Shyness

[Dark Spider]

Dark Spider Comment- Shyness

An interesting thing happened to me. It was recently brought to my attention that a few years ago, a girl liked me. Everyone in the school knew at that time...except for me that is. The only clue I was given was various offers to hook me up with her. I thought they were playing so I never answered them. Nobody directly told me that the girl liked me. As for the girl, she never made an effort to talk to me, probably because she was shy.

I find that as a total loss. The girl was a really nice girl and she was about my type. If she even mentioned going out at all, I probably would've dated her. But I never knew... I seen her the other day and she gave me a big smile. She probably remembered how she had a big thing for me (or probably still has one). If I knew at that time how she felt, I would've talked to her...but I had stuff to do. But when I see her again, its gonna be different.

What I'm trying to get at with this story is shyness. Shyness is a great big roadblock in life. Shyness prevents a lot of us from doing the things we want to do, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. There are probably a lot of different people who like someone, but are way to shy and miss out on a potential relationship or maybe a good friendship.

I say overcome shyness and just deal with the consequences. If you're afraid of being embarrased, just remember, there are plenty of more embarrasing situations than getting turned down by someone you liked. If you're afraid of something bad coming out of it at all, then just remember, the more you experience, the stronger you become. You can now handle stuff better because you already know what it feels like.

If you like someone, try to find out if they like you too. Its better to know if they like you or not, than to sit there and wonder if they do. Its a great stress reliever, trust me.

What's the purpose of me telling you all this? Well, I thought it was an interesting subject, and second, I don't want what happened in the above story to happen to anyone else. That was just a loss that I wasn't too happy about.

Well, I'm not worried anymore... because I have Kiyone!
*Looks at avatar and sigh*
I am just madly in love with her...

Anyway, what do you think about shyness? Do you agree with what I said? Do you want to share anything? Can I stop talking like a social worker already? All opinions welcome!!!

[Barb Gordon]

Yeah, I'd have to pretty much agree with everything you've said. And that's a major bummer about that girl. I've always been referred that either the most un-shy person, or a very shy person. Go figure,huh? I have a real close of about 4 friends, but I know tons of other people that I talk to all the time during school. Around my friends I am very hyper, talkative, and anything but shy. Depending on the situation though, I can be considered shy, and I know that I've missed out on a lot of things in my 18 years of life just because of being shy. I even started to make a point of realizing when I was being shy, and not doing it anymore. It took some time, but I'm really proud of myself that I now just jump into situation instead of hanging back and not talking. As an actress, you'd think I'd be good at not being shy. I started taking acting classes with some 13-15 other girls. At first, we were all shy because we didn't want to look like fools in front of each other. That's when I, and the rest of them, finally realized that you just have to jump in. If you're shy, you'll really miss out on a lot. My mom tells me that she was incredibly shy as a kid, which I sometimes find hard to beleive, she always talks to people in lines at the mall or at the supermarket, she strikes up conversations with anyone! But she told me that she had to work hard at not being shy, and she still does. She used to point out my being shy alot. She didn't want me to miss out of the fun she did as a kid. My friends laughed when I mentioned that to them. When I'm around them, I'm anything but shy. I've been thinking it over,and I'm not sure if there are any good things to being shy. I suppose being shy could turn a guy or girl on and get them to come talk to you...but mostly, being shy around people makes them ignore you or not realize things about you. If you don't make a point of jumping in or saying something, no one will realize that you may have had a great idea, or an objection, or also shared that love for something, etc. Well, enough rambling for tonight I think!

Barb^-^

[Chris Sanders MSX]

I agree with everything you said just about except the following.



I say overcome shyness and just deal with the consequences.

It's easier said than done. I am shy, but I deal by using sarcasimn or acting like a confident butt-hole torward girls that show any interest in me....Ironicly it makes it easier for me to make a move..On the inside i'm deatly afraid and really do wish I could come across nicer but being nice makes you more voulnable to rejection.

