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The Huntsman

09-02-2010, 01:15 PM

In 2012, the governments of the world began to collapse. No one is quite certain why. The United States was the first to fall, as despite the president’s efforts to preserve the union, the split was too sudden to resist. New England shattered, then the South and the West. Canada fell into anarchy shortly thereafter, as did Mexico and the various Caribbean nations. The rest of the world watched intently, as the whole ordeal had triggered an economic catastrophe on a previously unimagined scale and many governments across the world had fallen as well. Those who survived agreed to unite in an effort to prevent the chaos in North America from spreading throughout the world. They moved their forces into Alaska, Greenland and Iceland, and the means for North America communicate with the outside world was severed as well.

North America would have to look inward to find its salvation. Fortunately, a few select individuals rose to the occasion, forming new governments and scrambling to rebuild the glory that was North America. This is their story.

CURRENT MAP (http://www.fotoshack.us/fotos/21987Map.png)

MAJOR NATIONS

BEAST COAST
Leader: Lou Kochberg (chdr)
Government: Capitalist Democracy
Background: Politician
Color: Red
RES: 75 (per round +7)
HAP: 80% (per round +6)
MOR: 80%
WAR: 59%
Bonus: Increased Productivity, Naval Base (Atlantic), Radar Station, SAM Station, Second Wind

THE 5TH COUNTRY
Leader: Toby Adams (Jmill)
Government: Capitalist Dictatorship
Background: Psychologist
Color: Indigo
RES: 51 (per round +6)
HAP: 70% (per round +3)
MOR: 50%
WAR: 75%
Bonus: Experimental Bomb (Co-Owned), Naval Base (Atlantic), Persuasive, Radar Station, SAM Station

HOLLY
Leader: Pit Allen (SpideyFan914)
Government: Autocratic Dictatorship
Background: Secret Agent
Color: Orange
RES: 15 (per round +8)
HAP: 12% (per round +3)
MOR: 50%
WAR: 60%
Bonus: Diplomatic Ties, False Orders, Illicit Contacts, Militarty Experience, Radar Station, SAM Station, Spy Planes

THE NORTHERN REPUBLIC
Leader: Chancellor Martin Wellington (JAG)
Government: Capitalist Democracy
Background: Politician
Color: Brown
RES: 19 (per round +13)
HAP: 100% (per round +5)
MOR: 90%
WAR: 80%
Bonus: Increased Productivty, Naval Base (Arctic), Naval Base (Pacific), Radar Station, SAM Station

BRIGHTVILLE
Leader: James Bright (Superdude)
Government: Autocratic Democracy
Background: Meteorologist
Color: Slate Grey
RES: 21 (per round +7)
HAP: 100% (per round +5)
MOR: 50%
WAR: 80%
Bonus: SAM Station, Weather Immunity

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Leader: President Troy Peterson (Superpan)
Government: Capitalist Democracy
Background: Survivalist
Color: Dark Blue
RES: 10 (per round +6)
HAP: 85% (per round +5)
MOR: 100%
WAR: 100%
Bonus: Drop Pods, Experimental Bomb (Co-Owned), Fierce Resistance, Firestorm Barriers, Hydrogen Bomb, Increased Productivity, Military Experience, Naval Base (Pacific), Radar Station, SAM Station

THE ENCLAVE
Leader: Augustus Autumn (The Huntsman)
Government: Autocratic Dictatorship
Background: General
Color: Hollywood Cerise
RES: 4 (per round +12)
HAP: 96% (per round +2)
MOR: 40%
WAR: 100%
Bonus: Fortified Bunkers, Military Experience, Naval Base (Panama Canal), Radar Station, SAM Station

BOSTONIA
Leader: Johnny O'Sullivan (jph139)
Government: Capitalistic Monarchy
Background: Mafioso
Color: Cranberry
RES: 16 (per round +6)
HAP: 90% (per round +5)
MOR: 90%
WAR: 75%
Bonus: Diplomatic Ties, ICBM, Illicit Connections, Ion Cannon Technology, Manifest Destiny, Technologically Advanced

VALHALLA
Leader: Sabrina Smith (Freedom Fighter)
Government: Capitalistic Monarchy
Background: Reality Show Contestant
Color: Payne's Grey
RES: 8 (per round +5)
HAP: 100% (per round +4)
MOR: 70%
WAR: 70%
Bonus: Fortified Bunkers, ICBM, Immunity, Naval Base (Atlantic)

THE VALLEY OF ZOMBIES
Leader: Aristotle Drake (VP VP)
Government: Autocratic Monarchy
Background: Theoretical Physicist
Color: Turquoise Blue
RES: 9 (per round +9)
HAP: 81% (per round +3)
MOR: 40%
WAR: 50%
Bonus: Prototype Teleportation Devices, Technologically Advanced

THE DISTRICT OF ANIMATION
Leader: Governor Ebenezer Astra (The Cartoon)
Government: Socialist Democracy
Background: Reality Show Contestant
Color: Light Green
RES: 10 (per round +2)
HAP: 100% (per round +6)
MOR: 100%
WAR: 80%
Bonus: Free Draft (10), Fortified Bunkers, Immunity, Radar Station, SAM Station

HOLY ARABIA
Leader: Pharaoh
Government: Socialist Dictatorship
Background: Politician
Color: Green
RES: 10 (per round +6)
HAP: 50% (per round +4)
MOR: 50%
WAR: 50%
Bonus: Increased Productivity

MINOR NATIONS

THE LAND OF LIPSCHITZ
Leader: Dr. Werner P. Lipschitz
Government: Autocratic Dictatorship
Background: Psychologist
Color: Rust
RES: 3 (per round +7)
HAP: 70% (per round +2)
MOR: 50%
WAR: 80%
Bonus: Persuasive, Radar Station, SAM Station

THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION
Leader: Viktor Beletsky
Government: Autocratic Dictatorship
Background: Politician
Color: Lust
RES: 11 (per round +14)
HAP 66% (per round +2)
MOR: 40%
WAR: 100%
Bonus: Fortified Bunkers, Illicit Contacts, Ion Cannon Technology, Increased Productivity, Military Experience, Naval Base (Atlantic), Naval Base (Pacific), Prototype Teleportation Devices, Technologically Advanced, Radar Station, SAM Station

THE WORLD TRADE ORGANIZATION
Leader: The Board
Government: Capitalist Corporatocracy
Background: Free Market Extremist
Color: Silver
RES: 260 (per round +20)
HAP: 100%
MOR: 0%
WAR: 100%
Bonus: Absoluite Capitalism, Fortified Bunkers, Illicit Contacts, Military Experience, Nava l Base (Indian), Naval Base (Pacific), SAM Station, Radar Station

THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE
Leader: Maximilian Friedmann
Government:
Background: Mad Scientist
Color: Han Purple
RES: ? (per round +?)
HAP: ?% (per round +?)
MOR: ?%
WAR: ?%
Bonus: ?

ALLIANCES

Don't Tread On Me The District Of Animation (Vice President Lance Animor)
The United States Of America (President Troy Peterson)
The Atlantic Alliance Beast Coast
The Enclave
WARS

The First War Texas vs. Eagleland
The War Of The Dakotas Centrality Of Nowhere & The Lord's Republic vs. North Dakota
World War III Eagleland & Holly & Texas & The Lord's Republic & The 5th Country vs. The United States Of America & The District Of Animation
The Atlantic War Beast Coast & The Enclave vs. Bostonia
The Ontario War Bostonia vs. Valhalla & The 5th Country

The Huntsman

09-02-2010, 01:16 PM

It’s been a while since I’ve last hosted a game. Admittedly, I’m not as good of a host as Johnny, but each time I’ve hosted the game I’ve introduced some features that helped make the game more interesting. I hope to do the same again.

This version of the game borrows heavily from the core mechanics that Johnny introduced for Rule The World V. Depending on your choices when creating your nation, you will get a certain amount of happiness and resources per year. These resources can be used to purchase investments, expand to new regions – IT COSTS FIVE RES TO CLAIM A NEW REGION – and train your army. Each nation will start with ten resources in order to speed things along.

Happiness has also been tweaked. Your citizens will request things from you depending on your economic, government and background selections. If they are happier, they will generally ask for less and may provide bonuses to your nation, but unhappy citizens will be quite vocal and they may be a threat to your governance.

Two new stats are added for this game, MORALITY and WAR READINESS. Morality starts at fifty percent and raises and lowers based on your action. If you decide to pocket resources that were intended to feed starving families, your morality will lower, but distributing the resources as intended will raise it. Lower morality will corrupt your citizens and make them more susceptible to certain actions, but the black market prefers dealing with like-minded souls. Higher morality, on the other hand, makes them less susceptible to certain actions, and your citizens will work harder for you in various ways when they know that their cause is just.

War Readiness if a measure of how ready your army is to fight. Most of the leaders that you will be playing as don’t have military experience, so you will be unable to increase the stat higher than eighty percent. Generals, on the other hand, can increase the stat to one-hundred percent. This means that if two players both rolled a twenty, the person with eighty percent would only have rolled a sixteen while the person with one-hundred percent would have rolled a twenty. War Readiness is increased by spending resources.

As with Rule The World V, you need to select one of each of the following.

A) Economy
There are three economic models: Capitalist. Socialist. Autocratic.

If you choose to be Capitalist, your people will be content knowing that they have the means to improve their lives and will be more productive because of it. You will receive +2 HAP and +2 RES every year, and your citizens will generally request less of the government.

If you choose to be Socialist, your people will be happy knowing that the government is doing everything that it can to make their lives better, but the cost of doing so means there are less resources available for other projects. You will receive +3 HAP and +1 RES every year, and your citizens will generally request more of the government.

If you choose to be Autocratic, your people are unhappy because there is little to be optimistic about in their lives, but they are very productive because they fear being seen as a slacker. You will receive +1 HAP and +3 RES every year, and your citizens will generally request nothing of the government.
B) Government
There are three government models: Monarchist. Democracy. Dictatorial.

In a Monarchy, it is your divine right to rule over the land. The people are generally content under your rule and are productive as well, but they are unhappy with the limited freedoms and will push for more. Failure to come to an agreement with them could threaten your governance. You will receive +2 HAP and +2 RES every year, and your citizens will generally request more of the government.

In a Democracy, people are free to choose their leaders and elections will be held every ten years. This allows them to keep a check on power, making them happier, but they are not fond of taxes and there are typically less resources to spend on government projects. You will receive +3 HAP and +1 RES every year, and your citizens will generally request less of the government.

In a Dictatorship, you have absolute control over the citizens and can’t normally be deposed. This causes your people to be less happy, as there is nothing they can do to improve their lot in life, but they are very productive because they know that you can make their lives far worse. You will receive +1 HAP and +3 RES every year, and your citizens will generally request nothing of the government.
C) Background
There are thirteen backgrounds for your leader: Disco God. General. Inmate. Mafioso. Meteorologist. Patriot. Politician. Priest. Psychologist. Reality Show Contestant. Secret Agent. Survivalist. Theoretical Physicist. Time Traveler.

Backgrounds explain how your leader rose to power and what bonuses you receive due to your previous experiences. Due to the nature of the game, some backgrounds may seem to clash with the economies and governments listed above. For example, a general who governs through martial law shouldn’t be a democracy. But sometimes, it’s more fun not to think about all of the inconsistencies and just roll with it. Also, you don’t have to roleplay as your selected background, so you can be a sane inmate if you want or be a disco god who hates disco music, but you’re free to roleplay as them if you want to.

Disco God: You were an internationally renown disco dancer. As the governments of the world began to collapse, you were too busy burning up the dance floor to notice. In fact, your marvelous moves mesmerized many, and before long, people from all across the region had come to your residence in hopes of being in your presence. It was then that you realized: the people needed inspiration now more than ever and your sweet moves were the key to uniting the nation. You put on your sunglasses, waved at your adoring fans, and knew that life was good. Who said disco was dead? Disco Gods get fifty percent more happiness per year.

General: You were a lesser general in the army. As the governments of the world began to collapse and the chain of command broke, you ordered your men to stand their ground and you managed to prevent your assigned station from falling into anarchy. Given the circumstances and unable to contact your superiors, you declared martial law, and soon had the entire region under your command. However, on a particularly busy day as you were preparing to inspect the readiness of some volunteers, one of your officers barged in and demanded that you follow him – the leader of your nation was still alive and had contacted your brigade on a secure line. The two of you exchanged words and you were authorized to use whatever force necessary to restore the nation. You told your men what your new assignment was, but unexpectedly, a private blurted out that you should be the leader of the nation once it is restored. Nobody disagreed, but what should you do? Is it honor you seek? Or power? Generals can train their armies up to one-hundred percent combat readiness and their training is twice as effective.

Inmate: You were the Emperor of France. As the governments of the world began to collapse, you laughed at the British dogs who had kept you imprisoned for so many years. They had tried to break your spirit, to force you to swallow mind-control tablets and attend meetings where Elvis Pressley and an African American John F. Kennedy talked about a murderous mummy, but you remained strong. And now, as the so called orderlies ran around in a panicked stupor, you knew that your time had come again. You tore free from your restraints and recited the speech that you gave to your men just before Waterloo, and from that moment on, nobody doubted your story and the entire region soon fell under your command. Inmate’s “have the support of the French government”.

Mafioso: You were a made man in one of the families. As the governments of the world began to collapsed, the don looked you squarely in the eyes and then had his right-hand man punch you in the face. You never quite understood why he did this, but perhaps it was symbolic of what the nation was going through, as even after getting punched in the face, you have to get back up on your feet and go about doing your business. Or perhaps he just felt like punching you in the face. Either way, what the don says, goes, and he believes this is a perfect time for expansion. He sent you and the boys to a region where he has a lot of influence and he expects your operation to go smoothly. And you don’t want to disappoint the don. Mafiosi have automatic access to the black market and receive a thirty percent discount.

Meteorologist: You were one of the nation’s top meteorologists. As the governments of the world began to collapse, your five-day forecast included a ninety-seven percent chance of pain. You then threw the anchorperson out of the window for all of the years in which they mocked you, made sweet love to their spouse, and set out on a mission to take revenge on all of the people who wronged you over the years. It wasn’t long until you racked up a body count that would make most hardcore killers blush, and after putting a bullet in the last O’Doyle, who did not in fact rule, you decided that it was a good time for a break. Everybody in the region was either happy that the scum of the earth had been removed or afraid that they would be next, so you were made their leader. Meteorologists are immune from negative weather events.

Patriot: You were an extremely popular television host. As the governments of the world began to collapse, you continued to broadcast your evening television program. You had been telling your millions of viewers that the nation was going to fall for years, and fortunately, they all listened to you when you advised them to invest in gold, guns and emergency seed banks. Realizing that it must have been divine providence for you to have actually been right, you quoted your nation’s founding fathers, grabbed your automatic rifle – one locally produced, of course – and instructed your followers to gather at a nearby memorial. You would restore your nation’s honor or die trying. Patriots can claim new regions in their starting nation at half cost..

Politician: You were the mayor of a moderate sized town. As the governments of the world began to collapse, you asked what this crisis would do to your poll numbers. You then cried. However, realizing that you could use this crisis to emerge as a hero, you summoned your army of bureaucrats to bureaucratize like they’ve never bureaucratized before. You assumed direct control of all public offices and authorized the police department, the fire department, and the sanitation department to use lethal force. It wasn’t long until you were in charge of the region, but like any good politician, you’ve always had higher aspirations. Politicians get fifty percent more resources per year.

Priest: You were a priest of one of your nation’s many faiths. As the governments of the world began to collapse, many turned to God in hopes of finding salvation before the end and your congregation soon grew to encompass the entire region. As you stood at the pulpit, you could see the fear in the eyes of the devout and realized that this must be a test. When humanity is pushed to the breaking point, it is only then that one’s character can truly be defined, but when tempted by sin, can you yourself walk the highroad? Priests experience twice as large morality shifts and their morality is twice as effective.

Psychologist: You were one of the nation’s top psychologists. As the governments of the world began to collapse, you kept mostly to yourself and simply observed the people in your region. As time progressed, you began to understand, perhaps more than anybody in the world, the human condition. You were already capable of getting through to even the most hardened individuals, but with your newfound perspective, you could convince just about anybody to trust in what you have to say. Psychologists are naturally more persuasive and receive an automatic bonus when dealing with NPCs.

Reality Show Contestant: You were a contestant on a popular reality show. As the governments of the world began to collapse, you remained convinced that it was all an elaborate ruse that was designed to make the next challenge more interesting. Sure, the host had just flipped you off and jumped in a helicopter, leaving you and the other contestants to fend for yourself, but you won immunity in the last challenge and have nothing to worry about. As the days pass, the other contestants notice you dutifully going about your business, gathering supplies and building your camp, and while they still insist that the show ended, you know that they can’t touch you due to your immunity and you agree to form an alliance with them. Before long, the entire region is following your example. Reality Show Contestants have immunity that prevents their governance from being interfered with by other nations.

Secret Agent: You were a secret agent for a foreign nation. As the governments of the world began to collapse, you smiled. You did your job well. The director back home might have actually been happy for once. You got in your private jet and were ready to take off when you received an urgent call from one of your compatriots. The plan had been compromised at the last minute and the leader of the nation managed to slip into a secure location. Your compatriot attempted to tell you where he was hiding, but the last thing you heard before the conversation ended was gunfire. You sighed, pulled out a cigarette and lamented the situation. If you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself. Fortunately, you’ve done a lot of favors for people in the region and have a base of operations to begin your manhunt. Secret Agents can give false orders once every decade and force a foreign nation to perform an action against its will.

Survivalist: You were a fan of an extremely popular television host. As the governments of the world began to collapse, you were unable to join the massive rally to restore the nation’s honor. Fortunately, you were told that the nation would be coming to an end for years, so you have a lot of gold, guns and emergency seed banks at your disposal. You also went a step further and have built fortifications all throughout your property. Your neighbors always mocked you, but like any good citizen, you agreed to be their de facto leader and protect them. It wasn’t long until the entire region came to you in hopes of learning your survival techniques. Survivalists lose fifty percent less land during warfare, seventy-five percent less land when the enemy is within two-hundred pixels of their capital.

Theoretical Physicist: You were a graduate of MIT with a PhD in theoretical physics. As the governments of the world began to collapse, the government-owned research facility at which you were employed was shut down. The timing couldn’t have been any worse, as you and your colleagues were close to discovering a reliable and safe means of teleportation, and sample GG-3883 was the most promising yet. After some discussions with your fellows, you decided to return home to your starting region in order to start the experiments anew, and as word began to spread that you were close to succeeding, the entire region gave you their full support. You knew that you needed a hefty amount of resources to actually make any breakthroughs, and while you were always more of a silent type, you had to take a stand in order to prevent your research from falling into the wrong hands. Now if only you had a crowbar… Theoretical Physicists have exclusive access to advanced technologies.

Time Traveler: You were from the future. As the governments of the world began to collapse, a group of scientists set out to discover a reliable and safe means of teleportation. Their discoveries would lead to the creation of a device capable of manipulating the space-time continuum, but before they could perfect it, the world itself was all but destroyed. Realizing that their research facility wouldn’t last much longer, you volunteered to take a one-way trip back in time, to before it all began, in hopes of preventing it from happening in the first place. Unfortunately, while you managed to warn the leaders of the world in time for them to get to a secure location, you were unable to prevent the collapse from taking place. You may have changed history, but things still seem to be unfolding as they did the first time. Using this to your advantage, you managed to convince the region that their best chance at survival was following you, as with intricate knowledge of the future, you are better prepared to deal with what is to come than anybody else. Time Travelers will know of major events before they happen.
Also, there are three types of investments this time. Normal investments that can be purchased by everyone, black market investments that can only be purchased by select clientele, and advanced technologies that can only be purchased by theoretical physicists.

Normal Investments

Conscription forces the citizens into government services, allowing you to convert happiness into resources, but war readiness will be lowered by the influx of untrained recruits and dissent will increase unless the reason convinces them.

Incentivized Defection allows you to spend any amount of resources you wish in hopes of convincing the people of another nation to join you instead. Its success rate depends on the amount of resources spent, and the happiness and morality of the target nation.

Public Works Projects increases happiness by ten percent by improving their standard of living. 5 RES

Espionage Programs send spies into a nation of your choice, allowing you to be informed of any decisions that they make in private. Spies have a high chance of being caught during the first four years, but if they last beyond that, they will be fully integrated and can’t be removed. 10 RES

Fortified Bunkers help protect your government from ICBMs, making them less effective and your investments will only have a fifty percent chance of being destroyed if struck, but MOABs, FOABs and Ion Cannons are still fully effective. 10 RES

Rader Stations allow you to be informed of incoming aerial attacks even if they were made in private and increase the capability of SAM Stations. 10 RES

SAM Stations allow you to have a twenty percent chance of shooting down incoming missiles, or a sixty percent chance if you also have a Radar Station. 15 RES

ICBMs allow you to destroy another nation’s investment and lower their happiness. It also lowers their rolls during warfare. 15 RES

Tesla Coils are defensive encampments modeled after the work of Nikola Tesla. Electricity is fed into them and then amplified, shooting out into arcs that electrocute any infantry and overload any military vehicle, thus preventing them from advancing within two-hundred pixels of the capital. They are incapable of stopping aircraft and must rely on other investments for protection from above. 20 RES

Naval Bases allow your nation to expand to or declare war on any nation with a costal border, but when using it to launch an invasion, you can't land too close to their capital. If the enemy has a naval base as well, you can't launch a naval invasion against them, but if they do not have a naval base, you will get +3 to your roll. It can only be used against one nation at a time. 20 RES

MOABs are conventional bombs commonly referred to as the “mother of all bombs”. While not as powerful as their black market counterparts, they are capable of destroying another nation’s investment and significantly reducing both their resources and their happiness. It also lowers their rolls during warfare. 50 RES
Black Market

Backdoor Diplomacy allows you to form an illegal alliance with a foreign power, but since North America is sealed off from the rest of the world, discretion is advised. Through a backdoor alliance, you can make requests or seek assistance, depending on your background, but they will typically ask for something in return. 10 RES

Black Ops employs the services of highly trained mercenaries provided to you by the black market. They can be sent into an enemy nation to assassinate officials and cause general disruption, lowering their resource and happiness gains, and occasionally stealing existing resources and sending them back to the holder of the contract. They will continue doing so for fifteen years or until they are dead. 20 RES

Chemical Missiles are typical ICBMs except for their unique payload, which deploys a highly toxic gas cloud capable of inflicting tremendous damage. When launched, it severely lowers an enemy nation’s happiness and cuts their resource production in half for the next two years, and the initial detonation is large enough to destroy an investment as well. It also lowers their rolls during warfare. 30 RES

FOABs are thermobaric bombs commonly referred to as the “father of all bombs” and are the most powerful non-nuclear bomb in the world. When launched, it can destroy another nation’s investment and significantly reduce both their resources and their happiness. It also lowers their rolls during warfare. 50 RES
Advanced Technologies

Firestorm Barriers are a defense system based on a network of wall sections that are connected to a state-of-the-art energy generator. The panels discharge a continuous, impassable energy field high above them, instantly destroying anything that attempts to pass over or through them. It can be used to automatically block enemy missiles, but it must be activated beforehand and doing so costs two resources per activation. 10 RES

Drop Pods are a method of inserting infantry from orbit hat allows troops to be deployed globally. They can be used to launch invasions at any point in the world, but war readiness needs to be over seventy percent and you can't land too close to their capital. They can only be used against one nation at a time. 20 RES

Prototype Teleportation Devices are capable of moderate range teleportation, albeit fatal to living organisms. It can still be used to transport goods and supplies across your nation in an instant, granting you an automatic fifty percent more resources per year and +2 to all warfare rolls. 30 RES

Ion Cannons are a satellite-based particle beam weapon system capable of obliterating any location on the world with a precise, calculated strike of unforgivable destructive power. They can be used once every five years to destroy another nation’s investment, or to simply wreck havoc in their nation to severely lower resources and happiness. It also lowers their rolls during warfare. 50 RES
War, for the most part, is the same. The biggest change is that resources no longer directly add to your strength, but resources can be spent to increase war readiness, which is the biggest modifier in war now. At the start of the game, your rolls are automatically cut in half, so you should probably spend a few resources here and there in order to get your war readiness up. Both happiness and morality can also modify the rolls, but those are special bonuses and will be outlined once triggered in-game.

+10 – Declared Private War (First Round Only)
+2 – Connection To Your Capital
+2X – For Each Flank On Your Opponent
+1X – For Each Ally Directly Engaged With The Enemy
-5 – Capital Movement

With that, I’d say we’re ready to get this experiment rolling. Please post the following information

Nation’s Name
Leader’s Name
Economy Type
Government Type
Background
Starting Region
Capital Location
Color On Map

chdr

09-02-2010, 02:01 PM

Nation’s Name: Beast Coast
Leader’s Name: Lou Kochberg
Economy Type: Capitalism
Government Type: Democracy
Background: Politician
Starting Region: New York
Capital Location: Oswego
Color On Map: Red

It's time for the best city on the planet to rule the best country on the planet! :p

Jmill

09-02-2010, 03:21 PM

THE 5TH COUNTRY
Leader: Toby Adams
Economy: Capitalist
Government Type: Dictatorship
Background: Time Traveler
Starting Region: Ontario
Capital Location: Attawapiskat
Color On Map: Indigo.

Radical Raven

09-02-2010, 03:42 PM

Still working on my new character, but I'm wodering; what happens if we choose to be a socialist dictatorship?

The Huntsman

09-02-2010, 03:49 PM

Still working on my new character, but I'm wodering; what happens if we choose to be a socialist dictatorship?It does seem that some things are contradictory, but we’ll make it work. With a socialist dictatorship, you would get +4 happiness and +4 resources per round, are immune from being deposed under normal circumstances, and your citizens will make requests of your government at an average rate.

SpideyFan914

09-02-2010, 03:56 PM

Aw, but I wanted New York! :p

For now, I'll reserve Florida and the color Orange, but I'm not quite ready to claim anything else yet. I'm leaning toward Secret Agent or Survivalist.

Though I must ask - isn't Secret Agent kind of.... a bit broken....? I mean, you could easily just make some huge country give you 50 Resources, or if someone's a threat to you, you could make them declare war on someone else!

The Huntsman

09-02-2010, 04:03 PM

Though I must ask - isn't Secret Agent kind of.... a bit broken....? I mean, you could easily just make some huge country give you 50 Resources, or if someone's a threat to you, you could make them declare war on someone else!As I said in the other thread, if people get too greedy with the secret orders it’s not going to work, and that includes “surrender to me” or “give me all of your resources”. However, it is quite possible to trick a nation to declare war on somebody else, and while the war could be ended on the next round once the confusion is cleared up and both leaders agree to peace, previous games have shown that some leaders don’t pay attention and causing a war between two nations could have lasting effects. There are various other false orders that you can send; it’s up to the player to try to come up with ones that aren’t overreaching.

Nations with high happiness and morality will have a better chance at resisting false orders, but Reality Show Contestants are the only ones fully immune from the effect.

SpideyFan914

09-02-2010, 04:11 PM

You wanna know what? I think I'll go with that....

Leader: Pit Allen
Economy: Socialist
Government Type: Dictatorship
Background: Secret Agent
Starting Region: Florida
Capital Location: TBA
Color on Map: Orange

However, I may change my mind at any time before the game begins - particularly regarding the Starting Region (without everyone else on the map, it's kinda hard to figure....).

JAG

09-02-2010, 04:13 PM

The New Union
Carl Hayes
Capitalist
Monarchy
Survivalist
North Carolina
Raleigh
Brown

SpideyFan914

09-02-2010, 04:21 PM

I love how everyone's in the US.... I mean, I guess we just don't know the names of anywhere else, but still....

jacob2037

09-02-2010, 04:25 PM

HUH-VAH-EEEEE
King Kawanalimukupuwiliwale'eeuliniki
Socialist
Monarchy
Mafioso
Hawaii
Honolulu
Green

Jmill

09-02-2010, 04:29 PM

King Kawanalimukupuwiliwale'eeuliniki

Please tell me you have a nickname or something.

jacob2037

09-02-2010, 04:33 PM

My name is very easy to pronounce if you say it s l o w l y!!

KAH•WAH•NAH•LEE•MOO•KOO•POO•WEE•LEE•WAH•LAY•EEE•EEE•OOO•LEE•NEE•KEE

SpideyFan914

09-02-2010, 04:36 PM

King Kawan it is.

The Huntsman

09-02-2010, 04:38 PM

HUH-VAH-EEEEE
King Kawanalimukupuwiliwale'eeuliniki
Socialist
Monarchy
Mafioso
Hawaii
Honolulu
GreenHawaii isn't on the map, and even if it was, it would be under PMB control. You could always start in Cuba and pretend it's Hawaii, if you want.

Rattlehead

09-02-2010, 04:38 PM

Nation's Name: New Bright
Leader’s Name: James Bright
Economy Type: Autocratic
Government Type: Democracy
Background: Meteorologist
Starting Region: British Columbia
Capital Location: Vancouver
Color On Map: Blue-Gray

Jmill

09-02-2010, 04:40 PM

Pronunciation wasn't my concern, King Kahwahnahleemookoopooweeleewahlayeeeeeeoooleeneekee. It was spelling.

I'm going with Kawan.

jacob2037

09-02-2010, 04:45 PM

Wait, I just realized Hawaii's an island so I can't move anywhere.

[changing character]

Nation's Name: TEXAS (that's all caps)
Leader’s Name: Dubya (no relation to George Dubya Bush; we just have the same name)
Economy Type: Capitalist
Government Type: Dictatorship
Background: Politician
Starting Region: Texas
Capital Location: Austin
Color On Map: Green

Superpan

09-02-2010, 05:05 PM

NATION'S NAME: THE NEW UNITED STAtES OF AMERICA
LEADER'S NAME: Superpan (Troy Peterson) (I'm playing myself!)
Economy: Capitalist
Government: Democracy (I know, I'm repetitive)
Background: Survivalist
Starting region: Illinois
Capital: Springfield
Color: DARK BLUE

Incidentally, what year does this take place? Is it a new continuity?

The Huntsman

09-02-2010, 05:28 PM

Nation’s Name: The Enclave
Leader’s Name: Augustus Autumn
Economy Type: Autocratic
Government Type: Dictatorship
Background: General
Starting Region: Panama
Capital Location: Southeast Panama
Color On Map: Hollywood Cerise

Here is what the map looks like so far (http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/2060/mapfv.png), but people are free to change their information at any point before the game begins.

JAG

09-02-2010, 06:14 PM

Since the US is getting crowded, I think a change of plans is in order:

Nation: The Lord's Republic
Leader: Minister Carl Hayes
Economy: Autocratic
Government: Monarchy
Background: Priest
Starting Region: Nunavut
Capital: Churchville (center of country)
Color: Brown

My faithful...the time has come. For many years, we have isolated ourselves in this frozen wilderness, keeping ourselves safe from the sinful ways of the outside world. But no longer.

The 'great' nations of the non-believers have crumbled at last! Clearly, my beloved congregation, this is a sign! The Lord Almighty has shown the rest of this continent His displeasure, crushing economies, dethroning leaders, casting the largest cities into anarchy! Yet our own tiny village, this insignificant speck that the world has ignored or even mocked for so long, remains unscathed!

We are doing something right, my faithful! The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, has a plan for us! I am convinced that our holy mission is now clear. We must spread out across this darkened land and bring the blinding light of our faith to the heretical masses! We must convert them, and restore peace and order to North America in the name of God!

*wild applause from congregation*

Jmill

09-02-2010, 06:16 PM

I've decided to move to Ontario instead of Nevada. My new capitol is Attawapiskat. The information was edited on my original entry, but I wanted to repost it here.

The Huntsman

09-02-2010, 07:19 PM

Alright, here is the updated map (http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/9349/mapta.png); I believe JAG just took the single largest piece of land in the game.

I like what everybody is doing so far. However, people should keep in mind that they’re allowed to think outside of the box. Panama isn’t very large, but the reason I selected it is because of the Panama Canal. Even with a naval base, most nations won’t be able to go from side of the nation to the other, as The PMB has blocked off the southern routes and the northern routes are frozen solid. However, since I control the Panama Canal, I can easily move from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and vise-versa, and if I build a naval base I will have the most dominant navy in North America.

There are a lot of other locations on the map that have a key strategic benefit. However, you have to speak up about them if you want to try to incorporate them into your nation.

SpideyFan914

09-02-2010, 07:43 PM

The Huntsman

09-02-2010, 07:47 PM

Very well - where is Area 51? I'll take that, as long as it's not too close to Jacques. ;)Nevada. You'll be two states away from Jacques.

Jmill

09-02-2010, 07:54 PM

Hey, I've got the Saint Lawrence River! I can use that to get to the Atlantic Ocean.

SpideyFan914

09-02-2010, 07:59 PM

Nevada. You'll be two states away from Jacques.

Eh.... I'll go with California - I can get to Nevada from there, and my capital will be better equipped. Plus Hollywood!! :cool:

The Huntsman

09-02-2010, 08:11 PM

Hey, I've got the Saint Lawrence River! I can use that to get to the Atlantic Ocean.Yeah, unless somebody claims that region that hosts another part of the river and cuts you off. Same with all of the other rivers.

jacob2037

09-02-2010, 08:11 PM

I believe JAG just took the single largest piece of land in the game.

I believe you are wrong, Texas is WAYYYYYYYY bigger.

JAG

09-02-2010, 08:18 PM

There are a lot of other locations on the map that have a key strategic benefit. However, you have to speak up about them if you want to try to incorporate them into your nation.

Being in the Frozen North, maybe I could get a small defensive bonus? I have the infrastructure, tech, and training to effectively deploy my military up here, but attacking nations might have a hard time getting to me. Their equipment will have to be re-designed to withstand the cold, which could be a drain on resources. Their troops will be unused to the elements, and their performance and morale may suffer as a result.

Also, I have access to the Atlantic Ocean, right? The ocean in my area freezes in the winter, but I should be fine for the rest of the year.

The Huntsman

09-02-2010, 08:32 PM

Eh.... I'll go with California - I can get to Nevada from there, and my capital will be better equipped. Plus Hollywood!! :cool:Alright. What is the name of your nation?

Being in the Frozen North, maybe I could get a small defensive bonus? I have the infrastructure, tech, and training to effectively deploy my military up here, but attacking nations might have a hard time getting to me. Their equipment will have to be re-designed to withstand the cold, which could be a drain on resources. Their troops will be unused to the elements, and their performance and morale may suffer as a result.I'll think about it. If people launch a spontaneous invasion, I could see how they would have problems, but if they slowly expand up north or move northward slowly over the course of an invasion, conventional wisdom indicates that they would be a bit more prepared. Modern warfare is much more adaptive to the environment. But, yeah, if a nation targets you with drop pods or a naval attack, when they have no experience in arctic warfare, they’ll probably have a penalty for a few years.

Also, I have access to the Atlantic Ocean, right? The ocean in my area freezes in the winter, but I should be fine for the rest of the year.I suppose, but it'll work both ways and people will be able to reach you as well. The Pacific, however, is still inaccessible to you. The PMB sealed off the route between Alaska and Russia.

SpideyFan914

09-02-2010, 09:10 PM

Alright. What is the name of your nation?

Oh, uh.... How about "THE DEVIL'S PIT"....

Naa, too cliche.... Maybe if I translate it.... Of course, even then people will assume I'm evil....

Hm.... "APPLE PIT"!

Yeah, uh, no.... Um....

Suggestions? :sweat:

jph139

09-02-2010, 09:32 PM

Nation’s Name: Bostonia
Leader’s Name: Johnny O'Sullivan
Economy Type: Capitalist
Government Type: Monarchy
Background: Mafioso
Starting Region: Massachusetts
Capital Location: Boston
Color On Map: Cranberry

So yeah, here's my story. Name's Johnny O'Sullivan. See, I grew up on the mean streets of Boston, y'know? It was WICKED bad man, you don't even KNOW. So I figured, yeah, be a criminal. It was AWESOME. I had a baseball bat and man, I would break EVERYBODY'S kneecaps. Even if they gave me the money. And the big boys in the Irish Mob - you know, like, Whitey's old crew - they picked me up. Liked my spunk. I was livin' it big.

So when all that bad crap went down the big man said to me, he said, "Hey sonny, you got a good head, and no one out there knows you that good, right? So we gotta take over this here place, and you're gonna be front and center." So I'm like, hell yeah, I TOTALLY am gonna kick ass here.

So we're Capitalist and stuff, 'cause we don't buy into none of that socialist bullcrap they were spoutin'. Honest day's work is the only way to make it in the world. And we're like, we're not really a Monarchy with kings and stuff, but the Don is in charge, and he put me in charge, so I guess I'm like the King of Boston now, y'know? Badass, am I right? I'm callin' it Bostonia because Boston is the BEST DAMN CITY IN THE WORLD! RED SOX RULE!

And our flag is cranberry 'cause those things taste freakin' awesome, man. Wicked good.

Superpan

09-02-2010, 09:34 PM

As I said before Spideyfan, BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! would be a great name.

Do I have control of the Black Market since I rule Chicago and my capital is Springfield, home of corrupt governors?

Also, Mr. O'Sullivan, I believe you mean WHITE SOX AND CUBS RULE!!!!!

*dodges Molotov Cocktail*

Not again...

Jmill

09-02-2010, 09:38 PM

I suggest calling your nation "???". It provokes mystery, suspicion, and unpredictability.

jph139

09-02-2010, 10:12 PM

Also, Mr. O'Sullivan, I believe you mean WHITE SOX AND CUBS RULE!!!!!

Man, you like, don't even know how not funny you are right now. Like, you're "dead grandma in a casket" unfunny. Funny like cancer. I'm not laughin'.

chdr

09-02-2010, 11:37 PM

So we're Capitalist and stuff, 'cause we don't buy into none of that socialist bullcrap they were spoutin'. Honest day's work is the only way to make it in the world. And we're like, we're not really a Monarchy with kings and stuff, but the Don is in charge, and he put me in charge, so I guess I'm like the King of Boston now, y'know? Badass, am I right? I'm callin' it Bostonia because Boston is the BEST DAMN CITY IN THE WORLD! RED SOX RULE!Izzat so? No one takes a bite out of the Big Apple! New Yawkers forever!!!

P.S. THE RED SOX ONLY RULE WHEN THE YANKEES HAVE DIED FROM LAUGHTER >:-D

SpideyFan914

09-03-2010, 12:01 AM

Izzat so? No one takes a bite out of the Big Apple! New Yawkers forever!!!

P.S. THE RED SOX ONLY RULE WHEN THE YANKEES HAVE DIED FROM LAUGHTER >:-D

Actually, you make a point - with a capital in Boston, you may be able to attack from Long Island. GO HOME TEAM!!!
Speaking of which, why isn't Long Island colored as part of New York?
WE ARE PART OF NEW YORK!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU NEGLECT US!!!!!!!!

And "???" is almost too mysterious.... You can't just say it, y'know?

Jmill

09-03-2010, 12:08 AM

And "???" is almost too mysterious....

How about just "?", enough mystery but still pronounceable.

SpideyFan914

09-03-2010, 12:10 AM

How about just "?", enough mystery but still pronounceable.

Meh....

I want it to be mysterious but not so much that it doesn't sound like it could just be some nation. I don't want to stick out THAT much, y'know? That's why I discarded "THE DEVIL'S PIT"....

The Huntsman

09-03-2010, 12:48 AM

I want it to be mysterious but not so much that it doesn't sound like it could just be some nation. I don't want to stick out THAT much, y'know? That's why I discarded "THE DEVIL'S PIT"....Hollywoodland (http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/908/hollywoodland.jpg)

SpideyFan914

09-03-2010, 12:53 AM

Hollywoodland (http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/908/hollywoodland.jpg)

Because that sounds sooooo mysterious. ;)

Hm....

Actually....

You can call us "HOLLY." It's kinda lame, but kinda creepy....

The Huntsman

09-03-2010, 12:59 AM

Because that sounds sooooo mysterious. ;)I thought it was quite fitting... But if you insist. :radda:

SpideyFan914

09-03-2010, 01:13 AM

Who am I? My name is Pit Allen.

Where do I come from? You don't need to know that.

All you need to know is that as of December 21st, 2012, the North American governments began to collapse, and I just so happened to be in the right place at the right time.

I have taken California. I did this before the governments had fallen apart. What has become of this state? You don't need to know that either. I will tell you that I am its leader. I will tell you that we lead a better life, in which no one needs to suffer from poverty or inferiority. But you do not need to know anything else.

You may not contact my people.

They may not contact you.

Communications have been cut. If you wish to speak to me, you may go through my secretary, an Amy Stone. But do not try to talk to my people. They are happy and safe, and do not outsiders to interfere.

We are now the nation of Holly, taken from the famous Hollywood, which once broadcasted millions of movies to the world. But we have no need for that anymore. We will broadcast to our people, not outsiders.

The nation of Holly is truly a brilliant place to live. If you wish to join us, then please meet with Amy, and she'll tell you where to go.

That is all. You will not hear from me again, unless circumstances make it necessary. I will speak to you only through my most trusted employees.

So before I go, there is just one thing I demand.

I demand that you GET MY NAME RIGHT!!!!! It's Pit ALLEN!!! Not Alien! Allen! PIT ALLEN!!!

That is all. Good-bye, outsiders. If we meet again, I hope you're on my good side.

The Huntsman

09-03-2010, 01:22 AM

I demand that you GET MY NAME RIGHT!!!!! It's Pit ALLEN!!! Not Alien! Allen! PIT ALLEN!!!It was a typo, but I think everybody should call you Pet Alien (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pet_Alien) from now on. ;)

Regarding the backgrounds that aren’t selected, I think I will use them in events. Some will form their own governments while others can be acquired by a government if conditions are met. I’m still not sure if anybody will play as a theoretical physicist, but now, even if they don’t, we can still get one in the game.

JAG

09-03-2010, 01:44 AM

I’m still not sure if anybody will play as a theoretical physicist, but now, even if they don’t, we can still get one in the game.

I'm kind of surprised by that. I figured people would be lining up for that one just to get the bonus, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Well, at least we won't be getting the snot blasted out of us by Ion Cannons every few rounds. I hope.:sweat:

The Huntsman

09-03-2010, 01:49 AM

I'm kind of surprised by that. I figured people would be lining up for that one just to get the bonus, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Well, at least we won't be getting the snot blasted out of us by Ion Cannons every few rounds. I hope.:sweat:I did nerf that background quite a bit, but ion cannons are still devastating. Perhaps too devastating, but it's a doomsday machine for lack of a better word and doomsday machines make the game interesting. If anybody does develop ion cannon technology, they better have allies, because the rest of the world will have a target on them. I may even have The PMB step in if it's necessary. Either way, some could argue that the other three investments are far more valuable, especially the drop pods.

Freedom Fighter

09-03-2010, 01:58 PM

The Huntsman

09-03-2010, 05:50 PM

Always wanted to play... let me throw my hat into the ring.It's always nice to have new players. This game seems like it will go quite well, and a few more players should still join in before we start. Here is the current version of the map (http://img693.imageshack.us/img693/3581/mapwp.png).

SpideyFan914

09-03-2010, 07:05 PM

Always wanted to play... let me throw my hat into the ring.

CENTRALITY OF NOWHERE
Leader: Sabrina Smith
Economy: Capitalist
Government: Monarchy
Background: Reality Show Contestant
Starting Region: South Dakota
Capital Location: Sioux Falls
Color on Map: Black

Random and progressive, yep. I'll think up a more detailed background later, probably.

I would, however, recommend that you move your capital more to the center. Both Jmill and Superpan have fairly easy access, and it could take a few turns to clear that up.

The Huntsman

09-03-2010, 07:12 PM

I would, however, recommend that you move your capital more to the center. Both Jmill and Superpan have fairly easy access, and it could take a few turns to clear that up.Your capital isn't much safer with naval bases. I think I may have to nerf that somehow, but if I do, I'm going to have to change my nation as well because Panama would be worthless militarily.

Superpan

09-03-2010, 07:37 PM

What, me attack a rather good state? Sir, you insult me! I am just trying to organize a new democracy to show we aren't animals and to maintain the Founding Father's hopes and dreams. Just like I did in this online game I played calld Rule the World V! In fact, you all seem rather familiar...

I will be introducing myself shortly, but first...

WHAT DID YOU DO0 WITH SCHWARSANAGGER (MISPELLED) ALIEN!

Radical Raven

09-03-2010, 07:40 PM

Leader: Tommy "The Bird" Locke
Economy: Socialist
Government: Dictatorship
Background: Mafioso
Staring Location: Florida
Capital Location: Disney World
Color on Map: Light Blue

...

...a pleasure, truly a pleasure to make your acquaintances.

jacob2037

09-03-2010, 07:41 PM

It is spelled "Schwarzenegger", you evil Canadian!

Why are you all choosing to build your countries so close to Dubya's wonderful nation of TEXAS!?! Dubya does not want to be in position in which he must eliminate you!

Superpan

09-03-2010, 07:44 PM

SOLOMON SURVIVED....and he's real? Huh.

Radical Raven

09-03-2010, 07:45 PM

Jmill

09-03-2010, 08:02 PM

This Mr. W sounds quite aggressive. would invite him to my place for a delicious iced caramel macchiato, but I am afraid he'll try to use death powers due to my Canadian origin.

SpideyFan914

09-03-2010, 08:23 PM

Your capital isn't much safer with naval bases. I think I may have to nerf that somehow, but if I do, I'm going to have to change my nation as well because Panama would be worthless militarily.
Naval bases?? Say what?? We didn't have those in RTW VI!!
Very well, I'm moving my capital to.... somewhere in the center of California, closer to Nevada.

What, me attack a rather good state? Sir, you insult me! I am just trying to organize a new democracy to show we aren't animals and to maintain the Founding Father's hopes and dreams. Just like I did in this online game I played calld Rule the World V! In fact, you all seem rather familiar...

I will be introducing myself shortly, but first...

WHAT DID YOU DO0 WITH SCHWARSANAGGER (MISPELLED) ALIEN!
Hello, you have reached the office of Pit Allen. If you'd like to speak to Mr. Allen directly, you'll have to make an appointment.

jacob2037

09-03-2010, 09:31 PM

SOLOMON SURVIVED....and he's real? Huh.

Dubya has no idea who is this Solomon you speak of.

Oh, by the way, Dubya wishes to change his background to Time Traveller instead of evil Politician.

This Mr. W sounds quite aggressive. would invite him to my place for a delicious iced caramel macchiato, but I am afraid he'll try to use death powers due to my Canadian origin.

Dubya does not wish to be called "Mr. W"; he wishes to be called by his true Arab name Dubya (DOOB•YAH)!!!!!!

Jmill

09-03-2010, 09:36 PM

Oh, by the way, Dubya wishes to change his background to Time Traveller instead of evil Politician.

Be a theoretical physicist. I know for a fact that doomsday devices would be perfectly safe in your hands.

And while we're discussing, let's talk alliance. You, me, and two other nations. We could take America by storm.

Edit: Oh, you don't like being called Mr. W? My apologies. I thought we weren't on a first name basis yet. And I am not Toby Scotts. I'm Toby Adams.

jacob2037

09-03-2010, 09:41 PM

Be a theoretical physicist, Mr. W. I know for a fact that doomsday devices would be perfectly safe in your hands.

DUBYA! Dubya is Dubya's name! Dubya shall never participate in any science because science is very evil thing designed by evil Athiests to besmirch Allah's beautiful name!!

And in case you are wondering, Allah gives Dubya ability to time travel, not evil scientists.

And while we're discussing, let's talk alliance. You, me, and two other nations. We could take America by storm.

Dubya will consider this offer, but he wishes for his land of TEXAS to remain out of alliances at this time.

