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View Full Version : Belch's Brief Reviews--Sep 29, 2001



DR. BELCH
09-29-2001, 06:35 PM
Well, the new season is upon us at Kids' WB. For the most part, it's either mediocre or downright unwatchable...although I admit there's a couple of old favorites worth a second look--Jackie Chan Adventures and the mutant dark horse X-Men Evolution.

POK:JLC: "Hassle in the Castle"
One must question the intelligence of the whole of Team Twerp when it comes up a bad cloud and they decide to duck into a castle that's right out of a Boris Karloff or Lon Cheney movie.
Turns out it isn't home to some unspeakable monster, and those unspeakable noises aren't some poor villager being torn apart by Frankenstein, but the offices of a very pretty doctor who inherited her unorthodox offices from a grateful former patient (was her name Mrs. Tepes, I wonder?)
Brock falls in love with her imediately, and has these repeated fantasies about wooing and marrying Dr. Hottie. Sounds like some unresolved lust for Prof. Ivy, coupled with his quasi-Oedipal complex which leads him to transfer his unfullfilled mommy-longing onto older female authority figures like policewomen and nurses. Great line: after he starts rambling about affectionate nicknames she can use on him, he says, "What would you like to call me?" Misty, never one to miss a good straight line, suggests something like "insane". I'm thinking the Japanese equivalent of a four-leter word got dubbed out.
The doctor also owns a Zubat, which she uses to conduct her examinations (echolocation as sa sustitute for X-rays?), and Brock uses this as his "in" by whipping out his own. Her Zubat is, conveniently, a girl (one can tell by its little bow).
Meantime Team Rocket sneaks into the back door of the castle and invites themself to dinner. When the others enter the dining room they catch Jessy and James and Meowth pigging out. They try to make a break for it but end up falling into a boobytrapped hallway (it seems the doctor only got the lease recently and hasn't figured out where all the little extras the real estate agent never got around to mentioning are). Brock and the doc use their Zubats' echolocation to guide them out of the labyrinth while Ash, Misty, and the doctors assistant (who does very little in this script, and, although she looks about Brock's age, he never bothers to chat her up) uncover the exit, which is buried in the cliffside.
James and Meowth are actually pretty comfortable where they are in the maze...but Jessy flips out and literally tears the place apart looking for an escape. She finally decides to swipe the Zubats and make a run for it, but gets thwarted by the doctor. The others free the exit, and the Rockets grab Pikachu. Here Zubat evolves into Goldbat and makes short work of the Rockets.
Now the irony--the doctor says Golbat's attacks are too strong (in other words, it's echolocation attack will blow apart her patients like rotten pumpkins) and she can't employ it it her practice. Brock was so happy his Pokemon evolved, but I think it cost him what could have been a beautiful relationship. Poor bugger.
Note also that Wobafett, despite Jessy's constant berating and abuse, is the only one willing to back her up in her search for a way out of the maze. It s like a dog who's so fawning and obedient you don't know whether it's painfully loyal or just dang stupid.
Most dodgy exchange:
Jessy: To protect our skin from burning and itching!
James: To protect ourselves from Jessy's...[comic pause]-...complaining!
There's one for the Pokemopolis hall of fame, right there. :D

JCA: "The Stronger Evil" (?)
Since Tohru has left the Dark Hand and moved into Uncle's shop, a sizable void is left...which is filled by Hok Fu (Jim Cummings), the red-headed martial artist who shouts the animal-based names of his attacks.
Chandu is banished to hell, but promises his fellow demons that if allowed to return to our world, he will open a door for the lot (who sort of remind me of some of the ghouls on Ghostbusters--in fact, the setting looks rather like the dimension inside the basement containment unit). He is allowed to come back as a non-corporeal entity, and schemes to posses the body of his most hated enemy, Jackie.
The Dark Hand, armed with the talismans, robs a bank reserve--by far the best part of the episode, what with its Chan-style saniness and comic timing mixed with gymnastic feats--the whole thing plays like a scene from one of his movies (fav bit was seeing Hok Fu hand over his talismans to his fellow goon with hte "lame powers", and the big one with the bandage on his nose get turne dinto a walrus while driving). Chandu misses his target--thanks to Jade and a rocket pack--and winds up inside Valmont. He's none too happy about that. Neither one is, really.
Chandu, unhappy about Valmont's men using his talismans for petty theft, schemes to crush Jackie with the Shadow Khan. He invades Uncle's shop, clobbers Tohru, and steals an ancient book. Jackie is left to speculate what his next move is....coming up in part two.

