Movies so bad you shouldn't watch them when your sober.

[I.R Joey]

Yeah, I thought we'd steal IGN's titles and make out own list. I'll start.

Batman and Robin. Goodness what where they thinking? A credit card for Batman ahhh!!! Oh well as I try to flush these memories from my mind think of your own.

[DarkAngel]

Originally posted by I.R Joey
Batman and Robin. Goodness what where they thinking? A credit card for Batman ahhh!!! Oh well as I try to flush these memories from my mind think of your own.

Yeah, Batman and Robin woud be my choice to. A horrendous (sp?) movie.

[Trent Lane]

any movie with Shaq in it. The man can play some basketball, but as for acting, well....

[icecold]

Any of the Rocky sequels, 5 in particular, Superman 4, The Crow: City of Angels, and Battlefield Earth. (those are just some of the bad ones I've seen recently.)

[James Harvey]

Bad movies? BATMAN & ROBIN, STEEL, KAZAAM, SPAWN, BATTLEFEILD: EARTH, TOMB RAIDER, WING COMMANDER, and a host more...

[DR. BELCH]

--Candy. That one came off as a skin flick trying to be artistic, with every guy the nubile, naive, and virginal heroine meets trying to get into her pants every two minutes, from a Mexican gardener to a drunken poet to a soldier to a doctor. Hell, at one point even her uncle (played by John Astin) tried to seduce her on his dying brother's sickbed. I watched three-quarters of it before I got so confused by the inexplicable d***ed thing I crawled off to bed. A lot of big-name stars must have been hard-up for money in 1968 if they got together for this chozzerai....

[Calhoun07]

Hollow Man, Godzilla (the american one), Sugar and Spice, Wing Commander, and Starship Troopers all made me feel like I wasted a part of my life watching them. And Half Baked. I saw it when a friend of mine dragged me to see it at the theater. Awful, awful, awful.

[James Harvey]

There's so many terribly bad movies these days that it's starting to become harder and harder to keep count. There haven't been too many great movies recently.

[Calhoun07]

That goes without saying. I think only about 20% of what comes out is actually worth paying attention to.

Another movie I wish I had never bought on DVD...The Specials. Did you ever see that one, DG? It might be good for some, but I hated it.

[Bird Boy]

I thought Gattaca was a stupid movie..real stupid. Lets see..yeah, B&R sucked...I can't think of any more..but there others..oh yes..there are others..

-BB

[Nightflower]

Simply Irresistable (Pure fluff), Freddy got Fingered (Got "-1" stars in some Canadian Newspaper).

[killercroc]

Never Been Kissed! God that movie sucked!

[Lachesis]

Arrrrr. . .

the remake of "Invasion if the Body Snatchers" from the '90s, "Starship Troopers," "The Stupids," "Road Trip," and "Street Fighter."

Tom Green and David Arquette should be shipped to Abu Dhabi.

[mxyzptlk]

ms. congeniality, stipes, godzilla, mafia, and ninja turtles 3.

[Calhoun07]

Originally posted by Bird_Boy
I thought Gattaca was a stupid movie..real stupid. Lets see..yeah, B&R sucked...I can't think of any more..but there others..oh yes..there are others..

-BB

Gattaca was a great film, a real great movie to make you think. I don't know what you were expecting from it, but I felt this movie delivered beyond what I expected. And I saw it in a theater, and the audience was all like wise blown away by the ending. It is the first movie I walked out of where nobody talked to each other. You just had to think about what you saw, it was that deep.

[The Mad Hatter]

I dug Gattaca too. Sure, it doesn't have big action or many awesome set pieces, but it does have some great characters and a deep philisophical quandary. Then again, I tend to like introspective, ponderous films... anyone else dig My Dinner with Andre?

Erf. I don't really have too many movies to offer that haven't already been mentioned, though Barb Wire was pretty atricious too. And I'll have to agree with what was said above... movies as a whole do seem to be getting a bit worse lately. Here's hoping we're just in a dry spell...

