JusSonic
03-20-2003, 01:47 PM
Loud: IS THIS MOVIE OVER YET?
Toast: Nope, we aren't enough with Chapter 2, and we still have Chapters 3-4 to view.
Loud: SOMEONE SHOOTS ME NOW.
Charity: No! I won't let you commit suicide because of this!
Pule: Relax, Charity. It is only an expression.
Charity: I hope so.
[Sammy: Um, I think it's time to end this sightseeing and RUN AWAY!!]
Toast: Dude, finally Sammy got something right.
[Harry: Quick, run out the back, he'll see us otherwise! (They run away to the back of the hotel. Nearby, the trenchcoated man falls to the floor]
Charity: Hopefully dead.
[from the rumbling, and his hat falls off. We now see who he is; it's Mr. Morre from the park/hotel.]
Pule: Hey, we were right earlier. All right!
[He runs outside and sees a leg of the spider is about to come down on the roof. But then it stops, and then the leg gets longer and it moves to the left, then lands to the ground inches from the hotel. A leg in back that's about to land on it does the same. Morre looks at it puzzled, then looks angry and heads back inside.]
Loud: WHY GO INSIDE OF ALL PLACES?
[Fade to the back of the hotel as the Histerians stare at the spider, puzzled themselves) Charity: Now that was strange,]
Charity: Actually, it is a spider.
[why didn't it destroy the hotel? Froggo: I know, he obviously knew we were in there, why did he actually pass on the chance to kill us?]
Loud: WE WILL SADLY FIND OUT LATER.
[Father Time: Well, he probably didn't go to all that trouble to build a giant device just to]
Pule: Screw it up.
[kill a small group of people.]
Charity: The Smurfs?
[Loud: So what does he intend to do with it? Harry: I don't know,]
Toast: And I don't want to know!
[but we should head off]
Toast: The Queen of Hearts is here?
[somewhere else before we find out! (They do.]
Charity: We aren't getting married yet.
[Now we see the giant spider causing even more damage.]
Loud: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, GENE. JUST GET KENNETH STARR!
Pule: Yeah.
[It is destroying buildings,]
Pule: No! Not the Wal-Mart store!
[stomping on many more of them,]
Toast: D'oh! And that is a new Toys 'R Us.
[and many people are running away,] in pain, lying down, or all of the above.]
Charity: No, this is all of the above. 1.This 2.Movie 3.Is 4.Stupid.
[It is truly an apocalyptic scene. Gene looks at the panic in satisfaction) Gene: Heh heh, everything's going perfectly,]
Loud: SAID DARTH VADER.
[the entire city is in panic. Now I believe it is time to]
Loud: SAY GOODBYE TO ALL OUR COMPANY!
[increase the panic]
Charity: Didn't you already did?
[by playing a son being overused and scary to complement the destruction and add to the insanity.]
Toast: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves?
[(He puts a cassette tape into the console and stops the spider. Now we hear what the song is: it's "Wannabe"]
Pule: Does he mean Christian Slater?
[by the Spice Girls.]
Toast: Dude, that band is so lame! I am glad Marilyn Manson killed them along with Hanson.
Charity: Yeah.
[Once the public hears it beginning, they go even more crazier and run even faster. However it's no good,]
Pule: Like this movie.
[as the song plays the spider shoots more laser bolts at the ground hurting more people]
Loud: LET'S HOPE BILL MAHER IS DOWN THERE.
Charity: That would be good.
[[don't worry]
Charity: I won't hurt you.
[we don't see any deaths or injuries so I'm not that violent]]
Loud: YEAH, RIGHT.
[It then shoots at a few more buildings.]
Pule: They took out the Lincoln Center! Where is anyone going to get some Lincoln logs?!
Toast: Oh, the Lincoln fun and games! The Lincoln drinks!
Loud: THE RIDES AND THE ATTRACTIONS! YOU PSYCHO!
Charity: You blew it up! (Pause) Say guys, is there really a Lincoln Center?
Toast: Not that I know of.
[Then a laser gun turns to an entire area of building and it writes down on them "G.B Was Here"]
Pule: George Benny?
Charity: George Bush?
Loud: GO BOB?
Toast: Giant Bear?
[We now see the spider is nearing the White House.]
Charity: Which is now being painted pink.
[It then shoots an overhead laser and it lands at the water near the Washington Monument,]
Toast: Not that we care.
[creating a huge wave which lands all over. Gene then stops the song and turns to the White House. The spider walks closer to it) (Cut inside the Oval Office, as Bill]
Toast: Gates?
[and Hilary Clinton]
Pule: That is Hillary, thank you.
[are packing suitcases) Bill: Hey Hilary,]
Loud: (Bill) CAN MONICA LEWINSKY COMES WITH US?
[what do you think I should take with me, my saxophone or my collection of rubber duckies?]
Charity: What on earth would he need with rubber duckies?
[Hilary: For gosh sakes Bill,]
All: Shut Up!
[that giant thing is headed this way, we have little time to escape, and all you can think about is whether to take your saxophone or duckies with you? Bill: Hey, there's only enough time to take one of these, and you know I find these duckies cute,]
Pule: What would he said about Daffy or Donald?
Toast: Probably nothing.
[but you also know how much I love my sax.]
Toast: Dude, I am not going there!
[Hilary: You won't be alive to play it again if you don't get out of here! (We now see the head of the spider stare right behind them through the window,]
Loud: WE GOT A PEEPING SPIDER HERE!
[Gene is staring too through the window of his console. The Clintons finally turn around and see this, and then the mouth of the spider opens and a metal bar]
Charity: Which we will always use.
[comes through the window leaving a huge hole, missing the Clintons and stopping near the wall. After about a second, Gene comes into the room walking on the bar and hops onto the floor) Gene: Well well]
Loud: THERE AREN'T ANY WELLS HERE, GENE.
[if it isn't the first lady]
Pule: Of course, Bill got a lot of women.
[and my favorite impeached president.]
Toast: Dude, I thought Abe's former vice-president is dead.
[Bill: Hey I know you,]
Toast: You're Gene Hackman!
[you're the guy that ran the 24 hour marathon a while back. Gene: Yew, but now I've set my sights to bigger and better ways to get my revenge.]
Loud: KILLING OFF NORM MACDONALD?
[Bill: And do they include terrorizing Washington and killing innocent people?!]
Pule: Just when is Kenneth Starr, Al Gore, and you are innocent?
[Gene: Ah, you noticed. (Grabs Bill) I have a good excuse for this,]
Charity: (Gene) I am an idiot.
[but before you find that out we're going to do one of the two things.]
Pule: Sink or die.
[(Pulls out a piece of paper)]
Toast: Dude, he brought some toilet paper with him?
[One, you sign this contract handing over the entire country to me, or two, I use the spider to blow you eyes out.]
Loud: WOULDN'T GENE SETTLE FOR JUST KILLING HIM?
[Bill: No, I don't wanna be]
Charity: Your lover.
[killed by a giant metal spider!! Gene: So you'll give me the United States then?]
Charity: Don't you want it now?
[Bill: Yes...I mean no! I can't hand over this nation to a madman like you. Gene: Okay, I'll just have to kill you then.]
Toast: Yay!!!!
[Bill: No, don't kill me, I'll do whatever you say,]
Loud: THEN DANCE!
