I love Michelle

[Fone Bone]

I was talking to one of my best friends tonight. We were in the State Hospital together. She let me know that one of our friends from there named Michelle died. I've known a few people from that place that have died and Michelle was one of the closest friends I had there. She was older than me and always looked out for me when the staff bullied me. I was kind of weird (still am) and she loved me for who I was. I used to sing songs to her. I'm happy to say that when she died she had been out of the hospital for a few years. She died of natural causes and I miss her very much.

I didn't start this thread for sympathy. I haven't cried and I feel guilty about that but I'm not looking for people telling me how sorry they are. I started this thread because I wanted to let people on a public forum know how much Michelle meant to me. She was a great person and will always be in my heart. I know she is in Heaven and at peace. I love her very much.

[Kurtman]

I know how you feel. I also seem to lack tears at deaths often and only feel extremely depressed. My cousin,Chase died a couple years ago in a car accident and I never got to meet him myself. That made me feel incredibly depressed.

[Aquadementia]

It can be tough to find someone who will stick up for you in hard times, and those had of been vary hard times.
And I'm sure you brought a lot to her life too.
She sounds like a great person.
...I haven't cried and I feel guilty about that ...I wouldn't worry about it. People expect they're supposed to act a certain way, but it's always complicated and keeps changing, sometimes from minute to minute. You just got to let yourself feel what you feel.
Take care Fone Bone.

[Style]

I know you said you weren't asking for it, but all I can say is that I'm sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was an incredible person.

[Kury Wagner]

I haven't cried and I feel guilty about that Don't worry about that. Eventually, you probably will. When my grandfather died a few years ago, I didn't cry at all (and I was around saddened family for a week). Everyone around me was so incredibly sad, but I really wasn't. If anything, I was just being empathic occasionally. And while I was sad that a fellow being had died (I'm always saddened when that happens), I just didn't feel the need to grieve. I claimed that I didn't really know him, but that was just a weak excuse. A few months later however, I did cry. Something reminded me of him, and I just started bawling. That whole day I kept thinking "Oh my gosh, he's gone. My grandpa is really gone." And just recently I had a dream that I had gotten a chance to say goodbye to him. It was oddly nice. But my point in all that was simply that you'll mourn her in due time. Don't force it, and don't feel bad about it.


It's a shame she had to pass away, but she was lucky to have you as a friend.

[LightShadow1890]

Some people don't cry, or wail, at a time of death. I've seen it where people lose some who was close and yet they don't cry. You will cry, just don't force it.

It's great that you love somebody, and I feel great for you to feel that way. But, your title scared me a little.

Also, I can't resist it, but I'm sorry. She must've been a very good friend, and I know it just sucks to have someone close to you die. Death can be a pain in the butt.

[Pupmon 4.0]

I am sorry to hear about your friend Mr.Fone Bone.


I haven't cried and I feel guilty about that There's no need to feel guilty Mr.Fone Bone,why just a few months ago,I found out that an elderly friend of mine had deceased.She had moved out of town not long before,fourtunately I had the chance to say goodbye to her before she moved.
Although I did not cry,I felt a bit sorrowful at hearing about her decease.
Also,I hope that you Mr.Fone Bone,had the chance to bid farewell
to your friend as well.I will be praying for you.

[screw on head]

I think this is a great way to remember her F.B. :)

Both pairs of my grandparents died before I got to know them, so the closest things I had to grandparents were my great aunt and great uncle. My uncle died and that was pretty tough to deal with. I didn't cry despite how much I missed him.

The most theraputic thing for me was when I read a speech about him to my tenth grade english class. I had a tough time reading it, choked up a bit, and that, to this day, was the closest I've came to crying about him.

If you comfortable with doing this, don't hesitate to talk to as many people as you want about her. Doing that, talking about my uncle to people, which I still do, is very comforting. It's one of the best things you can do to honor her memory.

[90'sCartoonMan]

I was kind of weird (still am) and she loved me for who I was. I used to sing songs to her. I'm happy to say that when she died she had been out of the hospital for a few years. She died of natural causes and I miss her very much.
I'm not sure how to react to this thread, except to say that it sounds like you had a beautiful relationship with her and I'm glad you're dealing with this in a positive way.

[Weatherman]

I'm sure you'll sort yourself out at some point Fone. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. She sounds like quite a person.:(

[BrendaBat]

Origionally posted by Fone Bone
I haven't cried and I feel guilty about that...I had the same reaction when my Grandmother died last year. It was the first time that someone close to me had died and I felt guilty and confused when I didn't feel the urge to cry. So you're not alone *hugs*.

[Fone Bone]

I had the same reaction when my Grandmother died last year. It was the first time that someone close to me had died and I felt guilty and confused when I didn't feel the urge to cry. So you're not alone *hugs*.My Grandma died in September and I didn't cry about it. I was much closer to Michelle and this worries me. I still hadn't talked to Michelle in a long time though so I never had a chance to say goodbye. I feel guilty about that too. Sometimes it's hard for me to talk to my friends from the hospital because I have bad memories from there. I love my friends from there but when I talk to them it sometimes brings up painful memories.