[killercroc]

Originally posted by calhoun07


Gattaca was a great film, a real great movie to make you think. I don't know what you were expecting from it, but I felt this movie delivered beyond what I expected. And I saw it in a theater, and the audience was all like wise blown away by the ending. It is the first movie I walked out of where nobody talked to each other. You just had to think about what you saw, it was that deep.
I wouldn't say it sucked, but I didn't get any of that. I didn't think the concept was that original, but I read a lot of Sci Fi. It didn't really blow my mind like I hoped it would.

You could compare it to the Matrix. Neat concept, though it's been done before in Sci Fi. Only exception is the Matrix had some Kick ass FX. Take that away and I don't think I would have been near as impressed with the Matrix.

Let's please not turn this into another one of those Matrix wars we had.

Hatter-- I agree also about movies going downhill. The only ones I've seen this summer are Shrek and Final Fantasy. Shrek was pretty good, but I've seen better episodes of Batman, Buffy, etc.

Final Fantasy could have benefitted from one more rewrite. Punch up the ending a little and give a little more plot info and it would have been a good movie. Anyway, I've seen better TV than FF, also.

[Lonestarr]

Originally posted by killercroc
Never Been Kissed! God that movie sucked!

I certainly agree. Watching that film was like having teeth pulled combined with watching paint dry. Whereas watching "Welcome to the Dollhouse" was just like having teeth pulled. Other films I'd rather never see again:

Valentine
King Cobra
Critters
Poltergeist 2
Batman and Robin

[Calhoun07]

Originally posted by Lonestarr29


I certainly agree. Watching that film was like having teeth pulled combined with watching paint dry. Whereas watching "Welcome to the Dollhouse" was just like having teeth pulled.

I loved Welcome to the Dollhouse, too! It would easilly make any top ten comedies list I might compile.

[Calhoun07]

Originally posted by The Mad Hatter
I dug Gattaca too. Sure, it doesn't have big action or many awesome set pieces, but it does have some great characters and a deep philisophical quandary. Then again, I tend to like introspective, ponderous films... anyone else dig My Dinner with Andre?


My Dinner with Andre is a great movie, no doubt about it. I don';t believe that is on DVD yet, is it? The entire movie was cool, but when they started talking about that one gathering where they were throwing that teddy bear around...they kinda lost me there. That was just a little wierd. but I liked it very much.

[James]

Hollow Man, Godzilla (the american one), Sugar and Spice, Wing Commander, and Starship Troopers all made me feel like I wasted a part of my life watching them. And Half Baked. I saw it when a friend of mine dragged me to see it at the theater. Awful, awful, awful.

I loved Starship Troopers. It's one of my favourite films of the nineties. I think that film is highly misunderstood. Their are many levels that film plays at - each I find provocative to propaganda and to military treatment that clouds every war we've had this past century!

Anyway, hated films..... hmm. Batman & Robin ain't one of them. I'll happily stand out here and say that. Provided you watch the film expecting the same sort of value as the 60's TV series, I find the film reasonably watchable. As part of the Warner Bros franchise it's deplorable, but there is a light comic value to it which sends up the genre. Leave you're head at home and just TRY and enjoy it. It's bad, but not all time worst bad!!

BAD Films.....

Long Kiss Goodnight
Pearl Harbour
Swamp Thing
The Punisher!!!
Captain America!!!

[RockItShipper]

Bounce and Boys&Girls spring to mind. And seeing the preview for the Princess Diaries made me sick. I was so happy my cousin and his dad had no interest in it either, so we got to go see Planet of the Apes

[Calhoun07]

Originally posted by SJJ


I loved Starship Troopers. It's one of my favourite films of the nineties. I think that film is highly misunderstood. Their are many levels that film plays at - each I find provocative to propaganda and to military treatment that clouds every war we've had this past century!