[just don't kill me! Gene: Then sign here, please. Bill: No,]
Pule: Make up your mind, willya?!
[this is a proud country,]
Pule: Best known for the TV series South Park.
[I won't let you ruin that! But then you'd kill me,]
Toast: And Saddam Hussein already did that.
[and I don't want that, but then I have to give you the country, but... Gene: Enough!]
Loud: I WILL HAVE TO KILL YOU NOW!
[I'm pressed for time,]
Charity: Father Time?
[so if you won't decide (a gun comes out of the spider's head and it points to Bill) I'll have to do it for you. Bill: Okay, okay you win,]
Charity: I will go pack my bags.
[I'll sign the paper! (He looks at it for a second) But... Gene: What do you mean but?]
Pule: Pervert!
[Bill: Well, before I can sign these things making them official, I have to have it approved by the Senate and Congress.]
Loud: EXCEPT TED KENNEDY.
[You'll need to get them to approve it before I can sign. Gene: I knew that. This changes nothing, just get all your Senators and Congressmen here and they'll all sign it,]
Charity: Except Ted Kenndy.
[then you can sign too. And get them here in a hurry,]
Toast: Dude, how can a hurry be a bag?
[I want this done at exactly 4:00,]
Pule: Sounds familiar guys?
Charity: Yes, that is when Gene began his terrible 24 hour marathon.
Loud: DARN RIGHT.
[and I need TV cameras so we can air this all over the world.]
Charity: You forcing Bill to turn the states over to you?
[Go! (A scared Bill runs off to do so.]
Loud: I GOT TO GET MY DUCKIES!
[Cut back to the city]
Loud: OF TOWNSVILLE.
[as the Histerians are hiding behind a building, watching many people evacuate their homes.]
Toast: They probably want to see the next KISS tour.
[One family nearby them leaves their home, then they run inside the house and close the door, along with the window drapes) Toast: Uh, could you guys tell me]
Pule: How to get to Sesame Street?
[why we're breaking in a home,]
Charity: We are visiting Grandma.
[I thought we were trying to get out of this city. Harry: We can't, at least not yet. I'm still surprised]
Charity: That Men In Black has a sequel.
[we're not dead, I mean he knew we were in the hotel, he tricked us there himself, so why not get it over with?]
Pule: (interested) Really.
[Whatever the answer is,]
Loud: IT IS NO.
[it can't be good, and whatever he's planning...we may be the only ones who can stop it.]
Toast: Why not the Justice League, dude?
Loud: THEY PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO ENDANGER THE COUNTRY BY HELPING OUT.
Charity: Which explains why none of the other WB toons are there.
[Aka: Us?]
Pule: (Cartman) Whose us? You got a turd in your pocket?
[Oh no, haven't we had enough of this already?]
Charity: Sadly no, if the authors have their way.
[Besides, once President Clinton sees what going on,]
Toast: He will defy it dude.
[he'll send the military in after him and they'll stop him. Harry: Aren't you giving our beloved President]
Loud: LOVE LETTER?
[a bit too much credit? Aka: Well he certainly wouldn't want to end his Presidency]
Loud: ANYWAY.
[on an even lower note than his overhype scandal.]
Pule: What are they talking about?
Others: Don't ask, Pule.
Pule: Okay.
[He'll find some way to kick the spider's metallic butt instead of giving in to whatever Gene wants.]
Toast: Us?
[(Harry turns on a TV nearby and on it, Gene is with Bill Clinton and many assorted Senators and Congressmen,]
Charity: Except Ted Kennedy.
[who are signing a piece of paper) Of course, I could be wrong. Bladder: (V.O) Hello to those who have just tuned in,]
Charity: He can see us?
[in case you haven't already heard, what you are seeing is a dark moment in history.]
Pule: This movie.
[Senators and Congressmen are signing a piece of paper that once they and the President sign, will make]
Loud: THIS MOVIE HARDER TO UNDERSTAND THEN IT ALREADY DID.
[Gene Burrows...oh, the words are hot in my throat...]
Toast: Eat Tums. Those were known to work.
[ruler of the United States! (Everyone gasps in horror)]
Toast: I thought they were in a house.
[Miss Info: Gene Burrows, ruler of the United States, what could be worse?]
Charity: Adam Sandler in women's clothing.
[Pepper: If movies have taught me anything, it's]
Loud: NEVER SEE IT AGAIN.
[that we'll soon find out. (Inside the Oval Office, a Senator signs the paper. Gene looks on in glee) Gene: There, all the Senator and Congressmen have signed the paper.]
Pule: Except Ted Kennedy.
Charity: Okay, we got enough Ted Kennedy jokes for today.
[Now Mr. soon to be no longer President, it is your turn.]
Pule: To die.
[Come on, time is money,]
Loud: WHAT THE HECK? THIS IS A TAKEOVER, NOT BUSINESS!
[and if you don't sign, you won't have much money left.]
Toast: Loud is right. What the heck money has to do with this?
[Bill: All right. (He signs the paper) Gene: Hold it.]
Charity: (Bill) I am holding the pen.
[To make it official,]
Toast: You have it sign it in a clown suit, dude.
[you need to put a period next to your name. (Checks his watch) Put it on right about...now! (He does and a grandfather clock immediately chimes 4 times,]
Loud: WHERE IS THE GRANDMOTHER CLOCK?
[it is now 4:00.]
Pule: Do you know where your kids are?
[Cut back to the gang watching the TV) Bladder: (V.O) Well, now it's official,]
Loud: WE ARE GOING TO WAR WITH IRAQ.
[gulp, it's time for us to hail our new leader, Dr. Gene Burrows.]
All: Hail Gene Burrows!
[Gene: (To the former President and officials) All right gentlemen, I am now your leader. The first thing I order is for you]
Toast: To act like chickens too!
[all to leave now. I don't want anyone around to question me]
Charity: Who wrote the book of love?
Pule: Who killed Kenny and made Kyle call him or her a *******?
Toast: Why's the sky blue?
Loud: WHY ARE YOU AN IDIOT, GENE?
[when I am about to make my first address]
Pule: The White House already has an address, so you can't change it.
[as ruler. (They leave in a big hurry) Gene: All right. Ladies and gentlemen of the country,]
Pule: Lick me.
[don't be sarcastic when I say that if I disturbed you or hurt you in anyway, I am sorry.]
Charity: Yeah right.
[I have only one excuse for my actions,]
Loud: (Gene) I AM A PSYCHOPATH IN A BAD MOVIE!
[but I also have a promise.]
Toast: (Gene) That I will change my name to Tom Cruise.
[I do not intend to keep my position as dictator of the nation, and I would very much like by the time this is over to give the job up and return Washington to normal.]
Charity: Again yeah right.
[But, if I am to do that, you all first must do something for me.]
Toast: Go outside, and say "I have big shoes"!
[Father Time: Uh oh.]
Pule: We're in trouble.
[Miss Info, I think your earlier question is about to be answered. Gene: As you all know, I am the man who earlier aired the infamous 24 hour marathon in an attempt to kill it's two "stars" Loud Kiddington and Miss Information.]
Loud: BUT I AM STILL A STAR, RIGHT?
[And I must make it clear that I still want to do so. But I also want you to finally realize what good it would do,]
Loud: LIKE ME DYING AT THE END.