It's great that you love somebody, and I feel great for you to feel that way. But, your title scared me a little. Why?




I think this is a great way to remember her F.B. :) Thank you.



If you comfortable with doing this, don't hesitate to talk to as many people as you want about her. Doing that, talking about my uncle to people, which I still do, is very comforting. It's one of the best things you can do to honor her memory. It sucks but my case worker Melissa is gone until Monday. I don't feel comfortable with talking to my parents or my sister because my mother was abusive when I was younger and used personal things from my life against me. I've learned not to tell her things and that unfortunately sometimes extends to my Dad and sister because I'm afraid something personal will accidently get back to her. They understand this although my Dad sometimes doesn't think I'm not doing enough stuff with my life because I seldom talk about it.

I know you said you weren't asking for it, but all I can say is that I'm sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was an incredible person. Thanks Style. I'm glad I have a friend like you. Don't you go anywhere.

[guinaevere]

It sucks but my case worker Melissa is gone until Monday. She back yet, Fone?


I don't feel comfortable with talking to my parents or my sister because my mother was abusive when I was younger and used personal things from my life against me. I've learned not to tell her things and that unfortunately sometimes extends to my Dad and sister because I'm afraid something personal will accidently get back to her. They understand this although my Dad sometimes doesn't think I'm not doing enough stuff with my life because I seldom talk about it. Sugar, what matters is that a) you have someone you can talk with (Melissa) and b) that you have your (very good) reasons for not discussing things with your family. This should be respected. If it isn't, it's not YOUR problem, nor is it YOUR fault. I'll back you up on that anytime you get grief for it, so long as you keep celebrating the virtues of your friends. Fair?

[Stewie]

You express your feelings in any way that feels good to you, even if not at all. You loved her. She knew it. You know it. That's all that needs to worry you.
Just do your Fone Bone thing.

[Fone Bone]

She back yet, Fone?Yes, and we talked about Michelle briefly. I sang her the song that I always used to sing to Michelle. I also managed to talk to Allison who runs my spirituality group at my program and she say Michelle is in a better place and is looking down on us, smiling. My other friend (who is also called Michelle) was the one who told me it happened and we talked about it too. I still feel that talking about it is hard and I wish I had talked to Mellisa about it more but I was so happy to see her I didn't want to think about it too much because it makes me sad. Does that make me a bad person?


Sugar, what matters is that a) you have someone you can talk with (Melissa) and b) that you have your (very good) reasons for not discussing things with your family. This should be respected. If it isn't, it's not YOUR problem, nor is it YOUR fault. I'll back you up on that anytime you get grief for it, so long as you keep celebrating the virtues of your friends. Fair?I love my family very much and I don't blame my sister and father for what my Mom says but it does make me choose what I tell them carefully. I'm a really private person normally so it feels good to say these things SOMEWHERE because I don't usually talk about stuff like this.

[guinaevere]

I'm glad you've been able to talk about everything with your friends, Fone.


I still feel that talking about it is hard and I wish I had talked to Mellisa about it more but I was so happy to see her I didn't want to think about it too much because it makes me sad. Does that make me a bad person? No. That makes you human. We all deal with things in different ways. Not all are healthy, so I won't lie and say, "whatever works for you" because that would be irresponsible of me. However it does sound as if you're addressing the loss of your dear friend in a very healthy way.

It's wonderful to celebrate what you admired and loved about Michelle.

[Fone Bone]

I'm glad you've been able to talk about everything with your friends, Fone.

No. That makes you human. We all deal with things in different ways. Not all are healthy, so I won't lie and say, "whatever works for you" because that would be irresponsible of me. However it does sound as if you're addressing the loss of your dear friend in a very healthy way.

It's wonderful to celebrate what you admired and loved about Michelle.I just wish I could do something. It seems like a lot of people from the hospital I knew are dying or have died. It seems unfair to me that the death rate of people I know from there is so high. It's really hard for me to think of it there as I still have nightmares. But I still want to think about Michelle because she protected me when the staff took my stuffed animals away from me. That made me miserable but Michelle always tried to cheer me up. I don't want to think of the hospital and I DO want to think about Michelle and unfortunately the hospital was where Michell helped me the most. This is very confusing.

[Sailor Chibi Otaku]

I've been to some funerals in my first 25 years of life and I only cried at one.

There's nothing wrong with not crying when someone dies. I'm not good at funerals, anyway. I'd be there for comedy relief to one and all because I ALWAYS wonder why people cry. I know they're crying for the loss but I don't think that they'd be happy if you cry. Wouldn't you want to be happy for them because their pain and suffering has ended?

Buaah.. I am no good at funerals.

[guinaevere]

I just wish I could do something. It seems like a lot of people from the hospital I knew are dying or have died. It seems unfair to me that the death rate of people I know from there is so high. Death is a natural part of life, Fone. It's part of Gods design.

As for being unfair, I can't disagree with you. Unfortunately, I can't do anything to change that. Best way to counter this, is to recognize and appreciate all the friends you have now, in your everday life and online too. Count each blessing, one by one, right?