THE MUMMY: "The Summoning"
I never saw the movie, so I really couldn't follow this one. An ancient mumy is bought to life and schemes to steal some ancient scroll, and theres some powerful magic bracelet that gets attaatched to the wrist of the son of a pair of married archaologist's wrist. The msot notable thing is the voice of Jim Cumings as the villain. I wonder if that bracelet is removable, and if not, how it will impact the kid's life? Seems it'd be an inconvenience to wear it constantly--I won't even wear my rings in the shower.

POK:JLC: "Hook, Line, and Stinker"
As Ash notes, it's a lot like the bug-catching competition...but with fish. Misty gets into a competition with a snotty punk who says her Polliwhirl is a wussy because it hasn't yet evolved. The object is to catch the biggest Seaking, and the prize is a mountain of chocolate bars.
The funniest bit comes when Team Rocket enters the competition (using Meowth as a lure, though Jessy knows cats dislike water) and her line gers tangled with Misty's underwater. The two pull and tug until their boats collide sharply and wreck. Ash unwittingly puns that Misty's catch was "probably a bottom-feeder, like a catfish".
Another subtle pun: both Jessy and Misty have lures modeled after themselves. Sicne botha are voiced by the same actress (Rachel Lillis) and are hot-tempered redheads, it's always funny to see the writers show they're more alike than they realize.
Note again Team Twerp fail to recognize their old enemies, even though Jessy isn't wearing anything to cover up her unmistakable red hair. Incidentally, she looks very fetching in her fishing outfit.
Both Misty's rival and she capture Seakings weighing exactly fifty kilos, so they have to battle. Misty gives her Polliwhirl a pep talk and sends it in, and it whips the other guy's Polliwrath. Team Rocket tries to make off with the chocolate--reminiscent of another competition where the prize was food (a year's supply of Ramens)--but are quickly dispatched by Pikachu.
Misty plans to send chocolate to all her family and friends--even Pikachu and Togepi (which I find odd, though I guess, unlike dogs, chocolate isn't deadly to Pokemon)...but for some reason leaves Ash out. Sort of a chocolate kiss-off, one might say. :p