[that's why I did this. Like before, their annoyance brought about horrible consequences, it drove me to air the marathon, and they caused you all to go crazy from it.]
Pule: Right now, we are trying not to go crazy from this movie.
[Now, they have drove me to]
Toast: The movies.
[terrorize our nation's capital and take over the county. So, what I want is the same thing I asked for last time,]
Charity: A butt-whooping.
[I want you all to kill them. Harry: Nostalgic, isn't he? Sammy: And completely sick and repetitive,]
Charity: Not to mention a dope.
[he tries this before,]
Pule: Wait, he is taking over the nation now.
Toast: He meant trying to ask the country to kill us, remember?
Pule: Oh yeah.
[why would it work now? Gene: I have come here to make you all a deal.]
Loud: (Gene) I WILL COMMIT SUICIDE AND YOU ALL CAN WATCH FOR FREE.
[I want to form an army, an army of citizens, formed by the residents of Washington D.C.]
Loud: AND CANADA.
[And it has one purpose, to find]
Toast: A better script for this movie.
[Loud and Miss Info, as well as someone else that stopped me previously, Dr. Harry Norman. Here's a picture. (He pulls out a picture of Harry)]
Charity: That is a picture of your mom, Gene!
[Because he helped them, he is a target, and he must be killed too. What I want is for this army to find those three, capture them, bring them to the White House, and then]
Pule: (Gene) Let them kill me.
[I will kill them. If that is accomplished, I will turn back control of the country back to Clinton and company,]
Toast: Who will mess up the country further.
[and leave peacefully.]
Charity: How he intended on doing that? Go to Mexico?
[You'll never be bothered by me again and I will do no more damage,]
Pule: Wrong!
[I will turn everything back to normal in an instant if you do that.]
Loud: HOW WOULD HE DO THAT? MAGIC?
[But, if you don't, I will]
Loud: (Gene) GO INSANE. OH WAIT, I AM ALREADY INSANE.
[keep my job...and I will turn the country into a communist society,]
Toast: With Joseph Stalin, dude.
[as well as singlehandedly turn the country into the living embodiment of our darkest nightmares,]
Pule: Mine is going to school naked.
Charity: Gross!
Pule: Well, it is!
[people enslaved, cities ravaged,]
Charity: I hope he gets Denver.
[everyone suffering, you get the idea.]
All: No.
[W.O.W: Well Sammy,]
Toast: Time to meet the reaper, dude.
[that answers your question as well.]
Charity: Of what came first, the chicken or the egg?
[Sammy: If I wasn't so shocked and terrified]
Loud: NOT TO MENTION PATHLETIC AND STUPID.
[about what is going to happen now, I'd respond. Loud: That makes two of us.]
Pule: There are two Louds now?
[Gene: And one more thing.]
Pule: I made all that up, you dopes.
[Fittingly...you have only 24 hours]
Toast: And $100 dollars.
[to capture them. If they are now found, captured, and brought to me and killed by 4 PM tomorrow, the United States becomes a living Hades.]
Loud: THE LORD OF THE GREEK UNDERWORLD?
[Now, I want the army that will prevent this to]
Charity: (Gene) Kill me right now.
[be formed quickly, so here's another offer.]
Loud: YOU GET 25% OFF OF MY NEXT DEAL!
[Anyone in this city who wants to be part of the army]
Charity: Get over it.
[must head to the front of the Capital Building in 20 minutes, where I will put it together and prepare it for it's task. If anyone wants to]
Pule: Get out of this movie.
[join gets here after 4:20, tough break,]
Toast: For Carrot Top.
[you can't. (We fade inside another hotel room in the Tartargate where someone is watching Gene's speech on TV)]
Charity: So is this Martin Luther King Day already?
[Gene: So, anyone who wants to help save the country,]
Pule: Like us, except I wasn't among them at the time.
[come to the Capital Building in 20...make that 29 minutes. Until then,]
Toast: Good fight, good night.
[fare thee well. (Gene's image goes off the TV.]
Loud: GOOD, I HAVE ENOUGH OF HIM ALREADY.
[Now we see who the person is;]
Pule: I hope it isn't Adam Sandler.
[it's Mr. Morre again)]
Loud: IT ISN'T, BUT IT IS SOMEONE WORSE AS GENE.
[Morre: Hmm, an army that's purpose is to find and kill]
Charity: Osama Bin Laden.
[Loud and Miss Info. (Laughs) Now that's cause I want to be part of. (He leaves him room. Cut back to the gang, they're all stunned)]
Toast: Dude, how can we stop Gene if we can't move?
[Harry: Well, Gene was certainly right]
Loud: (Harry) I DO HAVE FEET OF A DANCER.
[when he said that my statement of him staying in jail forever would be wrong. Of course now I know I was talking to a hologram.]
Pule: Christian Slater?
[Miss Info: Shouldn't we be leaving the cit as fast as we possibility can?]
Charity: Like Speedy Gonzales.
[Once that army is formed in half]
Toast: Dude, a half army couldn't be that threatening.
[an hour the whole town will be after us. Loud: We can't leave,]
Loud: I DIDN'T TOLD CHARITY I LOVE HER YET. D'OH!
[for one thing it's hard to go through an entire city]
Charity: Of Townsville.
[and not have]
Pule: A souvenir.
[someone notice who we care, for another more important thing,]
Toast: That would make the movie lamer than it already is!
[if we leave, they can't kill us,]
Toast: I thought he wanted to kill Loud, Miss Info, and Harry, not the rest of us!
[and then Gene takes over the country and turns it into a graveyard for democracy.]
Pule: I hope he gets Kenneth Starr and Ted Kennedy first.
[Charity: Well then, what do we do? Harry: All right, first we have to find some way to overthrow Gene without killing ourselves.]
Charity: Sadly, Karris is one of them.
[But first I want to get a good look at this army, because we'll probably be seeing a lot of it in the next 24 hours.]
Loud: I WILL JUGGLE!
[Sigh, we truly have become enemies of the state. Pepper: Oh, I loved Will Smith in that movie!]
Charity: Wasn't Gene Hackman in that movie also?
Toast: Hmmm....
[Cho-Cho: How can you think of movies at a time like this?]
Pule: Six o'clock?
[Pepper: Hey, we should try to think positive in the brief time that we can. Lucky Bob: I know, that's why I'm thinking about my favorite thing.]
Loud: CHO-CHO.
[It begins with a B.]
Loud: BEES?
Toast: Buttercup?
Charity: Beetle Bailey?
Pule: Bill Murray?
[Sammy: Let me guess, chocolate? Lucky Bob: How'd you know? Sammy: Call it a lucky guess coupled with a good memory.]
Charity: (Sammy) And for the fact that I was in the episode that you said it in.
[(Cut to outside of the Capital building, as a very large group of people are huddled in front. Mr. Morre is just entering the crowd.]
Loud: AND IS THROWN OUT BECAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE A TICKET. HEH, HEH, HEH.
[Just then, Gene comes out of the building and walks down the stairs)]
Pule: How can nobody shoot him?
Toast: Because he have a robo-spider?
Pule: Good point, Toast.
[Gene: Are we on yet?]
Toast: No.
[Good. Ladies and gentlemen,]
Pule: Now introducing the Beatles!
[I thank you all for volunteering to join this army, the army that shall save the country from my tyrannical rule.]
Loud: GIMME A BREAK!
[But first, I have to get to know all of you and know your motives.]
Charity: As if.
[Now, answer this question truthfully: How many of you]
Toast: Been to Mars?
[want to kill Loud, Miss Info, and Harry because they really want them dead and not just because they want me out of office.]
Loud: NONE OF US, I GUESS.
[(Almost every hand goes up) Gene: No no, answer _truthfully_]
Pule: Do I sound like Gene Hackman?
[for heavens sake, I won't do anything if you say no.]
Toast: Except kill you, dudes.
[(Many hands go down) Come on, I want to see honest people in this group.]
Charity: You're not getting any, Gene.
[(All but one hand goes down,]
Charity: Guess who it is.
[Gene doesn't notice)]
Toast: And I don't care, dude.
[So, none of you want to kill them because they must die? I'm a tiny bit sad,]
All: (laughing)
[but not angry, because the main reason I've done all that I've did is because]
Loud: (Gene) I AM AN IDIOT WHO DOESN'T GIVE A CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT MYSELF.
[I want the world to realize that they have to be punished for their deeds.]
Pule: The Taliban?
[Doesn't anyone want them dead because of that? Morre: (V.O) If you'll look over here and come over towards me, you'll have the answer.]
Pule: To the Jigsaw puzzle.
[Gene: Who said that?]
Charity: They aren't in this story, Gene.
Loud: Okay, Charity. Now is not the time for a Who joke.
[(Finally notices Morre's hand up) You, guy with the hand up,]
Toast: Put it down!
[did you say that?]
Pule: (Morre) No, I didn't say that, I said something else!
[Morre: Yes, Mr. Burrows.]
Loud: (Gene) THAT IS DR. BURROWS!
[Gene: Well everyone, clear out of the way so I can]
Pule: Kill him.
[talk to this guy. (Everyone clears away, making a path for Gene to walk through towards Morre. He stops next to him) So, you are the only here who really truly wants them dead, right? Morre: That's right. Gene: And what is your name,]
Toast: Little girl, what's your name?
[my potential new friend? Morre: My name is Mr. Morre, Mr. Burrows.]
Charity: What is this? An enactment of one of Quentin Tarantino's movies?
[Gene: Did you say Mr. Lorre, like the actor? I thought he was dead.]
Pule: So did we. Strange we didn't put him in Histeria!
Loud: WE ONLY SHOW HISTORY, NOT MOVIES PULE.
[(Morre grabs Gene) Morre: Listen, I don't care]
Loud: FOR THE MOVIE BATMAN & ROBIN!
[if you are the ruler of the U.S, no one gets away with calling me by that name!]
Charity: Yeah, imagine the murders Morre got away with.
[Gene: Sorry.]
Toast: Dude, we wants to play that game now?
[(He lets go) So, just why do you want them dead? Morre: Well, I suggest you take me upstairs]
Toast: Unfortunately for him, he's downstairs now, if you know what I mean.
Others: We do.
[to address the entire army]
Charity: He already got an address!
[so I can tell them, I think it will motivate them to kill them as much as you and I do. And I think you should air it worldwide so those who aren't here will feel the same.]
All: Eeww!!!
[Gene: We're worldwide already,]
Pule: You commie.
[so go ahead,]
Loud: MAKE MY DAY.
[tell them, I look forward to hearing it. Morre: Very well. (He climbs up the steps of the building to address the army) Well, I guess the stepping stones]
Loud: BAD JOKE ALERT.
[of my story started at a very young age. Like you Mr. Burrows, everyone me mistook for that Lorre guy]
Toast: Dude, I thought Gene's last name is Burrows.
Charity: It is. Morre is talking about Gene's mistake.
Toast: Oh yeah.
[because my last name is similar and I sound a bit like him too. Worse yet,]
Pule: (Morre) I am in this movie.
[I also suffered through an even worse first name.]
Charity: Carrot?
[Gene: And what is your first name? Morre: My first name is...Vincent. Gene: Oh, you mean like Vincent Pri (he's interrupted by Morre's angry glance)]
Loud: PRICE?
[never mind. Morre: Thank you,]
Charity: You're not welcome.
[but you are right. I had to live through the suffering of being compared to]
Toast: Adam Sandler and Carrot Top.
[Vincent Price and Peter Lorre, I was compared to Price mainly because]
Pule: (Morre) I had nothing else better to do.
[him and Lorre are both creepy, impersonable and very famous actors.]
Toast: Like Bugs Bunny.
[Now how can anyone live through life with that?!]
Loud: THINK ABOUT IT, WON'T YOU?
[So, I decided the only way to get rid of that torment was to get]
Pule: A haircut and changed that dumb name.
[an important job and do things there that would overshadow my namesakes. Gene: Let me guess,]
Charity: You will die at the end of the movie.
[you decided to be a scientist?]
Loud: LIKE BILL NYE.
[Well, I can't blame you,]
Charity: I can.
[science is a wonderful field and you can do great things there for the world.]
Pule: Plus, it gets you into parties.
[Morre: Actually that was my second opinion, but instead I decided to be another type of doctor,]
Toast: A mad doctor.
[the medical type. Saving people's lives would easily gain more appreciation than having names after famous actors.]
Toast: Yeah, look how it was done for us.
[And I've always wanted to have a job in which I could make a difference in someone's life.]
Loud: LIKE BRUCE WILLIS.
[So I enrolled in medical school. For the next three years I did pretty well, but my becoming a doctor all depended on passing]
Pule: Out at the sight of blood.
[my final exam. The college I was in was rescheduled to close on Thanksgiving,]
Charity: So that the teachers would fatten themselves up.
[so they moved the exam to mid November of last year. Gene: You mean mid November of 1999?!]
Toast: (Sarcastic) No, I mean mid August. Wake up!
[Oh no, I think we can all guess what date the exam was on!]
Pule: I thought Morre was married.
[Morre: Yes, but first let me set up the situation.]
All: No!
[(Cut to flashback mode again as Morre enters his house) The exam was on November 12'th at 9:00 PM.]
Loud: DO YOU KNOW WHERE...
Charity: Okay, we get the joke Loud.
[I went home at about 3:30 the day before to get a lot of studying done because I wanted this so badly.]
Charity: You have no idea.
[But as you and everyone else knows,]
Toast: My name is Vincent Lorre.
[something disturbing came on a half hour later that day.]
Pule: He saw one of Adam Sandler's movies? I am so sorry.
[(The clock strikes 4]
Loud: (4) OUCH!
[and then the previously off TV turns on, beginning the marathon)]
Loud: AND GO!
[Morre: There was no possibly was I couldn't be driven mad from it,]
Charity: Too late.
[with my redemption for my name so close, but now so far away. I tried to study for the first half hour hoping it wouldn't be that bad,]
Pule: It is.
[but by the time I realized it was, you locked all the doors.]
Toast: Except for Barney's.
[I spent the next 24 hours trying in vain to study, but not succeeding. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate,]
Toast: (Morre) I couldn't commit suicide either, dude.
[I couldn't do anything but go insane. (The Morre from the past]
Loud: BATTLES THE MORRE OF THE FUTURE!
[screams endlessly) Gene: (Nervous)]
Charity: He should be.
[But, you did realize it wasn't my fault, it was theirs, right? Morre: If I thought it was your fault,]
Pule: This movie would have been interesting by now.
