Hooway for the 4th of July!

[Jon Cooke]

Hope everybody has a Happy 4th of July. Remember, keep it safe and sane. Keep those fireworks out of the hands of cats, mice, ants, and mischievous nephews.

Also, there is no 2pm Acme Hour today because of an Ed, Edd, and Eddy marathon. There will be a 1am show.


-Jon

[Thad Komorowski]

Don't forget crazy woodpeckers and ducks too...:p

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

-Thad:D

[Matt Yorston]

Also, don't go mistaking firecrackers for gardening flowers like Mr. Magoo did once....

[Patrick McCart]

Yay! Everyone have a great 4th!

Remember: Don't mistake a roman candle for a cigar.

[Brandon Pierce]

Don't sit too close to a firework about to explode. If it it explodes in your face the smoke will leave you looking like Al Jolson.

[billyjoelfan]

in the words of elmer fudd

horway for da wed wite and blew


billy joel have a safe and happy 4th and we'll see you tonight on tv fan

[lislebartman]

HAPPY JULY 4TH EVERYONE!!!

Unfortunately, I must work this evening from 4-10 at the video store I co-own! I do plan to bring many of my videos to keep me company! It is very warm here in the Chicago area today, so I don't expect many people to be inside ontheir butts watching the idiot box today!

Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!!!!:D

[Jack]

HAPPY 4TH of JULY!

Be careful so that you still have hands to type with tomorrow!



Jack:D

[BillC]

in the words of Homer Simpson !


"What could possibly go wrong when you have BEER and Fire Works!" :D

[Matthew Hunter]

Fireworks? Ha! We USED to be able to shoot those off here, but that was still only firecrackers, smokebombs and candles. Now, there's a $2,000 fine! No fireworks of any kind are allowed in the city limits. The only way you can do them privately now is if you go out to your ranch in the country, but we don't have one, and more and more places like that are becoming part of the city limits, so now you have to basicly settle for the professional city fireworks display. I have read that this new law is due to idiots being irresponsible and starting fires, but it's the same old thing, a few people screw up and so they punish everyone else. They don't care if you wet the ground and have a hose or bucket handy, either. Now, I can see why they made that law, especially as dry as it is here in the summer, but it's still kind of stupid. Happyheathen, you bill yourself as 'resident cynic"...what do you or any other professional cynics think of this subject?
-Matthew

[happyheathen]

Originally posted by Matthew Hunter
Now, I can see why they made that law, especially as dry as it is here in the summer, but it's still kind of stupid. Happyheathen, you bill yourself as 'resident cynic"...what do you or any other professional cynics think of this subject?
-Matthew

This is censorship, but with a purpose...

Basically, there is no limit to how stupid people can be, so, as a society, do we:

A. Let them be stupid with dangerous toys, and accept that there will be casualities (I like the term 'Thinning the herd')

B. Deprive them of dangerous toys to prevent casualities (figuring that the longer idiots stay alive, the more children they will make, thereby raising the level of idiocity to the point where no one would WANT to take over the country - Great defensive strategy, no?)

dave

p.s. - let me get this straight - we ARE talking about Texas, Right?
The place where the local crazies go to get assault weapons?
Is it really easier to get an AK-47 than a cherry bomb? LOVE IT!!!!

[Matthew Hunter]

No, it's actually not all that hard to GET a cherry bomb, roman candle, bottle rocket, black cat, smokebomb, etc., it's just illegal to USE it in the city limits. Some people have ranches or vacation homes in the country, so the dozens of highway stands get a lot of business still. About the only thing you can use in the city limits now is a little handheld sparkler that makes pretty colored sparks,whether those are legal or not I couldn't say, but they make no noise, and if used responsibly they are perfectly fire-safe and are not cop attractors or neighbor annoyers, so I suppose they're okay. What annoys me is that most of the grass fires I see or hear about around here are on the highways, and they are usually from some stupid litterbug who throws out his cigar or cigarette butt still lit, apparently too lazy to use the ash tray in the car or put it out first. I'm not a smoker so I can't say why they do that, anybody know the answer to that one? What I personally think they should do is make a 2000 dollar fine for using fireworks unsafely (like in dead dry grass areas, crowded neighborhoods or without using a firebucket or water source just in case), but not for just using them in your own backyard or local park.
-Matthew

[Joe Tully]

Yeah, but it's probably easier to enforce if they make it no fireworks at all.

I can see an argument in court:

Police officer: Half a bucket of water isn't safe enough!
Defendent:Yes it is! It's plenty safe!

And so on.

I really enjoyed my own personal displays in the past (in New Mexico where it's all nice & legal, or at least was when I was there) but there's always going to be some moron who'll mess it up. It wouldn't be so much of a problem if they just blew themselves up with the things, but then fires often start, destroy forests and others' lives.

And if they're that dumb, heathen, they'll probably find a different way to off themselves, no prob.:)

[happyheathen]

Originally posted by Joe Tully
And if they're that dumb, heathen, they'll probably find a different way to off themselves, no prob.:)

How many here have heard of a 'recipe' for nitroglycerin involving the spraying of one liquid onto the surface of another?

If you have/will heard of it:

1. it CAN work
2. Unless you have access to stuff that most of you have never heard of, any attempt will result in VERY 'DIRTY' nitro.
Dirt, in an explosive, acts as little chemical detonators.
Nitro is so unstable (even clean) that Nobel invented dynamite because miners and engineers were blowing themselves up trying to use it.
3. Your concoction will detonate when you try to pour it into some other container (I knew a guy in college who made a real mess of his torso with the crap).

leave high explosives to professionals...

also:

in college, you may come across '200 proof un-denatured alcohol' - that stuff is REAGENT GRADE (look it up) NOT HUMAN-CONSUMPTION GRADE - it is dried with a chemical called benzene -extremely toxic - DON'T MESS!

Oh yes -

a few years ago, a local fellow decided to manufacture M-80's.
the resulting explosion knocked his house off its foundation and set fire to the houses on either side...
(as I said, no limit to human stupidity...)

I just LOVE humans!

d

[DR. BELCH]

Why am I suddenly reminded of the discussion in Fight Club about constructing explosives out of ordinary household objects?
"You can't have anything unless you lose everything."

[Sveven Dvorking]

but shouldn't it be a new thread? The fourth of July is over.

[Joe Tully]

Have you ever read any of the Darwin Awards, heathen? They would probably be right up your alley. They even have an article on a professor who drank methanol. You were right, that wasn't such a good idea.

http://www.darwinawards.com/

They have a book out there too. But you're probably aware of this already, sick little monkey that you are.:)

[happyheathen]

Originally posted by Joe Tully
Have you ever read any of the Darwin Awards, heathen? They would probably be right up your alley. They even have an article on a professor who drank methanol. You were right, that wasn't such a good idea.

http://www.darwinawards.com/

They have a book out there too. But you're probably aware of this already, sick little monkey that you are.:) LOVE IT!!!!