Crap...I'm an AOL member again...

[mikestorm]

If it weren't so darn comical, I'd be pissed right now.

Here I am, wasting away a Sunday on Toon Zone. I happened to go into Toon Zone's Fun & Games forum, and noticed the thread "Google Image the screenname above you" thread. Thinking it was a novel idea, I did so on myself, and was more than a bit surprised to find 6-8 pictures of myself staring back at me.

Aside from one of myself I remember posting in the TZ photo album thread, they are all pictures of myself from 1997 or so, with the one exception being my high school yearbook picture circa 1992.

Clicking through the pictures, I see that they're all coming from AOL's hometown servers. I was an AOL member from 1994 to about 1997, utilizing this same screenname (mikestorm). Apparently, I had left some pictures of myself in "My FTP Space" when I cancelled my account, and despite eight years passing , AOL has decided to keep them.

I fuddled with the AOL hometown homepage trying to get them deleted, but they all kept referring back to the AOL software (i.e. log into MY FTP space and delete them yourself"). Since I can't very well do that, I decided to call AOL tech support.

The VRU asked me a few questions and eventually isolated my account, but then came back with "Your account is cancelled. America Online only provides tech support to current AOL Members. Say 'reactivate service' if you wish to reactivate your account". I tried arguing with the VRU, shouting out words that would enable me to circumvent this roadblock (i.e. "customer service", "operator") but she held her ground. Finally, I gave up and said "reactivate service" figuring I could reason with the human.

Well, it soon dawned on me that the VRU was much more personable than the human who finally picked up the line. My request for him to delete everything in the FTP folder of this old account was apparently well outside this man's box of thinking, and he was unsure how to proceed. "So...you don't want to reactivate then?" says he. Although he didn't sound like him, he reminded me of the token teenager on the Simpsons.

Sensing defeat, I replied "Of course I do." I now have two free months of AOL to do something that will take me 30 seconds. After he set me up, he tried to transfer me to somone else who was going to offer me one free Video Professor lesson. I literally laughed out loud and hung up the phone.

[Kurtman]

My mom and I have a name for AOL. It's called "A.O. Hell".