[I would have killed you by now.]
All: D'oh!
Toast: Nope, we aren't enough with Chapter 2, and we still have Chapters 3-4 to view.
Loud: SOMEONE SHOOTS ME NOW.
Charity: No! I won't let you commit suicide because of this!
Pule: Relax, Charity. It is only an expression.
Charity: I hope so.
[Sammy: Um, I think it's time to end this sightseeing and RUN AWAY!!]
Toast: Dude, finally Sammy got something right.
[Harry: Quick, run out the back, he'll see us otherwise! (They run away to the back of the hotel. Nearby, the trenchcoated man falls to the floor]
Charity: Hopefully dead.
[from the rumbling, and his hat falls off. We now see who he is; it's Mr. Morre from the park/hotel.]
Pule: Hey, we were right earlier. All right!
[He runs outside and sees a leg of the spider is about to come down on the roof. But then it stops, and then the leg gets longer and it moves to the left, then lands to the ground inches from the hotel. A leg in back that's about to land on it does the same. Morre looks at it puzzled, then looks angry and heads back inside.]
Loud: WHY GO INSIDE OF ALL PLACES?
[Fade to the back of the hotel as the Histerians stare at the spider, puzzled themselves) Charity: Now that was strange,]
Charity: Actually, it is a spider.
[why didn't it destroy the hotel? Froggo: I know, he obviously knew we were in there, why did he actually pass on the chance to kill us?]
Loud: WE WILL SADLY FIND OUT LATER.
[Father Time: Well, he probably didn't go to all that trouble to build a giant device just to]
Pule: Screw it up.
[kill a small group of people.]
Charity: The Smurfs?
[Loud: So what does he intend to do with it? Harry: I don't know,]
Toast: And I don't want to know!
[but we should head off]
Toast: The Queen of Hearts is here?
[somewhere else before we find out! (They do.]
Charity: We aren't getting married yet.
[Now we see the giant spider causing even more damage.]
Loud: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, GENE. JUST GET KENNETH STARR!
Pule: Yeah.
[It is destroying buildings,]
Pule: No! Not the Wal-Mart store!
[stomping on many more of them,]
Toast: D'oh! And that is a new Toys 'R Us.
[and many people are running away,] in pain, lying down, or all of the above.]
Charity: No, this is all of the above. 1.This 2.Movie 3.Is 4.Stupid.
[It is truly an apocalyptic scene. Gene looks at the panic in satisfaction) Gene: Heh heh, everything's going perfectly,]
Loud: SAID DARTH VADER.
[the entire city is in panic. Now I believe it is time to]
Loud: SAY GOODBYE TO ALL OUR COMPANY!
[increase the panic]
Charity: Didn't you already did?
[by playing a son being overused and scary to complement the destruction and add to the insanity.]
Toast: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves?
[(He puts a cassette tape into the console and stops the spider. Now we hear what the song is: it's "Wannabe"]
Pule: Does he mean Christian Slater?
[by the Spice Girls.]
Toast: Dude, that band is so lame! I am glad Marilyn Manson killed them along with Hanson.
Charity: Yeah.
[Once the public hears it beginning, they go even more crazier and run even faster. However it's no good,]
Pule: Like this movie.
[as the song plays the spider shoots more laser bolts at the ground hurting more people]
Loud: LET'S HOPE BILL MAHER IS DOWN THERE.
Charity: That would be good.
[[don't worry]
Charity: I won't hurt you.
[we don't see any deaths or injuries so I'm not that violent]]
Loud: YEAH, RIGHT.
[It then shoots at a few more buildings.]
Pule: They took out the Lincoln Center! Where is anyone going to get some Lincoln logs?!
Toast: Oh, the Lincoln fun and games! The Lincoln drinks!
Loud: THE RIDES AND THE ATTRACTIONS! YOU PSYCHO!
Charity: You blew it up! (Pause) Say guys, is there really a Lincoln Center?
Toast: Not that I know of.
[Then a laser gun turns to an entire area of building and it writes down on them "G.B Was Here"]
Pule: George Benny?
Charity: George Bush?
Loud: GO BOB?
Toast: Giant Bear?
[We now see the spider is nearing the White House.]
Charity: Which is now being painted pink.
[It then shoots an overhead laser and it lands at the water near the Washington Monument,]
Toast: Not that we care.
[creating a huge wave which lands all over. Gene then stops the song and turns to the White House. The spider walks closer to it) (Cut inside the Oval Office, as Bill]
Toast: Gates?
[and Hilary Clinton]
Pule: That is Hillary, thank you.
[are packing suitcases) Bill: Hey Hilary,]
Loud: (Bill) CAN MONICA LEWINSKY COMES WITH US?
[what do you think I should take with me, my saxophone or my collection of rubber duckies?]
Charity: What on earth would he need with rubber duckies?
[Hilary: For gosh sakes Bill,]
All: Shut Up!
[that giant thing is headed this way, we have little time to escape, and all you can think about is whether to take your saxophone or duckies with you? Bill: Hey, there's only enough time to take one of these, and you know I find these duckies cute,]
Pule: What would he said about Daffy or Donald?
Toast: Probably nothing.
[but you also know how much I love my sax.]
Toast: Dude, I am not going there!
[Hilary: You won't be alive to play it again if you don't get out of here! (We now see the head of the spider stare right behind them through the window,]
Loud: WE GOT A PEEPING SPIDER HERE!
[Gene is staring too through the window of his console. The Clintons finally turn around and see this, and then the mouth of the spider opens and a metal bar]
Charity: Which we will always use.
[comes through the window leaving a huge hole, missing the Clintons and stopping near the wall. After about a second, Gene comes into the room walking on the bar and hops onto the floor) Gene: Well well]
Loud: THERE AREN'T ANY WELLS HERE, GENE.
[if it isn't the first lady]
Pule: Of course, Bill got a lot of women.
[and my favorite impeached president.]
Toast: Dude, I thought Abe's former vice-president is dead.
[Bill: Hey I know you,]
Toast: You're Gene Hackman!
[you're the guy that ran the 24 hour marathon a while back. Gene: Yew, but now I've set my sights to bigger and better ways to get my revenge.]
Loud: KILLING OFF NORM MACDONALD?
[Bill: And do they include terrorizing Washington and killing innocent people?!]
Pule: Just when is Kenneth Starr, Al Gore, and you are innocent?
[Gene: Ah, you noticed. (Grabs Bill) I have a good excuse for this,]
Charity: (Gene) I am an idiot.
[but before you find that out we're going to do one of the two things.]
Pule: Sink or die.
[(Pulls out a piece of paper)]
Toast: Dude, he brought some toilet paper with him?
[One, you sign this contract handing over the entire country to me, or two, I use the spider to blow you eyes out.]
Loud: WOULDN'T GENE SETTLE FOR JUST KILLING HIM?
[Bill: No, I don't wanna be]
Charity: Your lover.
[killed by a giant metal spider!! Gene: So you'll give me the United States then?]
Charity: Don't you want it now?
[Bill: Yes...I mean no! I can't hand over this nation to a madman like you. Gene: Okay, I'll just have to kill you then.]
Toast: Yay!!!!
[Bill: No, don't kill me, I'll do whatever you say,]
Loud: THEN DANCE!
[just don't kill me! Gene: Then sign here, please. Bill: No,]
Pule: Make up your mind, willya?!
[this is a proud country,]
Pule: Best known for the TV series South Park.
[I won't let you ruin that! But then you'd kill me,]
Toast: And Saddam Hussein already did that.
[and I don't want that, but then I have to give you the country, but... Gene: Enough!]
Loud: I WILL HAVE TO KILL YOU NOW!
[I'm pressed for time,]
Charity: Father Time?
[so if you won't decide (a gun comes out of the spider's head and it points to Bill) I'll have to do it for you. Bill: Okay, okay you win,]
Charity: I will go pack my bags.
[I'll sign the paper! (He looks at it for a second) But... Gene: What do you mean but?]
Pule: Pervert!
[Bill: Well, before I can sign these things making them official, I have to have it approved by the Senate and Congress.]
Loud: EXCEPT TED KENNEDY.
[You'll need to get them to approve it before I can sign. Gene: I knew that. This changes nothing, just get all your Senators and Congressmen here and they'll all sign it,]
Charity: Except Ted Kenndy.
[then you can sign too. And get them here in a hurry,]
Toast: Dude, how can a hurry be a bag?
[I want this done at exactly 4:00,]
Pule: Sounds familiar guys?
Charity: Yes, that is when Gene began his terrible 24 hour marathon.
Loud: DARN RIGHT.
[and I need TV cameras so we can air this all over the world.]
Charity: You forcing Bill to turn the states over to you?
[Go! (A scared Bill runs off to do so.]
Loud: I GOT TO GET MY DUCKIES!
[Cut back to the city]
Loud: OF TOWNSVILLE.
[as the Histerians are hiding behind a building, watching many people evacuate their homes.]
Toast: They probably want to see the next KISS tour.
[One family nearby them leaves their home, then they run inside the house and close the door, along with the window drapes) Toast: Uh, could you guys tell me]
Pule: How to get to Sesame Street?
[why we're breaking in a home,]
Charity: We are visiting Grandma.
[I thought we were trying to get out of this city. Harry: We can't, at least not yet. I'm still surprised]
Charity: That Men In Black has a sequel.
[we're not dead, I mean he knew we were in the hotel, he tricked us there himself, so why not get it over with?]
Pule: (interested) Really.
[Whatever the answer is,]
Loud: IT IS NO.
[it can't be good, and whatever he's planning...we may be the only ones who can stop it.]
Toast: Why not the Justice League, dude?
Loud: THEY PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO ENDANGER THE COUNTRY BY HELPING OUT.
Charity: Which explains why none of the other WB toons are there.
[Aka: Us?]
Pule: (Cartman) Whose us? You got a turd in your pocket?
[Oh no, haven't we had enough of this already?]
Charity: Sadly no, if the authors have their way.
[Besides, once President Clinton sees what going on,]
Toast: He will defy it dude.
[he'll send the military in after him and they'll stop him. Harry: Aren't you giving our beloved President]
Loud: LOVE LETTER?
[a bit too much credit? Aka: Well he certainly wouldn't want to end his Presidency]
Loud: ANYWAY.
[on an even lower note than his overhype scandal.]
Pule: What are they talking about?
Others: Don't ask, Pule.
Pule: Okay.
[He'll find some way to kick the spider's metallic butt instead of giving in to whatever Gene wants.]
Toast: Us?
[(Harry turns on a TV nearby and on it, Gene is with Bill Clinton and many assorted Senators and Congressmen,]
Charity: Except Ted Kennedy.
[who are signing a piece of paper) Of course, I could be wrong. Bladder: (V.O) Hello to those who have just tuned in,]
Charity: He can see us?
[in case you haven't already heard, what you are seeing is a dark moment in history.]
Pule: This movie.
[Senators and Congressmen are signing a piece of paper that once they and the President sign, will make]
Loud: THIS MOVIE HARDER TO UNDERSTAND THEN IT ALREADY DID.
[Gene Burrows...oh, the words are hot in my throat...]
Toast: Eat Tums. Those were known to work.
[ruler of the United States! (Everyone gasps in horror)]
Toast: I thought they were in a house.
[Miss Info: Gene Burrows, ruler of the United States, what could be worse?]
Charity: Adam Sandler in women's clothing.
[Pepper: If movies have taught me anything, it's]
Loud: NEVER SEE IT AGAIN.
[that we'll soon find out. (Inside the Oval Office, a Senator signs the paper. Gene looks on in glee) Gene: There, all the Senator and Congressmen have signed the paper.]
Pule: Except Ted Kennedy.
Charity: Okay, we got enough Ted Kennedy jokes for today.
[Now Mr. soon to be no longer President, it is your turn.]
Pule: To die.
[Come on, time is money,]
Loud: WHAT THE HECK? THIS IS A TAKEOVER, NOT BUSINESS!
[and if you don't sign, you won't have much money left.]
Toast: Loud is right. What the heck money has to do with this?
[Bill: All right. (He signs the paper) Gene: Hold it.]
Charity: (Bill) I am holding the pen.
[To make it official,]
Toast: You have it sign it in a clown suit, dude.
[you need to put a period next to your name. (Checks his watch) Put it on right about...now! (He does and a grandfather clock immediately chimes 4 times,]
Loud: WHERE IS THE GRANDMOTHER CLOCK?
[it is now 4:00.]
Pule: Do you know where your kids are?
[Cut back to the gang watching the TV) Bladder: (V.O) Well, now it's official,]
Loud: WE ARE GOING TO WAR WITH IRAQ.
[gulp, it's time for us to hail our new leader, Dr. Gene Burrows.]
All: Hail Gene Burrows!
[Gene: (To the former President and officials) All right gentlemen, I am now your leader. The first thing I order is for you]
Toast: To act like chickens too!
[all to leave now. I don't want anyone around to question me]
Charity: Who wrote the book of love?
Pule: Who killed Kenny and made Kyle call him or her a *******?
Toast: Why's the sky blue?
Loud: WHY ARE YOU AN IDIOT, GENE?
[when I am about to make my first address]
Pule: The White House already has an address, so you can't change it.
[as ruler. (They leave in a big hurry) Gene: All right. Ladies and gentlemen of the country,]
Pule: Lick me.
[don't be sarcastic when I say that if I disturbed you or hurt you in anyway, I am sorry.]
Charity: Yeah right.
[I have only one excuse for my actions,]
Loud: (Gene) I AM A PSYCHOPATH IN A BAD MOVIE!
[but I also have a promise.]
Toast: (Gene) That I will change my name to Tom Cruise.
[I do not intend to keep my position as dictator of the nation, and I would very much like by the time this is over to give the job up and return Washington to normal.]
Charity: Again yeah right.
[But, if I am to do that, you all first must do something for me.]
Toast: Go outside, and say "I have big shoes"!
[Father Time: Uh oh.]
Pule: We're in trouble.
[Miss Info, I think your earlier question is about to be answered. Gene: As you all know, I am the man who earlier aired the infamous 24 hour marathon in an attempt to kill it's two "stars" Loud Kiddington and Miss Information.]
Loud: BUT I AM STILL A STAR, RIGHT?
[And I must make it clear that I still want to do so. But I also want you to finally realize what good it would do,]
Loud: LIKE ME DYING AT THE END.
[that's why I did this. Like before, their annoyance brought about horrible consequences, it drove me to air the marathon, and they caused you all to go crazy from it.]
Pule: Right now, we are trying not to go crazy from this movie.
[Now, they have drove me to]
Toast: The movies.
[terrorize our nation's capital and take over the county. So, what I want is the same thing I asked for last time,]
Charity: A butt-whooping.
[I want you all to kill them. Harry: Nostalgic, isn't he? Sammy: And completely sick and repetitive,]
Charity: Not to mention a dope.
[he tries this before,]
Pule: Wait, he is taking over the nation now.
Toast: He meant trying to ask the country to kill us, remember?
Pule: Oh yeah.
[why would it work now? Gene: I have come here to make you all a deal.]
Loud: (Gene) I WILL COMMIT SUICIDE AND YOU ALL CAN WATCH FOR FREE.
[I want to form an army, an army of citizens, formed by the residents of Washington D.C.]
Loud: AND CANADA.
[And it has one purpose, to find]
Toast: A better script for this movie.
[Loud and Miss Info, as well as someone else that stopped me previously, Dr. Harry Norman. Here's a picture. (He pulls out a picture of Harry)]
Charity: That is a picture of your mom, Gene!
[Because he helped them, he is a target, and he must be killed too. What I want is for this army to find those three, capture them, bring them to the White House, and then]
Pule: (Gene) Let them kill me.
[I will kill them. If that is accomplished, I will turn back control of the country back to Clinton and company,]
Toast: Who will mess up the country further.
[and leave peacefully.]
Charity: How he intended on doing that? Go to Mexico?
[You'll never be bothered by me again and I will do no more damage,]
Pule: Wrong!
[I will turn everything back to normal in an instant if you do that.]
Loud: HOW WOULD HE DO THAT? MAGIC?
[But, if you don't, I will]
Loud: (Gene) GO INSANE. OH WAIT, I AM ALREADY INSANE.
[keep my job...and I will turn the country into a communist society,]
Toast: With Joseph Stalin, dude.
[as well as singlehandedly turn the country into the living embodiment of our darkest nightmares,]
Pule: Mine is going to school naked.
Charity: Gross!
Pule: Well, it is!
[people enslaved, cities ravaged,]
Charity: I hope he gets Denver.
[everyone suffering, you get the idea.]
All: No.
[W.O.W: Well Sammy,]
Toast: Time to meet the reaper, dude.
[that answers your question as well.]
Charity: Of what came first, the chicken or the egg?
[Sammy: If I wasn't so shocked and terrified]
Loud: NOT TO MENTION PATHLETIC AND STUPID.
[about what is going to happen now, I'd respond. Loud: That makes two of us.]
Pule: There are two Louds now?
[Gene: And one more thing.]
Pule: I made all that up, you dopes.
[Fittingly...you have only 24 hours]
Toast: And $100 dollars.
[to capture them. If they are now found, captured, and brought to me and killed by 4 PM tomorrow, the United States becomes a living Hades.]
Loud: THE LORD OF THE GREEK UNDERWORLD?
[Now, I want the army that will prevent this to]
Charity: (Gene) Kill me right now.
[be formed quickly, so here's another offer.]
Loud: YOU GET 25% OFF OF MY NEXT DEAL!
[Anyone in this city who wants to be part of the army]
Charity: Get over it.
[must head to the front of the Capital Building in 20 minutes, where I will put it together and prepare it for it's task. If anyone wants to]
Pule: Get out of this movie.
[join gets here after 4:20, tough break,]
Toast: For Carrot Top.
[you can't. (We fade inside another hotel room in the Tartargate where someone is watching Gene's speech on TV)]
Charity: So is this Martin Luther King Day already?
[Gene: So, anyone who wants to help save the country,]
Pule: Like us, except I wasn't among them at the time.
[come to the Capital Building in 20...make that 29 minutes. Until then,]
Toast: Good fight, good night.
[fare thee well. (Gene's image goes off the TV.]
Loud: GOOD, I HAVE ENOUGH OF HIM ALREADY.
[Now we see who the person is;]
Pule: I hope it isn't Adam Sandler.
[it's Mr. Morre again)]
Loud: IT ISN'T, BUT IT IS SOMEONE WORSE AS GENE.
[Morre: Hmm, an army that's purpose is to find and kill]
Charity: Osama Bin Laden.
[Loud and Miss Info. (Laughs) Now that's cause I want to be part of. (He leaves him room. Cut back to the gang, they're all stunned)]
Toast: Dude, how can we stop Gene if we can't move?
[Harry: Well, Gene was certainly right]
Loud: (Harry) I DO HAVE FEET OF A DANCER.
[when he said that my statement of him staying in jail forever would be wrong. Of course now I know I was talking to a hologram.]
Pule: Christian Slater?
[Miss Info: Shouldn't we be leaving the cit as fast as we possibility can?]
Charity: Like Speedy Gonzales.
[Once that army is formed in half]
Toast: Dude, a half army couldn't be that threatening.
[an hour the whole town will be after us. Loud: We can't leave,]
Loud: I DIDN'T TOLD CHARITY I LOVE HER YET. D'OH!
[for one thing it's hard to go through an entire city]
Charity: Of Townsville.
[and not have]
Pule: A souvenir.
[someone notice who we care, for another more important thing,]
Toast: That would make the movie lamer than it already is!
[if we leave, they can't kill us,]
Toast: I thought he wanted to kill Loud, Miss Info, and Harry, not the rest of us!
[and then Gene takes over the country and turns it into a graveyard for democracy.]
Pule: I hope he gets Kenneth Starr and Ted Kennedy first.
[Charity: Well then, what do we do? Harry: All right, first we have to find some way to overthrow Gene without killing ourselves.]
Charity: Sadly, Karris is one of them.
[But first I want to get a good look at this army, because we'll probably be seeing a lot of it in the next 24 hours.]
Loud: I WILL JUGGLE!
[Sigh, we truly have become enemies of the state. Pepper: Oh, I loved Will Smith in that movie!]
Charity: Wasn't Gene Hackman in that movie also?
Toast: Hmmm....
[Cho-Cho: How can you think of movies at a time like this?]
Pule: Six o'clock?
[Pepper: Hey, we should try to think positive in the brief time that we can. Lucky Bob: I know, that's why I'm thinking about my favorite thing.]
Loud: CHO-CHO.
[It begins with a B.]
Loud: BEES?
Toast: Buttercup?
Charity: Beetle Bailey?
Pule: Bill Murray?
[Sammy: Let me guess, chocolate? Lucky Bob: How'd you know? Sammy: Call it a lucky guess coupled with a good memory.]
Charity: (Sammy) And for the fact that I was in the episode that you said it in.
[(Cut to outside of the Capital building, as a very large group of people are huddled in front. Mr. Morre is just entering the crowd.]
Loud: AND IS THROWN OUT BECAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE A TICKET. HEH, HEH, HEH.
[Just then, Gene comes out of the building and walks down the stairs)]
Pule: How can nobody shoot him?
Toast: Because he have a robo-spider?
Pule: Good point, Toast.
[Gene: Are we on yet?]
Toast: No.
[Good. Ladies and gentlemen,]
Pule: Now introducing the Beatles!
[I thank you all for volunteering to join this army, the army that shall save the country from my tyrannical rule.]
Loud: GIMME A BREAK!
[But first, I have to get to know all of you and know your motives.]
