Zach
03-15-2007, 12:18 PM
I've been working on a short story, and I have a small bit of it finished. I'll post it here and see if you guys have any suggestions or comments. Thanks.
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The crowd let out a thunderous roar as Steven “Crusher” Owens, the star hitter and left fielder for the Carson City Yetis, smashed a fastball over the right field fence.
“What a hit! Add yet another homer to Crusher’s record, folks! With 28 homers, 61 RBIs, and a .279 batting average, he’s already having an astounding year!” exclaimed an announcer as Crusher rounded the bases.
It was the middle of June at Harrier Field, and the bright, blue sky, low winds, and comfortable temperature had yielded a perfect day for baseball. The Yetis were facing off against the Starlancers, their dreaded cross-town rivals in the last game of the series. Both teams had claimed a victory and fans on both sides were anxious to see the series resolved.
Bobby Nelson, a young office worker and lifelong Yetis fan, was enjoying a ballpark Frank as he watched the game from the outfield seats. Like other fans, Crusher was his favorite player.
“Yeah! Crusher!” he yelled after a bite of his hotdog. A baseball game on Saturday was one of his favorite ways to escape stress from work.
“Crusher isn’t anything special. Without him, the Yetis would be worthless,” responded a disgruntled Starlancers fan as another Yetis hitter went to bat.
“Not only is Crusher something special, the rest of the Yetis can hold their own against any other team in the nation,” Bobby countered. “They wouldn’t be able to win games unless the defense
wasn’t performing.”
The hitter on the field struck out, and the Starlancers ran off the field to play offence. The Yeti defense ran out to take the field.
“Now batting, Eric Billington,” said the announcer.
“Billington is a second-rate hitter. He’ll strike or fly out,” said Tim Cain, Bobby’s close friend, who was sitting next to him.
“He’s every bit as good as Crusher!” blurted the Starlancers fan.
“Really? I’ve failed to notice anything remarkable about his playing,” Tim countered with a smirk.
“Strike one!” barked the umpire down on the field as Billington swung wildly at the ball. Bobby let out a small grin as he took another clumsy swing at the ball.
“That’s strike two.”
The fan grunted at Tim’s comment. Billington took one final swing as the pitcher threw a mighty curveball inside to the right.
“Strike three! You’re out!” came the umpire’s call.
The fan let out a snarl and spat a sunflower seed into a Styrofoam cup as Billington ran back to the dugout.
“How about those apples?” Bobby asked, obviously amused. “Billington sucks.”
“Shut you mouth! You just lucked out!” the fan shot back.
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The crowd let out a thunderous roar as Steven “Crusher” Owens, the star hitter and left fielder for the Carson City Yetis, smashed a fastball over the right field fence.
“What a hit! Add yet another homer to Crusher’s record, folks! With 28 homers, 61 RBIs, and a .279 batting average, he’s already having an astounding year!” exclaimed an announcer as Crusher rounded the bases.
It was the middle of June at Harrier Field, and the bright, blue sky, low winds, and comfortable temperature had yielded a perfect day for baseball. The Yetis were facing off against the Starlancers, their dreaded cross-town rivals in the last game of the series. Both teams had claimed a victory and fans on both sides were anxious to see the series resolved.
Bobby Nelson, a young office worker and lifelong Yetis fan, was enjoying a ballpark Frank as he watched the game from the outfield seats. Like other fans, Crusher was his favorite player.
“Yeah! Crusher!” he yelled after a bite of his hotdog. A baseball game on Saturday was one of his favorite ways to escape stress from work.
“Crusher isn’t anything special. Without him, the Yetis would be worthless,” responded a disgruntled Starlancers fan as another Yetis hitter went to bat.
“Not only is Crusher something special, the rest of the Yetis can hold their own against any other team in the nation,” Bobby countered. “They wouldn’t be able to win games unless the defense
wasn’t performing.”
The hitter on the field struck out, and the Starlancers ran off the field to play offence. The Yeti defense ran out to take the field.
“Now batting, Eric Billington,” said the announcer.
“Billington is a second-rate hitter. He’ll strike or fly out,” said Tim Cain, Bobby’s close friend, who was sitting next to him.
“He’s every bit as good as Crusher!” blurted the Starlancers fan.
“Really? I’ve failed to notice anything remarkable about his playing,” Tim countered with a smirk.
“Strike one!” barked the umpire down on the field as Billington swung wildly at the ball. Bobby let out a small grin as he took another clumsy swing at the ball.
“That’s strike two.”
The fan grunted at Tim’s comment. Billington took one final swing as the pitcher threw a mighty curveball inside to the right.
“Strike three! You’re out!” came the umpire’s call.
The fan let out a snarl and spat a sunflower seed into a Styrofoam cup as Billington ran back to the dugout.
“How about those apples?” Bobby asked, obviously amused. “Billington sucks.”
“Shut you mouth! You just lucked out!” the fan shot back.
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