Shy

[sharpei_nat]

I am SO shy you would not believe it. (I'm only shy in person, online I can just be myself) Is shyness some kind of inheritance? My dad was shy and my mom SAYS she was shy too but boy, she dosen't act it. I know some of you SAY you're shy but can you acually make conversation or just be in one? I can't, all I say in a conversation is yeah, no, or sure. It's so sad... I can't look anyone in the eye, I just look down or away and they ask me why I'm not looking at them or listening to them, but I am listening, I don't know what makes me too shy to look at them. At lunch I eat alone, even though my friends invite me to eat with them. At volleyball practice I stand alone in some corner at water breaks. Don't ask how I got the courage to do volleyball since I'm so shy. Sure I have friends, and I can be as normal as I want to be around them. Somebody PLEEZE give me advice on how to break out of shyness. Or just write whatever.

[ChuckRoast]

I'm working on getting rid of my shyness, too. I might to use some advice too.

[meatwad945]

Originally posted by sharpei_nat
I am SO shy you would not believe it. (I'm only shy in person, online I can just be myself) Is shyness some kind of inheritance? My dad was shy and my mom SAYS she was shy too but boy, she dosen't act it. I know some of you SAY you're shy but can you acually make conversation or just be in one? I can't, all I say in a conversation is yeah, no, or sure. It's so sad... I can't look anyone in the eye, I just look down or away and they ask me why I'm not looking at them or listening to them, but I am listening, I don't know what makes me too shy to look at them. At lunch I eat alone, even though my friends invite me to eat with them. At volleyball practice I stand alone in some corner at water breaks. Don't ask how I got the courage to do volleyball since I'm so shy. Sure I have friends, and I can be as normal as I want to be around them. Somebody PLEEZE give me advice on how to break out of shyness. Or just write whatever.
that sounds just like me

[Magentabeams]

I am real shy, I don't like talking to people I don't know real well at all. I am always to afraid they are going to jusge me. But, once I get on the internet it dosen't matter, I just turn into this other personality. I kind of be myself without feeling people are judging me too much.

Sarahanne

[Weatherman]

For starters, I was pretty much the same through alot of middle and high school, thouhg I usually had two or three people I sat with at lunch, depending on how the schedulesworked out and if I even ate lunch.


Now, for the advice, forget about what others think. Now I'm not saying that the way that others precive you is neccessarily wrong and that you should be a smug, narcassistic jerk, but letting the mere possibility that someone might think slightly differnt of you and suddenly stop liking you becuase of something you said is really a lonely way to live, and it's no fun, as I'm sure you guys have found out. As long as you didn't kill their dog or something (you didn't, right? :p ) whatever you tell them shouldn't have too damning an effect. Friends are good like that. :)

Just sit down with them sometime at lunch and chime in when you have something to say in the conversation. It doesn't have to be witty, funny, or even especially relevant as long as it has some relationship to the topic at hand. You'll be suprised how fast you'll get caught up in the conversation.

[Captain Yurika]

I don't think being shy is genetically inherited though it could be learned. Either from your family or from experiences. I'm not overly shy (ask JC) I am always talking with everyone. I never shut up really. :p But there were times when I felt shy around people I didn't know, like in high school. I had my own group of rag-tag friends (I'm still friends with by the way) but I grew out of it. I hit a point somewhere in my senior year when I realized that I didn't really care what everyone else thought. That was a huge part of my shyness, that I wanted to say and do the right thing. So once I got past that, I was more social, looking people in the eyes and so forth.

Some people stay shy all their lives, I have a friend who has always been very shy and quiet. Others grow out of it. You have to do things at your own pace. If you really want to work at it, then try like WM says and just try talking to people at school during lunch or something. Or any other circumstances like a job or at the mall whatever. Practice at it till you feel more comfortable. :)

[Jedigreedo]

I get shy just talking to someone on IM that I don't know...

