Are you willing to admit mistakes?

[sun]

When I make a mistake, I fess up, and usually say I am sorry as soon as possible to let got of the whole thing..If possible, I cover the mistake with some sort of payback to make up...Is this odd? Do you do the same, or just let it go, and forget that it happen and hope the person or people that were affected will just forget? What is your take on this..Stu Are you willing to talk about it even?

[solarflere]

I am willing to admit my mistacke only if I am proven wrong, and not the he said she said, I mean hard cold facts. But yea, I don't think anybody likes to admit that they were wrong *including me*.

[Kuja's Light]

Of course I do. I'm not into the whole foolish male pride thing. However, guys are not always wrong when it coems to an argument with a girl or woman. I HATE when girls and women act like they're always right, and the guy is considered the big dummy.

[Jave]

If I'm proven wrong, then yes.

[Phantasm]

Sure I do. Its just stupid to blindingly believe that only I can be right and everyone else on the face of the earth is an ignorant idiot!:p

But all this when I'm wrong of course...I don't think I've ever apologized just for the sake of making up with somebody...

[ToOn~g@l]

Oh man I hate it when people don't admit to their mistakes, especially when they act too proud about it. I often admit to my mistakes because I feel guilty if I don't say anything. And for some reason I'm usually nervous when I do. Yeah I'm weird. :sad:

[Natey]

not really. sometimes but not alot. But i hate it when people do and act if they are the coolest person alive

~Nate~

[PRdude]

Of course I do. I'm not into the whole foolish male pride thing. However, guys are not always wrong when it coems to an argument with a girl or woman. I HATE when girls and women act like they're always right, and the guy is considered the big dummy.A-FUNKIN'-MEN*, my brother! ESPECIALLY when she plays the perspective card.


*I can say "a-funkin'-men", right? If not, just feel free to edit it, provided you do have that ability.

[purplehairedwonder]

I try to fess up when necessary (aka, I've been proven wrong). I often feel guilty when I don't, so I have to clear that up. While I don't like to admit when I'm wrong, I'll do it because it's the right thing to do.

[EightOh]

I've never made any mistakes.

[solarflere]

I've never made any mistakes. LOL, imposible, you are human too.;)

[EightOh]

OR AM I? :eek:

I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. lab in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January, 1992.

[Marinite]

If I'm wrong, then yes.

[Gyro]

I am willing to admit my mistacke only if I am proven wrongYou spelled "mistake" wrong. Cold hard fact. Admit it.

I never admit mistakes. Ever. I'll deny it up and down and twist the truth to make the person who caught the mistake look like a raving lunatic... It's weird because it works a lot more than you'd think. :/

purplehairedwonder, I love your avatar.

[Kury Wagner]

No, not really... I detest having to do stuff like that.

Though, I have this habit that really bothers me, where sometimes I need to fess up... curse my nice-girlness!!

[Ben]

Yes, if I'm wrong.

Which, of course, never happens.

[ZephyrSamba]

Sometimes I think I'm a little -too- willing to admit mistakes ... with people I don't really care about I guess I find it much easier to give them a facile, "Yes, you're right, I apologise," than to deal with an argument with them, so I'll "admit" to mistakes with them even when I don't honestly believe I'm wrong ... it's cowardly and non-confrontational, but I tend to rationalise it with a "Hey, what do I care what they think of me, just so long as they're out of my face?" =P

With people who -do- matter to me I'm a whole lot more likely to stand up for myself if I think I'm right ... actually I really -enjoy- arguing with people I like, in a weird way ... Although if I do ultimately realise I'm wrong I'm REALLY quick to apologise as I end up feeling just horribly guilty otherwise ... Ah, dear old guilt, what would we be without it?

[Anime Otaku]

I'll admit mistakes...then go "I know! I know! STOP NAGGING ABOUT IT!" if people keep bugging me about it. I just ignore most of my mistakes, so it bugs me if someone harps on them.

