Um, I'm having some girl situations right now...

[Dark Spider]

Normally when I make a "Girl" topic, it only focuses on one situation. Well this thread is focuses on several situations, all going on at the same time. I really want your opinions on these situations too. So um.....here goes....

Situation #1: "Why does she have to be older?"

You guys remember this thread...Is it bad to date older people? (http://forums.toonzone.net/showthread.php?threadid=48741) ? Well, this situation deals with that same exact girl that is older than me.

But our relationship seems to have changed since the time of that thread. Before, we just talked to each other sometimes while on the job....but now everytime we see each other, we hang out kind of. We walk around the plaza and talk, we take breaks together, and we eat food together. Even though we only see and talk to each other at work, I consider her a cool friend and not just a co-worker. It seems like she REALLY enjoys being with me too, up to the point that everytime she sees me, she always joins me and goes with me where ever I go. She laughs at everything funny I say and she smiles a whole lot and talks.

Its funny when I type this too. Yesterday when I was at work, me and her were about to go out to eat during our break from work. I was at the customer service desk and she went into the employee room (that had people in it) to get her coat and things. Well, she left the room smiling and we went out to eat and stuff. Later on in the night, I talk to my other fellow employees (the same people who were in the break room) and they were gossiping about me and her. They were asking me whether I liked her, and that she seemed real excited to be with me when she passed by them to get her coat, and other stuff. I avoided answering their questions though.

After all of this, I would love to say she likes me, but I have my doubts. For instance, she says that she's already taken by some guy that lives in another state. And also, there's still the fact that I'm still significantly younger than her. She may enjoy my company, but she still wants to date people remotely her age. That thought is constantly in my head.

What do you guys think? I don't know what to think?

Situation #2: "The Prom Date from Heaven or from Hell?"

For the past 3 years that I've been High School, I have been bothered by nearly everyone (whether for real or facetiously). But this one girl is a crazy one. In one breath, this girl bothers the hell out of me. I really can't stand her when she does either. But in another breath, she's really nice to me. I see both sides of her equal times. But I really hate her attitude when she's being mean to me, and in my opinion, it far outweighs the good.

But here's the kicker, I say a month ago, she asked me out to the prom!!! She was acting all shy and whatever when she asked me. I was so blown away, that I didn't have an answer for her. I told her that I'm not ready. Some guys were nearby and they were listening to our conversation, and they were clowning me. They couldn't believe I would "reject" such a beautiful girl (the girl was kinda cute). But nobody said I "rejected" her though. By messing with me, they basically messed up the whole damn conversation and the girl ended it with calling me a punk. @_@

At that point, I couldn't care less for her...but a week later, she asked me to the prom yet again. I'm like "What is her problem?". I really don't think she likes me and she is probably using me for some sneaky plan of hers. Because I don't trust her, I'm just thinking about telling her no. But what if she isn't planning on using me, what if she does like me? I don't want to make a bad mistake or a mistake I might regret later. Ugh, situations...

What do you guys think? I don't know what to think...

Situation #3: "From Aquaintance to love interest in a hot second"

This situation really weirded me out. Ever since the beginning of this year, I've been talking to this freshman girl on and off. And when I say on and off, I mean I talk to her once every two weeks or so. I really don't see her that often in the hallways.

Anyway, I see and talk to her in the library. Also there was this other girl. This other girl was a complete bimbo, if there ever was one. Seriously, she's stupid, has no tact, and she's wild. To seperate the two girls from each other in this thread, I will call my friend "Angela" and the other girl "Maggie". Anyway, I'm talking to Angela and this other girl proceeds to ask me if I was a virgin (See, no tact whatsoever), out of no where mind you. I mouth was wide open too, because the question was completely random. I answered no. Anyway, sometime after that, Angela asks me out to the Coronation Ball (its like a prom, but its for everyone). I told her I wasn't going (the prices are rediculously high compared to last years). She was okay with the answer. Afterwards, she kept looking at me and staring kind of. Then out of nowhere, she takes my hand and she writes "Dark Spider" 'n Angela with hearts all around it. I was so shocked that I just laughed. She laughed too, but I could tell she felt awkward. My laughing didn't help either.

