what happened at Termite Terrace part 2

[nakak]

This is a part 2 of the same forum someone started few months ago. I thought it was funny so there

(Selzer talking to McKimson about Tazmanian Devil)

Selzer: Robert, that Taz character so damn sucked so hard, I want you to stop making more cartoons with that stupid character, GOT IT!

McKimson: y-y-yes sir.

(a while later)

Jack Warner (OS, like how the Warden did in "Big House Bunny") - SELZER! OFFICE!

(At JL's office. Eddie walks in)

Selzer: Y-y-yes sir?

J.L. - Ed, Tazmanina Devil hasn't appeared in any cartoons for a while, so what is the meaning of this?

(A while later at the door of Jack's office)

J.L.: YOU WHAT!?!? NOW HEAR THIS! YOU BETTER GET MCKIMSON TO MAKE MORE TAZ SHORTS, OR I'LL HAVE TO FIRE YOU GET THAT CAMERA MAN JONH BURTON TAKE OVER YOU! NOW GET OUT!!!!!!!!!

(Selzer walks out grumbling and cursing at Jack)

[J. B. Warner]

I think I get the idea of this thread, even though I wasn't here for the first one...

(Chuck Jones has just finished showing Edward Selzer the test screening of "For Scent-Imental Reasons".)

JONES: Well, what do you think? The whole unit agrees that it's lots better than the last two skunk films.

SELZER: I dunno...all that fractured French doesn't seem necessary.

JONES: Well, it's just satire.

SELZER: It's not funny. Nobody's gonna think this is funny.

JONES: Whatever you say, sir, but I can guarantee that I'll recieve my due credit for this film when it's released.

(Several months later, at the Academy Awards)

PRESENTER: And the award for Best Animated Short Subject goes to...Warner Bros. Studios for "For Scent-Imental Reasons"!

(Applause. A spotlight shines on Jones, Freleng, McKimson, and Selzer all seated in the audience. Jones gets up to accept, but Selzer shoves him out of the way, bounds up the aisle, and takes the award.)

SELZER: Thank you all so much. It's an honor that such a wonderfully funny film could win this award. I knew it'd be a classic - in fact, all that goofy fractured French on the soundtrack? My idea! Ask Jones, he'll tell you!

(Selzer shoots a burning look at Jones, then smiles again. Jones looks severely peeved.)

JONES: Shnook.

[FuriousFreddy99]

JONES: Shnook.:D
Priceless. My Turn

(c. 1939.)
(A strange noise is heard eminating thrught the Termite Terrace hallways...)

"Gwah hooo hooo hooo hooo..."

Friz Freleng: What the heck is that? The Ghost of Christmas Past?

"Gwah hooo hooo hooo hooo..."

Chuck Jones: I dunno. Maybe it's a seagull caught in the ventilation system.

(The both of them explore the studio. They find out the sound is coming from the smaller of the two sweatbox rooms. They enter to discover none othe than...)

TEX AVERY: Ah hoo hoo hooh hoo....GWAH HOOO HOO HOO HOOO--funny cartoon I got here--GWAH HOOO H0O HOO HOO...

[Nick]

(1944 at a meeting in the famous shack...)
Leon: I've got news for you kids... I'm retiring!
(everyone is struck dumb)
Bob Clampett: Why?
Leon: Cos I met a really nice guy called umm Eddie Selzer who loves your cartoons.
Chuck Jones: What has that got to do with it?
Leon: Shut up you. You're so rude that I hope that Selzer punishes you.
Chuck: Why would he punish me?
Leon: Because he's the NEW BOSS!!!
(everyone is struck dumb, again)
Robert McKimson: Will he make me a director?
Thomas McKimson & Charles McKimson: I hope not.
Frank Tashlin: But what in the world would make you give up beloves studio? (turns to Warren Foster, whispering) Dramatic, isn't it?
Leon: The best thing that money can buy! MONEY!
Mike Maltese: That would make a hilarious line.
Leon: SHUT UP!
Selzer: Yeah. Shut up!
Warren Foster: Who are you?
Mike: (whispering) He's the new cel washer.
Selzer: I HEARD THAT! (thinks: What is a cel?) HOW DARE YOU TALK TO YOUR'E NEW PRODUCER LIKE THAT. YOU PIECE OF SH SH SH SH SH SHOELEATHER!
Chuck: So you're Mr. Edward Selzer, then.
Clampett: I loved that line! I've got to use that in a cartoon!

[J. B. Warner]

Okay, I got some more...

(Early 1936. Jack King, Friz Freleng, and Tex Avery are watching a recording session for "Shanghaied Shipmates". In the recording booth, Joe Dougherty stands with his script in front of him.)

KING: Okay, let's try a readthrough, Joe. Roll the film!

The scene begins, and Joe starts to recite.

DOUGHERTY: Y-y-y-you c-c-can't d-d-do this t-to m-m-m-m-m-m-m-me!

KING: Cut! Joe, you're only supposed to stutter at the start and the end of the line.

DOUGHERTY: W-w-well, you kn-kn-kn-know I c-c-c-can't exactly h-h-h-h-help it!

FRELENG: Is it just me, or is this guy getting to be too much of a liability?

KING: Tell me about it. Did I tell you how long the recording session for "Fish Tales" took last week? Five hours! For a six-minute cartoon!

FRELENG: I'm just glad I've only worked with him once. What do you think, Tex?...Tex?

Avery is seated at the radio, listening contentedly. He looks up.

