Brandon Pierce
09-04-2001, 10:08 AM
[CN Satellite]
Jon: My computer isn't working, I can't update my website. (pietro and sogturtle enter)
Pietro: Are these the things that make you blue?
Sogturtle: Is this the reason you do... uh... what you do?
Pietro (now singing): Don't let viruses get your goat.
Sogturtle (now singing): Capture all of those nasty viruses... uh... and... put 'em on a boat!
Pietro: Kill those vruses for the very last time!
Sogturtle: I have no clue why we need to rhyme!
Jon: Why thanks, that cheered me up. Oh, and we'll be right back.
Sogturtle: Why, do people need to rhyme when they're singing?
Pietro: Oh, it's simple, really. It's--
[Commercial Sign]
[After Commercial]
Jon: How exactly DO you kill viruses?
Pietro: Oh, it's simple, really. You-- (button flashes)
Sogturtle: Hey, we're gettin' called by Dr. Bunsen Honeydoo! (Jon hits button)
[Turner's Office]
Turner: Ahh, we;come. I'd like to introduce you all to my sidekick... Herb Scannell! Better known as the president of Nickelodeon! (herb enters)
Scannell: No autographs please.
[CN Satellite, brandon just happens to be passing through when he notices scannell]
Brandon: Ack! It's Herb Scannell! How'd he get to CN?! What's HE doing there?! What does he want from us?! What, what, what?
Sogturtle: Your main fear of Scannell is...?
Brandon: Well, he's the jerk who did all those bad things to Ren & Stmpy and The Angry Beavers. He's at the CN studio? Oh, Poop! He's gonna do bad things to Looney Tunes!!! AHHHHHH! (passes out, everyone rolls their eyes)
[Turner's Office]
Scannell: Are you sure this will make those guys crazy? I mean that one kid there looked pretty insane to me.
[CN Satellite]
Brandon (imitating Dib Membrane): I know what you want from us! You wanna kill us! You think we don't know what your up to! But you're wrong! Guys, we have to escape here! You, may think I'm crazy! But, you'll thank me! You'll all thank me!
Jon: I'm not getting enough sleep.
[Turner's Office]
Turner: You may have a point, there, Herb. Well, let's send them the cartoons, and then, lets head to out, secret hideout.
[CN Satellite]
Everyone: LT SIGN!!! (everyone leaves, exept brandon)
Brandon: Your little tricks won't fool us, Turner! We know what you're up to! You can't hide forever! And if you can, then, I'll wait forever! I've been waiting for this moment all my life! (jon enters and grabs brandon)
Jon: C'mon, Dib.... (camera fades out, the cartoon "Little Tinker" fades in)
[CN Satellite, after cartoon, sveven enters dressed as Frank Sinatra]
Sveven: Okay, I'm gonna do impressions of famous singers, and you guess which one it is. (camera pans back to reveal everyone else in the audience)
Sveven (imitating Eddie Cantor): Girls, girls, girls--
Pietro: To easy!
Brandon (imitating Daggett Beaver): Easy-Peasy, so easy!
Thad: Whattaya think we are? Dumbbells?
Kiddiesunshine: You coulda done Al Jolson? I would never have gotten that!
Jon: Wha...
Kiddiesunshine: Well, if he said "Mammy" then, it would have been a dead give away.
Matthew: Hey, Sveven! You think you could do one a little harder?
Sveven (as Jerry Colona): Ahhh... some impressions have been--
Everyone: JERRY COLONA!!!
Sveven: C'mon, guys! This is embarrassing!
Brandon: Hmm... if he had pronounced "embarrassing" differently, he would have sounded like Nick Bakay! (everyone looks at brandon)
Brandon: Okay, I'm shuttin' up.
Sveven: I'm leavin' this is to difficult. (sveven leaves)
Jon: It's time for another cartoon anyway. (alarm goes off)
Everyone: LT SIGN!!! (camera fades out, "Puss Gets the Boot" fades in)
[CN Satellite, after cartoon]
(Sveven is humming and reading a magazine.)
Sveven: Oh, I don't like that neckline at all. Oh, this is cute... (Jon enters in moustache and pseudo-Hands of Fate robe except there are feet on it.)
Jon (evilly): Salutations, Imperfect One! I am the Master and you are myseriously drawn to me. (Seveven snorts.) Everything I say you must do right away without having to ask twice. I am evil and mean and unforgiving! In your brokenness you have failed and now must repent. Bow down now before me! BOW DOWN!
Sveven (calmly): Oh, hi, Jon. (continues humming and reading.)
Jon: (normally) C'mon, Sveven, I was just commanding you to do my will. Besides, look, (evilly) Come to me for I am the magnet and you are steel!
Sveven: Well, you look like Maude.
Jon: Well, c'mon, I think this cloak exudes power and manliness. And, hey, look, I got a horrifying hellbeast right here. (Thad pops up from behind the table, decked out as the dog from the movie. He has red eyeballs.) It's pretty scary.
Sveven: Well, you just look like Maude with a hellbeast.
Thad: Oh, you mean Estelle Getty? (chuckles)
Jon (evilly): But, Tom, look!
Sveven: C'mon, Jon, the cloak is grand, the workmanship is superb, but a neat caftan doesn't automatically qualify you as the devil's spin doctor.
Jon: Oh, c'mon, look, it's lined, I got inside pockets, I got a little special one for my Mentos. It's even got a cotton panel...(begins to lift robe)
Thad: Uh, Jon, Sveven's right. It's just not working. You're not the evil type.
Jon: What do you mean?
Thad: Well, for one thing, your face is too friendly, and your eyebrows, they arc gently as opposed to jutting inward, and, well, frankly, Jon you blush in the most adorable way.
Jon: (takes off moustache) This is really embarassing. Oh, great, we got commercial sign.
[Commercials]
[CN Satellite, after commercials]
Jon: I still haven't gotten my computer fixed. (alarm goes off) Oh, LT Sign. (jon runs off, camera fades out, "An Itch In Time" fades in)
[CN Satellite, after cartoon]
Thad: Wow! Who-da thought we'd get the restored credits to An Itch In Time!
Kiddiesunshine: And I'm not even crazy.
Sogturtle: Oh, please Kiddiesunshine. We know Turner's the one who's crazy.
Thad: Are you sure Brandon isn't the one who's crazy.
Kiddiesunshine: I don't know. He come off lookin' pretty bad today.
Sogturtle: Yeah, he was even doing imitations of Dib Membrane.
Thad: Ouch.
Kiddiesunshine: That's pretty bad. (button flashes)
Sogturtle: Woah, Riff-Raff's callin'! (hits button)
[Turner's Office]
Scannell: So, where is the secret hideout?
Turner: I can't tell you! The camera's on!
Scannell: Then I'll fix it... (walks over to camera and shuts it off, credits begin)
Jon: My computer isn't working, I can't update my website. (pietro and sogturtle enter)
Pietro: Are these the things that make you blue?
Sogturtle: Is this the reason you do... uh... what you do?
Pietro (now singing): Don't let viruses get your goat.
Sogturtle (now singing): Capture all of those nasty viruses... uh... and... put 'em on a boat!
Pietro: Kill those vruses for the very last time!
Sogturtle: I have no clue why we need to rhyme!
Jon: Why thanks, that cheered me up. Oh, and we'll be right back.
Sogturtle: Why, do people need to rhyme when they're singing?
Pietro: Oh, it's simple, really. It's--
[Commercial Sign]
[After Commercial]
Jon: How exactly DO you kill viruses?
Pietro: Oh, it's simple, really. You-- (button flashes)
Sogturtle: Hey, we're gettin' called by Dr. Bunsen Honeydoo! (Jon hits button)
[Turner's Office]
Turner: Ahh, we;come. I'd like to introduce you all to my sidekick... Herb Scannell! Better known as the president of Nickelodeon! (herb enters)
Scannell: No autographs please.
[CN Satellite, brandon just happens to be passing through when he notices scannell]
Brandon: Ack! It's Herb Scannell! How'd he get to CN?! What's HE doing there?! What does he want from us?! What, what, what?
Sogturtle: Your main fear of Scannell is...?
Brandon: Well, he's the jerk who did all those bad things to Ren & Stmpy and The Angry Beavers. He's at the CN studio? Oh, Poop! He's gonna do bad things to Looney Tunes!!! AHHHHHH! (passes out, everyone rolls their eyes)
[Turner's Office]
Scannell: Are you sure this will make those guys crazy? I mean that one kid there looked pretty insane to me.
[CN Satellite]
Brandon (imitating Dib Membrane): I know what you want from us! You wanna kill us! You think we don't know what your up to! But you're wrong! Guys, we have to escape here! You, may think I'm crazy! But, you'll thank me! You'll all thank me!
Jon: I'm not getting enough sleep.
[Turner's Office]
Turner: You may have a point, there, Herb. Well, let's send them the cartoons, and then, lets head to out, secret hideout.
[CN Satellite]
Everyone: LT SIGN!!! (everyone leaves, exept brandon)
Brandon: Your little tricks won't fool us, Turner! We know what you're up to! You can't hide forever! And if you can, then, I'll wait forever! I've been waiting for this moment all my life! (jon enters and grabs brandon)
Jon: C'mon, Dib.... (camera fades out, the cartoon "Little Tinker" fades in)
[CN Satellite, after cartoon, sveven enters dressed as Frank Sinatra]
Sveven: Okay, I'm gonna do impressions of famous singers, and you guess which one it is. (camera pans back to reveal everyone else in the audience)
Sveven (imitating Eddie Cantor): Girls, girls, girls--
Pietro: To easy!
Brandon (imitating Daggett Beaver): Easy-Peasy, so easy!
Thad: Whattaya think we are? Dumbbells?
Kiddiesunshine: You coulda done Al Jolson? I would never have gotten that!
Jon: Wha...
Kiddiesunshine: Well, if he said "Mammy" then, it would have been a dead give away.
Matthew: Hey, Sveven! You think you could do one a little harder?
Sveven (as Jerry Colona): Ahhh... some impressions have been--
Everyone: JERRY COLONA!!!
Sveven: C'mon, guys! This is embarrassing!
Brandon: Hmm... if he had pronounced "embarrassing" differently, he would have sounded like Nick Bakay! (everyone looks at brandon)
Brandon: Okay, I'm shuttin' up.
Sveven: I'm leavin' this is to difficult. (sveven leaves)
Jon: It's time for another cartoon anyway. (alarm goes off)
Everyone: LT SIGN!!! (camera fades out, "Puss Gets the Boot" fades in)
[CN Satellite, after cartoon]
(Sveven is humming and reading a magazine.)
Sveven: Oh, I don't like that neckline at all. Oh, this is cute... (Jon enters in moustache and pseudo-Hands of Fate robe except there are feet on it.)
Jon (evilly): Salutations, Imperfect One! I am the Master and you are myseriously drawn to me. (Seveven snorts.) Everything I say you must do right away without having to ask twice. I am evil and mean and unforgiving! In your brokenness you have failed and now must repent. Bow down now before me! BOW DOWN!
Sveven (calmly): Oh, hi, Jon. (continues humming and reading.)
Jon: (normally) C'mon, Sveven, I was just commanding you to do my will. Besides, look, (evilly) Come to me for I am the magnet and you are steel!
Sveven: Well, you look like Maude.
Jon: Well, c'mon, I think this cloak exudes power and manliness. And, hey, look, I got a horrifying hellbeast right here. (Thad pops up from behind the table, decked out as the dog from the movie. He has red eyeballs.) It's pretty scary.
Sveven: Well, you just look like Maude with a hellbeast.
Thad: Oh, you mean Estelle Getty? (chuckles)
Jon (evilly): But, Tom, look!
Sveven: C'mon, Jon, the cloak is grand, the workmanship is superb, but a neat caftan doesn't automatically qualify you as the devil's spin doctor.
Jon: Oh, c'mon, look, it's lined, I got inside pockets, I got a little special one for my Mentos. It's even got a cotton panel...(begins to lift robe)
Thad: Uh, Jon, Sveven's right. It's just not working. You're not the evil type.
Jon: What do you mean?
Thad: Well, for one thing, your face is too friendly, and your eyebrows, they arc gently as opposed to jutting inward, and, well, frankly, Jon you blush in the most adorable way.
Jon: (takes off moustache) This is really embarassing. Oh, great, we got commercial sign.
[Commercials]
[CN Satellite, after commercials]
Jon: I still haven't gotten my computer fixed. (alarm goes off) Oh, LT Sign. (jon runs off, camera fades out, "An Itch In Time" fades in)
[CN Satellite, after cartoon]
Thad: Wow! Who-da thought we'd get the restored credits to An Itch In Time!
Kiddiesunshine: And I'm not even crazy.
Sogturtle: Oh, please Kiddiesunshine. We know Turner's the one who's crazy.
Thad: Are you sure Brandon isn't the one who's crazy.
Kiddiesunshine: I don't know. He come off lookin' pretty bad today.
Sogturtle: Yeah, he was even doing imitations of Dib Membrane.
Thad: Ouch.
Kiddiesunshine: That's pretty bad. (button flashes)
Sogturtle: Woah, Riff-Raff's callin'! (hits button)
[Turner's Office]
Scannell: So, where is the secret hideout?
Turner: I can't tell you! The camera's on!
Scannell: Then I'll fix it... (walks over to camera and shuts it off, credits begin)