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Dark Spider
07-03-2002, 12:54 AM
Hello, I am the Dark Spider (Kiyone's Husband, Resident Nostalgist, Girl Bait, Moderator of the Toonami and Video Games board, and other stuff, blah blah blah :) ).

I am here to post yet another one of my interesting adventures about stupid stuff...and this time it's not girl related! Oh yea, and be prepared because this is the most STUPIDEST thing I've written in awhile. I felt like a total tool typing this up, but I felt like posting a thread tonight, so might as well type about about my day.

Today's adventure involved my search around the city for a pair of Khaki Pants. You see, I just got hired to my first job...

*Everyone claps for Dark Spider*

...thanks you guys. Well, I got hired and one of my requirements is to get a pair of Khaki pants (that goes with the shirt supplied by the job). That seems like a simple task indeed...I mean how hard is it to find a pair of pants, I've been finding pants to wear for years now. How hard can it be...

Okay, first off, my city is in the middle of a heat wave! I went on my hunt at about 1PM so the city is well baked by that time. Seriously, its was like 95+ degrees outside. I had to wear two shirts because I sweat alot and the last thing I want is two huge sweat stains on my shirt. But I can take this heat because I was born in the summer and summer babies can take the heat. (BTW, my birthday is on JULY 22 :p )

Anyway, I had to stand out in the heat waiting for the bus. I stood there waiting a good 15 mins, sweating and carrying on. The bus never came...but luckily my brother did! My brother drives a really kick ass sports racing car, and he offered me a ride. I was more than happy for a ride...

The car ride was awesome. My brother was driving up the street at a really fast speed. The car was pressurized too, so I could actually feel the pressure on my ears as my brother was driving up the street in his super fast car. Not to mention that the car was air conditioned too. I was in heaven, until the ride was over. :(

My bro dropped me off at Old Navy...the (unofficial) Khaki capital of the World. So I browse around. The place is filled with girls and "abnormal" guys. Since Old Navy is god with Khaki's, its whole left wall was filled with shelves, upon racks of Khakis. I was literally in Khaki heaven here. So I start looking for my size (38X36). I'm not really that size, but it gives me the most comfort. Anyway, I am greeted with OUTRAGEOUS prices. C'mon, I am looking at $35 + :eek: . I only planned on spending about $20 at the most.

Since this was my first visit to Old Navy, I am unfamiliar with the store's layout. Not knowing this, I quickly go to the nearest clearance rack. I start looking through the rack and I'm greeted with pants that are much too short for me. All the while, I notice that everyone was looking at me funny. I disegarded it, and continued looking through the rack. It wasn't until I came across a pair of flares that I noticed that I was on the women's side of the store! I was immediately embarrased and dodged over to the men's side of the store. People who noticed this, lauged at me.

I looked at the men's clearance rack and saw nothing there, so I left Old Navy. For the God of Khakis, this place sucked alot. So I made my way through the hot sun and decided to stop off at Burger King for some water. I went inside and the lady asked me for my order. With her keys hot on the "push a button" register, she anticipated my order. But when I asked for some water, she was caught of guard. Water is free, so there was no need for the register and she was apparently pissed off at me because of this. She (very angrily I might add) gave me a cup a water so I could get the water from the soda fountain at the side of the store. I only looked at her in suprise. "What was her major malfunction" I thought.

I continued my journey to the Gap. They are known to sell plain clothes, and that includes, yes, KHAKIS! I go inside their air conditioned store and look around. I easily find their wide selection of Khakis and start pricing stuff. I fell down anime style when I saw that the lowest price was $40 :eek: . I went to the cashier and ask her if they had khakis that didn't cost $40, and she said "Uh...no". I quickly left that store.

I crossed the big street to the city's main plaza of stores. The first store I went to was Marshalls. Now if you don't know Marshalls, then the only thing you should know about them is that they sell defective clothing. They sell high priced clothing at VERY low prices because they usually have some kind of factory defect on them. Knowing this, I still ventured into the store looking for Khakis. Suprisingly, they had nothing in my size, and most of their clothing is still at ridiculously high prices. I saw a defective pair of pants priced at $56.... and they were originally $100.

I left this store and visited the Bon Ton. I already knew that the Bon Ton is a VERY expensive store, but I mainly went in here to use the bathroom. I still took it upon myself to look around the store. The average price of this store is $50, and was clearly out of my reach, so I went roaming around the store looking for the bathroom. The Bon Ton is mainly a women's store (with a VERY small men's department), so I was greeted with women's lingeruie (sp?) and other such stuff. Also worth mentioning was the fact that I was the only man in the store, and I was greeted with looks by women that suggested that I was invading their secret woman area full of underwear or something.