XMEN: "Growing Pains"
The first thing I noticed about this episode was the depth of the animation as compared to the first season--the deep green hues of the grass on a soccer field, the 3-D effect of a soccer ball rolling, the bone-crunching effect of several girls tumbling to the ground that looked so real I actually cringed.
However, the script is still sufferieng from just as many holes. First of all, Xavier's mutants are still attending Bayville High , though "Darkholme" has resigned inexplicably--either she died as a result of the improvements she underwent in Magneto's machine, or she's in hiding plotting against him and too busy to serve as principal. Secondly, note that Lance seems to be behaving amorously towards Shadowcat--even being teased by his friends about trying to get "that Kitty up a tree" (I don't even want to tink about what that eupjhamism implies)--rather than behaving with the usual hatred...and acts like a spurned lover when she tells him to bugger off at an assembly. (BTW, it's refreshing to hear less "Valley" in Kitty's speech patterns, and even Rogue sounds a bit better. Logan's still got that Texas accent, but I'm getting more used to it).
There's also more mutants at Xaviers', although except maybe for a kid with ice powers who may be young Bobby Drake, I don't recognize a one of them or know if any will be focused on this season. Charles and Logan consider enlarging the teaching staff (Logan suggests a couple of tanks). Lance decides to "come out" at a public athletic event and tell the whole school he and his buddies are mutants, as are Scott and his friends.
Now here's where it started to fall apart for me: Xavier mind-wipes the entire crowd to make them forget what they've heard. It's wrong on two levels: one, it's such a deus ex machina, and two, it seems very against Charles' moral code. Xavier has only used his powers to this effect twice in his life that I know of from the comics: once as a young man he forced a woman he loved who was about to walk out on him to stay (after which he promised never to abuse his powers again). The second was to Eric Magnus after he magnetically murdered a fellow mutant at a graveside service and, later, during a battle, ripped all the adamantium after Wolverine's bones...reducing him to a catatonic state. So this mass mind-wipe seems very contrary to the character of Xavier. It didn't help matters when Storm questioned its effect on his health rather than the moral ramifications of the act, and he never really seemed to question/doubt himself (Xavier has always struck me as a deeply introspective sort).
In the end it's hinted that Magneto was in the area, as all the TV cameras suffered magnetic interference. I'm wondering how he'll be handled in the second season and whether his past will be delved into more. In other words, could Magnus have been a boy in a Nazi concentration camp, gotten out, emigrated to the States, attended med school, and graduated in time to serve in the war as a medical officer, where he met Charles and somewhere in there marry and lose Magda, and father Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch? Then again. I've been known to ask for too much before.... ;)

I skipped The Nightmare Room and Yugioh and watched The Ripping Friends (pretty good, although last week's was better) and a little of Alien: Evolution (though I dozed off, being worn out from some intense babysitting). Also watched a second installment of ABC's Lizzie McGuire, which is esentially a girlie gross between Student Bodies and Bailey Kipper's P.O.V. And as they tell us every five minutes, it's "powered by Zoog", which I remain convinced is one of the mystery lanthanide series elements of the periodic table. Beats the frig out of R.L. Stine though. (Now there's a charming notion...) ;) :D

BourgeoisBuffoon
09-29-2001, 06:46 PM
Whoa....Brock's Zubat finally evolved!? That's amazing! They're actually evolving! For once, the writers are DOING something with Ash's companion's 'mon.
I also have to admit that Misty's getting to meet a lot of water trainers who apparently are training the exact same pokemon. Sigh...see the Golduck premier eppy for reference.
And why did Misty give away all that chocolate?! Crazy, I tell ya!

Brock liking older women...I thought up a H!/Pokemon crossover there. With World's Oldest Woman. :P

Anthonynotes
09-30-2001, 12:04 AM
>>>In other words, could Magnus have been a boy in a Nazi concentration camp, gotten out, emigrated to the States, attended med school, and graduated in time to serve in the war as a medical officer, where he met Charles and somewhere in there marry and lose Magda, and father Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch? Then again. I've been known to ask for too much before.... <<

Well, I'm not too familiar with the origin (comic or otherwise) of how Magneto and Prof. X met up, etc., and trying to look it up on the Web was unsuccessful, so my presumptions are the following:

1. Magneto's original origin of being a young adult in WWII (and in a concentration camp, etc.) still holds up. Possibility of some goofy comic book explanation of why he's a fairly active 80-something, a la the Justice Society members. May have still met Xavier in WWII (which if so, requires the same odd explanation for Xavier's lack of aging as well), or their meeting's been moved up to a later war they took part in (like Korea)....

2. The "Magneto was a boy in WWII" thing might just be for the movie. Which wouldn't be the first time a comic's backstory's been changed for movies (see: the first two "Superman" movies, which didn't jibe much with the actual comics of the time)...

3. Magneto would've had to have had Quicksilver/Scarlet Witch perpetually twentysomething (or so) years ago per the "sliding scale" comic book timeline that comic book characters usually adhere to (where events are referred to as taking place "X" number of years ago from whatever the current year is, and thus presuming that the characters don't age---see: the "Simpsons", where Bart's always born 10 years ago, and events following this (Lisa's birth) dated accordingly)...thus, they'd have been born in the 70's or so by this point, well after the other events in question.

