Video game physics

[Wussycat]

We've all seen these lists about the rules of cartoon physics. Let's try to make one for video game physics.


1. If you're controling an amphibian, you will drown if you fall into the water.

2. Your character can eat loads of junk food in a row without gaining weight.

3. Junk food replenishes your health.

[SomewhatDamaged]

- Even if you can take hits from missiles, lazers, and many other weapons
and live, spikes will still kill you in one hit.

- Nothing can escape the bottomless pit. Nothing.

- The enemy will always wait for you to finish you turn before they attack.
Aren't they so polite?

- Shooting a barrel will cause it to explode.

- As long as you have 1 ring, You can never die.

- Picking up and eatting food off the ground is good for you.

All of these are pretty common knowledge, but yeah.

[Anyone00]

1. If you're controling an amphibian, you will drown if you fall into the water.

And yet there is an entire underwater level.

1. An average Marine can run at ~90mph while literal lugging a ton of weapons and ammunition

2. Pockets tend to be 5th dimensional

3. Buildings tend to be 5th dimensional

4. Supply chains? Troop transport? We just make equipment and men in the field from what we scavenge in the field.

5. Enemies will patiently wait for you.

6. Self-preservation instinct? What's that?

7. Men are virtually always buff ,and women attractive and future back pain suffers.

8. There's no such thing as a weapon so large it makes it impractical.

9. Your character should probably piss red and blue at this point.

10. Two words: Rocket Jump

11. Dead enemies tend to vibrate when you open a door on them.

12. Lightning is easy to control.

[Vermunium]

- Even though it's just you. You end up facing an infinite amount of Badguys, all of which fall at your One man army might.

[Mog]

-You will always be able to find what you need for a firefight just before said firefight occurs. This includes ammo, health, and weaponry.

-Everything has a weak point that provides massive damage. Usually when the enemy is on its back.

-You're a mute. And yet everyone seems to want to have a conversation with you when you stand next to them.

[V Man C]

....

The double jump.

[Psycho Fox]

Enemies carry coins and powerups that are easy to pick up even if you are in plane or space ship.

[mammy2shoesfan]

Your brother will always be your twin until cartoons and better graphics.

[Juu-kuchi]

Sometimes just because buildings exist, that doesn't necessarily mean that you can just... go in. In fact they don't even let you go in. If others do, they have a phasing power that lets them do so.

[mookie75]

Even though you have a total of ten fingers, you can only equip rings on two of them at the most.

[tucsoncoyote]

No Matter how hard you try, You just can't evade the cops or the spike Strips (unless you have Turbo-boost).

if you forget to put a ladder (or means of an (Exit) from a room or pool your character will die of Starvation / Exhaustion and will possibly drown.

if you touch wheels with an opposing car you will become totally airborne, flipping numerous times end over end, and then come crashing to the earth and yet you amazingly walk away from the cockpit of your vehicle virtually unscathed.

If you hit a stick of some sort of Explosive, such as C4 or Dynamite, a chain reaction will occur, killing you and everyone around you. This also applies if you fire Wildly into large Fuel tanks or Rockets that are full of Propellant.

All enemies will try to take you out at all costs firing weapons that do very little damage. Conversely one well place shot by your most Powerful weapon will obliterate every last enemy


Firing upon a Nuclear reactor with a Hellfire missile will detonate the nuclear plant in an explosion similar to Hiroshima.

:coyote:

P.s. If you want to know where these are from. these are from Old games I have.

[Dudley]

Objects and landscapes, no matter what size, will appear and dissapear almost instantly depending your distance away from them.

[mammy2shoesfan]

If I beat you up and knock you out your body will disappear.

If I throw a spear at your chest you will sweat instead of bleed. (Burn)

[Wussycat]

Birds, dogs and other animals will attack you without provocation.

[mammy2shoesfan]

Coins are stored in bricks that bonce when I hit them when I'm regular or small me and break when I am super or big.

[Arsenal]

Nothing stops Bo Jackson.

[Dudley]

Unless you have something to protect you, you die instantly upon contact of an enemy.

In a fighting game, no matter how low your HP bar is, you'll never show signs of being tired.

[Chad Bonin]

It's average to jump 2-3 times your own height.