[Gatomon41]

I would, but I can't really accept that I'm human and make mistakes. It's not pride, but rather that I feel sad and regret everytime I look back on every mistake that I have done. Perhaps one of my greatest fears in life is making mistakes.

[sun]

You spelled "mistake" wrong. Cold hard fact. Admit it.

I never admit mistakes. Ever. I'll deny it up and down and twist the truth to make the person who caught the mistake look like a raving lunatic... It's weird because it works a lot more than you'd think. :/

purplehairedwonder, I love your avatar.This is an interesting position, since we are all human, we make mistakes, but, let suppose I don't know you too well, something happens, then you do your thing, then I assume, you are ok, that I made a mistake or got my facts wrong.It is me, not you...It is not weird at all, most people would react respecting you, and, I think you are right, it would work often than most people think...you have made a interesting point, although I don't necessarily agree with you. Stu

[Ben]

I think Gyro has just shown us all How to Be a Politician in One Easy Step.

[James]

I try to these days. My father was dreadful with assigning blame everywhere but himself, so I do my best to be a little more honest, but it's not a natural thing. I deep down feel complaints in a situation which point at everyone but me.. however I don't want to follow my father's mistakes.. so I try and make sure I do look objectively and accountable for my actions.

[solarflere]

You spelled "mistake" wrong. Cold hard fact. Admit it.

I never admit mistakes. Ever. I'll deny it up and down and twist the truth to make the person who caught the mistake look like a raving lunatic... It's weird because it works a lot more than you'd think. :/

purplehairedwonder, I love your avatar. I admit it, I made a typo. However, one word is not a sentence. It’s a cold hard fact as well. It’s your turn admit it. :p

[Kagetsu]

"Admit" is such an ugly word. :shrug:. My big problems are misunderstandings, but anyway, I acknowlege my mistakes and gladly accept guidance. Come at me with "bet you" or "you can tell me, I'll understand" then I'm a sphinx.

[sun]

I try to these days. My father was dreadful with assigning blame everywhere but himself, so I do my best to be a little more honest, but it's not a natural thing. I deep down feel complaints in a situation which point at everyone but me.. however I don't want to follow my father's mistakes.. so I try and make sure I do look objectively and accountable for my actions.
I really respect this a great deal..It is so hard to change, I've been thru a lot of changes, some good, some bad, but acceptance, understanding and making changes in behavior learned when young from a parent is very very hard..I know, and I really respect and admire SJJ for telling us this. Thanks for sharing....Stu

[guinaevere]

OR AM I? :eek:

I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. lab in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January, 1992. Yeah, and HAL worked so perfectly... =P


Yes, I admit my mistakes. I admit when I behave wrongly and when I state things incorrectly (owing usually, to my misunderstanding, being behind in facts or my horrible memory).

If I did otherwise, all I'd gain would be a reputation for ignorance and/or arrogance. And I wish to be known for neither of those qualities.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Quite often, people don't realize their mistakes and justify their actions with sometimes pretty good reasons, but often conveniently overlooking one thing that makes their actions "bad", so to speak.

There are usually two sides to each story but what makes someone "right or wrong" depends on the pros and cons of each side.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

Yeah, and HAL worked so perfectly... =P


.
Come on! You have to admit that HAL had a point about those human morons. :p

[sun]

I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. lab in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January, 1992

For those who do not know about HAL 9000 FROM URBANA................HE WAS THE COMPUTER IN THE FILM CLASSIC 2001 WHO KIND GOES CRAZY AND IF I RECALL, STARTS KILLING THE SPACE TRAVELERS....HAL MADE A MISTAKE OR TWO...STU.

