Zorakfan
01-21-2002, 03:26 PM
Get ready for mush hour!
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/125/003_SNOWDOGS_DOUBLESIDED.jpg
"You know, I've always believed that a man who don't tell it like it is, is a liar." - Thunder Jack Johnson
Release Date: January 18, 2002
Studio: Walt Disney Pictures
Director: Brian Levant
Starring: Cuba Gooding Jr., James Coburn, Randy Birch, Joanna Bacalso, Nichelle Nichols, M. Emmet Walsh, Shaw Madson
Plot Summary: When Miami dentist Ted Brooks (Gooding, Jr.) finds out that he's been named in a will, he travels to Alaska to claim his inheritance. Once he gets there, however, his dreams turns to mush: he discovers he's been left a team of sled dogs - Diesel, Scooper, Nana, Yodel, Sniff, Mack, Duchess, and Demon - who have got it in for him. Making matters even worse is the crusty mountain man Thunder Jack (Coburn), who's also got it in for the city slicker. Wanting to claim the dogs for himself, Jack urges Ted to hotfoot it back to warmer climates. As Ted's life goes to the dogs, he vows to learn to mush, no matter what it takes.
Buy the movie! (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00005JKVU/toonzone03/)
Comments?
Edited by The Penguin (http://forums.toonzone.net/showthread.php?goto=postid&postid=784835)
There are 2 kinds of people in this world.
1. People who have seen snow dogs
2. People who have not seen snow dogs
People in the second group are generally happier and less likely to go on a rampage against society than the first. Snow Dogs has got to be the most insulting piece of 'entertainment' I've seen since I got dragged to 2 other movies: Snow day and Mr. Keebler's big move (Something like that. A movie about the keebler elves would have been 25 times more entertaining than this piece of trash) The movie is about a black dentist living in Miami, (Cuba Gooding Jr.) who inherits a team of snow dogs in Alaska from his never-met birthmother, who happens to be Uhura from star trek fame. So, on a whim, he goes to Alaska to collect his canines. Now problems appear. There's a poodle who lives across the street from him who barks a lot. There's a grizzled dog driver who doesn't take kindly to Cuba's antics. (Colburn, who actually plays the role well. You look at him and say 'Daaaaaaaamn, He's grizzled!') Of course, the Dogs reject him as a master and make his life a living hell. (As much as hell can be dipicted in a modern disney film) The next hour is all a blur. It consists of one scene of talking dogs, dogs looking cute and behaving in a manner that would get most dogs euthanized, and all the time inbetween spent with Cuba being dragged across beautiful Alaska making facial expressions that insinuate that he's in a comprimising postition with Marlon Brando. Wait, that would be insulting Brando. More like he's in a comprimising position with a 70 year-old Oprah. If that isn't demeaning enough to you, Sisquo's in it. Yes, that's right, Thong man. The only thing that could make this worse is a giant talking Mike Bolton head. Disney delivers. So in summary, all I've learned is that the industry is open to a Keebler elf movie, which I am currently in the process of composing. Of course, like every disney movie, at the end all the characters forget their differences and come together and eat pink pony fecal matter, etc. Hurray for Disney. I don't know how Snow White 2 will follow this.
Ok, that's my review. Don't flame me, that's just my opinion, and I'm exaggerating. A little. The scenery is quite beautiful...but the rest of the movie sucks. On a scale of 1 -10, I give it an F.
