Ridiculous Dialogue in Games

[Gatomon41]

Yeah, people have heard or read of Badly writen dialouge in games. But in some games, the dialouge is just ridiculous for the monment.

Take Advanced Wars 2. The game centers itself around warfare. After finishing one mission, one of the CO's says "Lets go have a Barbeque now!"

I sat there thinking: "Your men fought and died brutally for you and all you can think is having a Barbeque?" It was both silly and horrifying.

Have there been any other dialouge in games that was absurd for the context opf the game?

[Zechs]

Yeah I can't even coutn how many times I've heard cheesy dialouge in games. You'd think with all the money they sind into games now they'd have some worth while dialogue.

[Pretentious]

Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow is essentially nothing but dialogue that ranges from bad to outright confusing. Just one example (the one that stands out most to me).

Hammer: Oh! What's a child like yourself doing in a place like this?
Soma: A child? You're rude, granpa.
Hammer: Oh my apologies. My name is Hammer. The army ordered me to come here.
Soma: Hi, I'm Soma.

Yeah...

[Mynd Hed]

YOU
SPOONY
BARD!!!

...an oldy but a goody.

[Artimus Gigan]

YOU
SPOONY
BARD!!!

...an oldy but a goody.T'was his dying words...

I'd like to mention the various characters from Disgea and their habbits of spouting asinine phrases at random moments in time

[Kurtman]

http://www.spilya.com/albums/media/all_your_base.jpg

[Artimus Gigan]

WRRRYYYY!!!!!!!!!

[James Bester]

Sonic Heroes was the "king" of ridiculous dialogue.

Metal Sonic: But why can't I ever defeat you?
Sonic: Cause we're Sonic Heroes!

And then a minute later as the last line of the game:
Sonic: Alright! Our next adventure awaits us, so there's no time to waste! Yeah! We are Sonic Heroes!

I go on and get all of the chaos emeralds, and this is the ending I get?:mad:

[Pretentious]

WRRRYYYY!!!!!!!!! To be fair, that's a sound effect.

[Dark Fact]

SNK arcade games. Nuff said.

[Classic Speedy]

(about to be zapped into oblivion by Gex)
Rez: No, NO! Don't do it! I'll do anything! I know Tarantino's gardener's fiance! I could probably get you a read...

[MJC]

I'm playing Shadow the Hedgehog right now, and Shadow says "Damn!" like every five seconds. It's annoying. :sweat:

[Peter Paltridge]

(about to be zapped into oblivion by Gex)
Rez: No, NO! Don't do it! I'll do anything! I know Tarantino's gardener's fiance! I could probably get you a read...What's wrong with that? That's actually funny.

Here's one from Advance Wars DS:
"Pass out the dinner plates, 'cause you just got SERVED!!"

And we can't forget Star Ocean 2. Among hundreds of choices:
"I will turn you into a beehive!"
Not only is it bad, no one has ever been able to figure out WHAT IT MEANS!

[Classic Speedy]

What's wrong with that? That's actually funny. It's not so much a ridiculous line of dialog (i.e. Zero Wing) as it is that what Rez is describing is a ridiculous situation. I agree, the line is pretty funny.

Another one: Multiple times in some Spyro 2 cinemas, the scientist character will be announcing that he's almost done making or fixing the portal. Every time, he says, "Just a FEW more calculations...." And within a couple scribbles, he proclaims it's finished.

Apparently he's smart enough to design a portal but not smart enough to finish his equations seconds before activating it. Either that, or he's faking it and likes showing off his math skillz :p

[Pretentious]

SNK arcade games. Nuff said.
Just a gem from World Heroes 2.

"The strong rule. The winners are just. That is my belief. But then again, I think the Democrats can save America."

[heyguysok]

Tales of Symphonia. Has some awesome voice talent and is a very fun game, but yeesh! Some of the lines are uber cheezy. (And I hate to say it, but some of the acting from said awesome voice talent seemed awkward at times as well).

