Entertainment Quote #71: "Great news, Batman! I just switched to Geico!"

[James Harvey]

Sick of seeing Batman Begins everywhere? Well, we're not done yet! I'm stepping in for Bird Boy this week to bring you the latest Funny Quote!


http://wf.toonzone.net/wfboards/batfq.jpg

Rules:
No foul language.
No obscene dirty jokes.
Short and sweet.

View the previous "Funny Quote" here (http://forums.toonzone.net/showthread.php?t=142869)!

[sun]

"Say boy, that light is hot, got a mint to cool things down?"

[The Penguin]

"I hope this doesn't make me a fully-deputized agent of the law. That's not really the kind of work I'm looking for right now."

[sdp]

"I see you dropped the nipples"

[stwasm]

"We're in trouble! USA Today and The Washington Post panned the movie."

[Enrique]

"That dark costume don't help much in front of a 50,000 watt light, eh, Bats?"

or

Gordon - "See, the bat symbol on the light isn't big enough. Just stand in front of the light so your horned cowl casts the shadow on the clouds. That way you'll see the signal better."

Batman - "But... if I'M casting the shadow, how am I... it doesn't make... I'm already..."

[TimTwoFace]

Batman: "Now Jim, I told you, I don't want ANY lights in this city. NONE. No one wants to see a city with lights. What the hell do you think this is, Las Vegas? Turn off the damned light - it's bad enough we need to deal with the sun every day. Lord almighty, turn it off - people want this to be dark, and damn it, we're gonna give 'em a dark movie."

Gordon: "..."

Batman: "What was that?"

Gordon: "Nothing...you nutcase."

[Spastic Minnow]

Bats: "Hey, You're Gary Oldman! Shouldn't you be playing a bad guy?"


-or-


Gordon: "Wanna see me blind an airline pilot?"

[TrogdorNyimbhat]

Hi mayor I'm... Hey, wait a minute, this city is made of cardboard! I knew I shouldn't have trusted you Oldman!

[TimTwoFace]

Batman: "So, I, uh...hear that you have a daughter..."

[sun]

Ok, are you ready, One potato, two potato, three potato four......Stu:)

[TimTwoFace]

Batman: "What have you done with Pat Hingle!??!?"

[audiecugi]

Gordon: Ahh Nuts! I was hoping this thing would call Superman!

[sun]

Batman: "What have you done with Pat Hingle!??!?"
"I made in into a dinasour, and gve hime some voice over lines in "Land Before Time."

[The Weed Of Cri]

Gordon: Go play with your boomerang somewhere else. You almost broke my searchlight!

[sdp]

Gordon:"well..I"M not getting it out of there."

[ToOn~g@l]

Batman: Wow that was one huge moth, carved a nice image of me though.

[Spongebrain2.0]

Gordon: "Hey...you don't fit the ad in the newspaper...you better be as good as the ad says..." (Sorry, that may have crossed the line in the Dirty, Obscene joke rule)


Batman: "Uh...well this is awkward.......uh...did you hear about that new movie with Jessica Alba.....its....uh, well its supposed to be pretty good.....

[Conekiller]

Gordon: you neck...it looks kinda..swollen.

[audiecugi]

Gordon; Uh...yeah...see I called you because...uhhh...well...you see my cat..is...well she's stuck in a tree and I was hopping you could get her out.

[TimTwoFace]

Gordon: "Hey, where's that boy of yours? My daughter is looking for people to come to her birthday party."

[Crow]

"Everyone?"

"EVERYONE!!!!!!!"

[Mike Spartz]

"Hi'ya stranger..."
"Hi'ya back."

******

"Hey where's Harvey?"

******

"So...how long have you been waiting to see the new Batman Begins movie?"

******

"I knew from the moment I met him that Batman and I would probably not go to the same bar...if you know what I mean!" ;) :p

[TimTwoFace]

Gordon: "My wife really hopes you're George Clooney under that mask of yours."

[NozeNuggets]

"Is that a cowl on your head or are you happy to see me?"

[candy17]

http://wf.toonzone.net/wfboards/batfq.jpg
!
"Batman! One of your pets flew into the spotlight again!"

[Outlander00]

Batman:
"I have to get you out of those clothes..."

Gordon:
"Excuse me?"

Batman:
"...and into a black dress."

[TimTwoFace]

Batman: "Turn the light off, Jim."

Gordon: "But why?"

Batman: "Just do it."

Gordon: "I don't understand..."

Batman: "My fans like it dark. They like everything dark. Thus, light is the bane of their existence."

Gordon: "But this symbol, it's one of your trademarks, I can't just shut it off..."

Batman: "DARKNESS, JIM. DARKNESS IS WHAT WE NEED! NO MORE OF THIS NEON CRAP! THEY'D BE MUCH HAPPIER JUST STARING AT A BLACK SCREEN FOR TWO HOURS!!!!"

Gordon: "You really think so?"

Batman: "I've read their message boards. 'Dark, dark, dark...' it's all they talk about. Just give 'em what they want."

Gordon: "You're nuts."

Batman: "You wanna get nuts? Come on...let's get nuts."

[TimTwoFace]

Gordon: "So I see there's a movie named after you out there."

Batman: "Yeah, I know. Ten, in fact. Some of them are animated, even."

Gordon: "Yeah...anyway, in this one, you were fighting some clown and actually killed the guy."

Batman: "He was trying to get away and he was tied to a gargoyle, actually."

Gordon: "And in the sequel you threw one of that penguin-dude's thugs down a manhole and blew him up."

Batman: "Yeah, I saw that one too."

Gordon: "I thought you told me you don't kill people. That's how you stay sane, how you keep at least some samblance of a moral code."

Batman: "I don't. Those were just horrible movies made with my name attached. They were really all about the villains."

Gordon: "That Tim Burton follow sure liked to twist your story around, didn't he?"

Batman: "Tell me about it. I was almost relieved to see him get replaced by Joel what's-his-name. Almost."

*GORDON AND BATMAN SHUDDER*

Gordon: "Watch what you say around these parts about those movies - some people are pretty touchy on the subject."

[Stu]

Batman: Now then sunshine, what's this I hear about a parking ticket?

[Patrick Bateman]

Gordon: "Double homicide, armed robbery, flare for the theatrics. Something you both have in common. Leaves a calling card."

Batman: "Oh my god, it's even got a watermark."

[TimTwoFace]

Gordon: "So you really did that to Flass, huh?"

Batman: "He had it coming. You know that."

Gordon: "Wow, that must be one strong grapple wire, to hold a big guy like that."

[PaQ]

Batman: "So where's the chips?"

Gordon: "Oh boy... this is gonna be awkward."

Batman: "What.... why?"

Gordon: "I thought you were supposed to bring the chips."

Batman: "Now where am I going to hold these chips? Not everything fits into this utility belt."

Gordon: "Well that wasn't what Scarecrow said.. :wink:"

Batman: "..."

Gordon: "Sue me, most of the cops here are too corrupt to joke about, and since you don't kill..."

Batman: "... You at least brought the TV right?"

Gordon: ".....TV?"

Batman: "I think this is going to be a long night."

[mookie75]

Batman: The city wants ME to pay for the replacement bulbs?! Those ungrateful.....I wonder if Metropolis needs a superhero.

Gordon: I hear they don't like it dark over there.

Batman: Oh.....well, could I at least beat up thugs in an excessively brutal fashion?

Gordon: *shakes his head*

Batman: Aww...well....how much are those bulbs anyway?

[Phantasm]

"Batman! One of your pets flew into the spotlight again!"
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!:anime:

[TimTwoFace]

Batman: "So we're like, the last two this embargo can't touch, huh?"

Gordon: "The what, now?"

Batman: "Nevermind, Jimbo. Nevermind..."

[KryptoKnight]

Batman: "You know Jim, there is such a thing as a fax machine....couldn't you just fax me a memo... I would probably get that sooner than looking up in the sky and seeing a light...and didn't I give you my cell phone number like 2 weeks ago. GOD! It's called Technology..."

[TimTwoFace]

Batman: "You know Jim, there is such a thing as a fax machine....couldn't you just fax me a memo... I would probably get that sooner than looking up in the sky and seeing a light...and didn't I give you my cell phone number like 2 weeks ago. GOD! It's called Technology..."
Gordon: "So that's what you meant when you said the 'Bat-signal was not a beeper.'"