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View Full Version : My review: ''Star Wars 2: Attack of the Clones''



don Jaime
05-15-2002, 10:03 AM
We got our prints in Tuesday and test ran them last night. The news is good: it's a lot better than The Phantom Menace, good enough to see, in fact. There are some mistakes that don't bring it up to the level of the original trilogy, though.

Hayden Christensen was inspired casting. He's such a bad actor you can believe the sub-quality child actor from TPM could grow up to be this "Dawson's Creek" reject. Most of the time Christensen is wooden, unless he's angry, then he screams a lot. Luckily for him, Natalie Portman is even worse and serves as a distraction. If she showed one emotion, I didn't catch it.

Jango Fett, on the other hand, got a good actor. I didn't catch his name, but he looks like Duane "The Rock" Johnson with scars and a low, Australian voice. He's scarier with helmet OFF. Sadly, Jango's reputation is overblown. He's a pitiful shot, he picks a fight with Mace Windu that barely lasts a minute, and Obi-Wan pretty much beats him bare-handed. Most of his action scenes make him look so klutzy, you finally understand why the Stormtroopers cloned from him couldn't hit the broad side of a nebula.

The other actors passed, too. Ewan McGregor is stuck in some needlessly twee scenes with Christensen early on, but after his detective work starts, he does fine, kind of like Jim Garner on "The Rockford Files." Samuel L. Jackson spends most of the movie meditating (Intense Staring with his Eyes Closed Action!) but gets a good confrontation scene to make up for it. We see Christopher Lee as Count Dooku (rhymes with cuckoo) and Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine are both excellent studies in quiet, hidden evil. Cropped and toned way down, Ahmed Best's Jar Jar Binks is not irritating, and I'm glad. C3PO is used in a ludicrous attempt at comic relief, but Anthony Daniels is voice actor enough to make you enjoy the situation even when you roll your eyes at it.

With so many special effects, some are bound to need work. There are too matte paintings and chromakeys that are clearly matte paintings and chromakeys. Too often there's so many effects happening at once they distract from what you're supposed to be looking at, like in Corus**** at rush hour our in the droid assembly plant. The best used effects come at the end, in the big battle and final lightsaber duel.

Best scene: Yoda. Our little crowd laughed and cheered the whole time. And that's all I have to say. If you know what this scene is, it's much better than you heard. If you don't know, it's worth the price of admission alone.

Worst scene: the Naboo kiss. Padme and Anakin are at a lake (looks like Como in Italy). She's wearing a dress Cher rejected as too revealing. He prods her like day-old meat in the school cafeteria, and then their lips meat. I thought of the MST3K crew's comment on a different movie: "He looks like a carp getting it on."

Unanswered questions: How can Owen Lars be a bearded late teenager when his mom only had him eight years ago? If Count Dooku is ex-Jedi and they all know him by reputation, how can the crawl call him "mysterious"? Are droid parts really that interchangable? If the whole movie hinges on protecting Padme, why doesn't she wear plain clothes and tell R2D2 to stop following her? The one time this does happen (at Anakin's suggestion) and they go to Naboo disguised as refugees, what are they supposed to be refugees from? What exactly is the plan to protect her? Does anyone have one?

Rating: Four stars out of five. You want to see.

DarkAngel
05-15-2002, 11:49 AM
Originally posted by don Jaime
Unanswered questions: How can Owen Lars be a bearded late teenager when his mom only had him eight years ago?


Just wanted to answer one of your questions:

When you refer to his mom having him only 8 years ago, you're referring to Shmi, right? She's not his biological mother. Owen was born before Shmi met Cliegg, I'm assuming from a previous marriage. Owen is Anakin's step-brother. I don't remember if the novel mentioned anything about the Lars before Shmi entered the picture, so I don't know who Owen's mother is.


Haven't seen the movie yet, only read the novel. Hopefully I'll be able to comment on some of your observations in the next couple days. If everything works out, I'll be seeing the movie soon.

RockItShipper
05-15-2002, 01:22 PM
I think the ROTJ novel mentions Owen Lars as being the brother of Obi-Wan.... But all in all, it's so much clearer as it's shown in AOTC.