Now here's fun stuff you CAN do while watching Snow dogs:
1. Leave Theater
2. Go to 'Fellowship of the Ring' showing.
3. Shimmy down an isle in the theater.
4. Grab someone by feet, pull down, gag person's mouth.
5. Whisper: "I have the ring....They're after me! Shhhh....'
6. Say: "I figured it out...you've been using the alias Underhill all along!"
7. When usher takes notice of you, scream "RING WRAITH!" and proceed to try to snap off a finger.
8. Run at full tilt away from theater, yelling "I'll get you underhill!"
9. Proceed to change license plate and grow a beard.
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/125/003_SNOWDOGS_DOUBLESIDED.jpg
"You know, I've always believed that a man who don't tell it like it is, is a liar." - Thunder Jack Johnson
Release Date: January 18, 2002
Studio: Walt Disney Pictures
Director: Brian Levant
Starring: Cuba Gooding Jr., James Coburn, Randy Birch, Joanna Bacalso, Nichelle Nichols, M. Emmet Walsh, Shaw Madson
Plot Summary: When Miami dentist Ted Brooks (Gooding, Jr.) finds out that he's been named in a will, he travels to Alaska to claim his inheritance. Once he gets there, however, his dreams turns to mush: he discovers he's been left a team of sled dogs - Diesel, Scooper, Nana, Yodel, Sniff, Mack, Duchess, and Demon - who have got it in for him. Making matters even worse is the crusty mountain man Thunder Jack (Coburn), who's also got it in for the city slicker. Wanting to claim the dogs for himself, Jack urges Ted to hotfoot it back to warmer climates. As Ted's life goes to the dogs, he vows to learn to mush, no matter what it takes.
Buy the movie! (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00005JKVU/toonzone03/)
Comments?
Edited by The Penguin (http://forums.toonzone.net/showthread.php?goto=postid&postid=784835)
There are 2 kinds of people in this world.
1. People who have seen snow dogs
2. People who have not seen snow dogs
People in the second group are generally happier and less likely to go on a rampage against society than the first. Snow Dogs has got to be the most insulting piece of 'entertainment' I've seen since I got dragged to 2 other movies: Snow day and Mr. Keebler's big move (Something like that. A movie about the keebler elves would have been 25 times more entertaining than this piece of trash) The movie is about a black dentist living in Miami, (Cuba Gooding Jr.) who inherits a team of snow dogs in Alaska from his never-met birthmother, who happens to be Uhura from star trek fame. So, on a whim, he goes to Alaska to collect his canines. Now problems appear. There's a poodle who lives across the street from him who barks a lot. There's a grizzled dog driver who doesn't take kindly to Cuba's antics. (Colburn, who actually plays the role well. You look at him and say 'Daaaaaaaamn, He's grizzled!') Of course, the Dogs reject him as a master and make his life a living hell. (As much as hell can be dipicted in a modern disney film) The next hour is all a blur. It consists of one scene of talking dogs, dogs looking cute and behaving in a manner that would get most dogs euthanized, and all the time inbetween spent with Cuba being dragged across beautiful Alaska making facial expressions that insinuate that he's in a comprimising postition with Marlon Brando. Wait, that would be insulting Brando. More like he's in a comprimising position with a 70 year-old Oprah. If that isn't demeaning enough to you, Sisquo's in it. Yes, that's right, Thong man. The only thing that could make this worse is a giant talking Mike Bolton head. Disney delivers. So in summary, all I've learned is that the industry is open to a Keebler elf movie, which I am currently in the process of composing. Of course, like every disney movie, at the end all the characters forget their differences and come together and eat pink pony fecal matter, etc. Hurray for Disney. I don't know how Snow White 2 will follow this.
Ok, that's my review. Don't flame me, that's just my opinion, and I'm exaggerating. A little. The scenery is quite beautiful...but the rest of the movie sucks. On a scale of 1 -10, I give it an F.
Now here's fun stuff you CAN do while watching Snow dogs:
1. Leave Theater
2. Go to 'Fellowship of the Ring' showing.
3. Shimmy down an isle in the theater.
4. Grab someone by feet, pull down, gag person's mouth.
5. Whisper: "I have the ring....They're after me! Shhhh....'
6. Say: "I figured it out...you've been using the alias Underhill all along!"
7. When usher takes notice of you, scream "RING WRAITH!" and proceed to try to snap off a finger.
8. Run at full tilt away from theater, yelling "I'll get you underhill!"
9. Proceed to change license plate and grow a beard.