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Bubbles
05-13-2006, 05:24 AM
This is my first PPG fan fiction. Sorry my 'english' writing skills arnt so good. So you might find a few writing mistakes. Hope you enjoy it though!



http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/3070/ppg0le.png (http://imageshack.us)

Powerpuff Girls: Terror Unleashed - Part 1


As far as the eye could see a trail of black, grey and darkness was flowing over the town. Destruction was everywhere. Cars overturned, the sounds of ambulances whizzing past the empty abandoned streets. In every corner, in every broken down shop, was the smell of fear, abandonment and emptiness.

In the shadows lurked a man. But he wasn’t filled with hatred, but filled with sadness.
The man wore a smudged and rather torn white lab coat. Small jagged edges in the mans coat revealed he was hurt. The mans sobs grew louder, he was kneeling now. The town was silent at that second. The man looked up saw a near by police car pulling up near him. The man stood up and ran towards it.

Professor Utonium! The policeman shouted relieved.

Officer! Professor Utonium shouted back exhausted. “Did you find them, did you find my girls?”

“I’m sorry Professor we have a whole team searching for them; we just can’t seem to locate them”.

Professor Utonium grew a deep anger within.

Please! Shouted Professor Utonium his face filled with tears. “You have to find them!”

“Professor as we talk my team is searching, that’s all I can do now!” Are you saying you’re giving up? The professor proclaimed.

No were not! The Officer shouted in a hurried voice. “Don’t worry Professor we will find them”

“Then how come they aren’t in my arms”

“Professor you’re stressed, please calm down”.

“How can I not be stressed my children are gone!”

“Please Professor just go home and get some sleep”

“Please I know my girls are hurt, they are all alone and scared”

“Professor we will call you immediately, we have your cell”. Professor Utonium looked down a tear fell down his scarred cheek.

He walked over to his battered car near a now broken pole.

Do you need a lift? The Officer asked.

“No, I have a car” The officer looked down and took a piece of torn cloth from his pocket. Here the officer placed the cloth in the Professors hand. The cloth was dirty and smudged but the Professor could make it out immediately.

Blossom the Professor whispered. “You found her?”

no the officer said now he himself tearing up.

“But were close, please Professor get some sleep”.

I will the Professor said teary eyed.
He opened his car door and sat there silently.

You promise to get some sleep? The officer asked.

I might Professor said back.

Good the officer said and turned around towards his car. Suddenly the officers’ transceiver blinked on. A mans voice could be heard faintly.

“Attention, attention we found something!”

The Professor heard and banged open the car door and ran towards the officer. Professor grabbed the transceiver and replied.

“What did you find, what did you find?!”

“Um who is this”

“This is Professor Utonium, what did you find, did you find my daughters are they ok?”

“Professor we didn’t find them, but were still looking”

“What! Please find them please!” The Professors face was red from crying too much.

“Instead we found a peculiar crystal”

“A crystal!?”
Professor dropped the transceiver and ran towards his car.

Professor Utonium stop, what are you doing? The Officer shouted.

The Professor stopped and turned around. His face was different it looked happy for the first time in 6 hours.

Professor, where are you going, the officer asked.

Officer what is your name? The Professor asked.

“Dan, but…” Dan do you have children?

“Uh…no. but...”

“That’s why Dan, that’s why”

That’s why what? The Officer asked.

“That’s why you will never understand a father’s love”


The professor turned around, climbed back into his car, turned it on and drove off.


PART 2 COMING SOON

Regards Bubbles

SilverKnight
05-13-2006, 11:10 AM
Short part, but your English is pretty good. The mistakes made are minor ones, and a beta reader could fix those easily enough. One thing, though. When two different people speak, you keep them in different paragraphs. Example:


"Hello, Mary!" Tom said.

"Good morning, Tom," Mary replied.It makes for an easier read. Interesting start, though. :)

Bubbles
05-14-2006, 03:52 AM
Thanks for that it helps!

Agent S7
05-15-2006, 07:31 AM
I second SilverKnight's comment about the talking. That's what kept me away from posting at first.

But since I am, let me say this: PpG fics are hardly ever posted on TZ, and your fic is very welcome! It certainly has me interested, with the disappearence and Professor's anger at it. I'd like to know what caused it. The grammar needs work (I'm a grammar freak) but otherwise it's good.

Good luck on Chapter 2! And nice title. Reminds me of those classic superhero stories!

~s7

Bubbles
05-15-2006, 12:32 PM
Thanks Agent S7! Yeah I realized my grammer sucks, but i'm also glad you cant waite for chapter 2. Hope you guys enjoyed it. I'm writing Chapter 2 as we speak.

Cortez2301
05-15-2006, 01:17 PM
Thanks for that it helps!Really good .very enjoyable for a short story.Kudos to you bubbles!

Bubbles
05-16-2006, 12:16 PM
Here is Chapter 2 hope you enjoy it.!

Powerpuff Girls: Terror Unleashed

Chapter 2 - Reborn

http://img275.imageshack.us/img275/6043/ppgc21ks.png (http://imageshack.us)

Sugar, spice and everything nice. Who knew this would create the loves of my life, my daughters, and superheroes to! The Professor was pondering this unique idea. He walked downstairs to the lab. The Professor gently removed a dark secret from his drawer. It was a silver colored box, with a big label that read ‘X’. He pulled open the box ever so slightly to reveal small tiny green crystals, the Professor smiled. The glowing affect of the crystals made him feel relaxed and he fell deep in thought.

That day before I created the Powerpuff Girls I also created ‘X’ Crystals. A unique crystal that either takes life or gives life. What the girls don’t know Chemical X and the X Crystals were the same thing. Each transformed into a dark liquid. I never thought I would use it nor did I ever think the time would ever come. But for the second time in my whole life I have to create my girls again, but each in a unique form. The professor hesitated at the idea. Creating the girls again! I must be going crazy, he thought.

The professor sat there in silence and gave a sigh. He took a damp cloth and patted it over his forehead, it stung. The professor slowly walked up to the girl’s room. He searched and searched for the ingredients he was looking for, but finally found them. Each strings of the girls hair. He gently put the hair in three different containers and walked back to the lab.

The professor repeated the process again. Sugar, spice and everything nice and the unique X Crystals. The Professor dropped the tiny crystals into the mixture. It turned from black to a dark green with a shiny glow. He started mixing it back and forth and then twirls, the mixture was bubbling. Professor gave it one last mighty swirl and finally the mixture increased in size. The mixture gave a eruption and blasted out of the pot, crushing everything in sight. The Professor was blinded and suddenly the light went away. The professor could make out three dark figures floating.

Agent S7
05-16-2006, 01:11 PM
That was nice! Short, but nice! :anime:

Anyway, I find myself wondering about the X-Crystals. Are they a more powerful version of Chemical X? (BTW, you kind of confused me with the explanation of what they were. Do they turn into Chemical X, are they made from it or what?)

Now the new girls--that's going to be awesome! I have a strange feeling that they'll be more powerful than the original girls...but will they have a conscience? :eek:

I really want to find out what happened to Townsville, too! And a question that this story brings up: If these new girls end up being power-hungry...will the original heroes be able to come and stop them? :ack:

~s7

Bubbles
05-17-2006, 09:37 AM
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it and glad to know my efforts arn't useless and someone is reading it.

Ok since you were wondering about the X Crystals.
They are made from the same liquid "Chemical X" but much more powerfull.
That's why the Professor didn't use them when he created "The Powerpuff Girls" cuz it would just have destroyed them. But seeing as he wants these girls to be stronger he gave it a try. But the reason that he's creating the new girls hasn't been explained yet. :ack: