The Most Awesomest Battle of All Time [Archive]

the Amanda

07-14-2005, 07:06 PM

Remember when you were a little kid, and you'd be all like "Hey, look at me, I'm Batman," and then somebody else would be like "Yeah, well I'm Superman, and I'm going to kick your butt with my superpowers!" and then someone else would be like "Well, I'm an invincible fire-breathing ninja!" and then another guy would be like "GIANT SQUID EATS YOU ALL!" This thread is like that.

Basically, I will begin by posting a character. The next person will post a new character, along with a description of how that character could defeat mine. Then the next person posts a character to defeat that second character, and so on.

Please post a description of how that character gets beaten, and try not to repeat characters too much (i.e. no back-and-forth brawling). If your character is obscure, describe the character too.

And so.... a cute fluffy bunny appears in the battle arena, ready to be defeated by the first challenger! :D

Daffy Dork

07-14-2005, 07:10 PM

Your Bunny has been crushed by a ten ton celery stalk...betrayed by it's own friends....

LightShadow1890

07-14-2005, 07:46 PM

Your Bunny has been crushed by a ten ton celery stalk...betrayed by it's own friends....
Sorry, your celery is in a stomach of a giant; eaten by teeth, and ready to be broken apart even more by enzymes in the stomach juice.

Style

07-14-2005, 08:09 PM

Ha! my desk leg stubs the toe of your giant!

Alex Toon

07-14-2005, 09:24 PM

Your desk leg is now food for my empire of termites

Saelphronarf

07-14-2005, 09:27 PM

Style92's desk leg is cut into two by my gaint miter saw.

edit: sorry posted to late

your termites are cut into two with my miter saw

-Saelphronarf

the Amanda

07-14-2005, 10:43 PM

Your Miter Saw has been eaten by robotic Metal Munching Mice!

Matt A

07-15-2005, 09:02 AM

Your Metal Muching Mice have just been trampled by a Metal Munching Elephant that has just been cured of its phobia of small metal faux-rodents.

-Matt A-

Gatomon41

07-15-2005, 10:43 AM

Metal Munching Elephant is turned into Grey Goo by Self-thinking, Rampant Nanotechnology.

Anthonynotes

07-15-2005, 10:49 AM

Unfortunately, the nanotech was running Windows---and thus self-destruct thanks to Bill Gates' sloppy-but-all-dominating-and-monopolistic "programming". ;-)

Saelphronarf

07-15-2005, 11:10 AM

*Destroys Bill Gates mind by a Visual BASIC virus I made that made him go insane*

My computer now waits for a challenge.

-Saelphronarf

Daffy Dork

07-15-2005, 11:10 AM

Bill Gates is getting a Sprite when the angry Macintosh Mafia start fighting his dell destroyer army...the Macintosh Mafia wins and They take over bill gate's company when the poster(daffy dork) realizes that this is a run on sentence and that everything is so unbelievably wrong and stupid and doesn't know where he's gong with this steps into the ring himself

Short Version: I'm in the ring now

the Amanda

07-15-2005, 11:14 AM

I think Saelphronarf's computer won first... so it will be taken down by the Wwwyzzerddd from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who manifests malicious, uncontrollable popups!

Gatomon41

07-16-2005, 10:55 AM

Wwwyzzerddd meets Radical Ed from Cowboy Bebop. She steals his life, credit cards, and his pop-ups using her mad hacker skills. Then she emails Wwwyzzerddd some Vorgon Poetry to finish him off.

Matt A

07-16-2005, 06:51 PM

Radical Ed is defeated when her Vogon poetry gets analysed to destruction by an over-zealous English student.

-Matt A-

HumanoidTyphoon

07-16-2005, 07:43 PM

The over-zealous English student is then defeated by a rogue steam roller.

TrogdorNyimbhat

07-16-2005, 08:07 PM

The rogue steam roller is defeated by the Railroad Man with shape shifting abilities.

Style

07-16-2005, 10:47 PM

The Railroad man gets struck by lightning by a nearby storm cloud.

Saelphronarf

07-16-2005, 10:55 PM

The storm cloud is wisked away by a following title-wave filled with rabbid squirls carrying dagger in their mouths

-Saelphronarf

Gatomon41

07-18-2005, 07:46 PM

Title-wave filled with rabbid squirls carrying dagger in their mouths are consumed by some very Hungry, Hungry Pokemon.

the Amanda

07-18-2005, 08:23 PM

Title-wave filled with rabbid squirls carrying dagger in their mouths are consumed by some very Hungry, Hungry Pokemon.

The Pokemon are all captured by a horde of sentient Pokeballs.

Style

07-18-2005, 09:31 PM

The Pokemon are all captured by a horde of sentient Pokeballs. The sentient Pokeballs are devoured by rabid Yu-gi-oh cards.

HumanoidTyphoon

07-18-2005, 11:58 PM

The rabid yu-gi-oh cards are laminated and therby suffocated....by Jesus.

guinaevere

07-19-2005, 12:58 AM

Darn you, Vash. I was all set to come in and throw John Carradine into the ring. But no one beats Jesus.

TrogdorNyimbhat

07-19-2005, 04:57 AM

Jesus is beat by Romans 2005 years ago.

Agent S7

07-19-2005, 09:48 AM

3 Romans ride a flaming chariot into space. When they crash-land, they find themselves on...A PLANET OF THE APES!
And, here's the part you'll never guess...it's actually Rome!
So the Sentient Monkeys win, lobotomizing the Romans and studying their disgusting organs and turning them into hamburgers for all enternityyyyyyyyyyy...........

Toss

07-19-2005, 03:13 PM

a bunch of chibis enter and are so sweet and cute that everyone becomes sick.

Timmay

07-19-2005, 03:36 PM

Michael Jackson enters the arena and molests all the Chibis.. causing chibis to suicide

the Amanda

07-19-2005, 03:48 PM

Michael Jackson is beaten to death by a horde of late-night talk show hosts.

TrogdorNyimbhat

07-20-2005, 06:03 AM

Late night talk show hosts exhaust that MJ gig so much that they get beaten by ratings.

Agent S7

07-21-2005, 08:44 AM

Some guy from Nantucket utterly destroys all ratings anywhere.

Gatomon41

07-22-2005, 01:53 PM

Some guy from Nantucket is defeated by Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop) using his Martial Arts.

Alex Toon

07-27-2005, 09:03 PM

Spike is equally matched by Akira!

Jave

07-27-2005, 09:51 PM

Akira was beaten in the ratings by... some talk show.

HumanoidTyphoon

07-30-2005, 01:43 PM

Some talk show was beaten mercilessly by Conan O'brien.

Raeofdarkness

07-30-2005, 03:00 PM

Conan O'brian is beaten mercylessly by a revived man from Nantucket.

Saelphronarf

07-31-2005, 02:39 PM

Revived man from Nantucket dies from a spec of dust caught in his ear causeing infection. His body callapsed and was not seen again untill 5,999,304,203 years of erotion uncover him and evil aliens revive and mutate him to serve my needs.

The mutant Nantucket Guy is sent back to past to fight for me. He waits for a challenge...

-Saelphronarf

Gatomon41

08-01-2005, 08:12 PM

mutant Nantucket Guy has a very bad day when he meets up with Captain Kirk. After accidently ripping Kirk's shirt, the Mutant goes insane from Kirk's long and chessy speech about love, democracy, and freedom. Then Kirk finsihes him using his fake Martial arts.

Agent S7

08-02-2005, 03:07 PM

Jean Luc Picard, being the better character, destroys Kirk with his freakin' awesome accent.

