serenitymoon
02-14-2003, 11:51 PM
Here's some Valentine's Day/gender humor that I got from a friend. I thought is it was good for a laugh. I especially liked the one about how to stop people from asking you when you' re gonna get married... I'll have to remember that one... hehehe... :p
Enjoy!
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and
love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not
try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men
are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT
GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in
the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at
funerals.
Enjoy!
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and
love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not
try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men
are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT
GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in
the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at
funerals.