The Huntsman

09-03-2010, 09:44 PM

Jmill

09-03-2010, 09:46 PM

Why did you all have to goad him into becoming Pharaoh again?

I sure didn't want it. I was fine with King Unpronounceable.

JAG

09-03-2010, 10:38 PM

DUBYA! Dubya is Dubya's name! Dubya shall never participate in any science because science is very evil thing designed by evil Athiests to besmirch Allah's beautiful name!!

And in case you are wondering, Allah gives Dubya ability to time travel, not evil scientists.

You seem to be a little confused, friend. See, this 'Allah' you keep mentioning is actually a fictional character created by nonbelievers as a means of luring people away from God. It's a real tragedy that so many have swallowed these lies, 'cause anyone who worships a false idol like Allah is, sadly, bound for Hell.

It's laid out on the holy pages of the Bible, ladies and gentlemen, right here in black and white. *holds up Bible* Y'all can accept the Good Lord's word...or you can give in to temptation. Give in to sin. Give in to the evil whispers of the Devil, who works every minute of every day to corrupt you, to turn you away from the arms of your Heavenly Father. But if you do that...y'all're gonna burn in Hell.

Just sayin', folks. Just puttin' that out there for y'all to think about. The Lord's always ready to forgive you. Even blasphemers like you, Mr. Dubya. All you need to do is believe that, and ask for it.

My church's doors are always open to anyone who'll do that.

Disclaimer: I'm Agnostic, myself, so feel free to bash the good Minister all you want.

jacob2037

09-03-2010, 11:01 PM

<snip>

You silly JAG, do you not realize that 'Allah' is simply the arabic word for what you english speakers call 'God' just as 'Dubya' is arabic for what you english speakers call 'Helga Hufflepuff'! They are the very same! However Allah is listening to what you are saying, believe me, he is, and he is not happy with you JAG.

JAG

09-03-2010, 11:41 PM

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree, Dubya. I just hope your people accept the truth while they still can.

Superpan

09-04-2010, 12:11 AM

So...Dubya is not what I thought he would be. Quite the opposite yet.

Also, I'm only a 1/4th Canadian. My Canadian relatives are in Ontario and under the rule of Toby Adams.

So, I am TROY MATTHEW PETERSON, de facto president of the United States. Being the first unaminously elected president since Washington, I am here to restore order and rule to the the Constitution, with a bit more restricted gun laws.

Oh, I don't know about that! Ya can call me Ryan Butters, and I'm only here because I was warned unlike you liberal elite! I love my country and I'm a gonna make sure it's back'st to normal.

Yes, thanks, Vice President. (He had all the supplies, so he got on the ticket. Please bear with him.)

So, yes, I am here to restore democratic rule and the movie industry. Any questions?

Jmill

09-04-2010, 12:15 AM

...just as 'Dubya' is arabic for what you english speakers call 'Helga Hufflepuff'! They are the very same!

I am tempted to start calling you Helga, even though Google disagrees with your translation. But, I find Mr. W to work perfectly: Short, simple, and unbelievably irritating on your part.

jph139

09-04-2010, 12:15 AM

So, yes, I am here to restore democratic rule and the movie industry. Any questions?

Yeah, ya got any chicks out there in wacko-land, or is it just corn? 'cause that's probably why you got ya thumb where the sun don't shine Mr. America.

Superpan

09-04-2010, 12:54 AM

That's Indiana. Mind you, we Illinoisans have a long history of working with ruffians such as yourself in Chicago, so when the next meeting comes around, I'd look out for SPATS!

Also, yes, but they don't talk to me regularly.

Freedom Fighter

09-04-2010, 01:32 AM

I would, however, recommend that you move your capital more to the center.Thanks for the advice. I suppose in trying to choose between the state's actual capital and its most populous city, I should've looked at a map first. Especially since said capital happens to coincidentally be right in the center of the state.

Which is what I planned all along! Yeah. :rolleyes2: Okay, so changing capital location to Pierre. Not that I already harbor distrust for my distant neighbors, but I'd rather not be seen as easy.

Crud. Now people think I'm easy, and I haven't even properly introduced myself. So much for trying to escape being stereotyped.

You know what, whatever. Even I think it's too dark to be bothered with introductions right now.

SpideyFan914

09-04-2010, 09:12 PM

Hey, what about The Cartoon? Isn't he gonna sign up?

VP VP

09-05-2010, 11:20 AM

The Valley of Zombies
Leader: Aristotle Drake
Economy: Autocratic
Government Type: Dictatorship
Background: Theoretical Physicist
Starting Region: Cuba
Capital Location: Nueva Gerona
Color On Map: Light Blue

HI I'M NEW!!!!!

SpideyFan914

09-05-2010, 11:28 AM

Then may I be the first to say, welcome!

The Huntsman

09-05-2010, 02:45 PM

Well, isn't this exciting? We're now up to twelve players. Since everybody starts with ten resources, I imagine this game is going to heat up rather quickly. Should be fun.

Here is a map of how everything looks at the moment (http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/5564/mapfg.png). The game isn't going to start until VI ends, which could take a few days or a few weeks - I don't know what Johnny has planned - so people are free to change any of their information until then if they don't like what they see.

Raven, I need a name for your nation.

The Huntsman

09-05-2010, 03:39 PM

I've changed the mechanics of naval bases and drop pods so they can't just land at your capital and kill you instantly. They now have to land over 100 pixels away from your capital. This means that smaller nations will be completely immune from them, but it's the only fair thing to do. If people want to change their capital location to make better use of these updated mechanics, feel free to do so.

Also, they can only be used against one nation at a time.

Radical Raven

09-05-2010, 05:26 PM

Thanks for the advice. I suppose in trying to choose between the state's actual capital and its most populous city, I should've looked at a map first. Especially since said capital happens to coincidentally be right in the center of the state.

Which is what I planned all along! Yeah. :rolleyes2: Okay, so changing capital location to Pierre. Not that I already harbor distrust for my distant neighbors, but I'd rather not be seen as easy.

Crud. Now people think I'm easy, and I haven't even properly introduced myself. So much for trying to escape being stereotyped.

You know what, whatever. Even I think it's too dark to be bothered with introductions right now.

The Valley of Zombies
Leader: Aristotle Drake
Economy: Autocratic
Government Type: Monarchy
Background: Theoretical Physicist
Starting Region: Cuba
Capital Location: Nueva Gerona
Color On Map: Light Blue

HI I'M NEW!!!!!

Hello new people! Welcome to RTW! Apologies in advance for killing both of you! :p

Well, isn't this exciting? We're now up to twelve players. Since everybody starts with ten resources, I imagine this game is going to heat up rather quickly. Should be fun.

Here is a map of how everything looks at the moment (http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/5564/mapfg.png). The game isn't going to start until VI ends, which could take a few days or a few weeks - I don't know what Johnny has planned - so people are free to change any of their information until then if they don't like what they see.

Raven, I need a name for your nation.

Bird... city... Eagleland.

Total thinking time = none.

VP VP

09-05-2010, 05:33 PM

I think I'm going to change to a dictatorship, and what do you mean already kill me? Do you not see the ZOMBIE in my country's name?

Jmill

09-05-2010, 05:58 PM

What do you mean already kill me? Do you not see the ZOMBIE in my country's name?

I don't think you get a bonus for zombies.

SpideyFan914

09-05-2010, 06:01 PM

Well, isn't this exciting? We're now up to twelve players. Since everybody starts with ten resources, I imagine this game is going to heat up rather quickly. Should be fun.

PLUS The Cartoon still has to join!

jacob2037

09-05-2010, 08:49 PM

Go Cowboys!

Superpan

09-06-2010, 12:15 AM

Go Cowboys!

Go...

PACKERS!

Hah, subversion!

Also, welcome to the new people. As a former new player, not too long ago, these games don't take much experience to survive. Just pay attention and don't flip-flop too much and you should be fine.

SpideyFan914

09-06-2010, 12:16 AM

We of Holly do not believe in international sporting teams.

Jmill

09-06-2010, 12:30 AM

SpideyFan914

09-06-2010, 12:41 AM

To Mr. Allen:
I would be interested in setting up a network of information with you. Your secret agent background could prove beneficial to me, as my glimpses into the future could prove beneficial to you. Do we have a deal?

Mr. Adam,
Mr. Allen is interested in your proposal. He will send someone to meet with you in your capital, and if you prove useful, the relation may build.
Sincerely, Amy Stone

Radical Raven

09-06-2010, 09:10 AM

VP VP

09-06-2010, 11:05 AM

Jmill

09-06-2010, 11:29 AM

....Pathetic. Already the bloated intercourse, the ridiculous scheming, has begun. :yawn:

Might as well start early, before all the good allies are taken. :D

Would you mind helping a new person out? Or is this one of those every new person for themselves deals?

How exactly will I help you?

VP VP

09-06-2010, 11:44 AM

Alliance? Unless you already have a tightly woven net of connections.....

Jmill

09-06-2010, 11:59 AM

Fair enough. I'll be sending you a message to discuss this.

The Cartoon

09-06-2010, 01:29 PM

You know, I wasn't going to play but I changed my mind. If I don't have time to really get into it and I fall behind, it won't effect the game in a negative way. You guys can just declare war and wipe me off the face of the earth. :)

Nation’s Name: District of Animation (Going back to my first nation, it brought me good luck before)
Leader’s Name: Lance Animor
Economy Type: Socialist
Government Type: Democracy
Background: Reality Show Contestant
Starting Region: Montana
Capital Location: Helena
Color On Map: LIGHT GREEN

The District of Animation was beginning to die, Sitnalta already had. He wasn't sure how it happened, but he had already lost his own land and he didn't want to lose his Grandfather's nation as well. Galileo Cartoon wasn't about to give up just yet on all that he had left for his peaceful people. He'd manage to expand his life with his new technology but he couldn't live forever. He hosted a game show for one million dollars, but it was secretly a test to discover who was worthy of repairing the District. In the end result, Lance Animor was the winner. He was the son of a former Sitnalta criminal Josiah Animor, but Galileo saw creativity and kindness from his heart. He was a quiet and mysterious kid but managed to win the competition with his wit and imagination. Galileo handed him a million dollars, handed him a note about what the competition was really for, and passed away leaving a legacy of peace. Lance Animor has now had greatness thrust upon him and must make the best use of it that he can.

Radical Raven

09-06-2010, 01:57 PM

Alliance? Unless you already have a tightly woven net of connections.....

He does. :anime:

Superpan

09-06-2010, 02:41 PM

So, anywhoo, I've been thinking. If the Founding Fathers could make an organized country out of divided states, why can't we? Why do we have to fight?

So, I propose a temporary alliance called THE UNITED STATES! Any states willing to join will recieve all the typical military benefits, plus a vote in a "congress" of a sort over big decisions that another ally makes (though that ally can just ignore us and veto the bill. Of course, that wouldn't look good for his PR).

Please PM if interested to Superpan at "Send Private Message" under the picture of the boy in green tights.

Freedom Fighter

09-06-2010, 03:21 PM

The following is a recorded transmission from Sabrina Smith, the ruler of the Centrality of Nowhere:

This goes out to all of the nations of North America.

Born Sabrina Stephanie Smith, now known as Queen Sabrina, I am the ruler of the Centrality of Nowhere. Despite being unfairly booted off of 'Mother Earth'... I mean, seriously, to be voted off because I stepped on a daisy? Stupid hippies...

Whatever. They'll get theirs in the end.

Despite that, I became the most popular celebrity to ever come out of South Dakota, and when the United States collapsed, the state did the right thing by naming me queen. As if they had a choice.

Now that the people of South Dakota, now known as the Centrality of Nowhere, are under my control, I've now begun turning my attention to the rest of this lackluster continent. For in the end, only one person can rule the world! And get the one billion dollar prize to the person who succeeds. And, let me implant fair warning... that person had better be me!

I'm well aware that some nations will not stand for this, and, you know what. Who cares? Still, my council has advised me that a more realistic goal would be sharing the prize with a few lucky souls. Besides... what fun would it be if I had no other nations to toy around with?

Therefore, to make sure I get what I want, the nation of Centrality of Nowhere will think long and hard before deciding which nations, if any, to befriend, and which nations, if not all, to try and bury six feet under. Neutrality will be an intermediate, but not long-term option... all other nations will be either with us or against us.

As fair warning, I have produced an irk list. Any nation who does something on this irk list can be grounds for an invasion from my military forces. The more irks you have, the sooner I'll want your head on a pike.

For now, I only have two irks. Pray for your souls that this list does not get longer:
1) TOP SECRET! Violating this particular irk results in an immediate declaration of war. If I feel like it. Seriously, do at your own risk.
2) Any nation who is represented by a light color. Too bright for my tastes.

So, yeah, whatever. Just don't irk me or my kingdom.

End transmission.

SpideyFan914

09-06-2010, 04:52 PM

So I'm changing to an autocratic dictatorship. Thought you should know.

jacob2037

09-06-2010, 05:31 PM

On this edition of INSIDE EDITION we reveal the shocking connection between the Pharaoh, who mysteriously disappeared decades ago, and George Dubya Bush!

Based on information given to us by Stephen Hawking, who is a time travel expert, Glenn Beck, who speaks to God, and Queen Alexandria of Holy Arabia, who was married to the Pharaoh for several centuries, we have been able to piece together this amazing story.

"George Dubya Bush came to me and asked me if he could go back in time and redo his presidency," recalls Mr. Hawking. "So I said yes, he paid me millions of dollars, and I took him to my secret time machine and set the date to January 20, 2001. He disappeared just as he was supposed to, and I thought he had successfully returned to 2001. But I was wrong."

"My Pharaoh had been upset with Allah lately," said Queen Alexandria. "Each time he tried to take over the world, he failed. And he blamed Allah for his failures. My Pharaoh time travelled again again, going to different points in the past... or the future, trying to take over the world."

"And then Pharaoh came to me," said Hawking. "First he called me an evil athiest. Then he asked me if I could help him change the past, because Allah would not help him do that. So I said yes, he paid me millions of dollars, and I took him to my secret time machine. He disappeared just as he was supposed to, and I thought the time travel was successful. But I was wrong."

"Well God has been quite angry with Stephen Hawking lately," said Glenn Beck. "The fact that George Dubya Bush and Pharaoh asked him to help him do what only God is able to do made him even more angry. So he punished both of them, you see. They were sent to 2012. George Dubya Bush still has his humanity, but at a terrible price. *sob* I'm sorry, this is just so sad. Why are people forgetting about God!!?!"

"Do you need a minute, Glenn?"

"Anyway, Pharaoh now lives on the back of George Dubya Bush's head."

Glenn Beck's explanation is logical. George Dubya Bush has been sighted wearing a turban lately, which is strange. And also, at times, sounds as if he is speaking with a thick Middle Eastern accent, which is stranger. Here's a photo of him talking to kids at an elementary school in TEXAS:

1613

~~~

Yes! It is true! Pharaoh is trapped on the back of the evil George Dubya Bush's head. But to make things less confusing, we have agreed to go by the same name, Dubya.

MESSAGE FOR ALLAH

Dubya is sorry for his mistreatment of you, Allah! Dubya will never do this again! Please save Dubya!

Jmill

09-06-2010, 05:59 PM

Someone needs to find the horcruxes of Mr W. before he comes back to life during the Trination tournament.

jacob2037

09-06-2010, 06:33 PM

Someone needs to find the horcruxes of Mr W. before he comes back to life during the Trination tournament.

To this, Dubya says "good luck" with an evil grin under Dubya's turban!

Hehe.. your name without the 'm' is "Jill"!

Be quiet, Dubya!

As you wish, my Lord.

JAG

09-06-2010, 08:56 PM

In the opening post, it says that War Readiness can be increased by spending RES. How much of an increase will each resource give?

The Huntsman

09-06-2010, 09:00 PM

In the opening post, it says that War Readiness can be increased by spending RES. How much of an increase will each resource give?It takes fifty resources to get max war readiness, or twenty-five if you're a general. However, increases in war readiness are permanent, unless you implement a conscription policy.

Superpan

09-06-2010, 09:38 PM

Sabrina, you have another talent: Making me laugh. Paris has gone to your head. You've learned too much too fast and your worldliness has gone soft around the edges. You have romantic ideas. Shall I teach you to be realistic? In one easy lesson. Marry your Frenchman. You'll never have it so good again.

Wait, wrong Sabrina. The beret threw me off, but yeah, if the games I've played online have told me anything is that, even when you have a game expressly built around one person winning the world, people will end it before that point. C'mon, people, why do we have to fight? Don't we all love democracy?

*Looks at front page*

Oh. Well then...

Incidentally, Solomon, I have no idea how you literally broke the fourth wall, but for a fictional character, you sure have mastered the art of the plot twist!

chdr

09-06-2010, 09:47 PM

I'm gonna go and change my capital to Utica.

The Huntsman

09-07-2010, 12:47 AM

I suspect that this game will be beginning soon. People should make any final changes that they deem necessary. Here is a look at the map (http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/5918/mapzn.png).

Any official alliances also need to be made public so that I can add it to the list. You'll need a name. Just like in Rule The World I, you can use your allies' territory to claim new regions or launch an invasion.

Freedom Fighter

09-07-2010, 01:22 AM

Somebody tell the District of Animation that I fell great pleasure in its presence. I also want said nation to realize I take pride in being neighbors with someone who knows what it's like to compete in a reality show.

And if you couldn't tell, I'm being sarcastic. Really, really sarcastic.

The fact that you won a million dollars only tells me one thing. You're a threat. Speaking of which...

Queen Sabrina's Irk List:
3) Any nation who has a leader that won a reality show.

So already, you've violated irks 2 and 3. The only reason I don't want your head on a platter in front of me for dinner right now is because you managed to avoid irk number one. And you don't know how close you came to screwing that up too.

If you decide to expand your borders, I'd think long and hard about which way you go. I'm serious. Your first colonization move could very well be your last!

Sabrina, you have another talent: Making me laugh. Paris has gone to your head. You've learned too much too fast and your worldliness has gone soft around the edges. You have romantic ideas. Shall I teach you to be realistic? In one easy lesson. Marry your Frenchman. You'll never have it so good again.

Wait, wrong Sabrina. The beret threw me off, but yeah, if the games I've played online have told me anything is that, even when you have a game expressly built around one person winning the world, people will end it before that point. C'mon, people, why do we have to fight? Don't we all love democracy?If that's your attempt at flirting, it's horrible.

If that's your attempt at trying to win me over and get me into your alliance... that also was horrible.

As I said before, I am not easy in any way. I am not opposed to being in an alliance, no matter what type of government, but I refuse to be in one just to be in one. So until I think it's worth my while, I'll refuse to be in any alliance.

If you or any other nation still thinks it's worth pitching to me, feel free to. I'll consider all reasonable offers.

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 01:26 AM

JAG

09-07-2010, 02:01 AM

The Huntsman

09-07-2010, 02:45 AM

^ Well, Mexico is a strategically unwise starting point. The US and Canada have large territories, and Mexico does not. Becoming a large nation there will be a long, expensive process. That’s where the “Patriot” background would come in handy. You see, for the fifty-percent bonuses, I tend to round up or down in favor of the player. If you get five resources per round, and you’re a politician, you’ll get eight resources per round instead because I round up. Likewise, patriots can claim regions for a mere two resources instead of the five resources it takes everyone else, because I round down, but they only get that discount in the nation in which they start. (Canada, Mexico, United States) I realize that not every region falls under one of those three, but just roll with it.

jacob2037

09-07-2010, 07:32 AM

You speak as if you have ability to kill Dubya and his great nation of TEXAS, evil Queen Sabrina! This is beginning to annoy Dubya! Perhaps it is you who should watch out for Dubya, for he is far more capable of killing your tiny nation of South Dakota than you are of killing his big nation of TEXAS!

The Cartoon

09-07-2010, 09:36 AM

Poor Cartoon.... Planted himself right in-between three big nations which all want the same states.... And yet, Huntsman is STILL the only one in Mexico! Wow, we're really ethnocentric, aren't we....?
Thought about going to Mexico, but the expansion would move rather slowly in comparison to my area. Freedom Fighter, feel threatened if you wish but there is room for a few nations in the same area. If you wish to declare war for no other reason than my status and location, good luck but I'll put up a fight. ;)

Rattlehead

09-07-2010, 12:06 PM

New plan: move my starting location to Quebec, and put the capital in the northeast corner. I'll call it Brightville.

Keep my other info the same.

Jmill

09-07-2010, 03:41 PM

New plan: move my starting location to Quebec.

Mr. Bright, you are now on my bad side.

evil Queen Sabrina!

Hey, congrats, Ms. Smith. Once you get your nickname from Mr. W, you are officially a part of the world.

As for alliances, I would like to announce one between the nations of The 5th Country, The Valley of Zombies and Holly, known as The Information Network.

jacob2037

09-07-2010, 07:11 PM

Whatever happened to the United States and their good president Barack Hussein, Dubya is wondering? Dubya has been very good friends with Hussein ever since his birth in Kenya (Dubya was nurse at Kenya hospital back then in the 1960s!) and his upbringing at the local Arab boarding school in Saudi Arabia. Dubya was just a custodian at that school in the 1970s, look how far he's come!

Radical Raven

09-07-2010, 07:19 PM

The Huntsman

09-07-2010, 07:28 PM

Rein it in there, Costello, I think at least a third of this post is against the rules.:pJoking or not, I would appreciate it if people would be a bit more respectful in this game. I know it's part of your character, Jacques, but a lot of your comments in Rule The World V irked me and I already had to suggest one member tone down an Anti-Allah post. If people cross too many lines and post things that I don't believe should be posted, I won't hesitate to have The PMB just launch a couple of FOABs right into their nation and ruin them.

Roleplaying is fine. And you can be evil if you want to. But let’s leave real-world things out of it. That’s why I edited out all of the information about Barack Obama that Johnny used in his original game, and that’s why I refused to mention any real religions in the Priest background. I also hope Jacques stops the whole Allah thing because of that.

jacob2037

09-07-2010, 07:35 PM

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 07:39 PM

Jmill

09-07-2010, 07:48 PM

As you wish, Dubya shall release the uncensored version of his rant in his new book, which every citizen of TEXAS will be forced to read! I will send you a copy to your house in Panama, evil Hugh Bliss, if you would like.

I would like a copy, Mr. W. Preferably autographed, I want to be able to sell it on the internet and make enough money to buy some fancy investments.

jacob2037

09-07-2010, 08:02 PM

I would like a copy, Mr. W. Preferably autographed, I want to be able to sell it on the internet and make enough money to buy some fancy investments.

Of course, evil Jill. However you may be waiting for a few years; as you can see Dubya does not have hands so he must rely on the other Dubya to type this book for him.

----

I said write, Dubya!! Why do you not understand this!

What was that last line again?

You have barely finished writing the title, Dubya, quit your complaining! You need to write "Chapter 1: Dubya's Communist Regime." ... No, NO! There is no 'j' in regime! If you make one more spelling mistake, Dubya shall use his death god powers on you!

Apologies, my Lord.

-----

And since Dubya does not have hands, it will be George Dubya Bush's autograph. Will you accept that?

The Huntsman

09-07-2010, 08:16 PM

Eh, political correctness is insane. You can't constantly try so hard to please everybody, 'cause there's always gonna be someone who's unhappy! If anything, these politically "incorrect" jokes are really just making fun of the absurdity of the stereotypes. People are too sensitive about these things....I’m sorry you feel that way, but this isn’t up for debate. There are rules on toonzone that generally prohibit political and religious discussions, and while nobody ever took offense to Pharaoh’s anti-semetic remarks, I don’t want that type of stuff in my game. I don’t think I’m asking too much of people. You can do what you want and behave as you want, and you can lampoon things as long as you do it tastefully, but there’s no need to go around attacking real-world religions or political figures.

JAG

09-07-2010, 08:17 PM

Originally posted by The Huntsman:
and that’s why I refused to mention any real religions in the Priest background.

Well...I can mention 'God', right? I'll try to avoid actual Biblical references or whatever, but a priest not being able to talk about God isn't going to work well.

I'll make it vague, and twist things around enough to make this a fictional religion. Really, Jacques should probably be able to do the same thing with 'Allah', so long as he changes the details a little.

So disregard that whole 'Anti-Allah' post from a few days ago. I'll take my character in a different direction.

The Huntsman

09-07-2010, 08:21 PM

Well...I can mention 'God', right? I'll try to avoid actual Biblical references or whatever, but a priest not being able to talk about God isn't going to work well.Yes, you can mention God. And you can go on Crusades and slaughter infidels. I just prefer that those infidels aren’t “evil jews”, as Pharaoh kept saying in Rule The World V, or any other real-world religion.

jacob2037

09-07-2010, 08:25 PM

That doesn't say rayjeem, that says 'ree-gime'!

There will be no sass from you, Dubya! It says regime!

When you say "Dubya's Communist Regime" are you referring to me or you?

Dubya is referring to Dubya, of course! Now, continue typing or else Laura will not be making dinner for you tonight! I want seventy words per minute from you, now! Type!

But, my Lord!!

No sass, Dubya! Eighty-five words per minute!

JAG

09-07-2010, 08:26 PM

Sounds good, Huntsman. I prefer this way, actually. No need to have to deal with real-world beliefs, practices, etc. I'll just make up my own.

Superpan

09-07-2010, 08:28 PM

George W. Bush was a communist? Mind you, my country offers full seperation of church and state, just like in the first amendment of our blessed Constitution.

Ms. Smith, I have no intention with flirting or threatening anyone on the internet, especially with the current state of government on this continent.

Well, actually, I took offense at alot of what Pharoah did. Hence why I made myself the first line of attack against him. I'll admit it was nice to have a clear-cut bad guy, even though that made the ending of RTW V more bittersweet in that we lost to extremely violent and oppressive people.

That said, my vice-president is out leading the troops, as me and the Joint Chiefs of staff think he has, what IAM told me is a mental disorder from "Dubya"'s home universe, known as "The Crazy". The Joint Chiefs of Staff and I seem extremely susceptible to this disease and thus are being inoculated.

OW....that hurt.

jacob2037

09-07-2010, 08:38 PM

"In addition to Arnold Schwarzenegger... the evil Peter Pan is another one of the evil Stephen Hawking's failed experiments."

How do you spell Shwartsenager?

Come on now, Dubya, you are barely doing 35 words per minute. No dinner for a week! If you do not start typing faster, you will be sitting backwards and turbanless at the Cowboy's games! ... "Peter Pan is an evil Canadian robot designed to imitate so-called Canadian "heroes" like Johnny McDonald. However he fails miserably each time, and he is so pathetic he cannot even get a role in popular robot movie like the evil Arnold Schwarzenegger!"

Superpan

09-07-2010, 08:41 PM

Someone called me Peter Pan...

I'm the President of the United States and Peter Pan...

LIFE IS AWESOME!!!!

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 08:44 PM

I’m sorry you feel that way, but this isn’t up for debate.
*sigh* Very well. No offensive remarks.

That doesn't say rayjeem, that says 'ree-gime'!

There will be no sass from you, Dubya! It says regime!

When you say "Dubya's Communist Regime" are you referring to me or you?

Dubya is referring to Dubya, of course! Now, continue typing or else Laura will not be making dinner for you tonight! I want seventy words per minute from you, now! Type!

But, my Lord!!

No sass, Dubya! Eighty-five words per minute!

This is offensive to Communists!!

Superpan

09-07-2010, 08:48 PM

This is offensive to Communists!!

This is offensive to Capitalists and Conservatives!

:P

I should probably stop starting trouble...

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 08:51 PM

This is offensive to Capitalists and Conservatives!

:P

I should probably stop starting trouble...

Oh, and why's that?? Are they really so stuck-up that they can't accept Communism as a legitimate system?? Why does it always have to be evil?? Just by grouping someone as evil as Dubya with Communism, you are amplifying stereotypes and encouraging hatred! Communists are people too, and to treat them like Lord Voldemort is nothing BUT offensive!

The Huntsman

09-07-2010, 08:52 PM

*sigh* Very well. No offensive remarks....about real-world religions and leaders. You're acting like it's a major issue for you, but it seems minor to me. You all can still be jerks to one another and you all can still be jerks to the NPCs. And you can reference real-world things and bad-mouth the Yankees or the Red Sox or whatever. You can do a lot of things. I've just requested that people leave real-world religions and leaders out of it. Seems like a fair request to me.

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 08:55 PM

...about real-world religions and leaders. You're acting like it's a major issue for you, but it seems minor to me. You all can still be jerks to one another and you all can still be jerks to the NPCs. And you can reference real-world things and bad-mouth the Yankees or the Red Sox or whatever. You can do a lot of things. I've just requested that people leave real-world religions and leaders out of it. Seems like a fair request to me.

Oh, sure, so just because they're not TECHNICALLY a formal religion, Communists are fair game! You anti-red flag, redneck -

Mod Note: Keep the boards clean.

Superpan

09-07-2010, 08:56 PM

You do know that equating Dubya with Wizard Hitler would probably hurt Bush's feelings if he liked comics, cartoons, or read Harry Potter? Everyone gets offended, and honestly, what I think Huntsman meant, is that we don't go selling Jews to Nazis to start a second Holocaust like in RTW V. That may be going a bit far, even if some of the more story-minded of us may think that horrible acts like that actually enhance the stakes in a war. That said, I understand his point and as I said before, I wasn't totally comfortable with my people being hearded into concentration camps in that game either.

First time I've seen the word redneck used on a board. Strange.

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 08:58 PM

You do know that equating Dubya with Wizard Hitler would probably hurt Bush's feelings if he liked comics, cartoons, or read Harry Potter? Everyone gets offended, and honestly, what I think Huntsman meant, is that we don't go selling Jews to Nazis to start a second Holocaust like in RTW V. That may be going a bit far, even if some of the more story-minded of us may think that horrible acts like that actually enhance the stakes in a war. That said, I understand his point and as I said before, I wasn't totally comfortable with my people being hearded into concentration camps in that game either.

So we aren't allowed to commit acts of human rights violation even if it's a strategic maneuver with which we hope to win the game?

Also, this post is offensive to Nazis. And Hitler!

The Huntsman

09-07-2010, 09:01 PM