That situation was so weird. I only saw her but a few times, and out of the blue, she starts writing me love messages. Where were the signs at? When did she start liking me? Where was I at? I don't even know if I want to pursue the relationship or not, because it was so random.

What do you guys think? I don't know what to think...

Situation #4: "Now this wasn't fair...."

A month ago, I met this incredibly smart and cute looking girl that I wanted to hook up with on a out of state trip. During the trip, I was attempting to talk to her and start a convo, but she's REALLY REALLY quiet. God, she's quiet. But from what I did get out of her, she's smart and....she's likes to make boring, but silly faces, nothing from her about her personality or what she likes or anything. When the trip was over, I gave her my phone number in the hopes that she at least calls me. In return, I got a thanks (uninspired btw) and her e-mail address.

A few days later, I e-mailed her. I talked about how I'm pursuing a driver's license (I have it btw), about school, and some questions I had for her. I tried to make the e-mail really funny, with different jokes and everything. I tried to get her to open up more and to reply back with a cool e-mail. But what I got was the most uninspired and boring e-mail ever. I got "bounced e-mail" messages from the postmaster more interesting than her reply. I got e-mails advertising soap more interesting than her reply (this is no joke either). She basically told me everything I wanted to know with no kind of deviation or interest what so ever. I aksed her whether she had AIM, and she basically cut me off with "I haven't used that thing in years". And she avoided any talk about calling me. And she did it all in 4 lines of typing. I was really pissed.

I tried e-mailing her back, this time with the topic focusing on school (That's the only thing that I know of that interests her). So I talk about scholarships, the prom, the SATs, colleges and other stuff. I also made myself into being a smart guy (thinking that she's only interested in smart guys). I tried to be informative, while sneaking in a couple of jokes to soften the mood. I tried to seem interesting, so she's be interested in replying back. Flash forward two weeks, and I still haven't recieved a reply. I take it I'm not going to hear from her again....and I really was interested in her too. We could've at least have been friends.

What do you guys think? I don't know what to think....(well, actually, I do, so nevermind :) )

There are a few more minor situations, but I'll stop it here. So...what do you guys think about some of the situations?

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Originally posted by Dark Spider
Then out of nowhere, she takes my hand and she writes "Dark Spider" 'n Angela with hearts all around it. I was so shocked

I would be shocked, too, since that means she recognizes your screen name from Toonzone!!! LOL. Just kidding. I know what you mean by this.

1. I wouldn't touch this girl if I were you. Dating older girls who are hooked up with someone else is not good.

2. "I already have a girlfriend from outside of school. Sorry."

3. You're not a virgin anymore? And you're still in High School? For shame...! Anyway, I like this girl. She is obviously attracted to you in some way. Her friend, on the other hand...

4. This situation died the week you first posted about this.

[Dark Spider]

Originally posted by Leaping Larry Jojo


3. You're not a virgin anymore? And you're still in High School? For shame...! Anyway, I like this girl. She is obviously attracted to you in some way. Her friend, on the other hand...

4. This situation died the week you first posted about this.

Uh...about that virgin thing. That's how I answered her....I didn't neccesarily say that I wasn't...

Oh and did I already post about that E-mail situation already? I don't remember...

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Originally posted by Dark Spider
Uh...about that virgin thing. That's how I answered her....I didn't neccesarily say that I wasn't...


I was kidding. You don't need to say anything or justify whatever position you were making.

You did post something about the e-mail situation a while back. I don't know about anyone else, but I told you that it was probably finished when you got the half-hearted reactions from her.

http://forums.toonzone.net/showthread.php?s=&postid=479690&highlight=email#post479690

EDIT: Apparently I did not post in that thread. I probably wrote a reply and Toonzone was undergoing fits that day. I do remember trying to say something to you about it.