I understand Starship Troopers, just thought the book was better. I think the TV series fleshes out some of the other levels of the book more.

[DR. BELCH]

RockItShipper:

[S]eeing the preview for The Princess Diaries made me sick... [M]y cousin and his dad had no interest in it either, so we got to go see Planet of the Apes.
Actually, I don't like the previews for POTA at all. Like I said, it's like rewriting the Bible in pig Latin to remake a classic like that. I guess I'm a little too old-school and prejudiced...for all I know it's better than the previews make it look (it'd almost have to be). Princess Diaries is a "chick flick" I might watch if I were with a girl who liked stuff like that and Terms of Endearment...and in exchange I'd try to get her to watch The Exorcist or a skin flick for me. Tit for tat, you know. Actually, from the previews, it looks like another take on George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion, which has to be one of the most done and redone plays not written by Shakespeare. I'm still waiting for an adaptation of Lady Chatterley's Lover, which to my knowledge has yet to be made.
I note that all the movies on you guys' hit lists are recent efforts, though. Mine is the only one that's pre-1970. Movies sucked then too, after all.

[Colin]

Personally, I can't believe I actually sat thru the Blair Witch Project. With all the hype that surrounded that movie, it was such a disappointment. And why the heck wasn't the theatre giving out complementary Barf Bags with each showing??? Ugh... That's $7 I could have spent better....

[Calhoun07]

I wanted to add Half Baked. I thought that movie was utterly worthless.

[RockItShipper]

Originally posted by DR. BELCH
[b]
I note that all the movies on you guys' hit lists are recent efforts, though. Mine is the only one that's pre-1970. Movies sucked then too, after all.

But where can you find them? Mystery Science Theater is probably the only regular source of pre-70s bad movies on tv. Modern films have far more cable channels than pre-70s fare does, leaving more room to show the near-misses, the ones still ahead of the times and the just plain bad. It's the cream-of-the-crop, the exceptionally bad, and the "ahead of the time" ones that get more rentals/tv airings/etc...

[Trent Lane]

Originally posted by Colin
Personally, I can't believe I actually sat thru the Blair Witch Project. With all the hype that surrounded that movie, it was such a disappointment. And why the heck wasn't the theatre giving out complementary Barf Bags with each showing??? Ugh... That's $7 I could have spent better....

Okay, glad to see someone else was made sick by Blair Witch. I sat close to the front and on my way out I drop to me knees and felt like I was going to puke... Needless to say, I never saw BW2, because of the forementioned and the fact that a sequel to that movie would royally suck...

[Trent Lane]

And BTW, I thought Half Baked was a pretty funny movie. I wish I could quit like the guy at the burger place...

[Calhoun07]

Originally posted by RockItShipper


But where can you find them? Mystery Science Theater is probably the only regular source of pre-70s bad movies on tv. Modern films have far more cable channels than pre-70s fare does, leaving more room to show the near-misses, the ones still ahead of the times and the just plain bad. It's the cream-of-the-crop, the exceptionally bad, and the "ahead of the time" ones that get more rentals/tv airings/etc...

You have a DVD player? MGM is releasing many, many "great" B Movies under their Midnite Movies banner. Some pretty cool, campy stuff, too, is available! DVD is a great source for good "bad" old movies.

[Calhoun07]

Originally posted by flhero311


Okay, glad to see someone else was made sick by Blair Witch. I sat close to the front and on my way out I drop to me knees and felt like I was going to puke... Needless to say, I never saw BW2, because of the forementioned and the fact that a sequel to that movie would royally suck...

I never saw Blair Witch, but can understand how the camera movements in that movie would make people literally sick. I became very sick when I'd see the music video for "Yellow" by Coldplay. They do this video trick of him walking on the beach and having the sun come up rather rapidly behind him while he walks on the beach. It's too obvious that this is a camera trick, and the horizon moves too much as they try to put the two images together. It's hard to explain without having somebody watch it, but when the horizon is moving around against the sky like that, I really do feel sick to my stomach and want to puke. You'd have to see the video to know what I am talking about.

anyway, I heard Blair Witch 2 is actually worse. The only exposure I have to the Blair Witch legend are the comic books, which are pretty good.

