do you sit idly while someone speaks ten sentences in a row, unless your friend happens to be Kathy Griffin.

Also, there's the whole issue of if someone doesn't respond to a comment or e-mail you make. Are they stalling because they don't know how to respond? Are they being roud and purposefully being disrespectful by keeping you waiting? Or do they read something and take it to heart, but don't feel the need to reply? It's never 100% known for sure in any situation.

**Artimus Gigan** · 10-19-2005, 01:29 PM

Also sarcasm doesn't transfer well on the internet

**Captain Harlock** · 10-19-2005, 02:07 PM

The internet works for me, since most of the people I talk to I know in real life. You can definately get a sense of who they are in their mannerisms because it shows in how they talk online. Also, with some of the internet people that I know - we've had voice chat sessions on many occasions, so that helps you get to know them and their "humanity" alot better.

**ZephyrSamba** · 10-19-2005, 04:55 PM

Of course it's not the same as face-to-face interaction, and sure, there are drawbacks ("difficulty in coneying sarcasm" being tops on that list imo!) - but I think there are a lot of positive aspects to internet communication, too ... Me, I'm shy and all-around god-awful at chit-chatting until I -really- feel comfortable with someone - lord do I babble, and blush, and stammer, and fall all over my words, it's pathetic! But online I have time to think through what I'm going to say, be it in email or even the more immediate IM programmes, and personally I think I communicate better that way - the act of writing rather than speaking serves as a "filter" to weed out some of the awkward and distracting elements in my case and probably in a lot of other folks' cases, too. I may still babble online, but at least it's babbling by -choice-, dagnabit! =)

**Fone Bone** · 10-19-2005, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by Speedy Boris

Well it sure ain't the same as back-and-forth talking. Rarely in real life do you sit idly while someone speaks ten sentences in a row, unless your friend happens to be Kathy Griffin.

Also, there's the whole issue of if someone doesn't respond to a comment or e-mail you make. Are they stalling because they don't know how to respond? Are they being roud and purposefully being disrespectful by keeping you waiting? Or do they read something and take it to heart, but don't feel the need to reply? It's never 100% known for sure in any situation.

I always get paranoid if someone doesn't respond to me right away. I'm waiting for the days of video phones where we could actually communicate verbally and visually over the internet with the folks here. But I think that day is far off and if it isn't internet services would figure out a way to charge us an arm and a leg for it.

**Kury Wagner** · 10-19-2005, 05:09 PM

I agree with everything ZephyrSamba said. I am so awkward when it comes to actual interaction. Even with family or close friends. I stutter and babble all the time. It's very annoying. While I'm not very much better at talking on the internet, there is a bit more ease.

I see nothing wrong with friendships via the internet. So you can't do things that involve physical contact; well that's fine with me because I'm not a touchy person anyway. =P The whole "text on a screen does not equate friendship" comment that always comes up bothers the heck out of me. There are real people putting that text on your screen, it's not your imagination.

**Squall** · 10-19-2005, 05:17 PM

I love the Internet. I don't know what I'd do without it!

If it weren't for the Internet, I wouldn't have the DVD collection I have now, with some hard-to-find DVDs that I could only order online. I would never have finished my Transformers, NES, or Super NES collections to my satisfaction, or found message boards and websites for everything I've ever been interested in -- from action cartoons to the unexplained (ghosts, etc.) to 80's humor to like-minded people who love the same TV shows and movies I do. I even own CDs of a lot of music (video game soundtracks, for example) and rare posters that I'd never have found on store shelves in a regular retail store.

The Internet helps me keep in touch with my friends and family in different cities with ease, through e-mail and instant messenging. The importance of this was even more prounced when I had to spend a couple of years living in a small town due to my job. The Internet saved my sanity at that time!

Also, as an information & statistics junkie, the Internet is heaven on Earth for me. I love being able to research literally anything on the Internet, from math and science to sports history and a literary interpretation of Batman and Joker's relationship. You name it, it's on the Internet, somewhere! (Just try doing Google searches for random things that pop into your mind. You'll be surprised, trust me!)

Of course, the Internet was never meant to replace getting together with people in person, any more than TV was meant to replace reading*, or the car meant to replace walking. It supplements your social life if used correctly, not takes away from it.

*I read a study last year that said that students' reading, writing, and analysis skills improved if they used the Internet on a regular basis...

**g_UnIt_GaNsTa** · 10-19-2005, 08:12 PM

**Mr. Pedro** · 10-19-2005, 08:48 PM

As nice as it is to chat with people who share your interests within the safety of your monitor, there really is no substitute for interacting with real flesh and blood.

Yes. Sweet, succulent flesh and blood.

**Kurtman** · 10-19-2005, 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by Ben

It's a crappy way to communicate. It may help you get to know people who share your interests no matter how narrow, but it sucks for extended friendships. Human beings weren't meant to identify periodic little lit-up specks of text as other human beings. Habitual physical presence and the little cues it lets you pick up reduces anxiety and makes for natural day-to-day contact. Going without those cues, even without a voice, is a hell of a lot of effort. There are many times when I wish I could just sit around in a real room with my friends here, if just for sixty seconds a day. It would reduce my stress level unimaginably.