[sharpei_nat]

I CAN"T eat with anybody at lunch, (it's not that I'm impaired or somthin') I don't know why, I just like being alone all the time. I don't mind it one bit.

If somebody asks me to eat lunch with them I get embarrased I DON"T know why, I just do. I never say no to them because I
think it would be some kind of insult??

When I was younger, I was sort of a jerk and 100% not shy, (I'm not tellin' what I did as a jerk, don't worry it wasn't bad). I don't know what made me turn around, but I became this shy reserved (is that the right word??) peson that never smiles. You would NOT believe the numer of people that told me to "smile!" they say: "y'know, smiling uses less muscles than to frown" I NEVER FROWN! I'm just not smilin'. I hate it when someone tells me to smile.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Originally posted by sharpei_nat
I CAN"T eat with anybody at lunch, (it's not that I'm impaired or somthin') I don't know why, I just like being alone all the time. I don't mind it one bit, but my mom crys sometimes because "I look so sad" Then I cry too because it hurts me to see my mom sad. "Don't worry, she dosen't do that often)

If somebody asks me to eat lunch with them I get embarrased I DON"T know why, I just do. I never say no to them because I
think it would be some kind of insult??

When I was younger, I was sort of a jerk and 100% not shy, (I'm not tellin' what I did as a jerk, don't worry it wasn't bad). I don't know what made me turn around, but I became this shy reserved (is that the right word??) peson that never smiles. You would NOT believe the numer of people that told me to "smile!" they say: "y'know, smiling uses less muscles than to frown" I NEVER FROWN! I'm just not smilin'. I hate it when someone tells me to smile.

Wow this sounds almost exactly like me except the only time I'm shy when it comes to eating is in front of girls. I don't think I'm shy. So i don't think your shy. I mean soem people just would rather be by themselves when theya ren't around people they are confortable with.

Some people ask me why I'm so quiet and those people just ahppen to be people I don't like. What a coincidense, huh ? :p
Anybody else will tell you different. Anyway I think some people confuse being uncomfortable with being shy.

[Seafaring]

I myself am aslo very shy. But for me the first thing about becoming more unshy, is becoming more comfortable with myself. If I am not comfortable about who am I, then there is absolutely no way for me to be myself around others I don't know. But thats harder than it seems.
I am pretty much shy all the time, it doesn't matter if I'm at the store or on the internet. Always shy around guys. But one thing I noticed is that when I am around people I know really well, my shyness fades away and I don't care what other people think of me. hmm... I don't think this helped at all.

[oranthal]

i think i remember reading something that said shyness is the effect and the not cause for a person's feeling uncomfortable around other people.

Weatherman is right about his comments on friends. if you have good friends, what say around them shouldn't feel uncomfortable even though you might think it as stupid or uninteresting because you are all friends just having a good time. if you do say something stupid, they'll bust your chops for it, and when your friends say something stupid, you bust their chops for it and the cycle continues. that is male bonding at its finest. soon, you'll start being more comfortable yourself and other people.

[James]

I was an extrovert as a teen, I'm more introverted now. Watching life from a distance... :)

I can be shy. Depends on the situation. If I'm not confortable with my surroundings, say at a new work place or a nightclub/pub which feels alien (most nighytclubs do for me prior to a bevy or two..) then I will be shy. If I'm comfortable I'll be as annoying and in your face as you can imagine. :D


So I sympathise. This year is one of transition for me - hopefully I'll lose those occasional bouts of shyness by the end of the year! Life is too short not to take advantage of it!

[czyznyck99]

..........help me, please, I can't talk to anyone :p ....


Ah, whatever. I hear ya. Honestly though, I think the only way to get out of shyness is to talk. You don't have transform into a flirt or something like that, but you have to say something. I hardly say two words at school, but when I do, it's not so bad. Turns out I can hold a preeeetty decent conversation, and so can you. Definately much easier around people you know and are comfortable with.