[DR. BELCH]

But where can you find them?
Candy, my pick, was on MoreMax (which also ran Orgazmo just last week). AMC and TCM run movies dating back to the thirties, and though I hate to bash classics, I'm sure you can find bad ones (sometime I've got to see Weismuller's later stuff as Jungle Jim, after his bum got too big to fit in the Tarzan skin). Even the Three Stooges did a few stinkers (notably during Curly's illness, after Shemp became ill and they started remaking his shorts, or with Besser and DeRita--Snow White and the Three Stooges, anyone?) Plus you can rent them on DVD and VHS. Care to haunt Amazon.com with me sometime? I bet we could dig up some great stuff....
Saw Blair Witch, and actually wasn't even sure what it was about half the time--weird cinematography and incomprehensible plot. But I've seen worse. Actually, I dug the pornie remake of the movie, The Blonde Wench Project.
Road Trip is on a couple of lists. I actually rather liked that one because I find Tom Green amusing in small doses (my concern about Freddy Got Fingered is that he's spreading himself too thin; I still say he's the Canadian Chris Elliot). Plus I'm curious to see if that finger trick actually works....

[Failure]

Personally, I can't believe I actually sat thru the Blair Witch Project. With all the hype that surrounded that movie, it was such a disappointment.

I completely agree. While not the worst movie I've seen. I expected myself to be afraid to live after seeing that movie. I think all I learned from seeing that is that people scare way too easy.

[freebooter]

It seems like you are not listing "movies you shouldn't watch sober," but movies you shouldn't watch at all. They are too boring. They won't hold your attention.

Leprechaun 5 (aka Lep in the Hood) has to be the most unintentionally funny movie I have ever seen . -Actually, alot of the stuff in that movie had to be purposely comical b/c the whole thing was just too rediculous. I recomend watching it in a group of four or more.


Gattaca and Star Ship Troopers were ultra schway. They don't belong in this thread.

[Maxie Zeus]

Originally posted by RockItShipper

But where can you find them? Mystery Science Theater is probably the only regular source of pre-70s bad movies on tv. Modern films have far more cable channels than pre-70s fare does, leaving more room to show the near-misses, the ones still ahead of the times and the just plain bad. It's the cream-of-the-crop, the exceptionally bad, and the "ahead of the time" ones that get more rentals/tv airings/etc...

Well, TCM did show "Sh! The Octopus!" which is a really bad movie from 1936 or so. And I swear that AMC's entire sked is something that could only bring joy to the heart of a devotee of true crap.

[Kylewayne]

There have been a lot of bad movies that I wish I hadn't seen...but these are at the top of my list The 13th Warrior ...What the heck was that movie all about! The ending sucked too.
Another one is Haunted Hill with Katherine Zeta Jones...I was expecting to be spooked during the movie but nothing ...nada...it made me laugh more than making me jump of my seat. A real disappointment for a "horror movie"
Well, those are the ones that come to mind. Ooops! I forgot the Travolta movie Battlefield Earth .



http://www.okieday.com/katherine/kawaiikatt.gif Hello!

[Maxie Zeus]

Originally posted by kylewayne
Another one is Haunted Hill with Katherine Zeta Jones...I was expecting to be spooked during the movie but nothing ...nada...it made me laugh more than making me jump of my seat. A real disappointment for a "horror movie"

Is this that remake of "The Haunting," or was she in another bad horror film? If this is that remake I am with you 100%. Yikes, did that reek.

By any chance have you seen the original 1960s version?