I went to the bathroom and left the store. The next stop was Wal Mart. Now I've never been inside of a Wal Mart before and this one had recently opened...or so I thought. I went inside of the place and I'm greeted with a "Who the hell are you?". I said that I was a customer and the guy was like "I don't know who the hell you are, but this store is not open yet. Get the (vulgur language) out of here!" I quickly came back at his little speech with a whole slew of vulgar words of my own. I left that store pretty disgusted.

My next stop was Bobs. I went in and I actually found a pair of khakis and the appropriate size at an affordable size!!! :) So the next thing to do was to try them on in the fitting room...to make sure that they fit before I took them home.

So I went to the fitting room and was greeted to a big mirror in a tiny booth. I have never looked myself in a big mirror like that, I started to admire my manly figure and stuff in the mirror j/k :p . But I do remember watching those specials where it shows surveillance footage of people undressing in fitting rooms and sick perverts actually get off on that kind of stuff. Knowing that fact, I was hesitant to try the pants on, but alas, I had to...

THE PANTS FITTED! My journey was over! :) So I happily paid the money for the pants ($15 :) ) and went home a happy sailor. My mother congratualated me on my fine journey, but she asked a question that ruined my fine moment...

"Did you remember to buy a belt?"

Uh, no I didn't remember to buy a belt. No mom, I was so absorbed in my search for the perfect pair of khakis, that I forgot about a belt, which I GREATLY needed. I was royally pissed...

And so ends Dark Spider's Journey for the elusive pair of Khaki pants. I have to tell you that this was the most STUPIDEST thing that I've posted at TZ up to date...but all of this stuff did happen actually happen to me. Tell me your comments about this journey....and stay tuned for Dark Spider's Journey for the Elusive Belt... (never mind, I've decided to spare you the insanity)

Majin_Megabyte
07-03-2002, 01:06 AM
LOL, I just felt so bad for you DS-Sama.

Allen's Nickname.
07-03-2002, 01:37 AM
Spider, Spider, Spider.

One of my life's mottos:

Goodwill does good things.

I mean, their stuff is dirt cheap, they give disabled people jobs, and they do all sorts good things for charity. So, what have we learned from this post children?

Everyone: Goodwill does good things Spaz.

Me: Right.

Calhoun07
07-03-2002, 03:57 PM
Exactly what are khakis? I work two jobs, one that requires khakis and one that doesn't allow them. I buy Farah pants from Wal Mart (most comfortable pants I've ever owned, I would be lost if they discontinued the line) and the tan colored ones work just fine at the job that requires khakis. I got a more olive/brown colored pair and tried wearing it once, and the store manager told me those weren't khakis. Uh....so is khaki a style of pants or a color? Because the olive/brownish colored pair was from the exact same line as my tan colored pants, and they look the same, just a darker shade of brown with a hint of olive.

Now at my full time job, which says I can't wear khakis, I can wear these pants every day and they say nothing (not the same pair! I buy several colors from the same line). So exactly what are khaki pants?

VashTheStampede
07-03-2002, 04:36 PM
My school uniform requires Khaki pants, so I got like five pairs.

Danielle
07-03-2002, 05:04 PM
I suppose khakis are a style and a colour. There might have been a main colour for khaki, but then there were other colours that looked similar to khaki, and then they became khaki. Kinda like uniforms at a school; a girl comes with a brown skirt and claims: "Oh no, sir! It's part of the dress code; see, it's khaki!" :rolleyes:

Dark Spider
07-03-2002, 08:27 PM
From what I understand, Khakis are just slacks of a brown/light brown color. They are made out of a thin material, unlike regular jeans. Because khakis are almost like dress pants (but more duarable), they are great for uniform jobs (like mine) and semi formal occasions. They are not tacky looking like normal jeans, yet, they aren't too flashy like dress pants.

Singin' Stray Cat
07-03-2002, 09:41 PM
Man, what a story! Glad you didn't wind up empty-handed, though. :)

If it's any consolation, I usually drive myself crazy whenever I go shopping for a pair of decent jean shorts. Now there's an impossible task for ya... :rolleyes: :p

Calhoun07
07-04-2002, 03:46 AM
I just hate shopping for clothes in general. I take care of what I have so I don't have to go out to buy new things too often unless they wear out. And I am fairly faithful to brands I like. I am usually dressed in head to toe with Wal Mart clothes (Farah and Puritan all the way!) I find a few good brands I like, go to their rack and if I don't see what I like, I leave. I hate making a ritual out of shopping for clothes, and I despise it if I can't just walk in, get what I want, and leave.

Now, if I am shopping for DVDs, that's when my rituals and browsing forever begins!