Critique of a promo brochure

[Outlander00]

Alright, guys... The local alien mod needs your help!

I am working on my own promo brochure to send out to a massive amount of people for promo purposes. However, multiple sets of eyes are better than one, I always say... So this is where I need the help.

Here I have the layout thus far with some of the text inputted already.

Front
http://pratt.edu/~jstone/oppage-1.jpg

Inside
http://pratt.edu/~jstone/oppage-2.jpg

remember to be critical... Because I am using this as part of my marketing plan.

Thanks!

[Kylewayne]

Well...first off all the color is all wrong, the shading eh...*runs*
KIDDING!

WowKiller! The PROMO pics look awsome! Imay use your services someday^^

[wriggle]

Wow. *VERY* impressive :) I think I recognise some of those

But okay, helpfullness... How're you gonna fold that? Or are you? I got the impression that you are, as it says 'inside'. But there doesn't seem to be a halfway mark on the first one to be able to fold..

...Or am I blind?

And, I would have thought maybe of putting them the other way around, like with the two black ones on the outside (front) with the pictures on the inside. If only because (though the pictures *are* attention grabbing and purrdy (tee hee)) while looking at the pictures, I really have no idea of what you're on about. While the info makes it clearer. Maybe having a little bit of 'do you need -graphic design, web design etc etc' type thing would help. Or will those go to people who *will* understand straight away? Am I just an ignorant child?

Maybe

Oh yeah, what's that little white box thingy for? That little white one inbetween the two black text boxes.. That one

[Outlander00]

Wow. *VERY* impressive :) I think I recognise some of those

But okay, helpfullness... How're you gonna fold that? Or are you? I got the impression that you are, as it says 'inside'. But there doesn't seem to be a halfway mark on the first one to be able to fold..

...Or am I blind?

And, I would have thought maybe of putting them the other way around, like with the two black ones on the outside (front) with the pictures on the inside. If only because (though the pictures *are* attention grabbing and purrdy (tee hee)) while looking at the pictures, I really have no idea of what you're on about. While the info makes it clearer. Maybe having a little bit of 'do you need -graphic design, web design etc etc' type thing would help. Or will those go to people who *will* understand straight away? Am I just an ignorant child?

Maybe

Oh yeah, what's that little white box thingy for? That little white one inbetween the two black text boxes.. That one


The inside was set up with an asthetic purpose... that, when unfolded, it would act as one big tear sheet/info page that also serves as a representation of my graphic design skills. But you do raise an excellent point about how the paper engineering will be and will test it out before sending it to be printed.

I really dont have to worry about the "do you need -graphic design, web design, etc" hook statement, because my target audience already has those needs (Art Directors, Designers, large corporate accounts, etc). In North America, its all about presentation... Something that will catch their eye. Also, adding the bottom listing of service on the front cover already gives them a subliminal statement as to what I am offering. I plan to have this accompanied with another tearsheet, promocards, and a business card already (I even have a promo package set up that would encapsulating these and a CD portfolio in a DVD case).

The middle section on the "front" is a standard mailing panel, just in case I have to bulk mail some of them.

And no, youre not an ignorant child, wriggle :)

[Ikwig]

Wow!!! Overall, it looks really great, Outlander! Love the layout and the ad blurb especially! :)

However, since you asked for critique, there are a couple little things which "niggled" at me: first of all, it looks a bit odd/off-balance that you have examples for everything except the web design. I've got no clue about web design myself; is that something which you really can't give an example of in a brochure?

For your illustration examples, I really like your using a picture with some color for the center sample (it draws the eye to those examples beautifully), but I wouldn't use the "Justice" pic. It's a great pic, but, for the brochure it has to be so small that one loses all the details, which makes it look a little out of place beside the other two pics.

Finally, in the second sentence in the blurb, I think you need to add a "the" in front of "rules", so that it reads "A place not bound by conventional thought or the rules of the graphic arts." After all, you aren't talking about rules in general, but about a very specific set of rules; to my mind, it reads awkwardly w/o the "the".

Otherwise, it really looks fantastic! :) Good luck with the promoting! :)

[Outlander00]

Wow!!! Overall, it looks really great, Outlander! Love the layout and the ad blurb especially! :)

However, since you asked for critique, there are a couple little things which "niggled" at me: first of all, it looks a bit odd/off-balance that you have examples for everything except the web design. I've got no clue about web design myself; is that something which you really can't give an example of in a brochure?

For your illustration examples, I really like your using a picture with some color for the center sample (it draws the eye to those examples beautifully), but I wouldn't use the "Justice" pic. It's a great pic, but, for the brochure it has to be so small that one loses all the details, which makes it look a little out of place beside the other two pics.