[Bud 'n Lou]

Actually, The House on Haunted Hill was the one with Famke Janssen and that irritating SNL guy. The Haunting had Catherine Zeta-Jones. The original title was The Haunting of Hill House, but since the movies were coming out at around the same time, they changed the title to avoid confusion. Both were remakes. Both sucked.
Edited to add that I saw the original versions of both, and enjoyed them. Haunted Hill was a Vincent Price flick, and I like most of his movies.

[Maxie Zeus]

Originally posted by Bud 'n Lou
Actually, The House on Haunted Hill was the one with Famke Janssen and that irritating SNL guy. The Haunting had Catherine Zeta-Jones. The original title was The Haunting of Hill House, but since the movies were coming out at around the same time, they changed the title to avoid confusion. Both were remakes. Both sucked.
Edited to add that I saw the original versions of both, and enjoyed them. Haunted Hill was a Vincent Price flick, and I like most of his movies.

I haven't seen either version of "The House on Haunted Hill." But I too think the original "The Haunting" was excellent. I showed it to some friends about a year or so ago. They were fairly dismissive of it for the first 20 minutes or so (C'mon, it's B&W and made way back when!) But the "knocking" scene shut them up pretty good, and by the end they had a solid case of the creeps.

Shirley Jackson's novel "The Haunting of Hill House," on which it is based, is very good.

[Kylewayne]

Ooops!...my mistake the movie was "The Haunting" got confused with the other movie. :)

[James]

Puma Man was the best worst movie I've seen (another MST3K offering) that is very much recommended if you spot it on the late night schedules (heaven forbid if you find it on prime time - shoot the scheduler!) :)

[James Harvey]

Starship Troopers was one of the worst things ever put to film. Sometimes I wqonder if the actors were picked specifically for their wooden, lifeless, bland acting. The CGI Troopers had more emotion then them! Leprecaun In Space is pretty bad. It's one of those low-key horror flicks where the torn off just right on the girl asnd the guy runs around shirtless. With a budget rivalling that of a Disney made for TV movie, you can see how bad that'd be.

[freebooter]

Star Ship Troopers was great! I've seen it so many times, I've started to appreciate it on multiple levels; like for it's excellent camera angles. Sure the acting was bad, but it takes more than acting to make a good movie.

And I never recomended Leprechaun in Space. B/c of our satisfaction with Lep in the Hood, my friends and I rented Leprichaun in Space a few weeks later. Unfortunately, it was no where near as good as it's successor.

When Butch, Postmaster P, and Stray Bullet loot the local hip-hop mogul's studio to fund their demo album, the threesome unwittingly ends up with the secret of Mack Daddy's success: a magical flute. Their gigs instantly turn golden but a blood-thirsty Leprechaun and an angry Mack Daddy are hot on their trail, leaving a wake of destruction tainted by politically incorrect limericks.

From the back of the Lep in the Hood box

The leprechaun raps during the entire movie! And he smokes weed! -Drugs are bad, and if you do drugs you're bad, 'cause drugs are bad, mmmkay

[James Harvey]

Lepruachan does dope? No way??! Hilarious! Another movie that you should never watch sober, I'd like to recommend Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes. The movie, starring George Clooney is a seriously messed up movie with one actual good scnee, a spoof on ninjas. Other than that, it belongs in the trash next to SHowgirls.

[Trent Lane]

I thought From Dusk Till Dawn was a pretty bad movie. QT has never really impressed me with his stuff. The only reason I watched this movie is because I'm a big fan of Juliette Lewis' moives, so I figured I'd give this one a chance... I figured wrong.

Starship Troopers is okay at best. I've only watched it once, and it wasn't one of those movies that really got me. It's average. But Wing Commander, it was a step above crap. If the would have made the villians more... lifelike, instead of guys with puppet cat heads on, that would've helped it be better. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. A LOT more would need to be worked on, ie boot Prinze and Lillard out into space and let their heads explode;)

[Calhoun07]

Red Planet was also a very, very bad movie. The whole robotic dog that attacks thing just never sat well with me. Just turn the friggin dog OFF.