I saw it last night... Anakin sure is wooden, but is it really a step down from a character that tromped around in a suit for three movies? Shmi's head flopping down the way it did got the audience giggling... Count Dooku's interesting in his fairly few scenes- I'm guessing the death of his former student helped turn him to the darkside, the separtist movement works well with his Sith ambitions to eventually overthrow Sidious, and why is he a Count at all? Is it because he saved a planet and got that honor, because his family is some form of royalty, or Count is his first name? :p Boba Fett is one creepy child all right, but it's interesting how both he and Anakin came into the world with only one biological parent and lose him/her before the credits roll.

HellCat
05-15-2002, 03:21 PM
Originally posted by RockItShipper
why is he a Count at all? Is it because he saved a planet and got that honor, because his family is some form of royalty, or Count is his first name?

Answer: Count Dooku comes from an extremely rich family. All the way through his time as a Jedi, he had an interest in the dark side. He was growing tired of how the Jedi were pawns for corrupt Senators. When Qui-Gon was killed, Dooku left the order. He returned to his birth right and invested his wealth into the creation of his Sepratist forces

Lucky Bob
05-15-2002, 03:25 PM
This isn't a spoiler. I just want to know, why are the Jedi looking for someone to "bring balance to the Force?" I mean, there are quite a few people on the Jedi council, and there are only two Sith at a time, apparently....

HellCat
05-15-2002, 03:31 PM
Originally posted by luckybob1985
This isn't a spoiler. I just want to know, why are the Jedi looking for someone to "bring balance to the Force?" I mean, there are quite a few people on the Jedi council, and there are only two Sith at a time, apparently....

The Force is made up of more then just the Jedi and Sith. EVERYTHING that lives in the galaxy has the Force flowing through it. At this point in the story, there are many Jedi but the dark side is clearly more powerful, because the Republic is corrupt and the Sith are taking advantage of this. The Jedi believe the chosen one will destroy the dark side and the corruption. As we see in eps 4-6, for that to happen both the Sith AND the Jedi must be eliminated

RockItShipper
05-15-2002, 04:52 PM
I think most of the Jedi assume that "balance to the Force" is something immediately beneficial. But I think Yoda has concern right off the bat when he meets the supposed "Chosen One" in Episode 1... The Force wants to end the Sith order and the current Jedi one. In the latter case, it's because the Jedi order as a whole has become smug and more inclined to deal with problems as they happen.

Knight
05-15-2002, 06:33 PM
I was wondering why the Sith are so powerful. It seems one Sith is capable of taking two Jedi's (as evident in this movie and the previous one) only Yoda looks like he is capable of beating a Sith by himself. Dooku was unimpressed with Obi wan's ability. But it was great to finally see what Yoda and Mace could do. I

Fallout Boy
05-15-2002, 07:41 PM
If the Chosen One destroys the Dark Side, how does that bring balance to the Force????

RogueMartian
05-16-2002, 03:13 AM
I have a more important question other than the horrible plot holes brought forth by the prequels:

When the DVDs finally come out, do we have to buy them in a six pack (in which case many people may not buy them, including myself) or can we just get IV,V, and VI. The latter option would make me a very happy martian.

RockItShipper
05-16-2002, 02:12 PM
Originally posted by Fallout Boy
If the Chosen One destroys the Dark Side, how does that bring balance to the Force????

Overall cleansing. The Sith have infilitrated government and the Jedi have become arrogant in the PT.

DR. BELCH
05-16-2002, 05:44 PM
"The Sith have infilitrated government and the Jedi have become arrogant in the PT."
I wonder if Lucas intended that to be an allegory for the American government...and even if he didn't, how many critics will insist he did? ;)
A lot of reviewers around here are pointing to the sharp constrast between fighting Yoda and peaceful Yoda. It'd seem the Force is all-infusing and actually turns one into a totally different person during the heat of battle. Perhaps Anakin isn't the only one with a duel personality....?
Oh, what I wouldn't give for tickets...and to get over this sore throat long enough to use them.... :rolleyes:

RockItShipper
05-16-2002, 07:04 PM
Lucas denied claims of allegory in the Time with Yoda on the cover... But then again, who wants to admit to allegory when the PT is filled with conflicts staged by Palpatine to get more and more power?

Fallout Boy
05-17-2002, 07:20 PM
Originally posted by RogueMartian
I have a more important question other than the horrible plot holes brought forth by the prequels:

When the DVDs finally come out, do we have to buy them in a six pack (in which case many people may not buy them, including myself) or can we just get IV,V, and VI. The latter option would make me a very happy martian.

I would buy a six-pack in a heartbeat, even though I already have TPM on DVD.