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  1. #1
    BeastBoyWonder's Avatar
    BeastBoyWonder is offline Teen Titans Go!
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    What to say when somebody passes away?

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    Hey all,

    I've got a bit of a problem and I was wondering if anybody around here had anything insightful to offer. Basically, my brother, whom I was very close to, passed away about a week ago at a little over 15 years old. While certainly sudden and tragic, I'd much rather not discuss that here.

    The problem comes in that I've been asked to give a short speech or talk on my brother at a memorial service that a hell of a lot of his friends, family friends, teachers, people that he knew, etc. will be attending. Now ordinarily, I love public speaking and speechwriting and I jump all over the opportunity to talk in public, but this is a bit of a different scenario. I am absolutely at a loss as to what to talk about or say for him, and I'm desperate for any advice that I can find.

    A big part of the difficulty is that its coming up this Saturday and I've barely got time to write anything up, along with being able to be detached enough to write something good. I'm also not really sure about what's appropriate or socially acceptable in these kinds of scenarios with regards to writing style, what to say and what to avoid, etc. If anybody has been in a similar scenario or has some suggestions as to how to tackle this, I'd greatly appreciate it.

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    I'm really sorry. I'm not going to write a speech for you because I don't know the first thing about your brother, but try not to talk about "god" or anything that could be controversially mistaken - I had such situations. Say only good things about him etc. You could also talk about what he told you he wanted to be too. That's common on those kind of speeches. Try restraining yourself from crying during the speech, as it's likely most people will follow. Good luck.

    EDIT: You could also tell a light joke to lighten the mood and credit it to him.
    Don't try to fix it if you don't know how to make it.
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  3. #3
    BeastBoyWonder's Avatar
    BeastBoyWonder is offline Teen Titans Go!
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    Quote Originally Posted by andyboy
    I'm really sorry. I'm not going to write a speech for you because I don't know the first thing about your brother, but try not to talk about "god" or anything that could be controversially mistaken - I had such situations.
    I understand. That's not something I'm really planning on incorporating into it, I'm thinking of an angle more along the lines of how he lived his life and what we can learn from it type of deal.

    And just to make it clear (from reading the above post), I am most certainly not asking anybody to write anything for me. I'm just looking for some broad, general advice because I don't even know where to start and I really want to make this perfect.

  4. #4
    LightShadow1890's Avatar
    LightShadow1890 is offline ..needs to change her avatar.
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    First off, I'm sorry. I hope he's up there with God smiling down on you. We can't answer when you say "why?"...and at least we can give you a hug.

    Second: I'm sorry, but I haven't made one myself and the only thing I'm relying on for memory is my dad's speech at my uncle's funeral (passed away almost 2 years ago) and my aunt's speech about him a year after that took place. Yeah, kind of bad to say that (and I know you're gonna have an uncomfortable feeling thinking "She doesn't know what she's doing"). The only thing I know is to say good things about him, what he's done...his legacy. And if you cry, try and hold back. And take any tissues that people give you.

    I hope that helps.

    "Humankind cannot gain anything without first something in return.To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's First Law of Equal Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one and only truth." -Alphonse Elric

    "Grammy Flash always used to say the problem with 'an eye for an eye' is that everyone ends up blind." -The Flash


  5. #5
    Sailor Chibi Otaku's Avatar
    Sailor Chibi Otaku is offline Samanosuke Akechi fangirl
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    1) sorry for your loss ;

    2) I give my condolences to the family and friends;

    3) I make and crack jokes. I cried at one funeral (so far) and I've been to a handful of funerals. I am not good at them as I tend to be humouristic during them rather than full of sorrow.

    Here's what I think at ALL of them: I don't understand why people are sad at them. Shouldn't you be happy that their pain and suffering are over and that they're at a better place?

    See why I am not good at them?

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    Natey is offline blank
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    say hes with God and in a better place talk about your good memories with him and special times. try to look at the family of the lost person. and maybe at first if no one said anything serious before you crack i lil joke so people will will more comfy with you as you speak.

    ~Nate~
    -Formally imisshostinCCF

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    Kagetsu is offline Hooligan
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    This may be totally wrong, I've never given eulogys.
    As family and friends we gather to express our feelings of loss and yet remember the joy of of sharing our time with him. *insert personal things here*. (I) want everyone to know that your love and support mean a lot at this very sad moment.

    Just to maybe give you a starting point.
    Personally, I'd avoid jokes of any kind, peoples emotions are often confused at funerals.

  8. #8
    Fone Bone's Avatar
    Fone Bone is offline Bonehead
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    God, I'm so sorry steel. I would suggest being honest and talking about what your brother meant to you and how difficult that can be to put into words. Don't make the whole thing about you, mind, but let people know that death is hard for everyone at a certain point in the speech.
    Matt Zimmer!
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  9. #9
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    silverwings is offline Ronin of Light
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    Well, in my family (or so it seems, haven't been to anyone else's family deaths yet. Hope it stays that way *knocks on wood*), the speaker(s) usually recall happy memories of the person who passed away. Like events that meant alot to them and that they feel the world should know about.

    For example, when my father passed away about a year ago, I talked about the things we did together; our shared pastimes and such. I also talked about his dreams and what he wanted/accomplished out of life.

    Other than that, it can be one of the hardest speeches you'll ever have to write/read. I hope that you don't have to write another anytime soon.
    "Give us cheese! What? No cheese? We're bombing you!" ~Daily Show

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  10. #10
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    Kurtman is offline You blabbing old fart!
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    Well,my mom's sister Nancy passed away mysteriously. My mom thinks she either died in her sleep or got raped. I never met Nancy before so I don't really have an aunt. It is kinda sad to think about it...........
    Little sister,hits the stage
    She can't help it,she's coming of age
    Little junior,he's all in a rage
    Did you notice she was coming of age
    -Damn Yankees:Tommy Shaw,Jack Blades and Ted Nugent

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