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View Full Version : Belch's Brief Reviews--Feb 16, 2002



DR. BELCH
02-16-2002, 02:29 PM
Pokémon#433: The Stolen Stones!
Ash and company, on their way to Olivine City, meet Ramona and her kid brother, who train Arcanines. It seems these dogs are the size of small horses and can be ridden, if one knows how. Ash attempts it, and performs admirably for a while, until he gets bucked when his dog jumps a small lake.
The two are delivering a bag of sunstones to a competition in the next town--at least until Team Rocket, who appear in an actual rocket ("It's faster than the balloon, but the gas mileage stinks," admits Meowth) this time, appear and swipe the stones.
Now here's where it gets interesting. Team Rocket appears to have learned strategy. They implement a full-scale divide-and-conquer attack. They buy time to escape by means of tricking the Arcanines, running at top speed, to fall into a pit (demonstrating some knowledge of physics). Then the Rockets split up. Brock, Misty, and Ramona chase after James, who--recalling his days with the biker gang--escapes on unicycle, leading them into a second pit. Ash and Ramona's brother chase Jessy, who leads them to a battle field in a clearing. She loses, and seems ready to give up, even returning the stolen stones--Ash, and likely not for the last time in his life, gets suckered in for a pretty face with a sob story--and winds up in another pit, with a bag of dummy rocks. To make matters worse, Jessy de-Pikachus the boy effeciently, then escapes by unicycle (meets back up with Meowth and James. Add to this his companion, whose arm may be broken, and it seems the Rockets have finally won.
The two teams manage to escape from their holes and track down Team Rocket, who are celebrating a early victory with an expensive picnic. James is noticeably worried about the expense, but Jessy assures him once they set the rocks and the rat, they'll ahve more than enough to pay their debts and live comfortably.
However, Team Twerp shows up, makes short work of Team Rocket when they try to escape in their balloon (they breathe fire on it, and it goes up really quickly--what is that thing made of, anyway? Seems it's always burning or ripping or exploding much too easily), and gets back Pikachu. With his companion's arm useless (although he does seem to be lifting his arm pretty well despite his injury) Ash has to ride the big dog, and learns to be one with the Arcanine (complete with a whole ghostly Ash-face superimposed over Arcanine's). Brilliant though the plan was, it couldn't compete with Ash and the sheer brutal effectiveness of forming a mind-meld with a giant man's best friend an an electrifed mouse who doesn't like getting stuck in a cage.
The stones get returned, Brock attempts to ditch the kids and stay on with Ramona (but Misty, perhaps jealous, won't have it!), and the stones get delviered after all.
Standard plotline, but seeing Jessy ride a unicycle is worth tuning in. The great leg strength she gets from that has...well...a variety of applications, I'd imagine. :o

Static Shock#17: Static Shaq
Static is in the middle of mopping up Kangor and Ferret (from "Big Leagues"), along with this new goon who looks like a cross between Ben Grimm and a rhinocerous, when his beeper goes off. Probably realizing, again, why guys like Batman and Superman are single and live alone, he returns home to see what the emergency is about.
It seems Virgil's father--contrivedly, I suppose--knows Shaquille O'Neill from way back when he was a street kid (which must make Mr. Hawkins pretty old) shooting hoops at the center. Shaq's got this little mad-dog PR person who is constantly yapping into her headset, booking him for engagements, and whisking him off to one thing or another. Thankfully she didn't turn out, as I feared when I saw her, to be a Bang Baby--she was obnoxious enough as a normal woman. :rolleyes:
Shaq invites Virgil, Richie, Mr. Hawkins, and Sharon to a small, intimate party (which means a thousand or so people, thanks to that little terrier of a woman). Unfortunately Ferret shows up sniffing around. It seems he had gotten Static's scent earlier off a rag he'd left, and is being used as a bloodhound. After making a less-than-inconspicuous nuisance of himself sniffing all the partygoers, he identifies Virgil as Static. (This is why Bruce Wayne never dates a woman who owns a dog.) While Virgil distracts the nosey mutant by throwing food in his face, Kangor and the big goon come barelling in from the kitchen and trash the hotel ballroom. The crowd is evacuated. Ferret is arrested, but his buddies--who had escaped--break him out of a prison transport truck. Meantime, Virgil tries to get some alone time with Shaq, and they arrange to shoot hoops the next morning, if Shaq has time.
The next day Virgil and Shaq discuss double lives while shooting hoops at the old rec center (Virgil thinks it ideal, being abandoned, but the public still doesn't leave the big guy alone). It seems being a famous basketball star isn't that different from being a hero--everyone wants a piece of you and you risk losing yourself. Of course, seldom on the court does Shaq have to stare down a pack of uglies like Ferret and his associates (well, maybe Rodman). Speaking of which, the three mutie stooges show up just then, and force Shaq and Virgil to retreat into the building.
Shaq demands to know what's going on and why he's being chased by those freaks, and Virgil very indirectly explains that he too nows how it feels to be two people--the closest he's come to revealing his secret. Shaq, seeming to understand, distracts the goons while Virgil disappears and "Static" shows up. Together they slam-dunk the muties.
Basically Shaq's acting has gone from wooden to merely sedate. He delivers all his lines in the same bored-sounding monotone, and when the script calls for emotion, he sounds like he's got something caught in his throat when he tries to raise his voice. Though I did like the bit about stepping outside oneself when put under pressure--that may have been his most heartfelt line. Though since Steel it's a bit hard to take him seriously as a superhero, even though the media jackals made it sound like he took out the mutants at the party singlehanded and his agent books him on a schedule that'd tax even Superman's prowess.
I notice Shaq was animated rather lighter than he really is...and with a beard, no less. Plus he seems on the chunky side. "I'm just your average seven-foot guy."

Leaping Larry Jojo
02-16-2002, 02:33 PM
I would have laughed if they made Virgil and Shaq have a free-throw shooting contest. Uh, did they do that? I walked out of the room for a bit...

DR. BELCH
02-16-2002, 03:08 PM
Jackie Chan Adventures#212: Demon World, Part 1
In this episode we finaly see Jade's parents...and it's odd to note that though Asian culture is big on family, no one seems to know just how Uncle is related to them. "He's our cousin...I think." The way I see it, Uncle would have to have at least two siblings, which then each had sons--Jackie one, his cousin the other. Jackie, like his uncle, never married; his cousin did, and Jade was born, making the old man her great-uncle. Note also her mother doesn't have an accent--which makes me wonder if her father married an American or European woman, which'd explain Jade speaking English so well.
Anyway, Chandu, desperate to avoid torture (even discorporeal he feels pain), proposes something that even demons consider taboo--The Book of Ages. Odd he'd never considered it before--or maybe did, but wanted to exhaust all other venues, because to invoke the Book probably carries a big price. He requests permission to enter our world again, and upon doing so seeks Jackie.
The possessed Jackie, after making a scene, leaves and is later found to be headed for Australia, where The Book is stored. The Chans follow Chandu and find him inside some hidden temple, writing in The Book. There's a fight, but it's too late; Chandu has effectively altered history. His kind rule the world, he is virtually a god, the Dark Hand entertains him at court, and the Chans are reduced to keeping his library, sweeping up the dung of the dragons that pull his chariot, and trimming his toenails.
Jade realizes that she is immune to the spell because before the world changed she tore her own page from the book. As a living example of the Finney Theorum, the only other one being Chandu himself, she is able to enlist her uncles' help to end Chandu's rule. They defeat his Shadowkhan warriors--thanks to Uncle using forbidden magic ("I don't read the books, I just skim them.") and sneak into the old monster's bedchamber.
They magically reach into Chandu's guts and start to take his talismans, but the huge demon rolls over and awakens enraged, blowing flaming breath on Jackie. Fade to black.
DYN that Jade had secured the rooster talisman before Chandu woke up?
I wonder where Capt. Black is in Chandu's New World Order?