AVERY: Sorry, I was just listening to tonight's "Jack Benny". You ever heard this guy Mel Blanc? He's hilarious!

King and Freleng look at each other slyly.

KING: Oh, Joe...

--------------------------

(Middle 1942. Bob Clampett is seated in one of his story sessions, surrounded by writers.)

CLAMPETT: Okay, we're devising this new short that's basically a takeoff of "Snow White", but with an all-black cast.

WRITER #1: That'll slay 'em in the theaters!

CLAMPETT: My thoughts exactly. Now, who's got some good ideas for takes?

WRITER #2: Ooh, I know! How about a character's eyes bug, and their tongue shoots out with a little wooden sign on it that says "Yipe"?

CLAMPETT: Excellent! Anyone else?

WRITER #3: Well, how about a character gets so surprised that they shoot off the floor like a rocket and get stuck in the ceiling?

CLAMPETT: Hilarious! What else we got?

TEMP WRITER: Can't someone just yell "Oh, no"?

(Everyone gasps in horror. A shocked hush falls over the room. Clampett is absolutely outraged.)

CLAMPETT: Get out.

TEMP WRITER: Aw, nuts. Looks like it's back to cel washin' for me.

[Brandon Pierce]

FRIZ: Now Leon, we're doin a cartoon calledf "You Ought To Be In Pictures" and we want you in it.

LEON: Me? But, I'm not a cartoon! Wait.... are you doin a caricature of me?

FRIZ: We'll no, we want to shoot you in live-action!

LEON: SHOOT ME?! HELP POLICE! THIS MAN'S GONNA SHOOT ME!

FRIZ: NO! That's not what I meant! I MEAN we want to FILM you in live action with Porky Pig!

LEON: Porky Pig's gonna be in live action?

FRIZ: Yeah, sorta.

LEON: So he won't look like a cartoon, he'll look real.

FRIZ: Uhh... no... he's gonna be animated on paper like always.

LEON: So how are you gonna have him be on screen with me, while animated on paper at the same time?

FRIZ: It's.... complicated. Remember that pilot "Bosko the Talk-Ink Kid"? Well, it'll be sorta like that.

LEON: So we're makin a remake with me replacing Ising, and Porky replacing Porky?

FRIZ: No, there will be a different plot, you see Porky will be quiting WB--

LEON: WHAT?! Where's he going MGM?! C'mon let's buy the rights back! We need him for OUR studio!

FRIZ: NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN! IT'S THE PLOT! THE PLOOOOOOOOOOOT!

LEON: How can you joke around like that? I really thought he was takin' by MGM. Why didn't you just say it was a plot for a cartoon. Why are you in here anyway?

FRIZ: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! (faints)

[Mystery guy]

Mid-to-late 1963

David DePatie: (on phone) Uh-huh. Sure. Well, I'll tell them. Thank you. Goodbye. (hangs up phone, then gets onto intercom) Uh, may I have your attention, please? I have some bad news, folks. We... we're going to have to close down the studio.

Everyone (except a few guys): OH NO!

(in Chuck Jone's office)

Chuck Jones: YES! I don't have to work at the WB animation department anymore! I can now open my own animation company! But what should I call it? Hmmm... I could call it Tower 12 Productions...

(in the storywriting department)

John Dunn: (writing script) Well, nuts to this! (throws it away)

(in Friz Freleng's office)

Friz Freleng: Gee... that's too bad. Kids won't be able to see Bugs Bunny anymore.

(a picture of Bugs Bunny gets ripped in half by Hawley Pratt)

Hawley Pratt: At least we finished Senorella before this sad event.

(in the editing room)

Terg Brown: (on phone) Hello, is this Hanna Barbera productions? Well, we at Warner's closed down, so I can send you copies of some of my sound effects. What kind of sound effects? Well, we've got a jungle bird chirping, a car zooming by, a junk and metal crash with small clattering in the end...

1964

(At DePatie-Freleng)

DePatie: Um, Isadore? I just got a call from Jack Warner.

Freleng: Oh no! He wants us to close down, doesn't he?

DePatie: No. He says he's uncomfortable with a rival animation department taking over the old Termite Terrace building. So he wants us to make new Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies!

Freleng: Wow, that's great!

Depatie: Now, who should star in this film?

Freleng: Uh, Bugs Bunny?

DePatie: No. I don't think the animators can draw him.

Freleng: Road Runner and the coyote?

DePatie: There's an idea. We'll start doing cartoons with them next year.

Freleng: How about Speedy Gonzales? He's really popular.

DePatie: Good! We can use him! Now, who should be his enemy?

Freleng: Sylvester?

DePatie: Naw, we can use him later.

Freleng: Daffy Duck?

DePatie: Really? In your dreams! I doubt it's going to happen.

Freleng: How about Yosemite Sam?

DePatie: Now why would Yosemite Sam be a good enemy for Speedy?

Freleng: Well, we can just darken his beard, add a Mexican accent to his hot-tempered voice, and rename him a name, like... like Pancho Vanilla!

DePatie: Perfect. And we can hire some of the old staff to work on these 'toons, except for Chuck Jones, because he's at MGM. Now, are we going to have the circles and the WB shield?

Freleng: Well, since we're at a different studio, maybe we could...

DePatie: Make a new opening?

Freleng: NO! We can use the new-style modern opening and closing from those three cartoons back in 1963.

DePatie: All right. Well, I guess we're under way, now. Also, I wonder if the Pink Panther guy we did will become a short subject star for United Artists...