Finally, in the second sentence in the blurb, I think you need to add a "the" in front of "rules", so that it reads "A place not bound by conventional thought or the rules of the graphic arts." After all, you aren't talking about rules in general, but about a very specific set of rules; to my mind, it reads awkwardly w/o the "the".

Otherwise, it really looks fantastic! :) Good luck with the promoting! :)


Thanks for the critique, Ikwig! :)

I am reconsidering part of the layout and images used, deffinately... So this may or may not be what the final looks like.

Anyone else? :D

[Outlander00]

Well, after taking peoples advice... Heres the second round with the brochure. I am still fiddling with the body text inside, as you can tell.


http://pratt.edu/~jstone/oppage-1a.jpg


http://pratt.edu/~jstone/oppage-2a.jpg



Any comments?

[pabcool]

Holy expletive, Batman! (God, that sucked)

Honestly, I love it. Goooood stuff.

[Outlander00]

Holy expletive, Batman! (God, that sucked)

Honestly, I love it. Goooood stuff.

lol, I give an A for effort, though, pabcool. :D

thanks for the sentiment... Anyone else have a critique? Remember to not hold back... Doesnt do me a damn bit of good to sugar coat it :D

[Ikwig]

thanks for the sentiment... Anyone else have a critique? Remember to not hold back... Doesnt do me a damn bit of good to sugar coat it :D

Heh heh heh. . . well, you asked for it! :p

Nah, I'm just kidding. Version 2 is definitely an improvement on Version 1; I've only got a couple little nit-picks this time! :)

Re: the middle pic under "Illustration" - I still love the way the use of one strong color really draws the reader's eye to those pics, but I think that particular image is, perhaps, a bit too controversial and could lose you some customers. I also thought the pic on the right in Version 1 was a better choice than the one in Version 2: the Version 1 pic was darker and had fewer tiny details, which made that line of pics look better balanced than they do in Version 2.

Re: the blurbs - adding the explanations for each service which your company can provide is great; I just noticed some typos (which you're probably already aware of) and some grammatically awkward bits which could keep companys from considering you. (At my last "real" job at a museum, writing brochures was one of my duties, so if you'd like some suggestions, feel free to PM me. And if you don't want suggestions, that's fine too. :))

It's really coming along beautifully, though - keep up the great work! :)

[Outlander00]

Yeah, I kind of figured it would be too controversial... I guess I have to do another editorial illustration just for that. :p for now it is a place holder to show commercial, editorial, then my drawing style

Also, I am currently editing the text... I put it in there in that post to get a good idea as to how it'll look. And, yes, I'll greatly accept some help with it Ikwig :D

[Outlander00]

Okay! Round 3... You guys ready?

http://pratt.edu/~jstone/oppage-1f.jpg


http://pratt.edu/~jstone/oppage-2f.jpg


I decided to change the format of the inside because of the fold issue that Wriggle brought up. It turned out that it allowed me to put more images into it.

Alright everyone... do your worst! :D


EDIT - I have changed and edited it some more.... I can still take it! Come on and comment already!! :p

[Ikwig]

Hey! Version three is looking fantastic! :) I love the new layout and the pic you chose for the back; overall it looks great.

Since you asked for suggestions for the blurbs, here's what I would do: (note: I went over all five blurbs; I changed some, and just fixed typos in others.)

Graphic Design should be dynamic with the changing needs of the world, as companies are always in need of new ways to reach consumers. By offering a wide range of graphic design services suitable for any type of organization, we can help you to successfully, and uniquely, reach your target market.

Illustration is about provoking thought and telling stories. It is meant to entice the imaginations of its audience. We provide illustrative services for book, editorial, commercial and media outlets.

Graphic Design has quickly branched out in the time since the introduction of the World Wide Web and Interactive Media. It has become imperative for each organization to take maximum advantage of these communication outlets to creatively market themselves. To fulfill your company’s marketing objectives, Outland offers Web Design, Interactive Design, and Animation services that will fulfill your organization’s needs.

Successful companies are always on the lookout for innovative ways to attract customers to their goods or services, whether in creating an image for a brand or a specific product. We stand ready to provide creative, targeted branding support services for your company’s future products and services.

A place not bound by conventional thought or the rules of graphic arts. Where ideas flow and take the form of visually stunning work. Where boundaries are smashed, while a level of professionalism is expected and maintained. Where your creative needs are fulfilled while focusing on your market. A place like this does exist. . .

Use them or not, as you wish! ;)