Ed Liu
07-29-2005, 12:10 PM
Howdy,
A CNN report (http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/books/07/28/worst.writing.ap/index.html) reminded me of the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction contest (http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/), geared for would-be writers to craft "the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels."
This year's winner:
As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.
It shall pass without comment that the winner is apparently a Microsoft employee ;).
Full results here (http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2005.htm), including the Worst Possible Business Plan for India, an alternate opening to The Fellowship of the Ring, and rather literally purple prose.
-- Ed/Ace
A CNN report (http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/books/07/28/worst.writing.ap/index.html) reminded me of the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction contest (http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/), geared for would-be writers to craft "the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels."
This year's winner:
As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.
It shall pass without comment that the winner is apparently a Microsoft employee ;).
Full results here (http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2005.htm), including the Worst Possible Business Plan for India, an alternate opening to The Fellowship of the Ring, and rather literally purple prose.
-- Ed/Ace