Captain Caps
01-01-2002, 09:10 PM
---Suggested by Brainatra's "authors across time" idea from a year or two back---
(Fade in on Captain Caps, the author. A young man of 19, attired in a T-shirt and pants, he sits at a computer. On a Discman, we hear the Starship song "Sara")
Caps: So, I got it wrong. It was Rebecca DeMornay, not Rosanna Arquette. It's not bad, it's okay, it's...Aw, (bleep)! Who am I fooling? The more I hope that the new year will change, the more I'm confronted with (bleep) like this! Is this how it's fated to be, for the rest of my natural-born life? God, I have to escape here. I wish I knew how, though.
(All of a sudden, a lamp starts radiating blue light. The room becomes increasingly more colorful, and then Caps is dissolved from his room into a cloudy place. Record albums, Zoso symbols, and the covers of every book, CD, tape, video and DVD Caps has ever watched or read swirls around him. 2 women, familiar to fanfic followers, enter the scene, then clear the twirling debris away.)
Caps: Where am I?
Callie: Like, you're the guy who created us?
Caps: Callie?
Wendi: You forgot me! I'm Wendi, and I'm your creation, too!
Callie: You look so...odd!
Caps: What, you were expecting Rick Springfield?
Wendi: No, but that's not important. You wanted an escape, and we're offering you one.
Callie: It's a totally awesome one way "'Pass To The Past". We'll send you back in time to wherever you want to go.
Caps: Really, so I don't have to worry about now for a long time?
Callie: Yeah. I warn you, though. The only way back, if you don't like your past, is to hope you find Doctor Emmett Brown!
Wendi: Yeah, but, like, if "Once And Future Warners" was any indication, he's none too pleased with what people do with his time machine. You'll have to hope for the best.
Callie and Wendi: So, like, do you except?
Caps: Um, I guess.
Callie: Alright, where's your destination?
Caps: Um, 1986, please!
Wendi: (Taking out a small remote control) Alright, one way ticket to 1986 coming up!
(The "Back To The Future" theme plays, as Caps is once again beamed up in blue light. We then see him barrelling through a tunnel, as images from his past surround him. We then see a Californian landscape, as Caps plummets to the ground)
Caps: Ow! Whoa, that wasn't real!
(A boombox can be heard playing "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna)
Caps: (Walking up to the boombox man) Pardon me, but is that a retro hour you're listening to?
Boombox Man: No, it's the Top 40!
Caps: Oh, a rewind!
Boombox man: No. It's for this week in 1986!
Caps: 1986?
Boombox man: You got wax in your ears?
Caps: No, thank you! Gotta go!
(Caps runs to a record store and takes a breath)
Caps: Holy (bleep), it worked!
(Cut back to 2001. Brainatra and Craig are chatting in the writer's room)
Craig: Captain Caps will love this story!
Brainatra: Yep. Set in the 80s, right up his alley. Why I'm doing this, I don't know, but he'll appreciate it! Hey, Belch, you got the pizza?
Belch: Yep, right here. I also got soda and...
(A message flashes on-screen)
Craig: Oooh, let me get it! Hello!
Callie: Hey, Craig, Brainatra, (uneasily) Belch. How are you?
Craig: Fine. Sorry about your dead story, but we've got a new one on tap, and Caps will love it.
Callie: Um, guys?
Craig, Brainatra, Belch: Yes?
Wendi: We sent him back in time!
Craig: Yeah, right. It can't happen.
Callie: We did. He's now in 1986. He says these modern times are too hard for him, and I agree. Anyway, he won't be back for a while, or possibly permanently.
Craig: Oh, boy!
Callie: Yeah, so you want to see him again?
Craig: Um, okay!
Callie: Hold on, we'll be on our way out soon!
---I'll pick up here tomorrow, unless Brainatra, Craig or Belch are reading this and want to write their own parts and speak for themselves---
(Fade in on Captain Caps, the author. A young man of 19, attired in a T-shirt and pants, he sits at a computer. On a Discman, we hear the Starship song "Sara")
Caps: So, I got it wrong. It was Rebecca DeMornay, not Rosanna Arquette. It's not bad, it's okay, it's...Aw, (bleep)! Who am I fooling? The more I hope that the new year will change, the more I'm confronted with (bleep) like this! Is this how it's fated to be, for the rest of my natural-born life? God, I have to escape here. I wish I knew how, though.
(All of a sudden, a lamp starts radiating blue light. The room becomes increasingly more colorful, and then Caps is dissolved from his room into a cloudy place. Record albums, Zoso symbols, and the covers of every book, CD, tape, video and DVD Caps has ever watched or read swirls around him. 2 women, familiar to fanfic followers, enter the scene, then clear the twirling debris away.)
Caps: Where am I?
Callie: Like, you're the guy who created us?
Caps: Callie?
Wendi: You forgot me! I'm Wendi, and I'm your creation, too!
Callie: You look so...odd!
Caps: What, you were expecting Rick Springfield?
Wendi: No, but that's not important. You wanted an escape, and we're offering you one.
Callie: It's a totally awesome one way "'Pass To The Past". We'll send you back in time to wherever you want to go.
Caps: Really, so I don't have to worry about now for a long time?
Callie: Yeah. I warn you, though. The only way back, if you don't like your past, is to hope you find Doctor Emmett Brown!
Wendi: Yeah, but, like, if "Once And Future Warners" was any indication, he's none too pleased with what people do with his time machine. You'll have to hope for the best.
Callie and Wendi: So, like, do you except?
Caps: Um, I guess.
Callie: Alright, where's your destination?
Caps: Um, 1986, please!
Wendi: (Taking out a small remote control) Alright, one way ticket to 1986 coming up!
(The "Back To The Future" theme plays, as Caps is once again beamed up in blue light. We then see him barrelling through a tunnel, as images from his past surround him. We then see a Californian landscape, as Caps plummets to the ground)
Caps: Ow! Whoa, that wasn't real!
(A boombox can be heard playing "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna)
Caps: (Walking up to the boombox man) Pardon me, but is that a retro hour you're listening to?
Boombox Man: No, it's the Top 40!
Caps: Oh, a rewind!
Boombox man: No. It's for this week in 1986!
Caps: 1986?
Boombox man: You got wax in your ears?
Caps: No, thank you! Gotta go!
(Caps runs to a record store and takes a breath)
Caps: Holy (bleep), it worked!
(Cut back to 2001. Brainatra and Craig are chatting in the writer's room)
Craig: Captain Caps will love this story!
Brainatra: Yep. Set in the 80s, right up his alley. Why I'm doing this, I don't know, but he'll appreciate it! Hey, Belch, you got the pizza?
Belch: Yep, right here. I also got soda and...
(A message flashes on-screen)
Craig: Oooh, let me get it! Hello!
Callie: Hey, Craig, Brainatra, (uneasily) Belch. How are you?
Craig: Fine. Sorry about your dead story, but we've got a new one on tap, and Caps will love it.
Callie: Um, guys?
Craig, Brainatra, Belch: Yes?
Wendi: We sent him back in time!
Craig: Yeah, right. It can't happen.
Callie: We did. He's now in 1986. He says these modern times are too hard for him, and I agree. Anyway, he won't be back for a while, or possibly permanently.
Craig: Oh, boy!
Callie: Yeah, so you want to see him again?
Craig: Um, okay!
Callie: Hold on, we'll be on our way out soon!
---I'll pick up here tomorrow, unless Brainatra, Craig or Belch are reading this and want to write their own parts and speak for themselves---