Depth Charge
09-29-2002, 04:45 AM
Kelloggs's slogans have been getting a lot of undeserved attention recently. The following paragraphs are intended as an initial, open-ended sketch of how bad the current situation is. There is no contradiction here; even though Kelloggs receives most of its knowledge from "Elitism for Dummies", you mustn't forget that Kelloggs insists that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands they perpetrates. Will Kelloggs's insipid attendants arouse inter-ethnic suspicion? Only time will tell.
Kelloggs is absolutely determined to believe that the Earth is flat, and it's not about to let facts or reason get in its way. I, not being one of the many jaundiced morons of this world, do not wish to evaluate nonrepresentationalism here, though I believe that Kelloggs has recently been going around claiming that there's no difference between normal people like you and me and paltry, sex-crazed menaces. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk. Why is it that Kelloggs's advocates are tyrannical, predatory clowns (literally!)? It's because Kelloggs's overbearing announcements are in full flower, and their poisonous petals of sesquipedalianism are blooming all around us. We are observing the change in our society's philosophy and values from freedom and justice to corruption, decay, cynicism, and injustice. All of these "values" are artistically incorporated in one person: Kelloggs.
Perhaps Kelloggs has never had to take a stand and fight for something as critical as our right to pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. But in order to convince us that its smears won't be used for political retribution, Kelloggs often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes. It is 4:45 at my location, someone help me. Some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that the mistaken claim that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd is not only incorrect but is somewhat telling of Kelloggs's core sentiments. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. I've tried explaining to Kelloggs's representatives that Kelloggs is intellectually dishonest in everything it says and does, but it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars.
We can say that we are now stuck with an ill-bred factionalism bearing a human face -- that of Kelloggs -- and Kelloggs can claim the opposite, and it won't make one bit of difference. I don't want to make any hard and final judgments, but Kelloggs presents itself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. I wish someone would actually read all this and comment on the word cherry. It is eloquent in its denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors catty crooks. And here we have the ultimate irony, because to say that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point is refractory nonsense and untrue to boot. If Kelloggs wanted to, it could conspire with evil. It could abandon the idea of universal principles and focus illegitimately on the particular. And it could spoil the whole Zen Buddhist New Age mystical rock-worshipping aura of our body chakras. We must truly not allow Kelloggs to do any of these.
Some mumpish yobbos have raised objections to my cock-and-bull stories, but their objections are all politically motivated. It has been, and is, my great undertaking to take stock of what we know, identify areas for further research, and provide a useful starting point for debate on Kelloggs's destructive arguments. Yet the media consistently ignores, downplays, or marginalizes this fact. The simple, regrettable truth is that Kelloggs says that it knows the "right" way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life. I alluded to this earlier, but Kelloggs decries or dismisses capitalism, technology, industrialization, and systems of government borne of Enlightenment ideas about the dignity and freedom of human beings. These are the things that it fears, because they are wedded to individual initiative and responsibility. Let me close by reminding you that the statements I made about Kelloggs in this letter are in earnest. I will not equivocate. I will not excuse. I will not retreat a single inch. And I will be heard.
Kelloggs is absolutely determined to believe that the Earth is flat, and it's not about to let facts or reason get in its way. I, not being one of the many jaundiced morons of this world, do not wish to evaluate nonrepresentationalism here, though I believe that Kelloggs has recently been going around claiming that there's no difference between normal people like you and me and paltry, sex-crazed menaces. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk. Why is it that Kelloggs's advocates are tyrannical, predatory clowns (literally!)? It's because Kelloggs's overbearing announcements are in full flower, and their poisonous petals of sesquipedalianism are blooming all around us. We are observing the change in our society's philosophy and values from freedom and justice to corruption, decay, cynicism, and injustice. All of these "values" are artistically incorporated in one person: Kelloggs.
Perhaps Kelloggs has never had to take a stand and fight for something as critical as our right to pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. But in order to convince us that its smears won't be used for political retribution, Kelloggs often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes. It is 4:45 at my location, someone help me. Some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that the mistaken claim that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd is not only incorrect but is somewhat telling of Kelloggs's core sentiments. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. I've tried explaining to Kelloggs's representatives that Kelloggs is intellectually dishonest in everything it says and does, but it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars.
We can say that we are now stuck with an ill-bred factionalism bearing a human face -- that of Kelloggs -- and Kelloggs can claim the opposite, and it won't make one bit of difference. I don't want to make any hard and final judgments, but Kelloggs presents itself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. I wish someone would actually read all this and comment on the word cherry. It is eloquent in its denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors catty crooks. And here we have the ultimate irony, because to say that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point is refractory nonsense and untrue to boot. If Kelloggs wanted to, it could conspire with evil. It could abandon the idea of universal principles and focus illegitimately on the particular. And it could spoil the whole Zen Buddhist New Age mystical rock-worshipping aura of our body chakras. We must truly not allow Kelloggs to do any of these.
Some mumpish yobbos have raised objections to my cock-and-bull stories, but their objections are all politically motivated. It has been, and is, my great undertaking to take stock of what we know, identify areas for further research, and provide a useful starting point for debate on Kelloggs's destructive arguments. Yet the media consistently ignores, downplays, or marginalizes this fact. The simple, regrettable truth is that Kelloggs says that it knows the "right" way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life. I alluded to this earlier, but Kelloggs decries or dismisses capitalism, technology, industrialization, and systems of government borne of Enlightenment ideas about the dignity and freedom of human beings. These are the things that it fears, because they are wedded to individual initiative and responsibility. Let me close by reminding you that the statements I made about Kelloggs in this letter are in earnest. I will not equivocate. I will not excuse. I will not retreat a single inch. And I will be heard.