The Extremely Horrifying Britney Spears Movie!!!

[LightAngel]

Okay, I just had the unfortunate opportunity to see the new trailor for the Britney Spears movie on tv. As you anti-Britney fans can guess, it is horrifying beyond all recognition. The plot appears to be childish and poorley acted(like you couldn't figure that out for your self). The whole thing just reaks of sappish cliches that you could only expect with a film like this.



...And I know all those cursed preadolescents out there will flock to see it

[spectre316]

I heard it deals with adult themes, well, some adult themes, so perhaps it'll scare the Britney fans away from her music. Wouldn't it be nice if this movie destroyed her career? I can't wait to see the Behind The Music of her in ten years.

[SonGoku V3]

Originally posted by LightAngel
...And I know all those cursed preadolescents out there will flock to see it

Well, no one(and I mean NO ONE) saw Glitter, and that Nsync movie(yes, there was a movie with some of the guys from Nsync as the stars) did really bad too. SO I expect that this Britney movie will probably be all hype weeks before it's release and nothing more afterwards.

When will most of these singers stop trying to be actors??? :yawn:

[James Harvey]

Glitter grossed around 4.2 million. On The Line (or whatever that N'Sync movie was called) grossed only 4.3 million. I predict Britney Spear's heap of trash movie will gross only 4.4 million - if that. I saw a short commercial for it and I regreted every second of it.

[Bird Boy]

wait a frickin' minute..she has a MOVIE? Why hast thou done this to thee!??!? WHY!??!

*falls down on knees* We can't get new Batman movies, but we can get movies with BRITNEY SPEARS starring!? What the-- *trails off*

-BB

[Captain Caps]

most famously performed by Joan Jett and The Blackhearts. If you go to the fanfic archives on this site, read "A Very Wakko Thanksgiving" to see how Britney Spears gets into trouble with the Warners and Ms. Jett herself.

Sincerely,

John "Captain Caps" Kilduff...

By the way, credit Brainatra for Britney's nickname, which is "The Sleazy One".

[Calhoun07]

When is the DVD available, cuz I know it will be so bad they might as well hold the premier party at Blockbuster!

[James Harvey]

Warning: Some...adult content

Apparently Britney does some rathar adult stuff in this movie (which will be hilarious to watch):

-pole dances
-gets blind drunk
-loses her viginity to an ex-con
-Gets in a fight
-dances to another song in her skimpy undies.

She also has a shower scene too, I believe. I think this movie may be the best comedy of the year...to bad it's a drama...


And why is Kim Catrall (Sex & The City)wasting her talent here at Britney's mother? Ugh!

[spectre316]

Originally posted by Dick Grayson
Warning: Some...adult content

Apparently Britney does some rathar adult stuff in this movie (which will be hilarious to watch):

-pole dances
-gets blind drunk
-loses her viginity to an ex-con
-Gets in a fight
-dances to another song in her skimpy undies.

She also has a shower scene too, I believe. I think this movie may be the best comedy of the year...to bad it's a drama...


And why is Kim Catrall (Sex & The City)wasting her talent here at Britney's mother? Ugh!

YES! Finally, all these twleve year old Britney fans will lose their love of Britney with this movie... greatness. I'm so tired of the crap pop anymore. Hopefully this movie will bomb and Britney will go down with it.

[Chibi Kageboshi]

Mandy Moore is in a new movie as well that comes out this month i believe.

[Calhoun07]

Originally posted by Dick Grayson
Warning: Some...adult content

Apparently Britney does some rathar adult stuff in this movie (which will be hilarious to watch):

-pole dances
-gets blind drunk
-loses her viginity to an ex-con
-Gets in a fight
-dances to another song in her skimpy undies.



Wait, she's already done all of those! So this is based on her life story?

[Failure]

Originally posted by Chibi Kageboshi
Mandy Moore is in a new movie as well that comes out this month i believe.

I saw a commercial for that a couple times, I havent seen anything for Britney's new movie yet. Actually, the movie with Mandy Moore seems ok, a respectable, teen chick flick (I know, I know, it's an oxymoron) or at the least, a passable copy of She's All That. For some reason, I have a feeling that she's prolly a better actor than Britney.

Something tells me in 10 years we're gonna have a Pam & Tommy Lee Redux only starring Britney and someone else.

[James Harvey]

Originally posted by calhoun07


Wait, she's already done all of those! So this is based on her life story?

HA! Supposedly she was very "moved" by the script. (easy joke, I know) As for that Mandy Moore movie, it's based on a best selling book - but still looks like the ordinary teen crud.

[Calhoun07]

By the way, we have that Nsync movie at the video store I work part time at. It's a "hot single," as we call it. "Hot singles" only get one facing on the new release wall and we only get in 2-4 copies of them, and the all pretty much suck. There are a few good art films out there for the more serious movie enthusiast, but they are rare and few and far between. Most of them are Eros movies (soft core porn) or bad B-movies.

[James Harvey]

Wait, wait, wait...that NSync movie is out on vide already? Wasn't it released like a couple months ago? Wow it must have tanked bad if it's already wasting shelf space!

[SilverKnight]

Awww, NO! DEAR GOD, NO! I'M BLIND! SHOOT ME, SHOOT ME NOW! NO! SHOOT HER NOW!

>ahem< Now that I've gotten that out of my system...

What the hell is she thinking?? Glitter bombed for good reason--because it SUCKED. I never even heard of an N'Sync movie, which is just as well, because now I'll have nightmares for the rest of my life. >shudders< But, BRITNEY SPEARS? They are REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel NOW. I pity the people that actually work for the retards that ever thought of this craptastic idea. The poor souls. >shakes head<

[Cyclops]

I have only one thing to say about a Britney Spears movie. May God have mercy on our souls.

[pencilsharp]

Kids, this is why the government wants new sweeping surveillance powers here in the states... to see just how many wackos are lined up to see this movie.
And, yes, Brit fan, that is why there is a five page application and a 3-day waiting period for tix to this film, as well as why the anti-virus and firewall programs on your computer keep screaming at you to get out of there.

P.S. Any resemblance between Brit fan wackos and the much-beloved Wakko Warner is purely coinkydink... :wakko: :wakko: :wakko:

[Calhoun07]

Originally posted by Dick Grayson
Wait, wait, wait...that NSUkc movie is out on vide already? Wasn't it released like a couple months ago? Wow it must have tanked bad if it's already wasting shelf space!

I swear. I can see the cover box in my head now. I know people asked me how it was and I always steer them clear from it. Maybe it's another movie we are thinking about here. I will try to find the title of it. It might have actually had members of Backstreet Boys in the starring roles, come to think of it.

[Overkill of ASE]

Let's hope it follows in the vein of "Glitter" and kills off her career.

[Calhoun07]

You mean to imply that Mariah Carey had something of a career still in tact before Glitter? I thought her breakdown killed her career.

[The Mad Hatter]

Yup, according to EW Sony's now trying to back out of their $90 million contract with Carey.

And I don't know what was worse... Britney trying desperately to be a sex goddess and insisting that she was pristine, or Britney trying pathetically to be a raunch goddess and insisting that she's not a kid. Oy.

[freakboy86]

After learning of this atrocity, I did some research and found a missing chapter from the Book of Revelations:

"And lo the Angel of the Lord broke the 5th seal and I beheld a glittery horse with an artificially endowed rider, and her name was Britney. She spread her blight across the land, bringing pleasure to pre-teen boys and pale, middle-aged men who lived in their mothers basements. Yet in her wake of popularity she brought fear, boils and loosening of the colon to nonbelievers of her great Poppiness, thus frightening the other four riders of the Apocolypse and insuring the end of all that is Good and Right with the world. And those that viewed the celluloid images of her burned out their eyes with hot knitting needles and chewed off their own tongues so as not to involunarily tell others of the horrors that they had witnessed."
- Revelations, Chapter 13, Verse 23


Teee heeee....couldn't resist!

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Originally posted by spectre316


YES! Finally, all these twleve year old Britney fans will lose their love of Britney with this movie... greatness. I'm so tired of the crap pop anymore. Hopefully this movie will bomb and Britney will go down with it.

Well, maybe only the female twelve year old fans of Britney would be turned off. The males? Ehhhhh :bosko:

[Lonestarr]

The film doesn't look like much, I admit it.

And Kim Cattrall is playing Britney's mom. That sounds about right. *grrrrowl*

[Jimmy Kustes]

What is the point of this thread with no pics? :confused:

Anyway Austin Powers original was great, but the second was more of the same. Now the third one has Spears in it! :eek:

[The Game]

Anyway Austin Powers original was great, but the second was more of the same. Now the third one has Spears in it!

Yeah, I hope she doesn't have alot of lines, she just might be able to ruin an Austin Powers movie.

[Jowy Blight]

Anyway Austin Powers original was great, but the second was more of the same. Now the third one has Spears in it!

