Craig Marinaro
08-07-2001, 09:39 PM
Hey, everybody! I just flew back from Switzerland, and boy are my ar—
Nah, wait. Lemme start again.
Hey, everybody! I just got back from Switzerland! There was a bit less international intrigue than one might have suspected from my previous message. But I did steal two dozen sugar cubes from a little bistro and smuggled them past customs back into the States. They’re a great pick-me-up for my jet lag!
Country as a whole seemed a lot more Americanized than I expected it to be. I was hoping to commune with nature and run free in the hills and stuff. But most of the places that I got dragged to seemed to be mostly tourist-trap setups (paths and fences telling where you could and couldn’t walk, souvenir stands and restaurants strewn liberally about). Someday when I’m older maybe I’ll go back and try to find some less-trodden paths to explore. The scenery was breathtaking though.
The thing that most struck me was how idyllic everything was. Maybe it was just because I didn’t have a clue what anybody was saying (we visited the German sector of the country mostly), but everyone seemed incredibly kind and understanding when you got in their way or inadvertently dropped heavy objects on their heads. I’m used to seeing caricatures of Europeans on TV cursing and spitting at American tourists, so I was shocked to find how much they tolerated my stupidity.
Everyone seemed even more easy-going than me, too—I don’t think I saw one native of the country get stressed out over anything or rush anywhere or push people out of their way in aggravation. Everything moved at a wonderfully leisurely pace—and yet everything was still much more punctual than anyplace I’ve ever been on this side of the pond. The train connections were precisely planned to give everyone enough time to switch over, without ever having to sit in the station for more than a few minutes. The boats, the planes—everything left right on time. It was like a dream…an amazing thing to behold.
Cleanliness…do you want to hear about cleanliness? No? Well, tough. It *is* next to godliness, you know, and if it’s good enough for Him, it’s good enough for you, darnit.
Yeah…everything was immaculate. Every street, every building, every city, every everything…they don’t have nearly as much of the “national pride” propaganda stuff as we do in the States, but people seemed to respect the land a lot more than a lot of people here do. Lot of smoking though. If you want to go to Switzerland for the fresh, unspoiled air, definitely stay away from any large civilizations. *coff coff*
Culturally, everything seemed pretty similar to America, except that pornography is a lot more accepted. Superhero comic books aren’t really sold there (sorry, Brainatra ;), with the D*sney books seeming to be the big sellers. I bought one of the German-language D*sney books as a souvenir (something called “Walt Disney’s Lustiges Taschenbuch”—seems to be the Dutch equivalent of “Walt Disney’s Comics & Stories”). I can’t read a word of it, but there’s some nice pictures. My favorite story involves Donald dating a fashion model, and Daisy retaliating by going out with Gladstone Gander. The story has some nice zany art. Besides, the way I figure it, any comic that ends with Uncle Scrooge terrorizing passers-by by angrily swinging an oversized club with nails in it has to be pretty darn good, no matter what he’s saying.
TV was fun. We got about thirty channels, which played a variety of German, French, English, and Italian programs. Lots of dubs of US shows (including Columbo’s Identity Crisis with Patrick McGoohan, and a Perry Mason episode). Saw a German dub of the TTA “Fields of Honey” episode, and the voices were surprisingly true to the originals. The most amusing bit was hearing the dubbed actress imitating (quite well) Tress’ interpretation of Babs doing Pee Wee Herman. A few parts were left in the original English (Bosko & Honey’s rendition of “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” and Babs’ newspaper-selling rap song, as well as Porky Pig’s “That’s All, Folks!”—although Bosko saying “That’s all, folks!” a few minutes later was redubbed in German). Noted that the original American credits were left intact, though (and the dubbers went uncredited).
The only US stations we got were CNN, MTV, and Cartoon Network. CN was pretty close to our version, except all the commercials and the main titles of all the shows were redone in French. This made very little sense to me, since the programs themselves were in English…but go fig. Also saw a block of Disney programs dubbed in French—the Rescue Rangers episode with Monterey Jack’s old flame (who had an even stronger accent than the rest, since she was a stereotypical French character in the original), “The Brave Little Tailor” and “Mickey’s Polo Team” (the latter of which was undubbed, since the only dialogue is Donald’s nigh-incoherent squawkings), and some Timon & Pumbaa episode involving them joining a toga sorority.
Also lots of dubs of older sitcoms, which were ten times funnier than the original English versions because we could make up our own dialogue. The best stuff by far, though, was their original programming. There was one show that seemed to be in the Monty Python / zany skit show vein, except in German. Various sketches included pop singer Shaggy as a surgeon, a waiter who has a ridiculous time lifting light objects (such as the check), and Mary Jane taking Spider Man home to meet her parents (including such hilarious images as Spider Man trying to smoke a cigarette, but realizing that he has no mouth hole in his mask). American TV writers could take notes.