Plus It's REALLY hard for me to go up to a random girl and just try to get her number, Usually they come to me so I've been spoiled and when a girl tells me she likes me, she's almsot always not my type at all.

[Mattashell]

There is a girl at work who I like alot. She's attractive and she likes alot of the same things I do, but I don't think she knows that I'm into those things because I don't ever talk to people there. For a while I was definitely going to ask her out, but everytime I saw her I just couldn't make myself do it, and I just walked past. I just know I'd get laughed at for trying anyway. She is too pretty to be seen with someone like me. Every girl I've had has aproached me, and that only happened a few times. Also I was alot thinner when I was young. I've never asked anyone out in my life. Now that I'm 25 I know I've missed all my chances for meeting someone. My dating years are behind me. From now on I'm almost definitely going to be alone.

[Djm912]

DAMMIT, I'M IN THIS SCENARIO RIGHT NOW :(

If mysticssjjoe finds this thread, he'll never let me hear the end of it after our break.

I think everything has already been said about it, though.

[kiddiesunshine]

...and the moral of the story is.....shyness sucks. it's ruined me on many occasions.

[Chris Sanders MSX]

Originally posted by Mattashell
There is a girl at work who I like alot. She's attractive and she likes alot of the same things I do, but I don't think she knows that I'm into those things because I don't ever talk to people there. For a while I was definitely going to ask her out, but everytime I saw her I just couldn't make myself do it, and I just walked past. I just know I'd get laughed at for trying anyway. She is too pretty to be seen with someone like me. Every girl I've had has aproached me, and that only happened a few times. Also I was alot thinner when I was young. I've never asked anyone out in my life. Now that I'm 25 I know I've missed all my chances for meeting someone. My dating years are behind me. From now on I'm almost definitely going to be alone.

This is what shows like Blind Date are for. If your not willing to go on a "Blind date" I advise you do what most scared people do, Dpon't go right for the date, go for soemthing seemingly innocent first. You know you guys have mutual interest so just strike up a convo one day and start with someone told me you were into .....And be like you thought you were the only one and ask for her phone number... Things are so much easier on the phone.. so call her and talk as she gets to know you she'll start to like you and then it will be just way easier to ask her if you guys could maybe go on a date. At this point theres no way she'd laugh at you or anything because you guys are cool and besides most girls wouldn't laugh anyway.. ESPECIALLY the ones out of your so called leuage.

When ever you have doubt just think,Billy bob Thorton and Lyle Lovitts.. Girls aren't like most of us guys, they'll take a really good personality or mind of a "hot" guy anyday. I learned that at an early age which is why i'ma ble to turn this whole "butt-hole" thing on and off because girls like funny jerks most of the time and others like that nice smart different guy.. i'm a little of both which is why EVERYONE of my girlfriends has tried to hook back up with me no matter what I did during the relationship.

And trust me I'm not a totally "hot" guy. I'm midly attractive at best but some girls after talking or getting to know me will think of me as much more...

[Joe Wagner]

Ah yes the fun situations of getting a date - I remember them all to well. Personally I think the people that are worried about rejection should go for it. Reason one - a lot of psychology theorists say if something scares you, you should do it because it will bring about personal growth. The second - being a military brat I got to move around - A LOT. I met a lot of different people and realized that the pressures of the crowd really don't mean all that much - even though they may seem important at the time. I went through a lot of my high school years being to shy to ask a girl out and the couple of times I did I was completely rejected (must be my Screech like good looks, j/k :p ).

I think the thing I learned though is that if you want to experience life you might as well shoot for the stars. You will never be able to please everyone, no matter how hard you try. Once you learn that lesson you'll usually find that you get more respect for being yourself than for trying to be something your not.

