christmas always sucks for me

[kiddiesunshine]

every year, we lose some spirit. time on the eve passes like any other day. we become even poorer. i have 1 gift this year. despite monetary problems, i managed to spend about $100 on family. some folks have it so easy. why not my family? why would a man, who loved us so much, allow us to suffer?

[Calhoun07]

Yeah, well, I ain't exactly dancing around singing Deck the Halls either. This time of year is a burden on me finacially, and reminds me that tax time is not too far away, and because of my job, I work, so it's really like another day. But somehow, I put my best foot forward and go on without complaining (much!)

[kiddiesunshine]

there are people worse off than me, so i guess i can't complain.

[The Dork Knight]

Here here. We've been having problems since my grandmother passed away. It really sucks.

- Foley Is Good

[DR. BELCH]

My father died a week before Christmas 1997, so it's always a bit of a somber time for me. This time of the year, more than any other, is given over to reflecting on probably the biggest, most life-coloring loss of my life and ask myself why the hand of God is so cold and cruel. But I have to agree that I still have a few things to hold on to and be thankful for that others may lack.

[The Clown Prince]

My parents divorced when I was 18 four years ago, and Christmas is the only holiday that really upsets me about the whole thing. I go to church twice a year, once at Christmas Eve and the other at Easter, anyways, when I went to church last night, it opened a whole flood gate of memories which depressed me.

My girlfriend, who comes from a very traditional type family with married parents still, tries her best to make my Christmas' great. Her family loves me and loves to include me in everything, but yet while I'm grateful for this, it also upsets me at how things once were for me and my family. Her and I parted ways last night on not the best of moods because of me and how I was feeling. I get really jealous sometimes because of it. So while they're trying to do a good thing, bad also comes from it too.

Her parents invited me for Christmas Day dinner which I'm happy they did, but my gf told me that her mom had said that she was happy to have me because she knew I really had no where else to go for Christmas. It kind of upset me cause I don't want to be treated like a charity case or anything. I didn't tell my gf for this for fear of another fight that I didn't want to have.

I went home Christmas Eve night and had the house all to myself until 10 Christmas morning. Dad ended up staying the night at his girlfriends. Which I'm happy for him. But being alone gave me time to think and I ended up breaking down of sorts last night.

It just sucks over all so bad. But like kiddiesunshine said, there are people worse off than me so I can't complain. I do have people in my life that try to make it good for me. But it's still hard.

On this note, have a very Merry Christmas everyone. And that is NOT sarcasm. I promise it isn't. :)

The Clown Prince