How do you know you're in love?

[I.R Joey]

This is an interesting thought that's been going around in my head for a while. How do you know when you're truely in love with person? Is it a matter of age and maturity? Middle/High school couples say "I love you" to each other all the time, even when others (like parents) say that they're incapable of truely understanding love at that age and that what they call love is really just surface level emotinal gush. Someone in their 30's however isn't quite so castigated when they say their in love (even if they go through spouses like toilet paper.) Anyway this question arose in my life a couple months ago when I doubted the claim of a friend of mine who said she was in love with a person she'd met over the net. The argument got rather personal as this person was an ex of mine, but I truely felt that she couldn't be in love with a person she'd never met. She told me that I wouldn't understand the kind of empathy they had, and that I didn't understand what it meant to be in love. If human attraction isn't something that can be figured out logically or with reason then how do you know you're really in love and not just infatuated/lustful/crushing or something like that.

To those of you who are married, in a steady relationship, or claiming to be in love how can you honestly say you truely are in love?

P.S Sorry if this isn't as coheriant as my usual posts, I'm hungry sue me.

[Calhoun07]

When you're willing to give everything you have for the person. I know people say relationships have to be 50/50, but really I think they have to be 100/100. If you are not willing to sacrifice for the person, up to and including dying for them if you had to, then you are not in love.

[Zach Logan]

Well I don't know. I met a girl last March, and I am still going out (We are in High School), as you said, we always say "I love you" to each other, and act pretty 'mushy' together. I feel a strong connection with my girl friend which feels even stronger when I am with her. I don't know what true love is, but I am determined to find out what it is. As far as I know though, I am in love, and I feel that way about her, and I know she feels the same about me.

[I.R Joey]

When you're willing to give everything you have for the person. I know people say relationships have to be 50/50, but really I think they have to be 100/100. If you are not willing to sacrifice for the person, up to and including dying for them if you had to, then you are not in love.


So you're saying that the willingness to sacrifice for someone in the definative mark of true love? Cops and Firefighters put their lives on the line for people who they've never met, does that mean they love them?

[Roman Legion]

So you're saying that the willingness to sacrifice for someone in the definative mark of true love? Cops and Firefighters put their lives on the line for people who they've never met, does that mean they love them?

Eh? Sounds like a logical fallacy, there.

As for the topic at hand... the english word "love" is a broadly used thing, lacking the specificity required to be categorized in such a way as this thread is attempting.

Anyway, I don't believe there's any difference in the "initial infatuation" condition from one age to another. The only thing that changes with age is the responsibility / dedication / commitment required to follow up on those feelings and explore further levels of the relationship. Some people can be that mature at a young age, while many others (probably most) can't. Others are never able to deal with this, regardless of age.

Romey
--But personally, I could go for a nice MLT.

[sKorpia]

Love is . . .

when the [bleep] hits the fan and you don't blink.

And that should go for platonic love as well as romantic love.

[James]

I don't think you ever truely know. I suppose you just have to assess your actions and hope it's the right thing. Feelings are always in flux, and there are so many various mental and physical factors that confuse things. You may think you are in love and it's just simply a misread mindstate. The mind can make you think many things when it wants physical interaction/comfort/dependancy/pocessiveness. :p

I'd say look at your actions, and if they are pure and aren't self serving (aside from liking the person) - that's a good sign. If this is mutual (you need to be loved to truely love - you can't love from afar as you don't have a true perspective on the person), then maybe it's the real thing.

I believe you need to know the person as well. I don't believe in love at first sight and I believe it's something nurtured. Maybe when two people know each other well enough to actually see each others true selves. I don't think this happens and needs regular and honest contact.

Fun fun fun.

[Outlander00]

I dont know... plutonic love is easy, because its basically your friends (Im talking friends, not aquaintances and stuff) and family.

With love between a significant others... I think Romey and SJJ have sumed it up pretty much. If you feel a sense of commitment, unity, and continued intamacy (on all levels)/attraction after a period of time... You could consider that love. Basically, youll feel it when it comes to you, in time, while with that person.