But I still want to think about Michelle because she protected me when the staff took my stuffed animals away from me. That made me miserable but Michelle always tried to cheer me up. I don't want to think of the hospital and I DO want to think about Michelle and unfortunately the hospital was where Michell helped me the most. This is very confusing. It sounds like being sent a sort of angel when you needed it the most.

There may come a time when you are able to think of the hospital without it bringing the pain you associate with it. For now though, it's okay to not think about it. Michelle was your good friend, no matter where you two where... but it's probably very hard to remove her from the environment in your memory.

[Conekiller]

Comming from someone who's lost a dear friend (almost been a year now....:sad: )I know what you're going thru. It's tough comming to grips knowing you can never confide in your friend, never spend time together, just...hanging out. It's difficult. but you must remember to move on as well, don't dwell on things.

Unfortunately, I have to take my own advice, since the 1-year aniversary of Ben's death is fast approaching, little things are reminding me of how much I miss him. Such as the annual Bon festival was this weekend which was where he was headded before his accident. But I have to put those feelings aside, and keep on keepin on.

Youll find the time for sorrow on your own, don't worry aobut it, i didn't cry when my grandfather died either (then agian, his spirit came to me in a dream that night and told me he was alright and going to a better place)

(man, following Gwen's advice posts is hard!)

[Demonic Raven]

I've had similar experiences with the whole not crying at a funeral thing. In particular was my father's funeral, which I didn't really cry or feel much pain. I did feel guilty afterwards, and looking back now I do know the reasons why I didn't cry (too personal to say here), but still I feel guilty.

Try to think of it this way, it takes a very strong person not to cry for someone's death, especially for a person they cared for. :D

[Saelphronarf]

Earlier in the month, my mothers uncle Frank died after triping on the steps, and I was nice enough to attend the wake and funeral (sp?). It was accualy my first time to do so, but the problem was, I never got to know him, let alone see him. I just couldn't be sad over, though, and I couldn't think of what to say to the reletives that were sad. So I didn't really say much at all. In all, it was kind of confusing to me...

*Moment of silence for Michelle, even though I never knew her...*

-Saelphronarf

[Fone Bone]

Death is a natural part of life, Fone. It's part of Gods design. Whenever I hear this it still doesn't make me feel any better.


As for being unfair, I can't disagree with you. Unfortunately, I can't do anything to change that. Best way to counter this, is to recognize and appreciate all the friends you have now, in your everday life and online too. Count each blessing, one by one, right? This is a good idea.


It sounds like being sent a sort of angel when you needed it the most. I'd like to think so. Michelle always looked out for me. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't been for her and my other friends there.


There may come a time when you are able to think of the hospital without it bringing the pain you associate with it. For now though, it's okay to not think about it. Michelle was your good friend, no matter where you two where... but it's probably very hard to remove her from the environment in your memory.I know. It's too hard right now. I try to think about the times me and Michelle were together at program and it's much easier. Allison told me she didn't hear about her death until weeks later either and that she felt guilty about that too. But she said that Michelle is at peace now and that made me feel better.




Comming from someone who's lost a dear friend (almost been a year now....:sad:) I know what you're going thru. It's tough comming to grips knowing you can never confide in your friend, never spend time together, just...hanging out. It's difficult. but you must remember to move on as well, don't dwell on things.

Unfortunately, I have to take my own advice, since the 1-year aniversary of Ben's death is fast approaching, little things are reminding me of how much I miss him. Such as the annual Bon festival was this weekend which was where he was headded before his accident. But I have to put those feelings aside, and keep on keepin on.

Youll find the time for sorrow on your own, don't worry aobut it, i didn't cry when my grandfather died either (then agian, his spirit came to me in a dream that night and told me he was alright and going to a better place) Thank you Conekiller. I know you lost a friend too and it's good to know there are people who know where I'm coming from. I wish I was as close to Michelle as you were to Ben. From what I knew of him he was a wonderful person.


(man, following Gwen's advice posts is hard!) I think you did just fine.

[MEGA TON]

:evil: I once had a dear friend of mine die in a car accident. Her Name was Alicia and she was one of many best band mates I'll ever have...I do wonder (Not that often) what life would have been like if she hadn;t died.

[LightShadow1890]

Why?I'm sorry to say this, but it sounded like a marriage proposal. Meh, I've made dumb titles for threads (does anyone remember that thread I made up due to morons passing flyer for clubs with porno pics on them near my school?) so don't feel bad.


Comming from someone who's lost a dear friend (almost been a year now....:sad: )I know what you're going thru. It's tough comming to grips knowing you can never confide in your friend, never spend time together, just...hanging out. It's difficult. but you must remember to move on as well, don't dwell on things.Yeah. My uncle died almost two years ago, and he was a father figure to me and Mahou (and it sucked that his passing came close to me and Mahou's 13th b-day). So I know how much you Fone and Conekiller are going through. I still cry over his death (like I am now....f---), but I know I have to move on, like my aunt.

I think you need a hug.

*hugs Fone*