Later.

[sharpei_nat]

Ok, so I've just come back from my fourth day of volleyball practice, and I'm JUST starting to talk to people, actually they come to me first. I'm sorta "breaking out of my shell" (as its called). I am still shy and REALLY quiet though, Not really "uncomfortable" as Chris would say. I would know, right?

[JustJack]

And all this time....I thought shyness was endearing.... http://forums.off-topic.net/images/smilies/pat.gif

I was really shy most of my life, then about Junior or Senior year, I stop caring. I didn't care at all what anyone thought..chances are I don't know them, or don't like them anyway...so, I walk up and talk to anyone...and pretty much happily make a fool of myself in public if the time calls for it.

http://forums.off-topic.net/images/smilies/wiggle.gif
la la la la la LAA!!!! la lalala... ;)

[Danielle]

I used to be *incredibly* shy. Never tried to make friends, never went out much. Then one thing changed all that. One thing helped me against my extreme shyness.....

Take a wild guess. :p

.......TOONZONE!!!

Before I continue: no one told me to say that. ;) Seriously, TZ helped me becone more outgoing to other people. I simply applied how I reacted to other people online to real life, and this site has helped me do that.

Boy, the admins are gonna LOVE me for this. :D ToonZone is fairly useful, ne? :cool:

[Allen's Nickname.]

I'm freakishly outlandish. Allthough I do tend to watch life from a distance, I feel the need to comment on what I see from a distance.

[Kuro-Neko]

I need help too.At lunch I hang out with this huge mob of people(most of them dress kinda punkish) and two of them are my good buddies but I want to get to know the other peoples and I want some of them to know me by name and I'm scared to say something to them because I'm afraid they'll think I'm whacked or somethin.But they seem my type cuz they like invader Zim and stuff.How can I start to be known and well liked by some of these people??plz help:(

[Weatherman]

Talk to them about "Zim and stuff" silly. :p


Really, just start talking when you find an opening to say something. If they like Zim, they are automatically geek-cool. Just pipe up with a joke, opinion, anything when an oppertunity presents itself. You'd be suprised at how addicting it become. :)

[sharpei_nat]

Hey, Get a Zim shirt like Me! Just Joking (but I really do have one)

[Magentabeams]

Originally posted by cool_girl
I need help too.At lunch I hang out with this huge mob of people(most of them dress kinda punkish) and two of them are my good buddies but I want to get to know the other peoples and I want some of them to know me by name and I'm scared to say something to them because I'm afraid they'll think I'm whacked or somethin.But they seem my type cuz they like invader Zim and stuff.How can I start to be known and well liked by some of these people??plz help:(

I say just try to get yourself into on of their conversations, by saying little things. It works for me.

Sarahanne

[Moonbay]

I am semi-shy, I guess. Around new people, I am speechless and feel like I wanna just leave and go to sleep. ^.^ But if I'm with someone I've known for a while, and know well, I become hyper-active thing with no off switch.

Shyness can be overcomed. It's pretty easy, I'm slowly learning to "talk." If your terrified by what others might think of you, or afraid they could notice some flaw in you, just look for a flaw in them. See? This person is has a hair sticking up from their head!

TALK. Talk about anything. Someone talking about dentists? Share a personal story about a certain occasion. Talking about TV/Movies? Share what you love and what you dont. Nobody seems interested? Ditch 'em. :)

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

I used to be an extrovert. I used to do things without thinking about the consequences, and always say what's on my mind. I used to get in trouble a lot. Unfortunately, to avoid getting in trouble, I started thinking before I did anything. Thinking TOO much. Now my problem is that I sit there and calculate every outcome before I make a decision. In the end, I usually don't like any of the possible consequences so my mouth remains shut.

You just gotta find a way to not care what people think of you. Best way is to just start mingling again. Say something harmless, even if it's stupid. Not everyone will like you--but some people will.