Great.........she's going to completely destroy a good film. Honestly, first Star Wars, now Austin Powers, what's next? The Backstreet Boys showing up on Spiderman!?

[Jimmy Kustes]

Seth Green was the only one who saved Austin Powers 2 and I don't like Star Wars. But as for Spider-man...


The Backstreet Boys showing up on Spiderman!?

Let maggots burst out of my body before this happens.

Where are the Britney pics, people?

[SonGoku V3]

Actually, I think we're going to see ALOT of popstars in Austin Powers 3. I know Destiny's Child is in it doing.... something, and their lead singer, Beyonce*droolz*, is one of the main characters. I hope this movie doesn't kill her career though, because compared to Britney, she has ALOT of talent.

Then again, compared to Britney, just about EVERYONE has talent. ;)

[Supernovametalstar]

"As for that Mandy Moore movie, it's based on a best selling book - but still looks like the ordinary teen crud."

I heard a movie reviewer (can't recall which one) say that Moore does a better than expected job in the flick, and the movie is not as bad as other teen movies. Besides, us old timers used to like watching teen movies, too. I still remember the first time I saw "The Breakfast Club".........

[The Guard]

Well...

If the part about the con is true...I MIGHT go see it at the dollar theater...nah.

Austin Powers 3...she's just a cameo part. Beyonce plays Austin's love interest, and there are rumors about Destiny's Child, who I hate simply because they remind me of Gemini's Twin from SNL...who are of course a parody of DC.

Anyway...it's possible to make a good Britney Spears movie. Lesse...

Make it a trilogy...and have Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Jerry Bruckheimer do it. Even SHE can't ruin it if they ALL do it...

I think a budget of about 450 million for special effects should do it...

BRITNEY: YEAR ONE

This is a film about Britney appearing on the scene as an 18 year old sex goddess...lots of stupid feel good crap. But it paves the way for...

BRITNEY'S SPHERES

Justin is intro'd, and she gets a boob-job. The rest of it will just be footage from Glitter. No one will know...

BRITNEY SPEARED

Umm...some stuff happens, and Britney sings and loses her virginity. Snicker. Heh. Snicker. Then she saves the world from war and umm...surprises some little kids at their birthday party. End with a big musical number.

[SonGoku V3]

Originally posted by duncanzits
Where are the Britney pics, people?

I will not let this topic get destroyed......ON WITH THE BRITNEY PICS:D

Ooh, I think she's happy (http://www.boomspeed.com/goggleboy85/bspears2.jpg)

uhh.....I think her face is due to the hangover (http://www.boomspeed.com/goggleboy85/rollingstone1.jpg)

Oh yeah, just one pic of Beyonce (http://www.boomspeed.com/goggleboy85/beyonce2.jpg), because life wouldn't be the same for me with out drooling (http://www.boomspeed.com/goggleboy85/seethruBeyonce.jpg) at some sweeeet Beyonce pics :p

[The Dork Knight]

Oh no! "Not Another Teen Movie"! Sorry, bad joke.

- Foley Is Good

[Jedigreedo]

This has got to be one of the worst things I've heard since I heard about Mariah doing a striptease on TRL...besides the NSync movie and all that crap and stuff... Just because they do music videos, doesn't mean they can do MOVIES. It's not like they're really acting in the videos which are usually about 2-4 minutes long.

Why must we suffer like this just so realism can kick in and their so-called "careers" will be finally ended so the REAL musicians may take over?

[Manhunter]

And let us not forget the mother of all sucky pop-star related movies:Cool as Ice.

[Calhoun07]

I want to see Cool as Ice on DVD! Seriously, that movie is so bad it's unintentionally funny.

I would vote for Under the Cherry Moon as the worst pop star movie.

[Elven Moon]

I haven't seen the trailer for the Britney Spears movie yet, but now I can't wait! Hehehe. So, she's in a movie, is she? Well, maybe I'll rent it when it comes out on video, but I'm not forking over $5.25 to see the movie in the theaters. Heck, I don't think I'd pay $0.99 ;)

[Supernovametalstar]

What was that movie Madonna was in back in the 80's? People said the same things then as they are doing now. Nothing ever changes when it comes to celebrity hatred :D

[Maxie Zeus]

Originally posted by Supernovametalstar
What was that movie Madonna was in back in the 80's? People said the same things then as they are doing now. Nothing ever changes when it comes to celebrity hatred :D

"Who's That Girl?", I think.

At least, that is a Madonna movie from the 80s that bombed. :rolleyes:

[Calhoun07]

Madonna was also in Desperately Seeking Susan, but that was actually a good movie, so you can't be thinking of that one!

