hoping this works..

[klammed]

http://klammed.blogspot.com/2005/12/comic-page.html

*hopes the link works*

It's a comic page I did. Erm, C & C?

[James]

Link works fine.

That's a lovely bit of comic strip. Is that pencil? The gentle linework and shading is really very refreshing. The panel layout is dynamic enough for the narrative without being contrived. The idea is really good too. Nice gentle tough of humour which doesn't talkdown or overplay the punchline.

I think the only suggestion is while you have the sun in panel one, the reference comes in panel 2, where there is no indication of sun. I think you need some form of visual reference to illumination, if not the landscape.

I really like panel two. That's a lovely closeup.

[klammed]

Hmm, maybe I'll play around with the words a bit. I was hoping the 'illumination' would be shown in the shading, but now that you've mentioned it, 'landscape' would then have been out of place.

Thank you for the encouragement, and yes, it's pencil :) . I uh, don't dare to ink my work just yet for fear of spoiling it. Perhaps I will print it out and ink it someday.

[James]

Hmm, maybe I'll play around with the words a bit. I was hoping the 'illumination' would be shown in the shading, but now that you've mentioned it, 'landscape' would then have been out of place.

Thank you for the encouragement, and yes, it's pencil :) . I uh, don't dare to ink my work just yet for fear of spoiling it. Perhaps I will print it out and ink it someday.

I would say it's worth the risk. Or even doing a few sketches with the intention of inking. It's a skill worth aqquiring even if you end up prefering pencil.

As for the illumination, probably one problem with pencil is it's soft and doesn't really capture those more needed contrasts in light you required. Or maybe I was just being dumb. :)

[klammed]

Okay, I inked it, found the lines in panel two too harsh, and tried to soften the whole thing up by colouring it in with pencils.

Same link up in first post, tell me how I did :D

Oh, but I removed the 'text boxes'... not sure if it was wise.

If this pulls through, I might just ask my school's editorial board (which I'm in) try and publish it in the quarterly we're attempting to get out next year. I will of course be cropping the edges if it does. heh.

[James]

Is it just me here.. ?!

Nice natural colours. What you need to do IMHO is:

Border those pictures. I suggest black borders. You could even use a rectangle tool on most art programs (just make sure you have a backup!) and border the whole page in black.

For instance:

http://www.worldsfinestonline.com/DKA/issues/strips/029.jpg

The black REALLY squashes the colour in together, making the whole compositions more vivid and more professional. The reason I suggest this is so much easier than trying to define decent equal black frames and in your case, I think more effective. IMHO.

Then, the text.

I think the serif text gives the story maturity, but as with any serif text, it lacks definition at small scale against a complicated background. You need to find a method to combat this issue which MAY revert to having textboxes again!

I am genuinely eager to see what it looks with some refinements to page presentation.

[klammed]

Meeeehhhh!!!! EYE CANDY!!! (the new strip is out?) ahem. *composes self*

Okay, err, I gave it borders and cropped it, adding the text boxes in all panels except the panel 2 close up, because, well, the background there was pretty light, and it was only in one colour... sorta.

http://klammed.blogspot.com/2005/12/comic-page-complete.html

new link. C & C very welcome. SJJ: Many, MANY thanks :D .

[James]

I think that looks great. You could even maybe crop the black outside border more, just so it's not so "fat black" round the edges of the Jpeg, but yes, I think that works. You can read the text well, the pictures are contained and I think that gives it a more professional edge.

You may find better ways to frame. You may go to through the task of building solid line frames, but I think this is a simple and very effective of clean framing. It makes the images stand out.

[klammed]

You've got me confused now.


not so "fat black" round the edges of the Jpeg

solid line frames,
those bits. :sweat:

[SilverKnight]

I think what SJJ's trying to say is that the black border might be a little too thick. A thick black border, as he said, really smooshes the color in there, makes them more defined; however, using too much black as a border can backfire and have the opposite effect.

As it stands, it's a very nice comic; the shading and colors are soft, and a very nice change of pace from most computer colored/harsh color seperated comics you see out there. Crop a bit of that black border as to focus the eye more on the comic itself, and you'll have yourself a winner. :D

[James]

I think what SJJ's trying to say is that the black border might be a little too thick. A thick black border, as he said, really smooshes the color in there, makes them more defined; however, using too much black as a border can backfire and have the opposite effect.

As it stands, it's a very nice comic; the shading and colors are soft, and a very nice change of pace from most computer colored/harsh color seperated comics you see out there. Crop a bit of that black border as to focus the eye more on the comic itself, and you'll have yourself a winner. :D

That's exactly what I meant and I agree on all counts.

[klammed]

I c.

thanks both :)

[James]

I c.

thanks both :)

If you get the chance, please give a crop a go, post it seperately. I would be interested to see the difference!