[gtracer72]

Such a hard life having girls fight over you :p .

first situation:
Go to a couple of party's with her. Just hang out and have fun. If you two seem to connect, by all means go for it.

Second situation:
Don't even bother with the girl. She seems too unstable (likeing you one moment and then not likeing you)

Third situation:
She is a freshman, what can you expect. I dated a freshman when I was a junior. She wasn't ready for a serious relationship. If I were you, I say go ahead and try it. Maybe you can make your statement come true ;) .

Fourth Situation:
I remember her. Its dead. Just forget it and move on. Sometimes things weren't meant to be.

[ZorBrak]

Man, girls :D can't live with 'em can't live without 'em

[Weatherman]

#1
Hey, if it works for you, go for it. Age aint no big deal.

#2
Uhh, no.....She's probably just screwing with you.

#3
Ohh *beep* no. Don't touch that with a flaming 10' pole

#4
Well, whenever you see her , just keep trying. If nothing else, tell her your concerned about her. It just might work.

[Lucky Bob]

Originally posted by ZorBrak
Man, girls :D can't live with 'em can't live without 'em

http://www.stanford.edu/~zoette/rowlf.JPG
There's somethin' irresistabullish about 'em.
We grin and bear it 'cause the nights are long.
I hope that somethin' better comes along.

:D

[Dark Spider]

Originally posted by gtracer72
Such a hard life having girls fight over you :p .

first situation:
Go to a couple of party's with her. Just hang out and have fun. If you two seem to connect, by all means go for it.



I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place on that one. I want to ask her for her phone number, but that is automatically going to imply that I'm trying to get with her. I'm not trying to get with her, mainly because she says she's already taken. That will quickly turn a relationship around for the worst. I'm probably going to wait awhile until I establish a relationship outside of work. Or hopefully she will try to establish a relationship outside of work.


I was kidding. You don't need to say anything or justify whatever position you were making.

I know, I was joking myself. But for which side I'm joking for, that's for you to figure out. :)


#3
Ohh *beep* no. Don't touch that with a flaming 10' pole

Your opinion interests me. How come you say that?

[Failure]

Hey DS, first of all, I just want to say best of luck, whichever way you decide to go.

#1. I think she's just a friend. She's probably kinda flirty with you, but I don't get the impression that she considers you much more than a really good friend. I don't think there's much there to work with.

#4. I don't really get the impression that she has much interest. Or perhaps she's afriad because of the distance involved. But for now, I'd just consider a friend

More interestingly,

#2. It's possible, that she's just inexperienced and kind of inexperienced with this sort of thing. I would give her a chance. A prom might be high pressure, but how bout a date outside just to get a better chance to know her. It's possible that she might really like you, but doesn't know how exactly to express it. However, this is really important, if you find that you don't really trust her, then there's nothing there. Trust is key. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship.

#3. I think this is your best option. I'd go for it and see where it goes, it's intriguing. The only downside I see is that she could be a mercurial sort who might get bored with you real quick.

None of these are a sure bet, but best of luck whichever way you choose DS. :)

[Weatherman]

For one, that girl Angela was with sounds completely off her rocker, and Angela herself sounds a bit like she's lost contact with ground control herself. Find someone a little less flaky for a date.

[adoptedBatpuppy]

Sounds Like She Wants To Be Your "Best Friend."

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Situation #1: "Why does she have to be older?"

I want to tell you to go for it but I advise you to just take it as a really good friendship.


Situation #2: "The Prom Date from Heaven or from Hell?"

As you know, I went through something like this and I have a superficial question... Is she cute ? I mean eally If you don't like her you shouldn't take her to prom. Also have you ever known her to "use" people before. Asking you to prom is a pretty serious thing.



Situation #3: "From Aquaintance to love interest in a hot second"

Err..Either she just thinks your really cute and has fallen in "lust" with you or she's just being a flirt. My guess would be that she's developed a crush on you. You should flirt backa nd see what happens.