TrogdorNyimbhat

08-03-2005, 07:38 AM

Jean Luc Picard is beaten by Kiva for coming on to her.

guinaevere

08-16-2005, 12:03 AM

Kiva has to sit out a round as it's laundry day, and she has nothing to wear.

Mr. Pedro

08-16-2005, 12:26 AM

In a split 5-4 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court finds laundry to be unconstitutional.

Gatomon41

08-16-2005, 03:51 PM

go insane after watching an episode of Neon Genisis Evangelion.

the Amanda

08-16-2005, 04:07 PM

go insane after watching an episode of Neon Genisis Evangelion.
Eva is cancelled by Williams Street when it makes the heads of the fans on the AS boards explode.

Sharklady

08-17-2005, 01:11 AM

Williams Street turns out to be a coed a-cappella group at Connecticut College*, and loses a singing competition to Alvin and the Chipmunks.

* Not an invention, BTW. Here's the group:
http://wsm.conncoll.edu/

cuon

08-17-2005, 04:59 PM

As Alvin and the chipmunks leave the competition and try and cross the street, they are turned into roadkill by Optimus Prime in semi mode.

Carolina Red

08-17-2005, 10:41 PM

The No Left Turn Signs smother Mary, Queen of Scots, to death and make it into a multipart radio series on the BBC. BBC then explodes.

Gatomon41

08-18-2005, 01:02 PM

BCC explosion is defeated by Star Trek's Spock using LOGIC.

Sharklady

08-18-2005, 04:59 PM

Spock has to make an emergency trip back to Vulcan; Brent Spiner assumes his station on the bridge.

The Dork Knight

08-18-2005, 07:57 PM

Zaphod Beeblebrox beats up Brent Spiner with his second head.

TrogdorNyimbhat

08-18-2005, 08:58 PM

Zaphod Beeblebrox is driven to death from insanity by postmen who can't pronounce his name.

Jave

08-18-2005, 09:24 PM

Joel Dawson uses his latest ever invention-n-n-n-n-n-n... ... to destroy the postmen.

Joel Dawson wins 300 experience points!

Gatomon41

08-19-2005, 05:41 PM

Joel Dawson is confronted by a Mark XXX Bolo.

The immense size of the Tank scares Joel and runs away before the AI-controled tank could fire it's Hellbore cannon and hellrails at him.

Oh, in case you don't know what a Bolo is...

http://www.iislands.com/hermit/pictures/bolo/BOLO1_.JPG

Sharklady

08-20-2005, 12:30 AM

Joel complains to Superman, who obligingly smashes the Mark XXX Bolo into scrap metal.

Alex Toon

08-20-2005, 07:11 PM

Bizarro Superman coems out of nowhere and aims for Superman!

Malex

08-21-2005, 10:57 AM

Bizzaro Superman dies from a deadly cancer that he gets from touching Radioactive Man.

Jave

08-21-2005, 11:15 AM

Radioactive Man gets killed by a huge swarm of acid.

"Ze goggles! They do nothing!"

megachao24

08-21-2005, 12:20 PM

Kiva is beaten by a Dark Chao Walker... using Crazy Rush, Hell Bomber, and Dark Finsh all at once.

Gatomon41

08-22-2005, 08:32 PM

Acid is neutralized by Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) by using large amounts of base chemicals to lower the ph levels to 7.

guinaevere

08-22-2005, 10:35 PM

Mr Fantastic then trips and falls by an unruly crack in the pavement.

Sharklady

08-22-2005, 11:14 PM

The (second movie) Terminator sacrifices some of his metallic substance to fill in the crack.

Agent S7

08-23-2005, 07:28 PM

The (second movie) Terminator is replaced with a fully digital model of the same actor in the Terminator Episode V Special Widescreen DVD Edition: Judgment Day.

M.A.S.

08-24-2005, 05:59 AM

The (second movie) Terminator is replaced with a fully digital model of the same actor in the Terminator Episode V Special Widescreen DVD Edition: Judgment Day.The dvd is replaced by kirby reruns.:D