When facing off with your group of heroes versus enemies that appeared out of nowhere, the enemies will allow you to attack and use items.

When you throw a rose at "gutter trash", you're good for 1 hit of damage.

[Wussycat]

You can survive multiple gun shots. First aid kits can be found in unusual places. A dog can control a town of undead creatures. Corporations make zombie viruses for no reason.

[Wussycat]

If you want to eat something, you don't have to make the effort of peeling, chewing, etc. You just touch it and it's immediately digested.

[Bubblegum Girl]

~ In some cases you can breath underwater

~ You can be killed by almost anything that moves

~ If you run fast enough while wearing a racoon costume or a cape, you can fly.

~ Medicine bottles can open doors into another dimension

[mammy2shoesfan]

A pipe or vine can take you where ever you need to go.
Also hammers can fly out of your head.

[Captain Highwind]

You can repeat the same word or phrase, over and over, and no one will think you're irritating. (In-game, anyway)

[dendawg]

If you're falling from a great height, you can avoid taking damage by doing a ground-pound just before you hit.

[Alex Toon]

1. If you're controling an amphibian, you will drown if you fall into the water.

That's why the first TMNT game on the NES was crap.
And the bigger joke? There was a swimming level!

[unknown hero]

- Hedgehogs are faster than cheetahs

- Teleportation

- Infinite Ammunition

[H Guggs]

No matter how large an item is, it still fits in your pocket.

Giant monsters are normal.

People just let you walk into their houses.

No matter how hard you try, you can't kill your allies, and if you do, no one cares.

[mammy2shoesfan]

Turtles "cough Koopas cough" have evolved to to the point where to step on them they fly out of their shells where in the past they used to stay in their shells.
While Gombas used to get flat when you step on them now the just get fliped turned upsidedown and you can carry and throw them around.

[RAINMAN]

You can be a out of shape plumber and still have great speed and agilty.

[mammy2shoesfan]

A whip can be used to save the world.

[StarScream64]

You can find your way out of any world/room by getting from the left side of the room to the right side.
If you stand on clouds too long, they will eventualy dissapear.
If at first you don't succeed, die, die again.
Bosses tend to be kind enough to let you know their weak point by making it flash brightly. If all else fails, just go for the eyes.
Whenever you're feeling weak, drinking brightly-color liquids will make it all better. Mmmm, Windex...
Money can be found in trees...

[Kaoru]

You can't kill certain bosses before the point where their death is scripted even if you fire infinite RPGs in their eyes.

If you take 1 second more then time designated the mission fails.

After failing a mission even if who gave it to you dies you just go back to his/her house and start again.

You can't do things the easy way, only the only way scripted.

If you shoot in the side windows of a vehicle only the vehicle takes damage but if you shoot through windshield you kill the driver.

You need to buy/find a whole new weapon to restock your existing weapon (in most games).

You can only answer positively or negatively, can't chose your side.

If you shoot a cash register it will open.

A tv that's shot won't blow.

You can't cause damage to vehicles by hand from outside (in most games).

When you die you wake up outside the nearest hospital on your feet.

Same when you get arrested with a police station.

You can only break through one wall at one time with a certain vehicle/weapon, and there's no animation.

Doesn't matter how good you are or how many people you kill, everybody treats you the same way.

If you crash up 100 vehicles you're still the main getaway driver.

If you need any taxi and you just get another taxi after getting into the first one the mission fails.

Even if you finished the mission it will still fail if you die on the way to pick up the prize from your boss.

NPCs commit crimes (by accident) like running over people, including the police, but only you ever get chased by the police.

When you repaint your car which lasts one second it will magically be brand-spanking new even if it was a flaming inferno wreack, also that makes everyone forget about you even if you're chased by the FBI who were just outside.

A grenade that you're standing on will kill everyone in the fascinity but only take about 30 of your life-points.

All vehicles including tanks are unlocked, filled up with gas, unguarded and with the key in the ignition.

Flags, powerlines and similar objects are non-solid although their masts and polls are. Bushes are also unsolid.

You never have to do anything. You chose whether you want to keep fighting while days go by or do you want to grab a pizza.

Blowing up things and generally causing havock generates your pocket money.

[Captain Highwind]

A whip can be used to save the world.

A whip can be used in court.