Review this Batman Elseworld Story

[carsonm]

Recently i took a part-time temp job at a publishing firm, and came across this Batman story (http://www.geocities.com/jobshop12/) that is being considered. I was asked to find out if this is something that Bat-fans would be interested in, or if it is a waste of time.

Warning!! Language and Violence give this a PG-13 rating!!

I put the first few chapters on the net. If you have the time to read it, i would be greatly appreciated if you gave your opinion.

you can post your opinion here or email me if you have a private opinion.


i was wondering if the story is:

original or played out?

boring or entertaining(hold your attention)?

believable or ridiculous?

What did you like/dislike?

Would you want to read the rest?

Would you pay to read the rest?

To read it, Click here (http://www.geocities.com/jobshop12/)

thanks

[Joe Wagner]

It sounds kind of kewl but it seems to bear a lot of resemblences to Batman Beyond. A better way to approach a story like this might be to actually have Batman as a spirit that has to protect Gotham. Maybe after Bruce Wayne died Dr. Fate or someone of great magical power realized that the city was going to hell - his solution, the resurrection of the bat.

"Bruce Wayne is dead but the bat mantle still walks the streets of Gotham. He has the ability to be nowhere but everywhere at once. He can cause his opponents to see their greatest fear - more often than not by just revealing his beastial form to them. In the process of all these years of protecting Batman runs into a villain that reminds him of his life before - the immortal Demon himself, Ra's Al Ghoul. What happens when the un-dead Knight of the Night faces off against an immortal with ties to his past? The adventure is only beginning...."

That's just my idea though.

-Joe!

[Borg4of3]

Overall: Pretty good set-up, but lacking in it own setting so far. The story really sounds like it could be a story of modern-day Batman except with tracking devices in their cars and neat glasses. It doesn't feel like a future scenario, and there wasn't any real mystery of the Bat. There were many unanswered questions, but the narrative didn't even ask them. Who is the Bat? Where is Bruce Wayne? Where is Gordon? What happened to Arkham? One of the best factors of a 'future' story is to learn what happened to our heroes and villains, and this story didn't touch on that.

Original or Played Out: There is a resemblence to Batman Beyond, in that its a future and darker Gotham, but, once again, it doesn't feel enough like a future scenario.

Boring or Entertaining: It did pique my interest, and I really did feel for Vincent. That scene in the mall with Kari, Jack, Kel, and Vincent is a keeper. The only boring part was at the beginning, focusing on two pretty stereotypical goons. I guess 'Boring' is a good description of listenting to two goons talking for too long. Follow them just enough to show off the newage technology and make us hate their guts, but don't spend too much time on them. That is, unless the rest of the story follows Kel as well, in that case, nevermind.

Believable or Ridiculous: It was believable... a little too believable. Except for Batman's usual super-quickness and gun/stunner-dodging, there wasn't very much suspension of disbelief. Although the glasses technology seemed pretty neat, there wasn't anything else all that special in the gadgets department.

The only other thing I gotta say is that it seems very reminiscent to 'The Mask of Zorro'... which would be an awesome, and fitting story to parallel Batman too!