As far as teenager being in love... I dont buy it. The reason is that a)you have hormones raging like crazy and b)You havent experience enough people or things to consider yourself in love with anyone. You just set yourself up for heart ache (and a potential statistic of devorcee if you marry right out of high school) that way.



When you're willing to give everything you have for the person. I know people say relationships have to be 50/50, but really I think they have to be 100/100. If you are not willing to sacrifice for the person, up to and including dying for them if you had to, then you are not in love.

I feel the 100/100 thing is a fallacy because your deffinition can be different than the other persons. I have been in that situation and experienced enough to know that doesnt work. Personally, I would sacrifice myself for someone I would love (plutonic or significant other)... However, when that turns into you having to close yourself off to everything to be with someone, that is prohibitive and either one or both people in the relationship wont be happy.

Then again, I am a firm believer in R. Kellys song.. "Homey, lover, friend is what Im looking for" :D

[Classic Speedy]

If your relationship is based purely on flirting, it's not going to last. There has to be something deeper- a connection, whether it be in common interests or goals, attitudes, etc. Of course, I've never been in love so what do I know? ;)

[Tanooki]

i agree with previous posts in saying that true love is when you are willing to give everything up for the other person. also, when you're asleep at night and you're dreaming, you think of being without that person and your eyes start to water up, then you know you two have a special connection

Falcon
"you can love people, but you don't have to like them" such is the motto of my family :D

[EinBebop]

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

--Matt Groening

[JohnCrichton]

When she's not wearing any make-up and you still think she's the most beautiful woman in the world and when you have no money, yet she still sees you as a King.... that's love.

[William C. Maune]

According to Van Halen:

Everybody’s lookin’ for somethin’
Somethin’ to fill in the holes
We think a lot but don’t talk much about it
’til things get out of control
How do I know when it’s love
I can’t tell you but it lasts forever
How does it feel when it’s love
It’s just something you feel together
When it’s love
You look at every face in a crowd
Some shine and some keep you guessin’
Waiting for someone to come into focus
Teach you your final love lesson
How do I know when it’s love
I can’t tell you but it lasts forever
How does it feel when it’s love
It’s just something you feel together
Oh oh oh oh
Oh when it’s love
Oh oh oh oh
You can feel it yeah
Oh oh oh oh
Nothing’s missing
Yeah
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Nothing’s missing
How do I know when it’s love,
I can’t tell you but it lasts forever
How does it feel when it’s love
I can’t tell you but it lasts forever
When it’s love
When it’s love
It’ll last forever
When it’s love
You and i
We’re gonna feel this thing together
When it’s love
When it’s love
You can feel it
We’ll make it last forever
When it’s love

[Good Ol' Batmanuel!]

How do you know? When you're twitterpated! Which leads us to "how do you know when you're twitterpated?" Um...you're on your own. :p

P.S. Nice answer, Maune!

[Kuja's Light]

When she's not wearing any make-up and you still think she's the most beautiful woman in the world and when you have no money, yet she still sees you as a King.... that's love.


So true man......Oh so true....

I have found my true love. And would you believe I've only talked to her over the Internet? True love, as in of course, romantic love, is about spiritual, mental, and emotional connection. I've felt all three of those already, and boy, does it feel awesome. No lies either, considering I never lie.

[randomguy]

William C. Maune just got on the cool list.

Anyhow, it's really not worth thinking about. Love just sort of happens. You'll deal with it... or not. Such is life.

Which I suppose doesn't help you at all

[czyznyck99]

The word is too abstract to be singlehandely defined. That's I stay away from it.

Later.

[pabcool]

After reading this thread and getting pure enjoyment out of it, I can say one thing, and one thing only.

My head hurts. Badly.

[Psilon]

Well...romantic love


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3236328.stm

"Dr John Marsden says dopamine - the drug released by the brain when it is aroused - has similar effects on the body and mind as cocaine or speed.

"Attraction and lust really is like a drug. It leaves you wanting more," the National Addiction Centre head said.