Alternate suggestion: they've moved up Magneto's backstory so he was a boy in WWII, and did all that other stuff (med school, meeting Xavier, etc.) in a later war, and all ensuring that he's not too "old"...though I doubt this is likely, given how much this origin means for the character...

-B.

RockItShipper
09-30-2001, 12:14 AM
Originally posted by BourgeoisBuffoon
Whoa....Brock's Zubat finally evolved!? That's amazing! They're actually evolving! For once, the writers are DOING something with Ash's companion's 'mon.
It's not all that frequent, but look for one more evolution among "Brock's" pokemon this season... "Misty" caught a G/S/C water-type during the Whirlpool Islands arc which started late last summer in Japan- meaning it'll be at the tail end of this season or during the next one.

Anyway, RE: The Mummy... The mummy's origin is toned down from the movie. The bracelet bit with the kid- pretty much the same deal as in the second movie... Dunno know if I'm going to give this much more of a chance. Jonathan and Ardeth gave a much better show in The Mummy Returns....

Leaping Larry Jojo
09-30-2001, 10:20 AM
Originally posted by DR. BELCH

I skipped The Nightmare Room and Yugioh

You didn't miss much. Yugi-oh was just as bad as I remembered. What kind of main character cares more about his hobby than his sick grandfather? (or something). Pathetic. And this wasn't played for laughs, either. It was deadly serious. *Retch*

I'm not a Stine fan, so I skipped Nightmare Room as well. I imagine I didn't miss much.

Nftnat
09-30-2001, 05:38 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by DR. BELCH
[B]The object is to catch the biggest Seaking, and the prize is a mountain of chocolate bars.

That has me wondering, which is always a dangerous thing. I remember one of the Weekend previews from last season (brought to us, as always, in glorious stock footage). It was advertising a contest with some enormous amount of chocolate as a prize. Cut to Team Rocket stock footage with Jessy saying, "That's a lot of chocolate!" Wonder if it's from that ep. If it is, people might've well been scratching their hands 'till this weekend wondering where that line was from. Well, just curious, as always. And in more ways than one.

BourgeoisBuffoon
09-30-2001, 06:05 PM
If the commercial is really from that eppy, then I REALLY fear for how KWB has gotten out of schedule for Pokemon eppys-I thought they learned that lesson from the Orange Leauge.

....oh, and if THE NIGHTMARE ROOM is anything like the original GOOSEBUMPS live action series, I don't give it a chance at all like I did with the GS series ...Stine was at least popular back then, the GS series had potential, now they have nothing...plus, I STILL think abandoning the old GB book series was his worst mistake. Not his writing quality going down, but that move.

Lonestarr
10-01-2001, 10:33 AM
I was disappointed with "The Mummy". There was so much wrong with it, but maybe it'll take a while to hit its stride.

"X-Men: Evolution" was pretty good, but the third act kept reminding me of the series finale of "MIB".

I saw a sneak preview of "The Nightmare Room" a few weeks back, and if R.L. Stine's books are anything like this show, then he is, without argument, the most successful hack ever to put pen to paper.

Killtacular
10-01-2001, 12:56 PM
ABC is powered by Zoog? Yuck. First Disney cancels their good cartoons and puts on One Saturday Morning.. then they decide to cancel THOSE cartoons, and just air Disney Channel material?

How much more proof do we need that Disney is quickly becoming bankrupt? Or at least its animation department.