Oh, and the first Ninja Turtles game for Gamecube. What with all the "Eat feet!Eat feet!Eat feet!Eat feet!" and "Out of my way, nimrod" over and over and OVER. Thank god you could mute the dialogue.

[Batmex]

For your delight guys there's a site that collects the stupidiest, chessiests quotes in nearly all video games::D

http://zanyvg.overclocked.org/

Warning pg-13 for some strong language in some places.

[PhantomZero]

I hate in game when instead of talking with there real voices,the use by typing text?Take it for example,the one that seg posted.Plus it takes up half of the screen..also wastes gameplay time.

[Zyzzybalubah]

Sonic Heroes was the "king" of ridiculous dialogue.

Metal Sonic: But why can't I ever defeat you?
Sonic: Cause we're Sonic Heroes!

And then a minute later as the last line of the game:
Sonic: Alright! Our next adventure awaits us, so there's no time to waste! Yeah! We are Sonic Heroes!

I go on and get all of the chaos emeralds, and this is the ending I get?:mad:
Wow just the fact they ended up calling themselves Sonic Heroes is so damn stupid.

But yeah Sonic games are normally notorious for having bad dialogue. Nothing at the top of my head at the moment, but come on we know it's true. :)

[Jave]

TOASTY!!!

[TheMecca]

"NEXT IT IS THE TURN OF YOU!" from Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga.
Enough said.

[Kurtman]

Hmmmm.............this one line in Phantasy Star 4 always cracks me up but it does seem a little awkward........................:
"You blabbing old fart! Do you tell every single fool who comes here my measurements!?" - Alys Brangwin

[SirLemming]

I believe it was the boss fight with Pyro in the original X-Men beat-'em-up game (I might be wrong, but it was definitely some boss somewhere):

PYRO: Welcome... to die!


My personal favorite, though, is from the old Avengers beat-'em-up game (the one with Captain America, Hawkeye, Vision, and others):

HEROES: You won't escape this time!
VILLAIN: YOU'LL be the one escaping!!

[Daizaburo Estes]

http://zanyvgquotes.com/streetfighter/guyslikeyou.png

[Conan-san]

"NEXT IT IS THE TURN OF YOU!" from Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga.
Enough said. But Fawful's daialoge was deliberately Engrlish.

[Mr. Pedro]

T'was his dying words... Uh Tellah didn't die until after he fought Golbez in the Tower of Zot. It was casting Meteo that killed him. The "Spoony Bard" comment came earlier in the game at Damcyan. It was Anna (Tellah's daughter) who died there.

[Mek]

There's just too many in F-Zero GX's story mode AND F-Zero TV interviews, so here's the cream of the crap...errr... crop:

STORY MODE
"Wait! Where are you taking me?!"
-A friend of mine once said that the way Falcon delivered that line made it seem like he ENJOYED going into backrooms with old men. XD;;;

"Jody's still inside the building!"
-Well of course she is John! XD

"Let's settle this at the Grand Prix, not like this! It's the cowards way!"

"The cowards way? You make it sound so noble! I plan to eliminate anyone that stands between me and the prize. Simple as that!"
-To be fair, the vocal delivery in the opening cinema for Chapter 6 was the best in the entire game. But the dialouge? LMAO!

... Pretty much everything from Chapter 8 and 9. Especially Deathborn's hokey speech about light and dark and Falcon's victory speech.

F-ZERO TV
Q: Got a message for your viewers?
A: YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR LOVED ONES!
- Thank you Deathborn.

Q: Your rivals were out for your blood today!
A: But of course, I won. And so the story has a happy ending for the heroine!
- Jody, Jody, Jody...

Q: You even beat Captain Falcon!
A: It was time someone good-looking won this race.
- Vain much, Baba?