His findings will appear in a BBC programme to be broadcast next month.

Pounding heart

"Being attracted to someone sparks the same incredible feelings no matter who you are. Love really does know no boundaries," he said.

According to Dr Marsden - a chartered psychologist - the brain which processes emotions becomes "fired up" when talking to someone it finds attractive.

The heart pounds three times faster than normal and causes blood to be diverted to the cheeks and sexual organs, which causes the feeling of butterflies in the stomach, he says."

So when you are in love, you will have the effects listed above.

[Jaguar]

Well I don't know. I met a girl last March, and I am still going out (We are in High School), as you said, we always say "I love you" to each other, and act pretty 'mushy' together. I feel a strong connection with my girl friend which feels even stronger when I am with her. I don't know what true love is, but I am determined to find out what it is. As far as I know though, I am in love, and I feel that way about her, and I know she feels the same about me.

I despise you and your luck.

[DianaGohan]

True Love Is A Combination Of Feelings For That Person, Your Mind Accepting These Feelings And Knowing They Are The Right Ones, And The Experience Of Having Some Sort Of Love Before But That One Not Being "True". At least that's how I feel anyway.

[Roman Legion]

True love is more action than feelings or words...

...but y'know, that could really be taken the wrong way. =x

--Romey

[Digu Volz]

What's to say there's only one definition when it comes to being 'in love' ? Make of it what you will, it's not like you're going to be carrying a check list around, anyway.

[Billy]

When she's not wearing any make-up and you still think she's the most beautiful woman in the world and when you have no money, yet she still sees you as a King.... that's love.
I completely understand.

1) Hide her make-up
2) Give all your money away to charity
3) Wear a crown 24 hours a day
4) True love prevails

(sorry, but after reading that post I couldn't resist)

[MJC]

Love (in the romantic sense) is an abstract, imaginary concept that exists mostly to promote Valentine's Day and Sweetest Day. That's how I see it.

[MCSarah]

To me, it's looking at that person and realizing that you're where you are meant to be. It's being in their arms and finally being at peace, the kind of peace where every atom of your body is happy. It's like magic.

For me, it never happened like that in High School. Maybe it can happen that early, but I'm doubtful. Of course, I was doubtful that I would ever find that someone, but I did. :D Actually, he's the one that got me started posting here at ToonZone (William C. Maune)! How cool is that?!

[Avery]

Love is when you can pat their back while they puke their guts out, and still want to kiss them (after proper hygiene considerations, of course).

[randomguy]

Love (in the romantic sense) is an abstract, imaginary concept that exists mostly to promote Valentine's Day and Sweetest Day. That's how I see it.

You're missing out.

[pabcool]

Well...romantic love


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3236328.stm

"Dr John Marsden says dopamine - the drug released by the brain when it is aroused - has similar effects on the body and mind as cocaine or speed.

"Attraction and lust really is like a drug. It leaves you wanting more," the National Addiction Centre head said.

His findings will appear in a BBC programme to be broadcast next month.

Pounding heart

"Being attracted to someone sparks the same incredible feelings no matter who you are. Love really does know no boundaries," he said.

According to Dr Marsden - a chartered psychologist - the brain which processes emotions becomes "fired up" when talking to someone it finds attractive.

The heart pounds three times faster than normal and causes blood to be diverted to the cheeks and sexual organs, which causes the feeling of butterflies in the stomach, he says."

So when you are in love, you will have the effects listed above.

That's a pretty good definition, though a teensy bit on the vague side.



Love (in the romantic sense) is an abstract, imaginary concept that exists mostly to promote Valentine's Day and Sweetest Day. That's how I see it.

TEH WINNAR@!

[Angel_Baby]

I think that love is when your in so muck pain but also in your own personal heaven. You have to be willing to show every part of who you are, you can't hide anything especally if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person! Love can be a wonderful thing!

~jenn :p

[Lil' Joker]

When you feel a tingly feeling in your chest when your around the boy/girl. I'm not sure what causes it to tingle though,does anyone know?