DR. BELCH
10-01-2001, 03:52 PM
All the channels have gone to blazes on Saturday morning. CBS nixed all its animation in favor of airing Nick Jr. sludge...NBC cut its cartoons to air peurile preeteen-aimed garbage like Hang Time and City Guys...at least half of Kids' WB is utterly unwatchable...and now ABC seems to be targetng the diaper demographic.
Something I noted during "Hook, Line, and Stinker"--Misty says to her opponent that she'll be "on you like white on rice!" I said, "I'll be darned--Misty must be a good ol' Southern girl!" :)


BourgeoisBuffoon:
And why did Misty give away all that chocolate?! Crazy, I tell ya!
Well, if she ate it all herself, she'd probably get too pudgy too fit itto those painted-on Daisy Dukes of hers. :D

RockItShipper
10-01-2001, 07:18 PM
Originally posted by Leaping Larry Jojo


You didn't miss much. Yugi-oh was just as bad as I remembered. What kind of main character cares more about his hobby than his sick grandfather? (or something). Pathetic. And this wasn't played for laughs, either. It was deadly serious. *Retch*


Geez. He's even worse than I'd seen. What I saw was the tail end of one series, and the start of another- given the theme song.... But seeing as how this game with a Gothy person had started in a previous episode and carried on to the end of my tape.... Bad bad bad....

A fat male cheerleader, Yugi's dom wear, and Yugi's yaoi buddy (Joey?) in a dog suit couldn't save it. Oh well, at least I have a tape with Japanese McDonalds and Pepsi commercials on it....

TuffyCatt
10-02-2001, 08:30 PM
Originally posted by DR. BELCH


XMEN: "Growing Pains"

Now here's where it started to fall apart for me: Xavier mind-wipes the entire crowd to make them forget what they've heard. It's wrong on two levels: one, it's such a deus ex machina, and two, it seems very against Charles' moral code. Xavier has only used his powers to this effect twice in his life that I know of from the comics: once as a young man he forced a woman he loved who was about to walk out on him to stay (after which he promised never to abuse his powers again). The second was to Eric Magnus after he magnetically murdered a fellow mutant at a graveside service and, later, during a battle, ripped all the adamantium after Wolverine's bones...reducing him to a catatonic state. [/B]

Well there is one time you forgot from the show. In Episode 8 "Spykecam" at the end Xaiver drops Sabretooth out of the X-Jet. Then Sabretooth wakes up (He had been knocked out) and said "Where am I? Can't remember!" Then Charles flys the X-Jet away as if making Sabretooth forget where the institute was was something he was trying to do and he was. And in the first episode ever Charles changes the mind of a police officer about the possibility of there being a mutant and there being "a leak in the propane tank"

-KurtMan
P.S. You will see me quoting the exact lines used in X-Men Evolution a lot because I have memorized every line from every episode excluding Growing Pains"Not for long" and I take pride in that and use what I know
-Bye!!!:rolleyes:

Clifton1990
10-02-2001, 08:35 PM
I can't belive I did it again!!:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
Ok the charles Xaiver responce above was me!!!
This isn't the first time I have forgotten to log out of my sister's name as some of you know" In case you didn't know Tuffycat and I are Brother, Sister. Making me the Brother. She is on toonzone so often. I forget to check if she was on last (She always was on last :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: )
Well sorry Connie (Tuffycat)
Sorry Everyone

BourgeoisBuffoon
10-02-2001, 08:48 PM
Eh, don't worry about it. We all make mistakes, and I'm on Toon Zone more than that's healthy...personally, Tuffycatt, that means free posts under your name when a screw-up like that happens! :D


SAID BY DR. BELCH: Well, if she ate it all herself, she'd probably get too pudgy too fit into those painted-on Daisy Dukes of hers.

Hm...oh, right, weight. Still, since they travel so much, I doubt it'd be on her for long. Still, *I* wouldn't care about my size with all that chocolate around! :D

TuffyCatt
10-05-2001, 04:46 PM
Goodness Clifton, what am I gonna do with you?? :p Just kidding! Just chill out and don't do it again. BTW, you can edit your posts, so next time you do that (even thought you should never do it again;) ), just let me know and I'll change it.

Anyway, to stay on topic...I found the new X-Men episode to be about on par with last season...it was okay, but it could've been better.

I wish Misty would send me some chocolate...
:)