Q: What was the key to your victory?
A: Being so handsome! *laughs*
- Yeah Goroh, I'm sure what's why Lisa Brillaint married you. XD;;;

Q: Who are your worst passengers?
A: Drunks. And couples who can't get their hands off each other.
- TMI, PJ! TMI! XD;;;;

But wait! As an added bonus, here's a gem from F-Zero GP Legend. That in itself had very bad dialouge, but this is the most ridiculous of them all:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v283/mekairinek/F-Zero%20Crap/screenshots/margaret.png

[SirLemming]

I love in House of the Dead 2 (I think it's 2) when the dying man gives you an important key and then after he collapses your character's response is a very nonchalant "Thanks."

[Daikun]

95% of the dialogue in the Star Fox games.

[Sr.Infierno]

When I read this thread title, the first thing that instantly came to mind was Final Fantasy 7, one of the worst translations I've ever seen.

[straw_hat]

Playing Castlevania II recently I remembered how bad the hints from the villagers and books were.

After Castlevania I warned you not to return
Don't look into the Death Star, or you will die
Believe in magic and you'll be saved
Take my daughter, please!!
When I was you're age, women loved me
Get a silk bag from the Graveyard Duck to live longer
Hit Deborah Cliff with your head to make a hole
I've been waiting for a good looking guy like you
I want to get to know you better
Don't make me stay. I'll die
Get back!!
You've upset the people. Now get out of town!!
Let's live here together
The curse has killed the laurel tree
To restore your life, shout in front of the church
Laurels in your soup enhances its aroma
A flame flickers inside the ring of fire

[William C. Maune]

I AM ERROR. - From Zelda II.

Pic: http://www.urbandictionary.com/images.php?imageid=37423

[Juu-kuchi]

http://img285.imageshack.us/img285/5066/doubledr0002vd.png

[Dark Fact]

I believe it was the boss fight with Pyro in the original X-Men beat-'em-up game (I might be wrong, but it was definitely some boss somewhere):

PYRO: Welcome... to die!
Actually, that was Magneto! ;)

[HellCat]

Gundam SEED Battle Assault has a few:

Kira, in Freedom: "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
Mu, in Strike: "Shut up! Don't tell me what I can do!"
Mu, acting like a 14 year old

Rau's dialogue when he fights Astray Red Frame. Can't remember the exact quote but it's effectively "Hmm, an unknown MS that poses no threat to me. I'll go out of my way to fight it anyway!"

Sonic Heroes- after Team Rose fights Team Sonic, Amy and Cream discuss the situation:
Cream "I can't believe he did all that just to get away. Mr Sonic must be really..."
Amy "Really? What?"
Cream "Uh, nothing! *terrible giggling*"
The problem here is, Amy's line sounds like part of a completly different conversation. It should be "Really what?" but she splits it in two like someone made a suprising statment.

[90'sCartoonMan]

My personal favorite, though, is from the old Avengers beat-'em-up game (the one with Captain America, Hawkeye, Vision, and others):

HEROES: You won't escape this time!
VILLAIN: YOU'LL be the one escaping!!
That game is terrible.

HEROES: Where's the laser?
ULTRON: Ask the police.

RED SKULL: YOU PUNY MEN!

Something about "Why should it go well?", but I forgot who said it

OKAY...GO!!!!!!!

[Daikun]

http://img285.imageshack.us/img285/5066/doubledr0002vd.pngBest post yet in this thread. :p

[Evil Tim]

That game is terrible.

HEROES: Where's the laser?
ULTRON: Ask the police.

RED SKULL: YOU PUNY MEN!

Something about "Why should it go well?", but I forgot who said it

OKAY...GO!!!!!!!
It's worse than that. I think the line actually reads "Why should it goes well?" I think Captain America says it to the boss at the end of the first level.

[Jave]

"A WINNER IS YOU", people!

[Lazyboi13]

House of the Dead 2:

Suffer like G did?

WTF is up with that? Its statement/threat and yet he says it like a question :shrug:

Actually all the dialoge was abd in House ofthe Dead 2, allthough I loved it allthe same

"Huuuuurrrrry gooooOO"

[Yash]

Luffy asking Sanji to cook him up some golden stew (as in stew made out of gold) in One Piece: Grand Battle O_o