The hotel had a wonderful breakfast buffet. Everyone’s always saying how breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but all they ever give you to eat for it is some soggy cereal and dry pancakes. Maybe a few slivers of extra-greasy bacon if you’re lucky. But whoever set up that breakfast buffet knows how to eat a meal! All sorts of meats, cheese, fruits…and at least five or six types of juice, too. Tomato, papaya, mango, pineapple…now that’s good eatin’!
Um…their friendly local Evil Heartless Megaconglomerate™ seemed to be something called Mövenpick…seemed to have their hands in everything from hotels to ice cream. Food didn’t taste drastically different from over here (but as I said, we were in the more tourist-y areas)…weather was very pleasant. Snowing on top of the mountains, but other than that, it was divine (as opposed to the heat wave NY is apparently going through…woo-hoo). Almost got booted from the plane because the souvenir pick-axes / walking sticks my mother bought looked a bit suspicious. And, yes, we bought both cukoo clocks and chocolate.
Or at least the folks did. I didn’t spend much of my Swiss money (preferring to trade it in for US cash and buy DVDs now that I’m home)…I mostly just picked up the few items of litter I found lying around, which were invariably interesting and will doubtlessly provide more vivid memories than any cukoo clock could (a nice blue tie with some sort of Eastern writing on the bottom of it, a coaster with a picture of some drunken monks, etc.). Watched The Emperor’s New Groove on the flight home, as well as an amusing Britcom called The Savages, a not-so-amusing Britcom called My Hero, and a particularly unamusing episode of Friends. Also saw a bit of both Enemy at the Gate and Crocodile Dundee in LA (both of which struck me as incredibly boring, but they showed the same movies three times over on their respective channels, and I wasn’t going to watch TENG three times over). I finally gave up on the movies and started reading Mary Higgins Clark’s The Cradle Will Fall, which is turning out quite nicely…I’m already about a quarter through it. It’s a nice mystery, which really isn’t a mystery at all, since we find out who did it almost right off the bat, but the fascinating part is watching the prosecutors and forensics and police trying to piece everything together, and seeing how close or far they come to the truth as they find each new clue. Also some veiled commentary on medicine and what happens when doctors take too much into their own hands.
So, on a scale of one to ten, I would give The Cradle Will Fall a 9. I found it electrifyingly suspenseful…surefire…superb, engrossing, suspenseful…the reader is touched and involved and caught up in the terror! So, until next week, happy reading!
-C
Blame it on the jet lag. Or the sugar. Or having been the first American brave enough to actually view part of Crocodile Dundee in LA. Take your pick.
Nah, wait. Lemme start again.
Hey, everybody! I just got back from Switzerland! There was a bit less international intrigue than one might have suspected from my previous message. But I did steal two dozen sugar cubes from a little bistro and smuggled them past customs back into the States. They’re a great pick-me-up for my jet lag!
Country as a whole seemed a lot more Americanized than I expected it to be. I was hoping to commune with nature and run free in the hills and stuff. But most of the places that I got dragged to seemed to be mostly tourist-trap setups (paths and fences telling where you could and couldn’t walk, souvenir stands and restaurants strewn liberally about). Someday when I’m older maybe I’ll go back and try to find some less-trodden paths to explore. The scenery was breathtaking though.
The thing that most struck me was how idyllic everything was. Maybe it was just because I didn’t have a clue what anybody was saying (we visited the German sector of the country mostly), but everyone seemed incredibly kind and understanding when you got in their way or inadvertently dropped heavy objects on their heads. I’m used to seeing caricatures of Europeans on TV cursing and spitting at American tourists, so I was shocked to find how much they tolerated my stupidity.
Everyone seemed even more easy-going than me, too—I don’t think I saw one native of the country get stressed out over anything or rush anywhere or push people out of their way in aggravation. Everything moved at a wonderfully leisurely pace—and yet everything was still much more punctual than anyplace I’ve ever been on this side of the pond. The train connections were precisely planned to give everyone enough time to switch over, without ever having to sit in the station for more than a few minutes. The boats, the planes—everything left right on time. It was like a dream…an amazing thing to behold.
Cleanliness…do you want to hear about cleanliness? No? Well, tough. It *is* next to godliness, you know, and if it’s good enough for Him, it’s good enough for you, darnit.
Yeah…everything was immaculate. Every street, every building, every city, every everything…they don’t have nearly as much of the “national pride” propaganda stuff as we do in the States, but people seemed to respect the land a lot more than a lot of people here do. Lot of smoking though. If you want to go to Switzerland for the fresh, unspoiled air, definitely stay away from any large civilizations. *coff coff*
Culturally, everything seemed pretty similar to America, except that pornography is a lot more accepted. Superhero comic books aren’t really sold there (sorry, Brainatra ;), with the D*sney books seeming to be the big sellers. I bought one of the German-language D*sney books as a souvenir (something called “Walt Disney’s Lustiges Taschenbuch”—seems to be the Dutch equivalent of “Walt Disney’s Comics & Stories”). I can’t read a word of it, but there’s some nice pictures. My favorite story involves Donald dating a fashion model, and Daisy retaliating by going out with Gladstone Gander. The story has some nice zany art. Besides, the way I figure it, any comic that ends with Uncle Scrooge terrorizing passers-by by angrily swinging an oversized club with nails in it has to be pretty darn good, no matter what he’s saying.