X-Men: Evolution#27: Retreat
The episode opens with Beast as a fugitive, on a rampage, trying to avoid the cops. He accidentally manages to cause some property damage to the school when he loses his temper. The writers seem to be handling him still as a savage, despite his intelligence--he roars, he walks hunkered down, and even swings from trees.
Xavier suggests, if he wishes to get out of the mansion and be free, he should head into the redwood forests. I'm presuming they're in or near Canada. Hank thinks it a wonderful dea and--with a little intimidation on his part, as he towers over most of the kids--takes Kitty, Evan, Bobby, and several other minor mutants along. Unfortunately he winds up being mistaken for the missing link and captured, then nearly drowns when a freak storm washes the road out and floods the area. Eventually he comes to terms with his beastial nature and that he can only be what he was meant to be--even if it means eating bananas, throwing his feces about, and swinging thirty-foot gaps between branches. :p
Some wonderful digital animation in this episode--watch the water in various shots of the river, or the pan of the forest as Hank looks around when he hears a noise. Still, the sight of Beast behaving like some sort of big ape is jarring. He seems to realize it, too--he hates feeling like he's letting his animal side take over.
A couple of good plot elements that were dropped as well--first of all, I thought the scientist in the group that captured Hank (and behavesd rather condescendingly to him--"Human! Me hyoo-man!") would be an old colleague of his, the way he stared into his face as if he recognized it. Secondly, what about the perfectionist mutant? I thought they were leading up to something with his anal nature being what saved the day, but I guess not.
High point was the Sasquatch conspiracy nuts' outrageous theories on Beast--his diet, his wearing of clothes, etc. Note the mention of "Mulder" and the familiar warbling instrumental music....
How did that flaming kid stay lit underwater, and not burn Hank when he touched him while rescuing him from the electrified cage?Presumably an homage to fellow Marvel character Johnny "the Human Torch" Storm....
Bobby exhibits some thought and control of his talents with the ice-dam...and Dog-Girl really scared the hunters with her little werewolf act. Seems she also has a canine's highly-developed sense of smell; I just hopes she's housebroken and doesn't eat garbage/drink from the toilet. Her voice sounded eerily familiar, though.... :confused:

DR. BELCH
02-16-2002, 03:12 PM
Leaping Larry Jojo :
I would have laughed if they made Virgil and Shaq have a free-throw shooting contest. Uh, did they do that?
Briefly. Virgil took a shot that was a rimmer, then used his powers to drop it through the hoop. Shaq's all, "Let's start playing for real now. ""I thought we WERE playing." The Bang Babies showed up about then, so I guess we were spared watching Virg shamelessly grandstand and kick Shaq's butt....

Anthonynotes
02-16-2002, 11:18 PM
Saw JCA as well (for the first time in awhile), while killing time waiting for my new computer monitor to be delivered:

>>>
Anyway, Chandu, desperate to avoid torture (even discorporeal he feels pain), proposes something that even demons consider taboo--The Book of Ages. Odd he'd never considered it before--or maybe did, but wanted to exhaust all other venues, because to invoke the Book probably carries a big price. He requests permission to enter our world again, and upon doing so seeks Jackie.
The possessed Jackie, after making a scene, leaves and is later found to be headed for Australia, where The Book is stored. The Chans follow Chandu and find him inside some hidden temple, writing in The Book. There's a fight, but it's too late; Chandu has effectively altered history. His kind rule the world, he is virtually a god, the Dark Hand entertains him at court, and the Chans are reduced to keeping his library, sweeping up the dung of the dragons that pull his chariot, and trimming his toenails.
<<<

I dunno about "heavy price"---looked like he just waltzed right into that chamber where the book was without much effort. Thus, making me wonder why he didn't do it before (presuming the "danger" lies in mucking around with the space-time continuum on that grand scale a measure)...

CHANDU: The *reason* I didn't do it before and went through all the trouble of dealing with Chan, hiring Valmont and those imbecile goons, and so forth, was....those imbecile writers. Apparently that book-rewrite-history...*thing*...was the best they could come up with one hour before deadline as a plot device to start a *two-part* episode, of all things....*lazy layabouts*... (puffs flame).