Situation #4: "Now this wasn't fair...."

She doesn't sound like your type. No point in even pursuing her. I think you'd enjoy someone more fun. Why become friends with someone who's not even interesting to you.

[Outlander00]

1) You're a dope if you think anything else! Of COURSE she likes you!!! She seems to be insecure, however, with your age and thats understandable. Just hang out with her more, get to know her, and let her get comfortable. She will eventually come around. Patience is a virtue and pushing her too fast into something will not help the situation. But the occasional "helping along" doesn't hurt.

2) I dont know how to handle this situation. If I was in your shoes, I'd tell her to get out of my face and then call her a derogetory name to put the stamp on the package (even if you didnt mean it). But, Im not you (which is rather fortunate for you :D ).

She messing with you and no one needs that. Like any insect, pain, annoying politicians, and awful programming, ignore it and she'll go away.

3) She wants to jump your bones, and she is intrigued with the challange because you have not given her any more notice than what was happening thus far. The same thing happened to me in college and it turned ugly (accused me of stalking her, etc.). Still, you don't know how she will take things so chill, sit back, and what happens happens. Youre young (god I am only 23 and already I sound like a grandfather.. *sigh*) you got a lot of opportunities ahead.

4)IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII am not going to go respond to thatone cause it could be any number of things.

I must say though... Damn, I wish I had girls fighting over me... Too bad I had to wait for college for that :D

[Taiso]

Ok I realise that I don't know you and I'm just a newbie, but here's some observations anyway. I hope I don't offend!

Situation #1: "Why does she have to be older?"
Ok I've had a situation recently with an older girl, but it's a bit different from yours. It would help if you said how much older. Anyways, from what I've gathered, older women really have maturity issues with younger guys, because they're normally worried about whether a younger guy would be mature enough to handle them. So if you guys get on really great that's cool, just act yourself and let her take the lead. Show her what you're like, and if she likes you then that's good, if she just wants to be friends then at least you have a great friend.

Situation #2: "The Prom Date from Heaven or from Hell?"
How do you define being mean and being nice here? I mean, does she talk about you behind other people's backs, embarass you in public or is just plain nasty. And then she's nice to you as well? She sounds about as two faced as you can get. It sounds like she's trying to play you for laughs.

Situation #3: "From Aquaintance to love interest in a hot second"
That's definitely an odd thing to do. How much do you like her? I mean, if it's more than a passing interest then make an effort to get to know her a little, and then make your decision. If not, then well leave it.

Situation #4: "Now this wasn't fair...."
Sorry to say it, but this sounds like a dead end. It sounds like you're just getting polite responses and she just doesn't want to be so rude as to blow you off. I'd leave this one for sure!


I hope this helps. Keep us updated! :)

[Dark Spider]

Situation #1:

It seems to be a unanimous vote that I should leave this one alone, or just play along. That's exactly what I want to do actually, but there's something about this girl that I like. She has this cheerful personality that just lightens the moment, and hanging out with her actually makes me happy. There's no awkwardness, and trust me, awkwardness follows me like a book when girls are involved. And then she breaks her neck (kind of) to hang out with me too. Before I was interested, I used to leave when it was time to and didn't care about anyone or anything. But somehow, she was always there at the exit and then she used to make me wait for her so we could leave together. She did this enough times to make me interested and now I actually wait without her forcing me too.

*Sigh* Oh well, we could still have fun being friends, there's no need to go into a relationship over it. She can't be the only girl with that personality on this Earth. I'll just use my spider senses to find others...

Situation #2

There was a question about how mean this girl was to me. She makes fun of me constantly, she always makes me out to be a punk and has called me one constantly...and then she uses the fact that she's a girl as a excuse for me not hitting her. I swear, she can't hide behind that excuse for long.

But sometimes, she's the complete opposite. She sometimes asks me to just walk with her somewhere and talk. She has hinted to numerous people that if she had the chance, she would *cough* be with me, if you know what I mean. And she just acts nice towards me.