[DR. BELCH]

1998's The Adventures of Laurel and Hardy: For Love or Mummy (Bronson Pinchot and Gaylord Sartain as the lookalike grand-nephews of the famous comic duo is an insult to Stan and Olly, and the script is manure) and 1997's Attack of the Killer Condoms (a gay porn movie about prophalactics that bite men's cojones off. Who ever thought it'd be a good idea to film a movie set in New York, but all in German? I turned it off after about a half-hour.).

[Calhoun07]

Originally posted by DR. BELCH
1998's The Adventures of Laurel and Hardy: For Love or Mummy (Bronson Pinchot and Gaylord Sartain as the lookalike grand-nephews of the famous comic duo is an insult to Stan and Olly, and the script is manure) and 1997's Attack of the Killer Condoms (a gay porn movie about prophalactics that bite men's cojones off. Who ever thought it'd be a good idea to film a movie set in New York, but all in German? I turned it off after about a half-hour.).

Dr Belch, I really don't want to know where you go to get your videos and/or DVDs!

Bronson Pinchot...? Wasn't he the foriegn man in the incredibly lame sit com Perfect Strangers?

[DR. BELCH]

--many of these d***ed things run on cable. No way in blazes I'm paying good money to buy this chozzerai on VHS or DVD.
Yes, Pinchot was Balki Bartokomous in Perfect Strangers...and Gaylord Sartain was the obese man on Hee Haw and several of Jim Varney's Ernest movies. Come to think of it, the last few of those were stinkers too!

[Calhoun07]

Originally posted by DR. BELCH
--many of these d***ed things run on cable. No way in blazes I'm paying good money to buy this chozzerai on VHS or DVD.
Yes, Pinchot was Balki Bartokomous in Perfect Strangers...and Gaylord Sartain was the obese man on Hee Haw and several of Jim Varney's Ernest movies. Come to think of it, the last few of those were stinkers too!

Then I say you're paying too much for cable! They should be paying you to watch those movies!

[James]

Flhero311:
I thought From Dusk Till Dawn was a pretty bad movie. QT has never really impressed me with his stuff. The only reason I watched this movie is because I'm a big fan of Juliette Lewis' moives, so I figured I'd give this one a chance... I figured wrong.

Ooh, I like Dusk Till Dawn. I have a lot of respect for the guy. I won't go out of my way to see a QT film, but I found Pulp Fiction a refreshing change to the standard Hollywood mishmash and still a quality film by today's rather lack lustre standards.

I went to see Dusk Till Dawn nothing squat about the plot and I can say that it is the best way to see the film. The sudden intention shift and genre from serious QT to Lost Boys teen horror gives the film an almost cathartic release. I've seen very few scenes try genre swapping (perhaps it's poor critical reception is a reason why!!).

Not wanting to hark back to Starship Troopers again, but that to me is another film which treads a rather unique line. I love it for it's black humour.

Both films really do fall into that catagory of 'love it or hate it'.

[Trent Lane]

Love or hate is right. My friend is crazy about this movie, but I just didn't like it. Then again, I think Tank Girl is a pretty cool movie and a lot of people I know hate it. Go figure...

[Calhoun07]

There are some movies I really like that other people I know don't care much for.

Mystery Men, Election, Office Space, and Dude Where's My Car? are four I thought of right off the top of my head. But more often than not, the people who tell me they don't like these movies have never seen them. I know somebody who thinks Dude Where's My Car is a stoner movie like Half Baked and has sworn to just hate that movie, but it's not anything like that. The dog smokes a bowl in there, but I think that's about it.

[Jowy Blight]

I once had to take my sister to the 1st Rugrats movie. The whole movie I wanted to rip my hair out. Has anyone ever had to watch this tripe? It was the worst movie I had ever seen,I kep asking myself if god was punishing me. But on the plus side, I did fall asleep half way into it.

I hope I never see a movie like this again.