TV was fun. We got about thirty channels, which played a variety of German, French, English, and Italian programs. Lots of dubs of US shows (including Columbo’s Identity Crisis with Patrick McGoohan, and a Perry Mason episode). Saw a German dub of the TTA “Fields of Honey” episode, and the voices were surprisingly true to the originals. The most amusing bit was hearing the dubbed actress imitating (quite well) Tress’ interpretation of Babs doing Pee Wee Herman. A few parts were left in the original English (Bosko & Honey’s rendition of “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” and Babs’ newspaper-selling rap song, as well as Porky Pig’s “That’s All, Folks!”—although Bosko saying “That’s all, folks!” a few minutes later was redubbed in German). Noted that the original American credits were left intact, though (and the dubbers went uncredited).
The only US stations we got were CNN, MTV, and Cartoon Network. CN was pretty close to our version, except all the commercials and the main titles of all the shows were redone in French. This made very little sense to me, since the programs themselves were in English…but go fig. Also saw a block of Disney programs dubbed in French—the Rescue Rangers episode with Monterey Jack’s old flame (who had an even stronger accent than the rest, since she was a stereotypical French character in the original), “The Brave Little Tailor” and “Mickey’s Polo Team” (the latter of which was undubbed, since the only dialogue is Donald’s nigh-incoherent squawkings), and some Timon & Pumbaa episode involving them joining a toga sorority.
Also lots of dubs of older sitcoms, which were ten times funnier than the original English versions because we could make up our own dialogue. The best stuff by far, though, was their original programming. There was one show that seemed to be in the Monty Python / zany skit show vein, except in German. Various sketches included pop singer Shaggy as a surgeon, a waiter who has a ridiculous time lifting light objects (such as the check), and Mary Jane taking Spider Man home to meet her parents (including such hilarious images as Spider Man trying to smoke a cigarette, but realizing that he has no mouth hole in his mask). American TV writers could take notes.
The hotel had a wonderful breakfast buffet. Everyone’s always saying how breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but all they ever give you to eat for it is some soggy cereal and dry pancakes. Maybe a few slivers of extra-greasy bacon if you’re lucky. But whoever set up that breakfast buffet knows how to eat a meal! All sorts of meats, cheese, fruits…and at least five or six types of juice, too. Tomato, papaya, mango, pineapple…now that’s good eatin’!
Um…their friendly local Evil Heartless Megaconglomerate™ seemed to be something called Mövenpick…seemed to have their hands in everything from hotels to ice cream. Food didn’t taste drastically different from over here (but as I said, we were in the more tourist-y areas)…weather was very pleasant. Snowing on top of the mountains, but other than that, it was divine (as opposed to the heat wave NY is apparently going through…woo-hoo). Almost got booted from the plane because the souvenir pick-axes / walking sticks my mother bought looked a bit suspicious. And, yes, we bought both cukoo clocks and chocolate.
Or at least the folks did. I didn’t spend much of my Swiss money (preferring to trade it in for US cash and buy DVDs now that I’m home)…I mostly just picked up the few items of litter I found lying around, which were invariably interesting and will doubtlessly provide more vivid memories than any cukoo clock could (a nice blue tie with some sort of Eastern writing on the bottom of it, a coaster with a picture of some drunken monks, etc.). Watched The Emperor’s New Groove on the flight home, as well as an amusing Britcom called The Savages, a not-so-amusing Britcom called My Hero, and a particularly unamusing episode of Friends. Also saw a bit of both Enemy at the Gate and Crocodile Dundee in LA (both of which struck me as incredibly boring, but they showed the same movies three times over on their respective channels, and I wasn’t going to watch TENG three times over). I finally gave up on the movies and started reading Mary Higgins Clark’s The Cradle Will Fall, which is turning out quite nicely…I’m already about a quarter through it. It’s a nice mystery, which really isn’t a mystery at all, since we find out who did it almost right off the bat, but the fascinating part is watching the prosecutors and forensics and police trying to piece everything together, and seeing how close or far they come to the truth as they find each new clue. Also some veiled commentary on medicine and what happens when doctors take too much into their own hands.
So, on a scale of one to ten, I would give The Cradle Will Fall a 9. I found it electrifyingly suspenseful…surefire…superb, engrossing, suspenseful…the reader is touched and involved and caught up in the terror! So, until next week, happy reading!
-C
Blame it on the jet lag. Or the sugar. Or having been the first American brave enough to actually view part of Crocodile Dundee in LA. Take your pick.