[I]Everyone gets offended, and honestly, what I think Huntsman meant, is that we don't go selling Jews to Nazis to start a second Holocaust like in RTW V. That may be going a bit far, even if some of the more story-minded of us may think that horrible acts like that actually enhance the stakes in a war.Bingo. Also, the reason I'm not using real political figures is that, later on, I was going to have an event where the secret agent is going to get a chance to try to assassinate the president. I think it would be in better taste to use a fictional president instead of the real one. Is that so damn unreasonable?

I'm getting close to cancelling this game because people are trying to make mountains out of molehills. It's a reasonable policy. Deal with it.

And I don't appreciate that fake "mod note" that you posted, SF.

Freedom Fighter

09-07-2010, 09:06 PM

The following is a live transmission:

I have messages? I hate messages!

(presses playback button on machine)

You speak as if you have ability to kill Dubya and his great nation of TEXAS, evil Queen Sabrina! This is beginning to annoy Dubya! Perhaps it is you who should watch out for Dubya, for he is far more capable of killing your tiny nation of South Dakota than you are of killing his big nation of TEXAS!Ooh... somebody sounds scared.

Freedom Fighter, feel threatened if you wish but there is room for a few nations in the same area. If you wish to declare war for no other reason than my status and location, good luck but I'll put up a fight. ;)I don't have an issue with your current location, it is where your empire might expand to next that I have issue with.

But just to show good faith, my council has advised me to strike my recently established third irk from the books. Therefore, I only have two irks currently, you're now only in violation of one of the two, and now I'm encouraged to only simply dislike you rather than hate you.

Hey, congrats, Ms. Smith. Once you get your nickname from Mr. W, you are officially a part of the world.But Queen Sabrina is my name!

Ms. Smith, I have no intention with flirting or threatening anyone on the internet, especially with the current state of government on this continent.Good.

Ugh. Finally got through all my stupid messages.

(remembers something)

Wait a minute...

(replays first message again)

You speak as if you have ability to kill Dubya and his great nation of TEXAS, evil Queen Sabrina!You think I'm evil? Me?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

End transmission.

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 09:06 PM

Bingo. Also, the reason I'm not using real political figures is that, later on, I was going to have an event where the secret agent is going to get a chance to try to assassinate the president. I think it would be in better taste to use a fictional president instead of the real one. Is that so damn unreasonable?

Really? Awesome!

I'm getting close to cancelling this game because people are trying to make mountains out of molehills. It's a reasonable policy. Deal with it.

And I don't appreciate that fake "mod note" that you posted, SF.

Sorry, it's all in good fun! No need to overreact - I just love sparking controversial discussions and defying the norm! I'm the one who argues AGAINST the existence of free will. ;)

(Although, for the record, though my arguments were blown out of proportion, I DO think you're overreacting. I just don't really care.)

(Also, for the record, i'm Jewish, and I thought Jacques' alliance with the Nazis was a rather interesting development. And I DO think it could be seen as a strategic maneuver....)

Superpan

09-07-2010, 09:08 PM

There's a real President? HE'S ALIVE!

CALL THE VICE-PRESIDENT! CALL THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF! CALL RON HOWARD!

WE HAVE OUR RIGHTFUL LEADER TO FIND!

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 09:08 PM

You think I'm evil? Me?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

End transmission.

Yup. Definitely evil. The maniacal laugh cinches it.

Jmill

09-07-2010, 09:11 PM

But Queen Sabrina is my name!

The "evil" is what I was referring to, Ms. Smith. Typically, Mr. W refers to people as "evil ____" or "good friend _____". You now have evil in his messages, so you are now nicknamed.

It's a lot better than Jill, though.

The Huntsman

09-07-2010, 09:13 PM

There's a real President? HE'S ALIVE!

CALL THE VICE-PRESIDENT! CALL THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF! CALL RON HOWARD!

WE HAVE OUR RIGHTFUL LEADER TO FIND!I laid out some degree of story in the backgrounds. Initially, all three leaders in North America were killed by the Secret Agent. However, due to the Time Travelers' interference, the leaders escaped. This was supposed to set up a big conflict between the Secret Agent and the General, but I'm the only General and I'm in Central America, so I don't care about the U.S.A.

When the time comes, people will be able to try to save the President. Or kill him. Or feed him weasels. Whatever you want to do. But that will be later.

Superpan

09-07-2010, 09:14 PM

Who is this Jill? Is she a guy too? DID ANY WOMEN SURVIVE THE APOCALAYPSE?!

I'm coming for you, Oba.....what was the President's name again? I can't remember. It's like the time travelers have radically changed history.

Freedom Fighter

09-07-2010, 09:14 PM

The following is a live transmission, resumed already in progress:

...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

End transmission... again.

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 09:17 PM

Mr. Pit Allen neither confirms or denies involvement in recent events.

Sincerely,
Amy Stone

jacob2037

09-07-2010, 09:25 PM

I was a little bit offended when then-Sultan got into it with the Nazis. I'm a Jew and sort of Democrat-ish, even though I'm not old enough to vote. Obama is cool. And it shouldn't matter if he was a Muslim or born in Kenya (even though that is technically against the rules), because not all of them are bad like Pharaoh, right?

Despite my somewhat open-minded views I feel the same way about Canadians as Pharaoh does. Someone asked me who the Father of Canada was - I had no idea - and they said Johnny McDonald. :p I thought that was hilarious, even though it's actually John A. MacDonald. Pfft, Canadians think they're so much better than us. :rolleyes: We have real heroes, like Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, and Ronald McDonald.

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 09:27 PM

I was a little bit offended when then-Sultan got into it with the Nazis. I'm a Jew and sort of Democrat-ish, even though I'm not old enough to vote. Obama is cool. And it shouldn't matter if he was a Muslim or born in Kenya (even though that is technically against the rules), because not all of them are bad like Pharaoh, right?

Despite my somewhat open-minded views I feel the same way about Canadians as Pharaoh does. Someone asked me who the Father of Canada was - I had no idea - and they said Johnny McDonald. :p I thought that was hilarious, even though it's actually John A. MacDonald. Pfft, Canadians think they're so much better than us. :rolleyes:

EGAD!!!
Jacques is more like Jaques than Pharaoh?? Who knew?

Superpan

09-07-2010, 09:30 PM

Jaques doesn't like Canadians? I'M 1/4TH OFFENDED!

No, but Ronald McDonald was a great American hero.

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 09:31 PM

Jaques doesn't like Canadians? I'M 1/4TH OFFENDED!

No, but Ronald McDonald was a great American hero.

Jaques doesn't believe in Canadians.

It's JACQUES who doesn't like Canadians!

Freedom Fighter

09-07-2010, 09:34 PM

The following is still a live transmission, once again in... well, you get it by now:

...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...haha... heh heh.

Whew. I think I almost died of laughter there. That would've been so uncool. Or maybe it would've been cool. You know what... let me think about that.

Honestly, if you and big ol' Texas feels threatened by my little (yet mighty) Centrality of Nowhere, then you've got issues. You know you can't beat the cool countries like Holly, Brightville, or The 5th Country, so you've got to pick on little ol' me?

You know what? Just for that, I have absolutely no intention of declaring war on you. Because you don't deserve to have a smug look on your face when you crush me like the little bug I am on the battlefield we all like to call life.

Yup. Definitely evil. The maniacal laugh cinches it.Get it through your thick skull. I am not evil! And that wasn't a maniacal laugh! That was the opposite of maniacal! Which is... which is...

Somebody get me a thesaurus!

(a few seconds later)

Sensible. It was a sensible laugh.

DID ANY WOMEN SURVIVE THE APOCALAYPSE?!I am going to pretend I didn't hear that.

End transmission.

jph139

09-07-2010, 09:40 PM

Well, actually, I took offense at alot of what Pharoah did. Hence why I made myself the first line of attack against him. I'll admit it was nice to have a clear-cut bad guy, even though that made the ending of RTW V more bittersweet in that we lost to extremely violent and oppressive people.

Hey hey hey - Lee wasn't violent! He was super oppressive, though. But he wasn't even a dictator! Socialist monarch. Good stuff there, I guess. Plus, he turned on the Pharaoh and... y'know... stuff.

And also Sitnatla was the REAL winner, I think we can all agree. Won by doing absolutely nothing. :p

Oh yeah, and, uhh, for reference, and stuff, we're more of an aristocracy than a monarchy, y'know? Like. We decide who gets to rule next by vote of the big guys. But it's ninety-nine percent, like, y'know, genetic or whatever. So yeah.

Superpan

09-07-2010, 09:43 PM

Hey hey hey - Lee wasn't violent! He was super oppressive, though. But he wasn't even a dictator! Socialist monarch. Good stuff there, I guess. Plus, he turned on the Pharaoh and... y'know... stuff.

And also Sitnatla was the REAL winner, I think we can all agree. Won by doing absolutely nothing. :p

What about that total war part of World War V, where there was a mass genocide of Americans by the Islamo-African Alliance? The executions in Hollywood? Yeah, Lee was a total nice guy.

Also, I think I deserve some credit for not dying despite my constant getting my butt kicked, thank you very much. Also, Canada was the only happy nation at the end. Just saying...but yeah, Stinalta won.

The Huntsman

09-07-2010, 09:48 PM

It begins. HERE IS THE MAP! (http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/5596/mapmz.png)

MAJOR EVENTS

While much of the world was affected by the collapse, certain pockets remain untouched. In these nations, a humanitarian organization was created with the intent of helping North America rebuild. If you accept their assistance, you will receive five resources. However, they expect you to use those resources to purchase a Public Works Project. They will refuse to help you in the future if you don’t follow through with the agreement.

Utah has been claimed by a group of alien enthusiasts/lacrosse players.

MINOR EVENTS

In Beast Coast, Lou Kochberg has been asked to settle a labor dispute. Workers, unhappy with their lack of benefits and long hours, are seeking to unionize. Management, on the other hand, is convinced that the demands made by the workers can’t be met while maintaining a viable business. If you side with management, per round happiness will decrease by one. If you side with the workers, per round resources will decrease by one. If you can come up with a compromise, per round happiness and per round resources will both increase by one. Representatives from both sides will be on-hand to answer any questions that may be asked.

In Eagleland, a man named Maximilian has arrived at Tommy Locke’s mansion seeking a loan. In exchange for ten resources, he promises to return the favor sometime in the future. What that means, or whether he will even repay his debt at all, is uncertain. Tommy Locke will have to decide what to do.

In Holly, Pit Allen has decided to use the remnants of the movie industry in order to keep his own people content. Holly gains a permanent +1 to per round happiness, and can choose to either raise morality or lower morality by one percent each year.

In Texas, remnants of the Mexican army have crossed the border and attacked a small armory, stealing two resources and lowering happiness by two percent. Rumor has it that somebody claiming to be Pancho Villa is responsible for the attack.

In The Lord’s Republic, the community has brought Minister Carl Hayes a man who committed adultery. The man knows that he has sinned, but he begs for forgiveness in the eyes of god and for a chance at atonement. It is up to Minister Carl Hayes to decide his fate. The decision that is made will send a message to the rest of the community as to what sort of behavior is acceptable in The Lord’s Republic.

The Valley Of Zombies was struck by a Cat 1 hurricane. No significant damage was reported, but happiness has fallen by two percent.

Superpan

09-07-2010, 09:53 PM

I CLAIM WISCONSIN! At last, the Peterson homeland has been restored to the Union! The rest of my family is in Ontario and stuff so....well, they always liked Canada better anyway.

I also accept the humanitarian aid and spend it on a public works project!

Pancho Villa...IS ALIVE! Boy, these months have been filled with surprises!

PEOPLE OF AMERICA, we stand on the edge of the New Frontier, a frontier more daunting then that of the Founding Fathers or of Lincoln himself! BZZZT! We must show to the world that the great democratic experiment will live on to another day! BZZT! That the government by the people, for the people, SHALL NOT PERISH FROM THIS EARTH!

...

STUPID TRANSMISSIONS!

Jmill

09-07-2010, 09:53 PM

I claim Minnesota and take the five resources from the humanitarians. Also, I thank Ms. Smith by calling me a "cool" country.

jph139

09-07-2010, 09:55 PM

Hey hey hey, we're sending our boys into the worst, most crime-infested state in the ex-union - RHODE ISLAND. Go smash some heads and lay down the law, guys.

Also, we're spending, uhh... yeah, let's spend 3 RES to up our war readiness.

Oh, and screw those aid guys. We're fine. We don't need any Feds coming in here to boss us around.

Radical Raven

09-07-2010, 09:57 PM

You know what? Just for that, I have absolutely no intention of declaring war on you. Because you don't deserve to have a smug look on your face when you crush me like the little bug I am on the battlefield we all like to call life.

End transmission.

.....

I am having trouble following Insane Dictator # 386's train of thought. Please clarify.

Also, to the one called Pharaoh; I have looked through the records of history and found several references to you, and allow me to be the first to say that I am simply amazed you are actually still alive. Your existence is an inexcusable affront to the laws of probability that I shall enjoy undoing.

JAG

09-07-2010, 09:58 PM

Let it be known across the land that The Lord has smiled once again upon my Republic. For we have been granted an ally in our quest to unite North America: The Centrality of Nowhere!

THE FROZEN NOWHERE ALLIANCE HAS BEEN FORGED!

So if any of y'all were planning to attack us...well, I wouldn't try it. We have reality-show immunity and God on our side, and that ain't a combination any sane person should want to fight.

Just lettin' you know.
............

In other news, we gladly accept the Humanitarian folks' offer, and put the resources to use on new schools and hospitals.

And as for this sinner y'all have brought to my attention...well, we can't have this adultery garbage goin' on in God's nation. It goes against the Holy Code, and it will not be tolerated. Since he seems honestly repentant, I'll let this guy off easy, with a week in jail. To set himself straight with the Lord, I'd advise sacrificing a couple lemmings and fasting for a few weeks. Future sentences will be considerably harsher. Don't push your luck.

Finally, the good people of The Northwest Territories have seen the light. Welcome aboard!

jacob2037

09-07-2010, 10:10 PM

We claim Louisiana!

No, do not listen to this man, he is not good strategist at all! We really claim New Mexico! And we accept the aid package from the evil humanitarian organization.

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 10:11 PM

Holly expands to Nevada.

Hey, who's that guy who just appeared next to me?? Where'd he come from??

Superpan

09-07-2010, 10:20 PM

Space. Didn't you get the memo? They're aliens. I have been advised to not comment on the irony of this situation by my cabinet or as you may know them, the casts of Happy Days and Boy Meets World.

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 10:26 PM

Holly will accept the aid, and we will choose what to do with it in the forthcoming years. Furthermore, we will choose to increase our Morality by 1.

Sincerely,
Amy Stone

Freedom Fighter

09-07-2010, 10:57 PM

The following is a live transmission from the Centrality of Nowhere:

Okay, first off... somebody in this darn country better find me a better high-speed way of communication. Because this sucks! And make it quick, people! Or heads will roll. HEADS WILL ROLL!

Secondly, the Centrality of Nowhere has decided to save the state of Iowa from the impending Dark Ages and make them part of our country. Show me you deserve it by presenting me a friendly offering...

Corn? CORN? I HATE CORN! IT'S ALL YELLOW, AND I HATE YELLOW! GIVE ME SOMETHING... ooh! You say there's a Hostess Snack Cake factory in your state? Mmm... I love me some chocodiles and ding dongs. Gimme half a dozen boxes of each and I'll send you all of the requisite forms to make sure all of your citizens are given all their justifiable rights.

The Centrality of Nowhere has decided to help the humanitarian organization, but we refuse to enact a Public Works Project as compensation.

(random council member whispers into Queen Sabrina's ear)

What? I don't wanna be happy, so the people don't wanna be happy! What is this nonsense that Public Works Projects induce happiness, which is what you think the people want?

(more whispering from random council member)

Fine. I still get to be unhappy, right?

(nods from all the council members)

Ugh... the Centrality of Nowhere happily agrees to help the humanitarian organization and enact a Public Works Project as compensation.

Oh, and hail the Frozen Nowhere Alliance!
In Texas, remnants of the Mexican army have crossed the border and attacked a small armory, stealing two resources and lowering happiness by two percent. Rumor has it that somebody claiming to be Pancho Villa is responsible for the attack.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... hahaha... heh heh.

I really need to stop doing that. I'm not supposed to be happy. I'm supposed to be the opposite of happy. Which is... which is...

Thesaurus!
.....

I am having trouble following Insane Dictator # 386's train of thought. Please clarify.(looks at color of flag)

No.

End transmission.

Rattlehead

09-07-2010, 11:17 PM

I ACCEPT the OFFERING made BY the HUMANITARIAN organization!

In ADDITION, I CLAIM Newfoundland AND Labrador.

And THE forecast TODAY is SUNNY as S%@*! Good DAY!

Superpan

09-07-2010, 11:36 PM

Hmmm....Well, this complicates my plans a bit. I shall continue.

Fellow rulers, former Americans, former countrymen, lend me your ears. Since the collapse of our nation one year ago, we have lost all inter-state commerce. That said, my nation, now consisting of Illinois and Wisconsin, will have a near monopoly on several products. We thus have much excess and so, here's our proposition.

TOILET PAPER- Since the fall of our country, we have run out of toilet paper faster than Cuba did before the fall! Luckily, with the successful integration of Green Bay, the toilet paper capitial of the world, we can get rid of leaves and finally clean our bums! The minimum price for toilet paper is 1 resource and that one resource will give your nation 2 happiness. Every resource will double by 2 your happiness. 2 resources for toilet paper equals 4 more happiness for your nation and so on.

Cheese/Milk- Seriously, you have to ask? Cheese, Pizza, cheese sticks...who doesn't love cheese? Cheese has a minimum price that is 2 resources, which will give your nation 4 happiness. Since Milk, CHOCOLATE MILK, and yogurt are more expensive to produce, there is an additional price of 2 resources for Milk products, which will give you 6 happiness.

Corn-Discount price for 2 years only; subject to continuation-In addition to being a a delicious food and easily maneuverable product, it also can power your cars! With the loss of the oil fields in the middle east, Corn oil will power your cars and other oil-based technology for the time being. For a limited time only, corn costs a minimum of 3 resources and in exchange, will give your nation 8 happiness and 2 War Readiness since Corn oil powers vehicles.

Wheat- Discount price for two years only-The breadbasket of America! Bread, pasta, these wheat fields will satisfy your nation's tase buds better than a McDonald's (WHICH WE ALSO OWN!). Wheat costs a minimum of 3 resources in exchange for 10 HAPPINESS and 4 war readiness, since your soldiers will be well-fed.

RULES FOR TRADE

Unless a permanent agreement is reached, every trade will only build happiness and War readiness for that year only. Further resources must be exchanged every year for more.
For every resources added to the minimum price, 2 additional happiness and, for corn and wheat, 2 additional war readiness will be added to your stats.
The USA reserves the right to impose tariffs and embargos as it sees fit. That said, neither will affect previous transactions.
The USA is willing to negotiate a price for beef. It will give you much happiness and a little war readiness as well.
YOU CAN BUY ON CREDIT, IF YOU MAKE AN AGREEMENT. The US has the right to get collateral if that agreement is paid.
So. Any takers?

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 11:44 PM

Mr. Peterson,

Thank you for your offer, but I'm afraid you are mistaken. Holly was formed toward the beginning of the government collapse, and has thus remained isolated from the disastrous outside effects. In fact, we currently have no need for any trade at all - behind it's large walls, Holly is a plentiful nation, self-sustaining nation. Nothing goes in, and nothing goes out.

Sincerely,
Amy Stone

The Huntsman

09-07-2010, 11:48 PM

So. Any takers?Well... that's an imaginative way to make use of the new game's mechanics. In the future I would appreciate it if you would run anything like that by me before you post it, but I guess I'll allow it. Why not? But this is going to be the free market at its worst, no regulation, so don't expect me to come in and enforce whatever weird deals for corn you all make.

Superpan

09-07-2010, 11:49 PM

Well, you'll run out in a few years, dont'cha know?

As I said, we will set up any deals for credit and beef. We are willing to negotiate. The rest are fairly straightforward.

SpideyFan914

09-07-2010, 11:57 PM

Actually, we do not believe we will run out of any necessities. Our people are thoroughly content. Thank you anyway.

Hm.... I need a funny character....

Superpan

09-08-2010, 12:26 AM

I have my vice-president, but I wish he had a more memorable name.

SpideyFan914

09-08-2010, 12:51 AM

Hm.... He's gotta be named Max.... 'Cause all funny secret agents are named Max.... Like, Max Power, Max Danger.... Wait, what's that? Max Danger isn't actually real? SWEET!

Now, let's see.... Cocky attitude, thinks he rules.... actually kinda sucks.... Everyone hates him, including Pit, but.... they put him on stupid fake assignments so he'll stop bugging them.

Furthermore, Max's arsenal includes highly-equipped handguns with enough ammo that something might actually hit something, really long grappling hooks to scale really tall buildings, awesome super-high-tech utility belt with all sorts of cool stuff that he doesn't know he has, and, of course, a wristwatch!

This. Is. MAX DANGER!!!

Daaaa-da-da-da-da! MAX DANGER!!! Daaaa-da-da-da-da! MAX DANGER!!!
Heeee's so very cool! MAX DANGER!!! Thiiiiis is an awesome song! MAX DANGER!!!
Hello to the super secret world! Hey, don't tell anyone, but.... I'M ON A SUPER SECRET MISSION!!! Just part of a day's work for.... MAX DANGER!!!

The Cartoon

09-08-2010, 12:53 AM

I humbly accept the five resources. And new residents of Utah, I too am an alien enthusiast. Don't know much about lacrosse, but I like to watch it on TV every now and then if I'm really bored. Also, I claim Saskatchewan.

The Huntsman

09-08-2010, 06:16 AM

So. Any takers?Despite what I said earlier, I think I'm going to have to shut down your market. It makes it too easy for people to get war readiness up, and it essentially makes purchasing public works projects a pointless endeavor. However, I like your entrepreneurial spirit. I'll try to come up with an event for you in the next round or two that will give you a chance to start a business that doesn't break the game.

VP VP

09-08-2010, 02:50 PM

Can anyone sum up what has just happened for me please? Oh, and I will claim Haiti.

Radical Raven

09-08-2010, 03:40 PM

I claim Georgia. I also accept the Aid Package and use it to buy a Public Works.

I refuse to aid Maximillian at this date. Maybe if he did me a small favor first, I would consider it. He may PM me if he is interested.

jacob2037

09-08-2010, 03:52 PM

Can anyone sum up what has just happened for me please? Oh, and I will claim Haiti.

Dubya won the raffle so you must pay all your resources and happiness to him at once.

Jmill

09-08-2010, 04:04 PM

As you know, I know the future. And I'll give you some of the future information for a price if you aren't my ally. The price is negotiable, but I do set a suggested price depending on the info. The more valuable the info, the higher I price it.

The info for year 2013 is set at 2 RES. If you are interested, let me know.

jacob2037

09-08-2010, 04:08 PM

VP VP

09-08-2010, 04:55 PM

I'm lost, but okay I'll try to keep up.... I think.....

Superpan

09-08-2010, 05:02 PM

Despite what I said earlier, I think I'm going to have to shut down your market. It makes it too easy for people to get war readiness up, and it essentially makes purchasing public works projects a pointless endeavor. However, I like your entrepreneurial spirit. I'll try to come up with an event for you in the next round or two that will give you a chance to start a business that doesn't break the game.
Alright, I understand.

Unfortunately, Congress has voted down my trade idea and so I will have to pull back my offer.

THAT SAID, WE ARE STILL OPEN TO PEOPLE LENDING US RESOURCES AND THEN PAYING THEM OFF DOUBLE THE PRICE EVERY FIVE YEARS!

As you may guess, Mr. Adams, my country is very poor in resources and thus can't afford to know anything about this future of yours.

Jmill

09-08-2010, 05:18 PM

THAT SAID, WE ARE STILL OPEN TO PEOPLE LANDING US RESOURCES AND THEN PAYING THEM OFF DOUBLE THE PRICE EVERY FIVE YEARS!

As you may guess, Mr. Adams, my country is very poor in resources and thus can't afford to know anything about this future of yours.

My rates are negotiable and I do accept anything. If you have that resource donation policy, perhaps you could increase the payment rate for me in exchange for some info. I'm open to anything.

Superpan

09-08-2010, 05:24 PM

Alright....

Donate 4 resources and information and over 5 years, you'll get 8 resources, at around 2 a year (the fifth year is if anything unexpected happens and we miss ayear with payments).

Also, you stop getting resources if you side against us in war or take action against us.

Deal?

Jmill

09-08-2010, 05:27 PM

Superpan

09-08-2010, 05:30 PM

I'd agree to that, though you still lose everything if you go to war with us. Deal?

VP VP

09-08-2010, 05:46 PM

Careful there, don't forget that you're in an alliance Mr. Adams. If you decide not to take action against him, won't that mean we can't either?

chdr

09-08-2010, 05:54 PM

As the president-mayor of a city known the world over for its shrewd businessmen and hard workers, I'd like to offer a compromise between the two groups: while workers may not join unions, I will be passing a new bill that makes it mandatory for businesses to give workers above-adequate pay and health-care they should expect from our fair city-country.

I also accept the offer of five resources and will be using it for Public Works. Buffalo in the wintertime is a war zone without enough snowplows and paved roads.

Speaking of resources, I'm taking Pennsylvania. We'll use those coal deposits a whole lot better than *shudder* ...Philly... ever would.

Superpan

09-08-2010, 05:57 PM

....

Why would Cuba be interested in the midwest? What have we ever done to you or would do to you?

We'll sign a peace treaty with anyone who isn't a malevolent dictator, so...want to sign a peace treaty?

The Huntsman

09-08-2010, 06:04 PM

As the president-mayor of a city known the world over for its shrewd businessmen and hard workers, I'd like to offer a compromise between the two groups: while workers may not join unions, I will be passing a new bill that makes it mandatory for businesses to give workers above-adequate pay and health-care they should expect from our fair city-country.Management Rep: You call that a compromise? You’re giving in to all of their demands! If you haven’t noticed, the world has gone to hell and we’re lucky to even be in business at all. We’ll increase their pay, but only if you agree to pay for their health-care. If accepted, both sides will be content, but certain events will take more resources in the future because the citizenry relies on the government.

chdr

09-08-2010, 06:36 PM

Management Rep: You call that a compromise? You’re giving in to all of their demands! If you haven’t noticed, the world has gone to hell and we’re lucky to even be in business at all. We’ll increase their pay, but only if you agree to pay for their health-care. If accepted, both sides will be content, but certain events will take more resources in the future because the citizenry relies on the government.I'll agree to that, but once the market turns upward and you guys can foot the bill, I will expect you to chip in at least some part of those costs. Can't be a welfare state forever.

Jmill

09-08-2010, 06:39 PM

Careful there, don't forget that you're in an alliance Mr. Adams. If you decide not to take action against him, won't that mean we can't either?

Actually, it wouldn't.

I'd agree to that, though you still lose everything if you go to war with us. Deal?

I suppose I can live without attacking you for six years. Deal. I give four resources to Mr. Peterson.

Radical Raven

09-08-2010, 07:32 PM

The Huntsman

09-08-2010, 07:33 PM

If people notice any incorrect stats on the front page, let me know. Dealing with so many numbers can be confusing at times.

HERE IS THE MAP! (http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/7091/mapmn.png)

MAJOR EVENTS

The PMB, upset that the humanitarian organization sent in aid without their permission, has tightened their grip in the region. Regardless of decisions made, no more outside resources will be flowing into North America.

MINOR EVENTS

In Bostonia, the don’s men are approached by remnants of the Rhode Island National Guard. There aren’t enough of them to pose any challenge and they could easily be killed, but the commanding officer is a man with a lot of experience. This is what he has to say.

Listen, I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but the President of the United States has authorized me to unite the nation by any means necessary. Unfortunately, our capacity to carry out this assignment is limited at best because most of our men deserted once everything went to hell. If you are willing to help save this god-forsaken nation then I’ll do what I can to train you degenerates how to really fight. And if we succeed, we’ll make sure that the don is rewarded for his valiant defense of the nation.

Johnny O'Sullivan needs to decide whether or not to accept his offer, but if he chooses not to, he should decide what to do with the soldiers. He has been given the authority to act by the don, but acting against the best interests of the family would be inadvisable. If accepted, Bostonia will gain the “military experience” bonus, but will be expected to help Uncle Sam.

In Centrality Of Nowhere, a local network wishes to cash in on Queen Sabrina’s popularity and has proposed the creation of a new reality show. It would follow her around as she governs the land, occasionally issuing challenges that can be accomplished for rewards, but being on camera all day means that you will no longer be able to issue private orders.

In Texas, a militia was formed by the citizenry in order to hunt down and exterminate those who dared mess with them. Happiness in Texas has decreased by five percent because the government failed to take action, but the militia eagerly picked up the slack, chasing the soldiers into Chihuahua, which is now a part of Texas, and distributing frontier justice.

In The New United States Of America, a man named Maximilian has arrived at the capitol seeking a meeting with Troy Peterson. In exchange for ten resources, he promises to return the favor sometime in the future. What that means, or whether he will even repay his debt at all, is uncertain. Tony Peterson will have to decide what to do.

Jmill

09-08-2010, 07:37 PM

I claim Michigan this year.

Radical Raven

09-08-2010, 07:41 PM

If people notice any incorrect stats on the front page, let me know. Dealing with so many numbers can be confusing at times.

.

You didn't deduct the two RES I gave to Jmill - understandable, since it was only a minute ago that I did it.

jph139

09-08-2010, 07:43 PM

Uhh, yeah, two more RES to keep us ready for war, y'know? Gotta keep up defenses. Can't go soft.

Johnny O'Sullivan needs to decide whether or not to accept his offer, but if he chooses not to, he should decide what to do with the soldiers. He has been given the authority to act by the don, but acting against the best interests of the family would be inadvisable. If accepted, Bostonia will gain the “military experience” bonus, but will be expected to help Uncle Sam.

What? No freakin' way. The US is gone, dead, bam. And we ain't bringing that back. Bostonia is the new wave. America is for the history books. Why help send the don back to a criminal when we can let him be a king? Let's take these guys out to the woods and, uhh, give 'em a nice warm dinner, if you catch my drift.

...and if you don't catch my drift, that means kill 'em. But we ain't telling the people. Make sure it stays covered up.

As for the rest of you mooks? NEW ENGLAND IS MINE. All six states. Anyone touches 'em, you better watch your kneecaps. Right? Yeah.

Jmill

09-08-2010, 07:47 PM

Just got my flash forward, and ooh, it's a big one. I'm setting my rate at 4 RES. In addition, I will only tell one person this.

JAG

09-08-2010, 08:00 PM

We're claiming British Columbia this year. It'll be nice to have some land that ain't frozen all the time.

And we may as well put three resources into training ourselves a decent army. Our militia are devoted 'n all, but they've never had to fight anything worse than polar bears. We can't afford to get sloppy and let some bunch of heathens invade us. Can't imagine God would take too kindly to his people gettin' overrun.

jacob2037

09-08-2010, 08:16 PM

In Texas, a militia was formed by the citizenry in order to hunt down and exterminate those who dared mess with them. Happiness in Texas has decreased by five percent because the government failed to take action, but the militia eagerly picked up the slack, chasing the soldiers into Chihuahua, which is now a part of Texas, and distributing frontier justice.

You evil Hugh Bliss, you spell TEXAS wrong! It is not "Texas", it is "TEXAS"!!!!!

Secondly, Dubya does not care about his people's needs. If their unhappiness buys Dubya more land, Dubya is happy.

We claim Chihuahua!

No, you idiot Dubya, our unhappy citizens have already given Chihuahua to us! The real claim is COLORADO. Now Dubya may teach Dubya how to ski on these high mountains.

Oh, and Dubya will be creating chapter in his book about reasons why the United States Military should go under Dubya's control. He will be sending free copy to Vice President in Hawaii Island. You shall read this book, Mr. Vice President, it will be very very good!

Freedom Fighter

09-08-2010, 08:22 PM

Just to be sure before making a decision, no private orders I assume no private messages...:
1) Until proposed reality show ends, regardless of who ends it, OR
2) Until the entire game ends.

Jmill

09-08-2010, 08:23 PM

The real claim is COLORADO.

I really don't like you, Mr. W. Fortunately, I'll be getting a border with you in the next few years, and we can settle it on the battlefield.

The Huntsman

09-08-2010, 08:31 PM

Just to be sure before making a decision, no private orders I assume no private messages...:
1) Until proposed reality show ends, regardless of who ends it, OR
2) Until the entire game ends.I can't stop you from sending private messages, but your communications with me won't be private. That means that you won't be able to declare a private war or make other decisions via PM to me.

Regardless, it will be in effect until the show ends.

chdr

09-08-2010, 08:42 PM

I'd like to use some of my points to take West Virginia and Ohio.

Freedom Fighter

09-08-2010, 08:47 PM

The following is a live transmission from the Centrality of Nowhere:

Still? Where's my technology adviser? Send for my technology adviser!

While I wait for him, the Centrality of Nowhere continues to enact Stage 1 of its plan by expanding southward, to the state of Nebraska. As a thank you from being saved from the apocalypse, I require a one-time friendly offering...

MORE CORN? I know TV coverage is spotty after everything that's happened, but it's your responsibility to pay attention to your neighbors!

Wait... Nebraska's the birthplace of Kool-Aid, right? I'll make the admittance of Nebraska into my nation official if that Kool-Aid man thing grants me a private audience... and a freshly made pitcher of Kool-Aid. I'll let him choose the flavor.

Oh, and regarding the reality show? Tell the network I'll get back to them shortly.

End transmission.

The Huntsman

09-08-2010, 08:48 PM

I'd like to use some of my points to take West Virginia and Ohio.While multi-tasking is allowed in this game, I can't allow people to claim multiple regions at once. So which one do you want?

chdr

09-08-2010, 08:49 PM

West Virginia.

Superpan

09-08-2010, 09:24 PM

Hmm....

I claim Indiana and will start paying Mr. Adams back in two years.

That said, Mr. Maximillian, I have to say....

Tony Peterson?

'ey, a bada-bing-bada-boom. I'm Tony Peterson and I've been a-told to deal with you, Maximillian. First off, what is this favor that you wish for most of my country's resources? The president needs to know what you're doing before investing any resources in this.

Capisce?

VP VP

09-08-2010, 09:38 PM

I'll take over the Dominican Republic (Not that there's much of a Republic there anymore).

The Huntsman

09-08-2010, 10:00 PM

Tony Peterson?I have a lot of data to deal with. Mistakes happen.

Capisce?I am seeking funding for my latest project. My previous backers sort of died… violently… but mistakes were made and I now know what I need to do. What is my project? I’m afraid I can’t comment on that. However, when I succeed, I will create one for you as well.

If you will not help me, I will find someone else who will.

Superpan

09-08-2010, 10:01 PM

Can I give you 4 resources toward it?

Jmill

09-08-2010, 10:07 PM

Mr. Maximillian, I will fund your project with ten resources.

Superpan

09-08-2010, 10:15 PM

Eh...will you respond to my offer?

SpideyFan914

09-08-2010, 10:19 PM

Holly will claim Arizona this year. Furthermore, we'd like to report a computation error - we accepted the 5 Resources last year, though we did not spend them. We would like to spend 3 of these on War Readiness. Furthermore, we would like to ask why our Morality has gone down?

Sincerely,
Amy Stone

Freedom Fighter

09-08-2010, 10:22 PM

The following is a live transmission from the Centrality of Nowhere:

Okay, so no technology adviser and no Kool-Aid man. Do people and mascots not understand that when I require their presence, that it must be post-haste if they wish to keep their heads?

(council member walks up to Queen Sabrina and whispers something into her ear)

Finally! Tell him he may enter.

(Kool-Aid Man bursts in through the wall facing the throne)

OH YEAH!

You know... I thought that would be funnier OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

(two guards enter to drag Kool-Aid Man away as a glass of grape-flavored Kool-Aid is presented to the queen)

OH NO!

Wait!

(the guards stop just as they grab the mascot; Queen Sabrina takes a sip from the glass)

Looks great, tastes horrible. Hmmm...

(technology adviser meekly enters room; the Queen points at him)

OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

(guards let go of Kool-Aid Man; grab technology adviser and drag him out of the room instead)

I'm satisfied. You may go, bringer of sweet beverages.

OH YE...

FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND I'LL HAVE EVERY PITCHER IN THE KINGDOM SMASHED... STARTING WITH YOUR HEAD!

(Kool-Aid Man nods, then exits the chamber as fast as possible)

Now, someone find me a new geek! Someone who can bring the Centrality of Nowhere into the 21st Century.

End transmission.

Rattlehead

09-08-2010, 10:22 PM

Huntsman I think YOU have GIVEN me TOO many RES. I should HAVE nine, IF I counted RIGHT.

I WOULD also LIKE to PURCHASE four WAR Readiness POINTS.

The Huntsman

09-08-2010, 10:24 PM

Furthermore, we'd like to report a computation error - we accepted the 5 Resources last year, though we did not spend them.But you did expand. That cost five resources.

Huntsman I think YOU have GIVEN me TOO many RES. I should HAVE nine, IF I counted RIGHT. Didn't you accept the humanitarian aid? You didn't specify that you were buying a Public Works Project, however.

The Huntsman

09-08-2010, 10:30 PM

Eh...will you respond to my offer?Possible, but it could undermine results. The 5th Country’s offer is much more appealing. May I suggest a joint investment? Ten resources may be better than four, but fourteen is better than ten. More resources devoted to the project will increase the chances of getting desired results.

SpideyFan914

09-08-2010, 10:31 PM

But you did expand. That cost five resources.

Yes, the nation of Holly apologizes. Mr. Allen will hold those three resources then, but we still claim Arizona.

Sincerely,
Amy Stone

Superpan

09-08-2010, 10:35 PM

Possible, but it could undermine results. The 5th Country’s offer is much more appealing. May I suggest a joint investment? Ten resources may be better than four, but fourteen is better than ten. More resources devoted to the project will increase the chances of getting desired results.
We agree to this system. THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES APPROVES THIS TREATY!

Jmill

09-08-2010, 10:44 PM

Mr. Peterson, I am not going to pay two and a half times what you do. Either meet me halfway at seven or I will fund the project alone.

Superpan

09-08-2010, 10:49 PM

Hmmm....

If I pay seven, three of those will come out of the fund to pay you.

I will up my pay to Seven resources!

jacob2037

09-09-2010, 12:13 AM

***And now, a message from the former President of the United States, George Dubya Bush***

Howdy, and good evening, my fellow former Americans. I have some very good news tonight, I'm divorcing Laura and this weekend I will be getting married to the lovely Johnny O'Sullivan of Bostonia. Can you confirm this, sweetheart? We'd like Preacher JAG to lead the ceremony, which will take place in the great nation of TEXAS. All world leaders are invited!

jph139

09-09-2010, 12:19 AM

Uhh... something like that, I guess. Yeah. Sure, whatever. I guess.

Superpan

09-09-2010, 12:28 AM

Must...ignore..irony of...Bush marrying guy.

Hey, is the current president of the United States invited?

jacob2037

09-09-2010, 12:32 AM

Must...ignore..irony of...Bush marrying guy.

What? What are you talking about? This marriage is between a man and a woman. Do you really think they would let me get married to another man in TEXAS?

Hey, is the current president of the United States invited?

You betcha!

SpideyFan914

09-09-2010, 12:33 AM

Mr. Allen respectfully declines -

Oh, yeah! PAR-TAYYY!!! I am so there! Gonna rock da house!!

Superpan

09-09-2010, 12:36 AM

What? What are you talking about? This marriage is between a man and a woman. Do you really think they would let me get married to another man in TEXAS?

You betcha!

Is this Boston gangster really...SARAH PALIN!!!

Or...wait, I'm confused. I guess I'll find out. I can't believe I'm getting George W. Bush's autograph!

JAG

09-09-2010, 12:41 AM

So....you both understand what you're doing, right? I can legally marry you two, but...y'all're sure this is what you want? I can't imagine this will have a positive impact on your street-cred, Mr. O'Sullivan. But if it's what you want to do, fine by me.

And Mr. Dubya, does the thing on the back of your head know about this? I mean, it only seems fair that you oughta clear this with him before the wedding. Plus, I thought y'all worshipped that 'Allah' guy. I won't get involved in anything connected to him.

But if you gave up on him and want to do this the Good Lord's way, good for ya. I'll be more than happy to help you out.

The Cartoon

09-09-2010, 12:42 AM

I claim Wyoming and that's it for me this round.

jph139

09-09-2010, 12:45 AM

I can't imagine this will have a positive impact on your street-cred, Mr. O'Sullivan.

Hey, Massachusetts is ALL about the gay marriage and stuff. I mean, I'm not gay, but I'm all about that, y'know?

But yeah I'm kinda lost here too, y'know?

Freedom Fighter

09-09-2010, 12:55 AM

The following is a live transmission from the Centrality of Nowhere:

Despite the generous contract offered to me, I have decided that allowing access to my entire kingdom would be... well, detrimental to the success of my plan. Besides, I'm already on the greatest reality show ever... and I'm determined to win it and rule the world!

So, to reiterate, I have rejected the reality show offer from the local network.

***And now, a message from the former President of the United States, George Dubya Bush***

Howdy, and good evening, my fellow former Americans. I have some very good news tonight, I'm divorcing Laura and this weekend I will be getting married to the lovely Johnny O'Sullivan of Bostonia. Can you confirm this, sweetheart? We'd like Preacher JAG to lead the ceremony, which will take place in the great nation of TEXAS. All world leaders are invited!I totally, unequivocally, unbelievably, undeniably, unconstitutionalityally believe that this wedding should...

Transmission cut off.

JAG

09-09-2010, 01:48 AM

Hey, Massachusetts is ALL about the gay marriage and stuff. I mean, I'm not gay, but I'm all about that, y'know?

But yeah I'm kinda lost here too, y'know?

So you're not gay...yet you still plan to marry another man?
......

I'm not quite sure how to respond to this, but it doesn't seem like the kind of thing God would approve of. Y'all're gonna need to straighten this mess out before I agree to help you.

And I'm really not sure I should at this point. *shudders* This whole thing has 'epic blasphemy' written all over it, somehow. I think I'll go sacrifice something and pray for....sanity, or forgiveness, or...something....

Jmill

09-09-2010, 06:41 AM

Hmmm....

If I pay seven, three of those will come out of the fund to pay you.

I will up my pay to Seven resources!

I still don't agree. That's not meeting me halfway, it's just a different way for me to pay more than you.

The Huntsman

09-09-2010, 01:20 PM

I still don't agree. That's not meeting me halfway, it's just a different way for me to pay more than you.I believe he meant that you would both provide seven resources, bringing the total to fourteen.

jph139

09-09-2010, 02:47 PM

So you're not gay...yet you still plan to marry another man?

Yeah I don't know. Bostonian laws make it illegal to marry anyone from another country anyways so I'm kinda lost here.

JAG

09-09-2010, 03:24 PM

^ So as far as you know, the wedding plans are just another twisted hallucination from our buddy Dubya. Good. That's good. I can deal with that.

Your thoughts on the matter, Mr. Dubya?

jacob2037

09-09-2010, 04:10 PM

I already told you, this is not a gay marriage!!!

Yes, Dubya would never allow other Dubya to be involved in any homosexual acts. And, to answer your question, Allah will be overseeing this wonderful wedding.

Superpan

09-09-2010, 05:27 PM

I believe he meant that you would both provide seven resources, bringing the total to fourteen.
Uh yes...if you want, I won't deduct three of those resources from your overall pay.

Feel free to ask what agreement you would be partial to, Maximillian.

Also...I would say "How is this NOT a gay marriage", but we have no Shirley Temples in our states, so....no.

Jmill

09-09-2010, 05:31 PM

If you want, I won't deduct three of those resources from your overall pay.

That is exactly what I want, thank you. I provide seven resources to the cause of Mr. Maximilian.

Freedom Fighter

09-09-2010, 06:04 PM

A fuzzy transmission from...:

...thing working...

...rotten, no-good, country bumpkins...

...North...

...KILL THEM ALL!

Transmission cut off.

jacob2037

09-09-2010, 06:31 PM

Alas! Dubya has finally finished writing his glorious commandments!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF TEXAS

1) Thou shall not insult Dubya. Thou's phone calls are being listened to by Dubya's peeps. Thou's private conversations are being listened to by the glorious Allah. Dubya shall know if thou arith insulting him! The penalty for insulting Dubya or the Ten Commandments or the wonderful nation of TEXAS results in a fine of $250 million and 75 years in prison. If thou ain't able to pay this fine, thou shall be slayed (executed).

2) Thou shall not worship anyone other than Allah. Thou shall not read any books other than the Holy Quran or Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (this one is one of Dubya's personal favorites, he will allow it.)

3) Thou art allowed to watch television only once per week, when Cowboy's are playing football.

4) Thou shant be seen wearing any clothing deemed unacceptable by Dubya.

5) Unless thou art good friend of Dubya, thou art susceptible for random slaying by TEXAS's official executioner, Dick Cheney.

6) Only good friends of Dubya are allowed to use the world wide web.

7) Thou shant cross the borders of TEXAS. If thou is caught doing so, thou shall be painfully executed.

8) If thou art not good friend of Dubya, thou ain't allowed to have children. Any children birthed without Dubya's permission will be sent into the Gulf of Mexico on a raft where, maybe some evil foreigner will rescue thou child but probably not.

9) If thou art not good friend of Dubya, thou ain't allowed to marry. All men and women who marry without Dubya's permission will be slayed. The only exception: If Dubya finds thou woman exceptionally beautiful, thou woman may become Dubya's new wife.

10) If thou art found to be of Canadian ancestry, thou and thou's relatives living within the borders of TEXAS will be immediately slayed.

Jmill

09-09-2010, 06:47 PM

I'll give my next future glimpse away for free to the person who defies most of Dubya Commandments in the best manner.

VP VP

09-09-2010, 06:53 PM

8) If thou art not good friend of Dubya, thou ain't allowed to have children. Any children birthed without Dubya's permission will be sent into the Gulf of Mexico on a raft where, maybe some evil foreigner will rescue thou child but probably not.

Send them to Cuba and I'll have my zombies eat them. Yum.

The Huntsman

09-09-2010, 07:08 PM

HERE IS THE MAP! (http://img838.imageshack.us/img838/8377/mapym.png)

MAJOR EVENTS

Nothing of note has happened.

MINOR EVENTS

In Bostonia, the Rhode Island National Guard is no more. However, as the base itself was being searched in order to make sure that the job was done, an ICBM was found. It has been added to Bostonia’s arsenal.

Edgar Black, Brigadier General of the U.S. Army, has arrived in Texas. The Vice President, Christopher Williamson, has been convinced by his military advisors in Hawaii to send a brigade into the heart of the nation in order to help Dubya restore order. War Readiness has been increased by five percent and Texas now has the “military experience” bonus.

Maximilian has begun working on his project. The current funding is adequate, but The 5th Country or The New United States Of America can send more resources in order to improve upon the eventual results.

VP VP

09-09-2010, 07:16 PM

So I'll claim Puerto Rico next.......

Jmill

09-09-2010, 07:18 PM

I wish to claim Ohio.

jph139

09-09-2010, 07:23 PM

HA HA, hell yeah! Dunno why Rhode Island had a nuke laying around but WHATEVS, I'm psyched.

So yeah, all of you better stay the hell out of my way.

Freedom Fighter

09-09-2010, 07:31 PM

...is this working? It's working? YES!

Finally, the Centrality of Nowhere has caught up to the 21st Century! Those darn hooligans from North Dakota thought they could keep me down. Well to them I say ha! No, wait... HA! There we go.

Fellow countries of North America, the remnant of North Dakota are scum. Scum-diggity scum. Lowest of the low. Even ten times lower than the scum that occupies Texas! That's saying something, 'cause Texas is pretty scummy.

The heathens of North Dakota do not deserve to be saved by any nation! The only thing they deserve is to be left to rot. If there was some way to physically separate that former state from the rest of continent and send it adrift out to sea, I'd do it!

Therefore, I am announcing the removal of red tape and secrecy from the top of my irk list! Heed the warning, especially The District of Animation, for this is the ONLY one you all get!

Queen Sabrina's Current Irk List:
1) The nation that DARES invite North Dakota to be part of their country. Violating this particular irk results in an immediate declaration of war. If I feel like it. Seriously, do at your own risk.
2) Any nation who is represented by a light color. Too bright for my tastes.

Oh, and the Centrality of Nowhere approves of the marriage of Dubya and O'Sullivan. We just refuse to attend the ceremony or give gifts.

Radical Raven

09-09-2010, 07:41 PM

I claim Tennesse.

VP VP

09-09-2010, 07:45 PM

2) Any nation who is represented by a light color. Too bright for my tastes.

So does that mean I'm your enemy?

chdr

09-09-2010, 08:10 PM

I'll take the good ol' Dominion, Virginia.

Freedom Fighter

09-09-2010, 08:22 PM

Just to make sure no one thought I was joking about North Dakota, The Centrality of Nowhere will spend 3 resources to increase war readiness.

Also, welcome Kansas to the Centrality of Nowhere! One-time offering? Cattle! I love me some cattle... even if they're like half-white. Mostly. And they give milk. Who drinks milk? I hate milk! Now, if I can use them to make beef and veal, that's a different story. Offering acceptable!

So does that mean I'm your enemy?*sings* If you have to aaaaaaaaaaaaaask...