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View Full Version : Stupid things to say or do in your jail cell


Brandon Pierce
09-04-2005, 11:34 AM
"Excuse me, but WHY is there a big HOLE in my FLOOR that leads to the OUTSIDE?!"
TrogdorNyimbhat
09-04-2005, 11:45 AM
Haha, tell the guard you will trade your gun for him letting you go!
K-dog
09-04-2005, 02:48 PM
dont drop the soap
Sharklady
09-04-2005, 03:52 PM
"I assume you won't mind if I play my Barry Manilow albums without headphones."
Captain Zechs
09-04-2005, 05:16 PM
-Try and seduce the guard

-Ask for a shovel

-Make fun of your cell mate only to find out he is the toughest guy in the whole place.
candy17
09-04-2005, 09:30 PM
Bad things to say/do while in jail:

"What do you mean, 'Bend over and pick up the soap?' You know I have a bad back!"

"Where's Martha Stewart?"

Take bets with the warden on how long it will be before Robert Downey, Jr. comes back

"I'm scared. Let's spoon!"

Bring the complete first season of HBO's Oz and cite many differences between the show and real life prison
Zach
09-04-2005, 10:08 PM
Mind if I take a **** in the floor?
TrogdorNyimbhat
09-05-2005, 01:14 AM
Excuse me, but where's my cell-phone?
megachao24
09-05-2005, 10:09 PM
Do you got any batteries for my Game Boy Advance?
Malex
09-05-2005, 10:40 PM
"No, I will not wear this wig and pretend to be 'Charlene.'"
Saelphronarf
09-06-2005, 11:16 AM
You know what's bad about prison? The hours. I mean, all day! Come on!

Is Andy DuFrame here? ( Shawshank Redemption )

Warden, I'm just saying, why do we have to have FOUR walls, why not three.


-Saelphronarf
Alex Toon
09-06-2005, 03:07 PM
propose to "Bubba" and have wedding in Boston
Watch final episode of Seinfeld and site similarites
listen to Ellen DeGeneres discuss prison life in "The Funny Thing Is..."
LightShadow1890
09-06-2005, 03:18 PM
"Oooohhh....let's do it again! Let's do it again!" (bounce on bed like a child).
Agent S7
09-08-2005, 04:22 PM
"Touch your tounge to mine!"

~s7
megachao24
09-08-2005, 05:23 PM
Excuse me while I pee on the wall.
M.A.S.
09-09-2005, 04:20 AM
"You have any quarters for the arcade?"
mikestorm
09-09-2005, 11:32 AM
Guard, I couldn't help but notice you have some significant and debilitating anger management issues. I strongly suggest you find some outlet to direct your rage or I can personally guarantee you will give yourself a heart-attack.




Also I slept with your wife.
mikestorm
09-09-2005, 11:42 AM
"Let's try Icepick! Icepick Icepick Bo Bicepick Banana Fanna Fo Ficepick, Me Mi Mo Micepick. Icepick!"