Dark Spider, I can relate to the situation you had. When I first started working at Wal-Mart there was this girl I thought was very, very cute. The first time I talked to her she was to shy to talk back (altho I just figured she didn't want to talk to me). It wasn't until a couple weeks later that we had a nerf ball fight in the store (on New Years Eve) that we really started talking. Kind of funny though that we didn't realize we were flirting with each other - but everyone else did. About a month later we started dating and now we've been going out for over two years (besting my previous long relationship of a month :eek: ).

The message, take a chance - you never know when it might play out and how it can change your life :D.

-Joe!

[Spooky05]

ahh yes..shyness bad. with friends, i'm the most loud and obnoxious person ever, but alone, i'm just that quiet, strange girl standing in the corner. and if i tried to talk to any of the guys i don't really know that well and i find attractive, they would either be scared off or just laugh at me and walk away. i should really work on my people skills. :rolleyes:

[DR. BELCH]

Some men like the challenge of a quiet, innocent girl who has a shell around her. Too often the outspoken, loud girls are also the most flighty, brainless, trampy, fickle brats who are good for a fling and then that's it. I'm a little shy too, but I've got a genial face that prompts people to talk to/confide in me. I just don't like them too innocent, if you catch my drift...I go for the virginal, yet curious....

[Zapages]

An interesting thing happened to me. It was recently brought to my attention that a few years ago, a girl liked me. Everyone in the school knew at that time...except for me that is. The only clue I was given was various offers to hook me up with her. I thought they were playing so I never answered them. Nobody directly told me that the girl liked me. As for the girl, she never made an effort to talk to me, probably because she was shy.

The same thing happened to me last year because I was the new kid in my HS.. My district has three HS, so I knew no one there...

Also I am not that great looking so I thought people are joking but now I found that they werent....

[JustJack]

Eh...what can I say? It's endeering... :p :D ;)

[Sumi_Masen]

Originally posted by Spooky05
ahh yes..shyness bad. with friends, i'm the most loud and obnoxious person ever, but alone, i'm just that quiet, strange girl standing in the corner. and if i tried to talk to any of the guys i don't really know that well and i find attractive, they would either be scared off or just laugh at me and walk away. i should really work on my people skills. :rolleyes:

I'm the loud and obnoxious one out of my friends, too. I'm also known to flirt alot..... :D . When I'm around guys I like, I try to act the same, but there's this one guy that I'm just way to shy to talk to.... and I've tried talking to him many times.

Last year, there was this guy who I liked, and he even liked me (he told me so himself :p ), and now I kinda regret not doing anything about it..... one of the main reason's I didn't was because my best friend liked him, so I guess I was afraid that she'd totally hate me if I went out with this guy... :(

[Gyro]

I'm usually shy, but when you get to know me I'm not. About getting dates, it's not all that hard. You just have to muster up the courage to ask the person you like out, although that's easier said then done for most people:). Luckily I've never been embarassed by being rejected, I always make sure the girl likes me before I ask her out.

[Spooky05]

Eh...what can I say? It's endeering...



what exactly is endearing? please tell me so that i can use it to my advantage.

[Stardust]

I say overcome shyness and just deal with the consequences.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :eek: :eek: :eek:

it's like walking into a deathtrap for me. oh my gosh, i'd rather go out into the field patrolling two teams without knowing what i'm walking into, getting shot at (we use "duckies", which are M16s that don't shoot), and having to practice a Battle Drill that i didn't study for.

i get extremely shy around people i don't know or people i don't know very well, which really sucks because i especially clam up when i'm around this guy i like, whom i've become friends with recently. i try not to stress out thinking whether he likes me or not, because it's just pointless. eventually something will have to happen and i'd rather tell a friend to let him know how i feel rather than me tell him myself. it's just too nerve wracking for me.

i tell myself i have to overcome this problem, but i just think too much about situations. what happens, what might happen, what DID happen...it's way too torturous. >.<

[Chris Sanders MSX]

what exactly is endearing? please tell me so that i can use it to my advantage.

Shyness.. He was taking a line from Andy Richter Controls The Universe.. This isn't what you want however because you want to over come your shyness..