End self-indulgent navel-gazing.

Woah,man. This is WAY different for me. Because of my Asperger's,I get really anxious when around people physically. The internet makes my feelings of anxiousness numb away.

**RD!** · 10-19-2005, 09:58 PM

Originally Posted by Ben

It's a crappy way to communicate. It may help you get to know people who share your interests no matter how narrow, but it sucks for extended friendships. Human beings weren't meant to identify periodic little lit-up specks of text as other human beings. Habitual physical presence and the little cues it lets you pick up reduces anxiety and makes for natural day-to-day contact. Going without those cues, even without a voice, is a hell of a lot of effort. There are many times when I wish I could just sit around in a real room with my friends here, if just for sixty seconds a day. It would reduce my stress level unimaginably.

I don't know, maybe I'm just a hardcore internet loser, but I've met quite a few internet friends that were more than "Yeah I like this band, you too? Cool! Yellow is a cool color!" I've held on to a few of these friends for years (like, four)--met two of them. I consider those to be about as extended relationship as any relationship I have now with friends in real life.

Thus. Embrace the internet.

**mikestorm** · 10-19-2005, 10:03 PM

Ahh but think about the things you can't do in real life interactions. I'd love to wrap spoiler tags around half the stuff I say...

**Kurtman** · 10-19-2005, 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by ZephyrSamba

Of course it's not the same as face-to-face interaction, and sure, there are drawbacks ("difficulty in coneying sarcasm" being tops on that list imo!) - but I think there are a lot of positive aspects to internet communication, too ... Me, I'm shy and all-around god-awful at chit-chatting until I -really- feel comfortable with someone - lord do I babble, and blush, and stammer, and fall all over my words, it's pathetic! But online I have time to think through what I'm going to say, be it in email or even the more immediate IM programmes, and personally I think I communicate better that way - the act of writing rather than speaking serves as a "filter" to weed out some of the awkward and distracting elements in my case and probably in a lot of other folks' cases, too. I may still babble online, but at least it's babbling by -choice-, dagnabit! =)

I toatally agree with you on that 100%.

**purplehairedwonder** · 10-19-2005, 11:20 PM

I love having the internet to communicate. Sure, it doesn't compare with actual face-to-face conversations, but as ZephyrSamba said, there are a lot of positive aspects to it. I really don't have any friends who are as into anime as I am (my only friend who kind is, I turned her onto it, and her viewing is REALLY limited), and having the internet makes it easier to reach those who like anime and want to talk about it. And speaking with others who live in different parts of the country can teach you something about yourself and the country as well, if you want to get philosophical. If you want to stay simple, it's just nice to have someone different to talk to than those you see in your daily life. A little variety in conversations can be nice.

**Mek** · 10-19-2005, 11:35 PM

Personally, I could do without the internet. When I was up in Winnebago (a Native American reservation here in Nebraska) earlier this year, I had no real contact with anyone: no cell phones (they didn't have cell towers up there), no internet... nothing. I had to -forced initially- to interact with other people.

I didn't want to interact with the other kids there, 'cause I've been burnt so badly by others. I'm quite anti-social and I'm rather vapid, btw. But as the week went on, I was surprised that after all these years of being ignored and insulted by other kids, people were actually *coming up to me* and *WANTING* to talk with me or look in my sketchpad that I brought along. This really surprised me, because in school and in the neighborhood, I was always 'that weird little girl no one wanted to be friends with'. I was that kid that was picked last for PE sports, or the one no one wanted to be partnered up with in projects.

I wasn't sure how to handle it. Bear in mind I never interacted with anyone much even before the internet, mainly for the reasons I stated above. But even on the internet I'm outcasted because of my opinions, interests and beliefs. But then again, don't we all feel that way at some point or another?

After I came home, the internet just... didn't feel the same. I essentially became a different person, and I want now so badly to have that interaction with others again. I liked having people just out of the blue come up to me and genuinley want to have a conversation with me.

On ther internet? Not a chance. Just like IRL, people avoid me like the plauge. Not that I mind, but there are times where I kinda would like to spend a few minutes just exchanging jokes over AIM. But now... IM, Live Journal and even forums like these just pale in comparison to actually feeling like I was wanted by someone. I never felt that way before in my entire life.

So yeah. I don't really have any emotional attachment to the internet anymore. Honestly, I wish I knew why I still use it. *shrug* Second nature, perhaps?

**Weatherman** · 10-20-2005, 02:58 AM

The internet is a great tool to further one's social, but that's all it should be, the tool, not the end point. "Internet Only" friendships are only sorta half-formed since there's no physical interaction. The truest friends are the ones yo useem face to face on a constant basis so they can slap you in person when you mess up.