She confuses the crap out of me, because she does conflicting things. Basically, I'm NOT going out with her, even if she told me that she loves me afterwards...

Situation #3

This situation happened on Thursday and I haven't seen her since. I can't base a judgement until I see her again, to see how she acts after her little "confession". But I'm probably going to give it a shot though. The only problem I see is other people's responses and stuff. She's a freshman (I'm a senior), she has green hair (people certainly look down on that), she is really, really big (as in fat) and tall, and we are from completely different races (not that I'm racial or anything, but the people in our school do look down on that though). I don't care what people think really, but I can see what kinds of problems that leads too.

Situation #4

I'll give up...she wins. Besides, I haven't seen her before or after the trip, ever in my life. So I guess I won't be seeing her again.

[Karkull]

What is it about posters here and girl trouble?

:D

Anyway, Dark Spider, I'd proceed with caution no matter what because you're 17 (you still are, aren't you?). She could get in trouble depending on where you two live seeing since she's 21.

Just be careful. My troubles right now stem from miscommunication, so it would probably be a good idea to figure out what she's after (you may need to read into her a little, they won't always tell you everything you need to know...and that goes for both genders).

[gtracer72]

Originally posted by Dark Spider
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place on that one. I want to ask her for her phone number, but that is automatically going to imply that I'm trying to get with her. I'm not trying to get with her, mainly because she says she's already taken. That will quickly turn a relationship around for the worst. I'm probably going to wait awhile until I establish a relationship outside of work. Or hopefully she will try to establish a relationship outside of work.


Getting her digits isn't necessarily implying you want to hook-up, as in wanna by me girlfriend. I had numbers of girl-friends in highschool just so that we could hang out Friday/Saturday nights and have fun as friends. Go for establishing the relationship now, so that if things don't work out between her and her boyfriend, she'll have someone (you) to lean on. Out of your 4 situations, I would go for this girl. She seems to make you happy all the time and you enjoy being around her. You may not be boyfriend and girlfriend now, but whos to say that won't change. Good luck. :)

[Weatherman]

Spider, concerning #4


Try again. Please. She really sounds like she could use a friend. Just send her another email, and look for her around school. I offer a Weatherman garuntee that's she pretty lonely, whether by choice or not. Just seek her out, maybe at lunch or something.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Originally posted by Weatherman
Spider, concerning #4


Try again. Please. She really sounds like she could use a friend. Just send her another email, and look for her around school. I offer a Weatherman garuntee that's she pretty lonely, whether by choice or not. Just seek her out, maybe at lunch or something.

Guarantee? You don't even know her! Maybe she is lonely, but it's up to her to take the steps to get over it, not DS'. Besides, if he keeps pestering her, he could get in trouble. I say leave her alone, but let her know that he's available to talk any time.

Don't waste your eggs on a longshot. Go with someone where you have a chance.

After reading it over, I wouldn't be interested in any of them, to be honest. Maybe number 1, but the fact that she's dating someone else while being so "friendly" with DS really bugs the hell out of me.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Getting her digits isn't necessarily implying you want to hook-up, as in wanna by me girlfriend. I had numbers of girl-friends in highschool just so that we could hang out Friday/Saturday nights and have fun as friends. Go for establishing the relationship now, so that if things don't work out between her and her boyfriend, she'll have someone (you) to lean on. Out of your 4 situations, I would go for this girl. She seems to make you happy all the time and you enjoy being around her. You may not be boyfriend and girlfriend now, but whos to say that won't change. Good luck

Yeah getting her phone number won't mean squat, except taht you enjoy hanging with her and would like talking to her on the phone too. (If she objects to giving it to you it'll means he really does like you and would trust herself if you guys got any closer.) Still If she's like most girls you'll get the number anyway.