[Leaping Larry Jojo]

HAL only made one mistake admittedly...not thoroughly killing Dave Bowman! Then Dave became some gigantic baby and started hanging around space as a "higher entity". I'm sure HAL would have done more than that! ;)

[90'sCartoonMan]

Sometimes I think I'm a little -too- willing to admit mistakes ... with people I don't really care about I guess I find it much easier to give them a facile, "Yes, you're right, I apologise," than to deal with an argument with them, so I'll "admit" to mistakes with them even when I don't honestly believe I'm wrong ... it's cowardly and non-confrontational, but I tend to rationalise it with a "Hey, what do I care what they think of me, just so long as they're out of my face?" =P
I know what you mean, Zephyr. I'm more the type to say things like "I think this might work" or "I'm not too sure about that", so that way if I'm wrong it's not like I was admitting to being all that positive about my position in the first place.

I would, but I can't really accept that I'm human and make mistakes. It's not pride, but rather that I feel sad and regret everytime I look back on every mistake that I have done. Perhaps one of my greatest fears in life is making mistakes
I do that too, and it's a bad habit of mine. It's something we should both try to overcome because if we live our lives in fear of doing something wrong, we'll miss out on a lot of things.

Mistakes are how we learn, so when you make one, just say "D'oh!" try to fix it, and move on.

[Kuja's Light]

Wow, I can be the very same. When I do something wrong or say something stupid, it can really upset me. with some mistakes, even if it's not as bad as I seem to mkae it, I just want to die.

I know I shouldn't think that way, but forquite awhile, I thought I was worthless.

[Kurtman]

Sometimes I admit mistakes calmly,other times I show remorse for my actions by freaking out like Rain Man. So yeah,that's basically what I do.

[HumanoidTyphoon]

I've no problem admitting my mistakes...I just dispose of those who point them out <.<


What I really hate is when people act all superior and keep pushing it in your face that you were wrong.

[guinaevere]

What I really hate is when people act all superior and keep pushing it in your face that you were wrong. That's only natural. I don't think anyone enjoys being belittled.

[sun]

Wow, I can be the very same. When I do something wrong or say something stupid, it can really upset me. with some mistakes, even if it's not as bad as I seem to mkae it, I just want to die.

I know I shouldn't think that way, but forquite awhile, I thought I was worthless.
The kind of mistakes we often make, those of us, who feel extra bad, usually are minor, we probably do not hurt people physically, or if we hurt them mentally, it can usually be remedied just by a simple apology, or making it up some how..

Oddly, the larger problem, is that we feel so bad about ourselves, that it hurts us, and that is a mistake...We should not hurt us, expecially if viewed from the outside, the mistake is minor...After all, that is why, for us who have a lived a little longer, remember a product called "white out" to white out our mistakes on paper, erasers on pencils, or for the younger people out there, there is always "backspace" on the computer to delete mistakes.
I know that I take myself much too seriously, and need to lighten up..Even if we cannot make ammends,(us sensitive people almost always try) ,usually the world goes on, we try our best..What else is there?

[Wolfie~Giri]

What I really hate is when people act all superior and keep pushing it in your face that you were wrong
Yes i know too many people like that. That's why why i always got second thoughts on who i should admit my mistake too:sweat: (that's another habit)

[Kuja's Light]

The kind of mistakes we often make, those of us, who feel extra bad, usually are minor, we probably do not hurt people physically, or if we hurt them mentally, it can usually be remedied just by a simple apology, or making it up some how..

Oddly, the larger problem, is that we feel so bad about ourselves, that it hurts us, and that is a mistake...We should not hurt us, expecially if viewed from the outside, the mistake is minor...After all, that is why, for us who have a lived a little longer, remember a product called "white out" to white out our mistakes on paper, erasers on pencils, or for the younger people out there, there is always "backspace" on the computer to delete mistakes.
I know that I take myself much too seriously, and need to lighten up..Even if we cannot make ammends,(us sensitive people almost always try) ,usually the world goes on, we try our best..What else is there?
I recently learned my friendships were stronger then I realized, and that I shouldn't blame myself for every little thing I say that's stupid or anything, or if they say somthing that could upset me. I must be strong, because if I'm not, it means a weak feeling in my friends.

I know I've been told to be wise for my age, being 20, but there are many things I have yet to experience, perhaps even admit, I will always be true however.

