This Just In...

[Cartoon King]

...From the Acme Broadcasting Company News Desk...It seem a local Animal Rights Activist's Group has won a lawsuit against the Cartoon Network. CN is now banned from playing all Looney Tunes that show any kind of violence toward animals, up to and including hunting, stabbing, dropping anvils on their heads, blowing up, disintegrating, sticking their tails in garbage disposals, revolving doors and hanging the heads as hunting trophies. This being said, the only cartoons CN is now able to air are "High Note" and "Now Hear This."

AAAAAUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!! What a horrible nightmare! Just pray it doesn't come true!!!:eek:


"Being disintgrated makes me very angry!!!!"

[Argus Sventon]

Also just in from the Acme Broadcasting Company. Drunk driving groups have won a lawsuit challenging the showing of High Note, due to the fact that it portrays a drunk musical note.

As a result, Cartoon Network has had to revise its schedule. Bugs and Daffy has been cancelled, and the Looney Tunes Show will now be seen once a year on the first Saturday in May at 4:40 PM CT, to coincide with the Kentucky Derby.

WB will produce a new Looney Tune featuring the Goofy Gophers in The Goofy Gophers Meet Ronnie Marchant*.

*Ronnie Marchant, Birmingham furniture store owner, for at least the past 10 years, regularly holds "Going Out of Business" sales.

[grundle]

A group of hearing impaired Americans have protested the cartoon Now Hear This, claiming that the cartoon portrays a link between the use of hearing aids and Satan worship. In response to this protest, Cartoon Network has removed the offending cartoon from its play list.

As of this change, there are now zero Looney Tunes and Merry Melodies that are fit for broadcast on CN. Nevertheless, CN will continue with its 4 hour broadcast of Looney Tunes each Saturday and Sunday morning. The show will now be made up entirely of Anne Murray commercials.

[PorkyandDaffy]

This just in....

Cats every where are angry over the various Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies which stereotype cats as backyard fence-sitting, conniving, milk gulging sneaks! Cats all over the world are circling around Cartoon Network's studio, holding up pickett signs, and ordering them to ban all of these 'cat' cartoons. What does Sylvester Cat have to say about this whole situation?

Sylvester: "Thufferin' thucotath, Who careth?"

Tom Cat?

Tom: "OOWW-OOOO-OOOOH-WOOO-HOOO-HOOOO-HOOO!!!"

We will bring you more information on this when more news develops.

[DR. BELCH]

"A group of hearing impaired Americans have protested the cartoon Now Hear This, claiming that the cartoon portrays a link between the use of hearing aids and Satan worship."

Well, then, they'd beter not watch the Friday the 13th ep "Stick It in Your Ear". That's all about a cursed hearing aid that allows its wearer to read minds.

It gets worse, bub. I've heard talk that mice are protesting over being portrayed as violent, food-thieving, cat-harassing little pests, and have called for all Speedy Gonzales cartons to not be just banned, but the prints drenched in gasoline, set on fire, and thrown off the nearest high bridge. Same goes for all Tom and Jerry cartoons, the LT short "Fraidy Cat", and the one where Wadworth teaches a kitten how to hunt mice for him.
In addition, a group for the follically-challenged protest both Elmer Fudd (for having no hair) and Yosemite Sam (for having excessive hair). There is also talk of storks who are concerned about their longtime connection in the LT shorts with both alcoholism and neonatal responsibilities. :confused: ;)