[James Harvey]

She was also in Evita and Dick Tracy, and did a pretty good job. She recently had a crappy movie, although I can't think of the name. She was also in the hilariously bad "Body of Evidence".

[BWDK]

I just can't see why you all hate Britney Spears. If you hate her so much how come you know almost everything about her?

Britney made some really dumb quotes:

"Where is that Australia anyway?" (live on Australian TV)

"Me and my cousin really get along with each other, our moms are like sisters" :rolleyes:

But here's a good one:

"If you don't like ma, don't watch me."


BTW here's something funny:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/picture/0,,2002010289,00.jpg

Take a look at her legs. How come she has cellulite if she works out at least 2 hours a day (including her 500 sit-ups)

[Stardust]

Originally posted by calhoun07
You mean to imply that Mariah Carey had something of a career still in tact before Glitter? I thought her breakdown killed her career.

i saw People magazine voted her as one of the most intriguing people of the year or whatever because they felt she was strong when Glitter flopped big time in theatres and she bounced back after her stress breakdown or whatever she had.

[Captain Caps]

"If you don't like me, don't watch me."

1.) Well, that's kind of impossible when she appears to be on EVERY CHANNEL! :p

2.) We watch Britney like we watch car crashes and convalescent people...because we like to be scared/horrified, and being scared and horrified makes for great entertainment. We watch to poke fun at her. We watch because she is a media hound, who'll sniff at the butts of every news outlet to say "Look at me, and my latest trick...er, tricks!".

Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Sincerely,

John "Captain Caps" Kilduff

[Maxie Zeus]

Originally posted by Captain Caps
"If you don't like me, don't watch me."

1.) Well, that's kind of impossible when she appears to be on EVERY CHANNEL! :p

Hmmm. What does it say about my choice of channels that I don't think I've ever stumbled across this person?

[Matthew Hunter]

As I understand it, she started as a child actor on the Disney channel. She's only 2 or 3 years older than I am. I'd love to be that age and already have enough money for the rest of my life. I've just never have liked her songs. She doesn't even write, or play the music...all she does is sort of squeak and do a sexy dance. From what I've read this movie is NOT for the age group that listens to her, and that is going to hurt it in the long run. Not that that ever stopped her from becoming...very adult lately.She has a screen presence, but I think she tries way too hard to look like a prostitute. Talk about MTV sending kids a bad message...and other people, like Ted Turner, worry about Speedy Gonzales? Please. As for the film, I haven't paid any attention to the previews for this movie, but it sounds like it's one I will skip.
-Matthew

[Captain Caps]

What does it say about my choice of channels that I don't think I've ever stumbled across this person?---Maxie Zeus

It says you either have a satellite dish or a better cable system.

I was only joking with that first answer. I didn't expect to be taken seriously. Yeesh, and they wonder why I don't have that good of a sense of humor.

Sincerely,

John "Captain Caps" Kilduff

[langden alger]

*falls down on knees* We can't get new Batman movies, but we can get movies with BRITNEY SPEARS starring!? What the-- *trails off*


hey, don't worry man...could've been worse. we might've gotten a new batman movie co-starring brittney spears......... :eek:

:(

[Trent Lane]

Can't stand Bratney, could really do without another movie with Mandy Moore- could she be any more fake? Don't think so. The Episode II rumor was pretty bad, and I'm not cool with the whole AP3 thing. Do these "pop stars" not make enough money singing? You want to do some good, spare us your horrible acting, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! :eek: :mad: :(

[Jedigreedo]

Nah, they're just publicity stunts, actually they make way too much money "singing." See, think about it, like with Austin Powers.. Ok, alot of people liked the first one, but alot of them weren't to happy with the second one, and putting pop stars that have corrupted many into a third one will get their fans into the audience therefore raising the people money who would have otherwise probably of lost it had they stuck with real actors. Which does raise the fact that they probably don't have to pay a singer as much as they do a known actor.

[BWDK]

Originally posted by Matthew Hunter
She doesn't even write, or play the music...all she does is sort of squeak and do a sexy dance. -Matthew

I need to correct you. She wrote all songs of her new album by herself, except for 4. (Slave 4 U, Boys, Not A Girl, Overprotected)

[Jedigreedo]

Well I just saw the trailer on the E! channel... I've now lost all faith in Paramount, first Enterprise, and now being associates in the crime of the year! I'm gonna go weep with my only resort to watching something good on TV lately - the test pattern. :D