[Steve Jester]

This situation happened on Thursday and I haven't seen her since. I can't base a judgement until I see her again, to see how she acts after her little "confession". But I'm probably going to give it a shot though. The only problem I see is other people's responses and stuff. She's a freshman (I'm a senior), she has green hair (people certainly look down on that), she is really, really big (as in fat) and tall, and we are from completely different races (not that I'm racial or anything, but the people in our school do look down on that though). I don't care what people think really, but I can see what kinds of problems that leads too.


uh.....

at my highschoollast year, a freashman went out with a senior, their still together.

but the only thing, she (the freshman) was a cheerleeder, he was a star reciever on the football team.

My advice, do what ya got to do. but I wouldn't if i was you. (since when I'm a senior, the freashmen will be the kids in my brother's grade *shudder*)

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Males and females cannot ever be "just friends." This is my opinion.

[Zoddman]

Originally posted by Leaping Larry Jojo
Males and females cannot ever be "just friends." This is my opinion. I absolutely agree. the sexual tension will always be there.

[gtracer72]

Originally posted by Leaping Larry Jojo
Males and females cannot ever be "just friends." This is my opinion.


Originally posted by Zoddman
I absolutely agree. the sexual tension will always be there.

Have you had bad experiences with girls or something? Of course males and females can be "just friends".

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

I have had reasonably good past relationships with the women in MY particular love life, but it's just that I can't hang around any girl for too long before I start entertaining romantic thoughts about her, or vice versa.

I think males and females can be minor friends or acquaintances, but when they get *too* close to each other, I don't believe they can stay "friends" for long. I think many people are fooling themselves when they think they can be "just friends" with someone they were or are attracted to.

[Weatherman]

I have plenty of female friends who are just that, friends. I don't want to be in a relationship with any of them. I am very happy with it being friends, as I already have a GF. Why in the world can't you be friends with someone of the opposite sex? I don't know about anyone else here, but I'm not quite that primal. ;)

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Friends or close friends? I'm willing to bet your female "friends" aren't really close friends, and if they are, that is cause for your GF to be justifiably suspicious, especially if you hang around a specific "friend" just as much as your girlfriend.

I'm sure there are statistics around that estimate how many CLOSE male-female friendships evolve into something more, or how many male-female friendships had a one-time (or more) sexual "fling". I'm willing to be the number is quite high.

[Andy Mancini]

As far as number one goes, I say just let it flow. See, I'm in a similar situation, only the girl I'm pursuing is three years younger than me. She is the same way around me as the girl you're talking about is around you. I wanted to be more than friends for a while, but she didn't act to well to that, so now I'm more of a confidant than anything. She calls me her "personal psychiatrist", because she claims that I "always manage to make her feel better, no matter how bad the situation is". I have found that I enjoy and cherish that relationship more than any plastic "romantic encounter" I would have had. Just be a good friend. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. That's all there is to it.

[Weatherman]

Well, if it helps, some of my close female friends are online friends, and some are not. I may occasionaly entertain the thought of the relationship being something different, but I push those out as fast as they come in. My GF knows of my friends and has talked to a number of them. She has no problem at all.


As for my "Weatherman garuntee", that's what I've observed about situations like that. Weather by choice or not, she's lonely. If it's by choice, well, not a whole heck of alot you can do other then keep trying, all be it carefuly. DS, just be you if you ever find her around school. Maybe she'll open up a bit, maybe she wont, but you never know unless you try and try again. Then give up. No use being a darn fool about it. Last lines atributed to W.C Fields.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

I believe it takes a certain tact to get lonely people to open up. If they are resisting your efforts, or they make it clear they don't like it, then you are not doing the right thing. The key is to ease people along by saying the right things BUT also giving them room to breathe, so as to make them think THEY are actively opening up, instead of you "forcing" them to.

I don't think forcing the issue is a good thing. It is harassment in a way. If someone was bothering me all the time, ringing up my doorbell every day to get me to go out and have some "fun", well I can assure you this person would get nothing from me.

Some people just don't have the abilities to press the right buttons. I think DS has tried more than reasonably to get her to respond. It is a dead issue with her now.