[sun]

Eric Zorn `Sorry' works, if we're brave enough to say it


Published June 14, 2005

`"Sorry" works.

Those words are not only the title of a pilot program soon to be signed into law in Illinois and the name of the organization that promoted it, but they're also just common sense.

Apologies are effective. They cauterize wounds. They smooth ruffled feathers. They help mend fences, turn corners, put out fires and head trouble off at the pass. Pick a metaphor.

Your parents and teachers extolled the virtues of saying "I'm sorry" when you messed up. And, if you were lucky, they forced you into saying it when all you really wanted to do was deny, lie or justify.

Senate Bill 475, the medical malpractice reform bill that has passed in the General Assembly and that Gov. Rod Blagojevich has said he will sign, facilitates the use of apologies in instances of alleged screw-ups by doctors.

It says, "Any expression of grief, apology or explanation provided by a health-care provider, including, but not limited to, a statement that the health care provider is `sorry' for [a medical] outcome ... shall not be admissible as evidence in any [legal] action" as long as that expression comes within 72 hours of that outcome.

Two Illinois hospitals will test the idea under the legislation, though the idea of these so-called apology-immunity laws is working in 19 states, according to Doug Wojcieszak, 34, a former House GOP staffer who directs the national Sorry Works! Coalition from an office in Downstate Glen Carbon, a suburb of St. Louis.

"Anger at doctors drives up the costs of malpractice cases," he said in an interview Monday. Physicians "are told never to say they're sorry, never to explain. So even when they have met the standard of care and a patient dies, they create the perception of a coverup."

Ever since the VA Medical Center in Lexington, Ky., instituted this sort of candor-based approach to doctor error in the late 1980s, health-care institutions that have tried it have seen costs go down, according to Wojcieszak.

The Associated Press reports that the University of Michigan Health System saw annual attorney fees drop from $3 million to $1 million and the number of malpractice legal actions drop 50 percent since the system went the "sorry" route in 2002. Wojcieszak refers to such results as an "honesty dividend."

He says his own story illustrates it.

In 1998, he said, his brother Jim went to an emergency room in Cincinnati at 2 a.m. with heart attack symptoms. "They sent him away with a pair of Tums," he said.

His condition worsened and he returned the next day. Tests found he'd suffered several heart attacks, Wojcieszak said, and two days later he died at age 39.

"The hospital slammed the door in our face after that," he said. "They just said he was sick, there was nothing they could do."

Rage fueling their grief and vice versa, the Wojcieszak family sued the hospital, he said.

An apology would not have made things all better, Wojcieszak admitted. "But if they'd have been upfront with us about what went wrong, said they were sorry, told us what they were doing to make sure it didn't happen again and made a fair compensation offer, they would have saved themselves a lot of money" compared with the settlement that concluded the litigation.

So if "sorry" works so well, why does it go against the grain of not just doctors, but most of the rest of us as well?

The answer may lie in human evolution, said bioethics professor John Banja of Emory University, whose work in this area is chronicled in his book "Medical Errors and Medical Narcissism" (Jones and Bartlett, 2005) .

"When you apologize, you essentially humble yourself before another," Banja said. "And it makes bio-evolutionary sense that the more sympathetic a creature feels toward others, the less it's able to survive itself. A species that doesn't have pride, that doesn't have as a defense mechanism confidence in its superiority, isn't well equipped to survive."

Such a sense--Banja rather neutrally calls it arrogance or narcissism--seems to be particularly important for those in high-stress, high-anxiety fields such as medicine.
"Sorry" works, in other words. But so, in its way, does "nuts to you."

But as we've known since childhood, "sorry" is still the way to go.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/media/thumbnails/columnist/2005-05/295619.gif

Eric Zorn
`Sorry' works, if we're brave enough to say it

We are not the only one discussing this idea, this was in the newspaper in Chicago with the largest ciruclation, over 700,000 Who knows how many people agree with Eric and a few of the rest of us..it is a pretty well written column. Thank you if you took the time to read it.....Stu