Charity: As if.
[Now, answer this question truthfully: How many of you]
Toast: Been to Mars?
[want to kill Loud, Miss Info, and Harry because they really want them dead and not just because they want me out of office.]
Loud: NONE OF US, I GUESS.
[(Almost every hand goes up) Gene: No no, answer _truthfully_]
Pule: Do I sound like Gene Hackman?
[for heavens sake, I won't do anything if you say no.]
Toast: Except kill you, dudes.
[(Many hands go down) Come on, I want to see honest people in this group.]
Charity: You're not getting any, Gene.
[(All but one hand goes down,]
Charity: Guess who it is.
[Gene doesn't notice)]
Toast: And I don't care, dude.
[So, none of you want to kill them because they must die? I'm a tiny bit sad,]
All: (laughing)
[but not angry, because the main reason I've done all that I've did is because]
Loud: (Gene) I AM AN IDIOT WHO DOESN'T GIVE A CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT MYSELF.
[I want the world to realize that they have to be punished for their deeds.]
Pule: The Taliban?
[Doesn't anyone want them dead because of that? Morre: (V.O) If you'll look over here and come over towards me, you'll have the answer.]
Pule: To the Jigsaw puzzle.
[Gene: Who said that?]
Charity: They aren't in this story, Gene.
Loud: Okay, Charity. Now is not the time for a Who joke.
[(Finally notices Morre's hand up) You, guy with the hand up,]
Toast: Put it down!
[did you say that?]
Pule: (Morre) No, I didn't say that, I said something else!
[Morre: Yes, Mr. Burrows.]
Loud: (Gene) THAT IS DR. BURROWS!
[Gene: Well everyone, clear out of the way so I can]
Pule: Kill him.
[talk to this guy. (Everyone clears away, making a path for Gene to walk through towards Morre. He stops next to him) So, you are the only here who really truly wants them dead, right? Morre: That's right. Gene: And what is your name,]
Toast: Little girl, what's your name?
[my potential new friend? Morre: My name is Mr. Morre, Mr. Burrows.]
Charity: What is this? An enactment of one of Quentin Tarantino's movies?
[Gene: Did you say Mr. Lorre, like the actor? I thought he was dead.]
Pule: So did we. Strange we didn't put him in Histeria!
Loud: WE ONLY SHOW HISTORY, NOT MOVIES PULE.
[(Morre grabs Gene) Morre: Listen, I don't care]
Loud: FOR THE MOVIE BATMAN & ROBIN!
[if you are the ruler of the U.S, no one gets away with calling me by that name!]
Charity: Yeah, imagine the murders Morre got away with.
[Gene: Sorry.]
Toast: Dude, we wants to play that game now?
[(He lets go) So, just why do you want them dead? Morre: Well, I suggest you take me upstairs]
Toast: Unfortunately for him, he's downstairs now, if you know what I mean.
Others: We do.
[to address the entire army]
Charity: He already got an address!
[so I can tell them, I think it will motivate them to kill them as much as you and I do. And I think you should air it worldwide so those who aren't here will feel the same.]
All: Eeww!!!
[Gene: We're worldwide already,]
Pule: You commie.
[so go ahead,]
Loud: MAKE MY DAY.
[tell them, I look forward to hearing it. Morre: Very well. (He climbs up the steps of the building to address the army) Well, I guess the stepping stones]
Loud: BAD JOKE ALERT.
[of my story started at a very young age. Like you Mr. Burrows, everyone me mistook for that Lorre guy]
Toast: Dude, I thought Gene's last name is Burrows.
Charity: It is. Morre is talking about Gene's mistake.
Toast: Oh yeah.
[because my last name is similar and I sound a bit like him too. Worse yet,]
Pule: (Morre) I am in this movie.
[I also suffered through an even worse first name.]
Charity: Carrot?
[Gene: And what is your first name? Morre: My first name is...Vincent. Gene: Oh, you mean like Vincent Pri (he's interrupted by Morre's angry glance)]
Loud: PRICE?
[never mind. Morre: Thank you,]
Charity: You're not welcome.
[but you are right. I had to live through the suffering of being compared to]
Toast: Adam Sandler and Carrot Top.
[Vincent Price and Peter Lorre, I was compared to Price mainly because]
Pule: (Morre) I had nothing else better to do.
[him and Lorre are both creepy, impersonable and very famous actors.]
Toast: Like Bugs Bunny.
[Now how can anyone live through life with that?!]
Loud: THINK ABOUT IT, WON'T YOU?
[So, I decided the only way to get rid of that torment was to get]
Pule: A haircut and changed that dumb name.
[an important job and do things there that would overshadow my namesakes. Gene: Let me guess,]
Charity: You will die at the end of the movie.
[you decided to be a scientist?]
Loud: LIKE BILL NYE.
[Well, I can't blame you,]
Charity: I can.
[science is a wonderful field and you can do great things there for the world.]
Pule: Plus, it gets you into parties.
[Morre: Actually that was my second opinion, but instead I decided to be another type of doctor,]
Toast: A mad doctor.
[the medical type. Saving people's lives would easily gain more appreciation than having names after famous actors.]
Toast: Yeah, look how it was done for us.
[And I've always wanted to have a job in which I could make a difference in someone's life.]
Loud: LIKE BRUCE WILLIS.
[So I enrolled in medical school. For the next three years I did pretty well, but my becoming a doctor all depended on passing]
Pule: Out at the sight of blood.
[my final exam. The college I was in was rescheduled to close on Thanksgiving,]
Charity: So that the teachers would fatten themselves up.
[so they moved the exam to mid November of last year. Gene: You mean mid November of 1999?!]
Toast: (Sarcastic) No, I mean mid August. Wake up!
[Oh no, I think we can all guess what date the exam was on!]
Pule: I thought Morre was married.
[Morre: Yes, but first let me set up the situation.]
All: No!
[(Cut to flashback mode again as Morre enters his house) The exam was on November 12'th at 9:00 PM.]
Loud: DO YOU KNOW WHERE...
Charity: Okay, we get the joke Loud.
[I went home at about 3:30 the day before to get a lot of studying done because I wanted this so badly.]
Charity: You have no idea.
[But as you and everyone else knows,]
Toast: My name is Vincent Lorre.
[something disturbing came on a half hour later that day.]
Pule: He saw one of Adam Sandler's movies? I am so sorry.
[(The clock strikes 4]
Loud: (4) OUCH!
[and then the previously off TV turns on, beginning the marathon)]
Loud: AND GO!
[Morre: There was no possibly was I couldn't be driven mad from it,]
Charity: Too late.
[with my redemption for my name so close, but now so far away. I tried to study for the first half hour hoping it wouldn't be that bad,]
Pule: It is.
[but by the time I realized it was, you locked all the doors.]
Toast: Except for Barney's.
[I spent the next 24 hours trying in vain to study, but not succeeding. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate,]
Toast: (Morre) I couldn't commit suicide either, dude.
[I couldn't do anything but go insane. (The Morre from the past]
Loud: BATTLES THE MORRE OF THE FUTURE!
[screams endlessly) Gene: (Nervous)]
Charity: He should be.
[But, you did realize it wasn't my fault, it was theirs, right? Morre: If I thought it was your fault,]
Pule: This movie would have been interesting by now.
[I would have killed you by now.]
All: D'oh!