:-)

>>>
Jade realizes that she is immune to the spell because before the world changed she tore her own page from the book. As a living example of the Finney Theorum, the only other one being Chandu himself, she is able to enlist her uncles' help to end Chandu's rule. They defeat his Shadowkhan warriors--thanks to Uncle using forbidden magic ("I don't read the books, I just skim them.") and sneak into the old monster's bedchamber.
They magically reach into Chandu's guts and start to take his talismans, but the huge demon rolls over and awakens enraged, blowing flaming breath on Jackie. Fade to black.
DYN that Jade had secured the rooster talisman before Chandu woke up?
I wonder where Capt. Black is in Chandu's New World Order?
<<<

Presumably wherever Tohru is....wherever *he* is... though I guess we'll find out in next week's episode....

>>
X-Men: Evolution#27: Retreat
The episode opens with Beast as a fugitive, on a rampage, trying to avoid the cops. He accidentally manages to cause some property damage to the school when he loses his temper. The writers seem to be handling him still as a savage, despite his intelligence--he roars, he walks hunkered down, and even swings from trees.
Xavier suggests, if he wishes to get out of the mansion and be free, he should head into the redwood forests. I'm presuming they're in or near Canada. <<<

Traditionally in the comics, Xavier's school was located somewhere in New England, in driving distance/close proximity to New York City (the epicenter of the Marvel Universe :-)

-B.

Sharklady
02-17-2002, 12:04 PM
> ...he should head into the redwood forests. I'm presuming they're in or near Canada. <<<

Traditionally in the comics, Xavier's school was located somewhere in New England... <

Problem: the portion of Canada that's adjacent to New England has no redwood forests whatsoever. There's only two places on earth where redwoods occur naturally; the Pacific coasts of North America and China (P.S. the Chinese ones don't get nearly so big.)

DR. BELCH
02-17-2002, 08:10 PM
(1) Noting Hok Fu is one of Chandu's jesters, it's evident in this alternate world he was replaced too as part of The Dark Hand. So he's either (a) dead in this world (not likely for KWB) (b) a menial laborer in another part of the demon kingdom or (c) also somehow found a way to live "outside" Chandu Time.

(2) The "consequences" have got to come into play later. I mean, if The Book is so supposedly untouchable that even demons tremble at the mention of its name, why bother expending the effort of putting otherwordly minions on the divine payroll to guard it? It seems Chandu is either too brave or too ignorant to succumb to the psychological mindgames of Powers That Be....

(3) I suppose if they can travel all the way to Asteroid M in space, a cross-county junket from New England to California isn't such a big deal. Xavier's casual tone in suggesting a "field trip" makes it sound like a one- or two-hour bus ride at best.

alan
02-19-2002, 10:28 AM
I'd like to thank you DR. Belch for properly naming Kangor this time around. Also he, Ferret and Hyde are all members of a group called the Rough pack. And thanks for your fair non-baised reviews that you always give.



"Resign yourself to your meaty fate!"- Zim

"Attempted murder now honestly what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry, do they?"- Sideshow Bob

"This time we're gonna track him down, and then we'll have superhero for supper"- Hyde

"Why don't you go bug the kids on 'Goof Troop'?"- Dot Warner.

DR. BELCH
02-19-2002, 04:51 PM
Although I'll admit to slight bias in favor of Fox's X-Men series...some characters are hit-or-miss (Forge is probably the worst-adapted, but as I said before I'm slowly getting used to Logan's Texas accent or the apelike Beast or Rogue's gothiness), and the scripts still need work...but I try.

As for Kangor and Hyde (or "Hide", noting his leathery appearance) --those two I'm not sure about. On one hand, using Ferret to sniff out Static showed some thinking, but in the next minute, instead of cutting their losses and escaping out the back way, they barge into the ballroom and behave like total idiots. It seems mutation doesn't do much to raise a Bang Baby's I.Q. In addition to the new music, I noted Rubber Band Man is replaced by Kangor, and there's footage of Puff, so they both may be semiregulars this season. Hopefully the K-Man'll smarten up before he meets Stat a third time.... :rolleyes: