May 20, 2005: My Mom Passed Away

[Viper]

(Talks in low voice) Yes, everyone. At 7:00 P.M., Friday, May 20, 2005, my mom passed away.:crying:

This past February, she went into the hospital for a bone-marrow transplant, which was a success. Unfortunately, around Easter there seemed to have been a virus going around the hospital, she caught it and wound up with meningitis.:crying: The doctors did their best to keep her alive, but her immune system was too weak. She died in her sleep.:crying:

It seems like yesterday I was in her normal room holding her hand and talking to her. After the transplant, I DID speak to her on the phone, even though her voice was rough because her throat was so sore.:(

Finally, as I mentioned in an earlier thread, I got to see her one last time the day before. It was in ICU, and she looked horrible!:crying: At least, thankfully, she recognized me, even though she couldn't talk.:crying: (She was able to look at me.)

Well, all I can do now is just get on with life. This was all so sudden.

Oh, I'll always keep the Murder, She Wrote: Season 1 set that I bought for her for Mother's Day. She would've loved it.:crying:

One last thing, I'd like to thank each and every one of you here at TZ who were kind enough to keep my mom in prayer. Thanks, everyone.(sheds tear, literally):crying:

--Erik Zmajkovic a.k.a. Viper; Goodbye, Mom. I'll never forget you. Thanks for giving me one of your kidneys. I'll do my best to keep it healthy. Bye.:crying:

[Phantasm]

May God Bless your Mom.:crying:

No one should have to go through this. No one deserves to have their mother taken away from them. And I know that perhaps any attempt on my part to make you feel better is futile. But you know what it should be. Your mom deserves to be remembered,mourned and grieved over. Because she is irreplaceable in every sense of the word. Mourn her loss but most importantly thank God for blessing you with her love, no matter how long it lasted. Rejoice and relish the fact that you did have the good fortune of knowing the love a mother can provide.

There are some things in life that are inevitable.Her passing away was one of them.All we can do at this point is pray for her to rest peacefully.:(

*Sigh*, Be strong Viper.My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[Conekiller]

I'm really sorry to hear that. My condolences. :crying:

[Sailor Chibi Otaku]

:(

That totally sucks. :( I have sent you a sympathy card through my thoughts. We will all understand why you'll be absent on here if you do decide to leave for a time.

[sKorpia]

While the physical loss is great, she's out of pain and she's always with you. Remember the joy and give yourself time. Love never ends, yours for her or hers for you.

[Juu-kuchi]

Erg... I hate it when this happens.
I'm sorry.

[Cogliostro]

I'm sorry to hear that, I read your other thread the other day and had hoped she was doing better. (I'm not sure is she had a lot of pain but I would guess she did with the bone marrow transplant) Well atleast her pain is gone and in time your pain of missing her will go as well.

[Kagetsu]

:crying:I'm so sorry for your lose. I want to say so much more, but can't

[Natey]

from looking at your birthday your mom died young:crying: . my heart goes out to you. may you and your family always remember how great your mom was and the good times you had together. now its time to move on but always remember her. May God be with your mom

sincerely
nate

[Emmanuel Cruz]

My deepest sympathies and condolences to you. I'm sorry for your loss.

-Emmanuel:bosko:

[Slade_Wilson]

I'm sorry for what happened and I hope everything works out for you....but I think the next step in this chapter for you, after you grieve and put her to rest, is to sue the hospital for malpractice. from what you've relayed to us, it seems that her condition was aggravated due to the foolishness of the hospital. By no means do I mean to sound insensitive or anything, but I don think that it is something you should consider. no one has the right to lose the one they love because of mistakes that should have been avoided. suing them may not bring her back, but retribution must be acknowledged.

[Narfpinky]

My condolences to you and your family.

[Kinel Ozoa]

I can't immagine the position your in. My prayers and deepest condolences are with you. I do hope these words and the words of the other posters make you feel atleast a small bit better.

I notice I'm finding it hard to find something to say, I can't immagine how hard it was for you to post this. I admire your strength.

[Conan-san]

There are no words...

[CyberCartoon]

I'm so sorry about your mom passed away Viper.

[I.R Joey]

Sorry to hear that man, hope you and your loved ones will be okay.

[Sailor V]

Oh Viper I'm sorry that your mother passed away. At least you still got your grandmother. Mine died of a heartattack in March 15, 1994 at the age of 67. I was 2 1/2 years old when she died.:crying:

[Kuja's Light]

I never really posted in the threads you made about her getting sicknesses and all, but I sent thoughts hoping she'd pull through. Unfortunately, I could sense she would pass on, but remember...

Now she's free of pain and struggle, it's ok to grieve but remeber the good times, and if you truly care about someone..they'll always be in your heart, no matter what.

[ToOn~g@l]

Man that is terrible.:( I'm so sorry about your mom Viper, all I can say is stay strong and remember the good times you had with her. Loosing your mom is probably one of the worst things ever. :(

[UberMonkey]

I'm really sorry to hear that - you and your family have my deepest sympathies.

Earlier in the year I lost my Grandfather, who after some drama with my dad, was really the closest I had to a true father-figure. I can understand the kind of feelings you're going through right now. Even when expected, the loss of a loved one is always a very sudden and sobering experience.

It sounds like you're already being strong through this. The best thing we can do is keep our memories of them close to our hearts, and go on living our lives - it's good to grieve, but they would want us to go on with out lives as well and make them proud.

[Jave]

I'm really sorry, Viper. My condolences to you and your family.

[Wounded_Dragon]

Condolences on your loss.

[Matt-a-Tastic]

Sorry from here to.

But at least you lost her at 35, my friend lost her dad at 10 and it totally really destoryed her.

But still though, I hope you get over it soon.

[ZephyrSamba]

I'm sure there's never an age at which losing a close parent becomes any easier. My deepest sympathies.

[True Noir]

...but I offer more of my sympathies to you.

[Gatomon41]

I am sorry for your lost.

[Fone Bone]

Even though Slade Wilson is right about the hospital being negligent I can totally understand that being the furthest thing from your mind right now. Be strong and know that we all support you. You have my deepest condolences.

[Zebi]

Erik, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's passing. :crying: You and your family will be in my prayers.

[SuperLuigiBros]

While the physical loss is great, she's out of pain and she's always with you. Remember the joy and give yourself time. Love never ends, yours for her or hers for you.
It must kill to hear this, but I have to agree with sKorpia. I've never lost a parent, or even anyone close-knit to me before, so I can't say for sure, but I'm sure you must be feeling empty right now. But it is true that she still lives on in you, not to mention that she is through suffering. I'm sorry if I have sounded a bit rude, as it did not mean to come out that way. I truely meant to show sympathy.

[Eibhlin]

My deepest sympathies for your loss, Viper.

Always remember that she loved you and you got to spend some time with her before she passed away.

[MahouShoujo13]

I'm really sorry for what happened, Viper. I...kind of went through the same thing. :sad:

My condolences go out to you and your family.

[Mittenz]

I am deeply sorry to hear that. This is very sad.

:(:(:(:(

[guinaevere]

Erik, I'm so sorry to hear this. The loss of a parent is just... there aren't words to describe it. When my Dad suffered his heart attack and passed away, I felt... the saying is that you go around in a stupor. And I did. My whole family did.

I think it's to do with, well let me try it the other way around. Death is part of the cycle of life. We know this from an abstract sense. We understand there is a beginning of physical life, the life itself and then death. But when we're faced with the reality of it. The consequences of it. Realizing that you won't see Mom in the house, or driving the car, or at the places you're used to seeing her. It's an overpowering and completely inexplicable feeling. Because human life is the biggest, most important thing we see and touch and feel and interact with on this planet.


Finally, as I mentioned in an earlier thread, I got to see her one last time the day before. It was in ICU, and she looked horrible!:crying: At least, thankfully, she recognized me, even though she couldn't talk.:crying: (She was able to look at me.) I'm glad you got to do that, Sugar.


Well, all I can do now is just get on with life. This was all so sudden. It was sudden. But don't feel pressured to hit the ground running if you feel pressure from friends or family or even complete strangers. Grieving is important. And you can only get on with life through a healthy grieving period.


Oh, I'll always keep the Murder, She Wrote: Season 1 set that I bought for her for Mother's Day. She would've loved it.:crying: Oh Erik, she would have. :hugs: I know exactly how you feel. When Dad was in the hospital that night, and I saw him on the bed, while a thousand other thoughts fought for place in my mind, I was determined to bring the Louis Lamour book he was reading to the hospital the next day and read it to him.

The everyday things in our loved ones lives' become so important. I really feel that's how it should be. Unfortunately, its the drastic events such as illness and death that clears our focus.

Viper, there was a reason for Moms passing, and only God knows what that is. And while that may not help ease your spirit or bring you peace, I pray it is of some condolence.

We're all here for you, Sugar.

[EightOh]

I truly haven't the words. I'm so sorry. :(

[BonyT]

Oh, Erik, I am so sorry for your loss. Memories of my dad's passing are coming back to me right now, and my heart just goes out to you, as do (and WILL) my prayers. I hope you can just lean on the Lord's strong arms right now, because you'll find that He will hold onto you, even in the toughest times.

I know that it's not easy to see right now, but in time to come you'll be glad that you had that last time that you did with your mom. It touched me when you mentioned the Murder, She Wrote DVD set that you got for her, because my mom is also a fan of that show. I'm sure it meant more to her than words can express to be able to see you that last time.

If you want to talk to someone who's been through the loss of a parent, PLEASE PM me -- anytime.

[Zach]

I am very sorry you lost your mom... :crying: :crying: :crying: My prayers are with you and your family. :sad: :(

[Fresh V]

I am really sorry you lost your mom. She's always with you. Don't forget that.

[One Radical Dude]

That's an unfortunate, tragic event. Sorry to hear about that, Viper. Your mother will always be with you. She sounded like a wonderful woman. That's all I have to say.

[Beguiled]

I am so sorry.. :crying: I can't even imagine how horrible it must be to lose a parent. Even thinking about losing my mom or dad makes me want to cry. I'm sure your family will be in all of our prayers, may your mother rest in peace. :(

[Viper]

Thank you, everyone.

I am starting to feel a little better. Today in church, I mentioned this to my pastor and he announced it to the rest of the congregation. They all sent their condolences to me. What made me feel better was that 2 people let me know what it's like to lose a family member. One person lost his mom a year ago and another lost his grandmother and his sister. So, at least, I know that I'm definately not alone in my moment of grief.:)

My mom's funeral will be this Wednesday. So, once that's taken care of, I can start to move forward and get on with my life.:)

I, of course, know that even though she's no longer with me physically, she'll always be with me in spirit. My happiest moment was the kidney that she gave me. THAT I will never forget.:)

Once again, thanks for all your support and condolences, everyone!:) Especially, you Guinavere.:anime: Your's were the sweetest!

It'll be a bit difficult, but like I said, I'm starting to feel better.

One last thing to Sailor V, uh...both of my grandmothers died back in January, 1994 & in June, 1999. It's ok, just to let you know. I still have my dad & stepdad.

[sun]

I am sorry for your loss and your sorrow. We are all with you to help you thru this awful time. We feel with you Stu

[Kurtman]

Gee,i'm very sorry that she died. :( Not much else I can really say.

[Weatherman]

Awwww, damn. You have my condolences. I'll be sure to inculde you and your family in my paryer's this week. *hugs*

Sounds like she was a heck of a person and that she lived a good, long life.

[Kryptonian]

Man, it's just not fair. Why can't anything be done about things like this? Why must we lose people so important to us?

Life just isn't fair... I hope that somehow you'll be able to pull through this and I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm sure if anyone could do something to bring her back, it'd be in a heartbeat. I am really really truly sorry. This just isn't fair.

[Rune]

Typing 'I'm sorry' seems horribly inadequate Viper but I am, desperately so and I wish things had worked out differently over the past months. Your mom lives on in you now and as you already know she loved you very, very much. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers...

As Stu said, please remember we're all here for you to help you through the times ahead in any way we can, never be afraid to ask if you need us.

Blessed be.

[Ms. Kitty]

Aw geez that really sucks your mom diedhttp://img221.echo.cx/img221/4489/ezpiworried3oo.gif but with the help of your friends you''ll be just fine. http://img136.echo.cx/img136/5822/comfort1uj.gif

[Queen of Hearts]

I'm so sorry Viper. My prayers got out to you. God bless you.

[Warrior Kitana]

Sorry, if I'm a little late. My condolences, as well, go out to you, your family, and who all were close to your mother. It's not easy losing a loved one, but with the help of family and friends, you can get through this difficult time. <y prayers go out to you and your family.

[90'sCartoonMan]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.


I, of course, know that even though she's no longer with me physically, she'll always be with me in spirit. My happiest moment was the kidney that she gave me. THAT I will never forget.:)
A kidney? In a way, she is still with you physically.

[Viper]

Once again, I truly thank each & every one of you for your support!:) The past 3 days have been rough!:(

Monday & Tuesday was the wake at the nearby funeral parlor where all of our relatives and every friend my mom knew of were there. I DID manage to meet a couple of childhood friends whom I haven't seen in 20 years.:)

Wednesday was the funeral service and the burial at the cemetery.:crying: Even though it rained "cats & dogs", nothing was gonna prevent me from laying a single yellow flower at my mom's casket.:(

I will say this: Tuesday night I had the courage to say that "if it hadn't been for my mom giving me her kidney, I might not be alive today." I also said that even though she's no longer with me physically, she's still with me spiritually. I feel the kidney sort of represents that.:) Even though, I'll still miss her.

Well, now that that's all over, I am starting to move forward with my life. I still have my volunteer work, my church congregation, video arcade, local mall, and the city of Manhattan to keep me occupied.:) Oh, also a close friend of my mom's still lives close by, just in case of any emergency.

I guess that's about it. Thanks for all your support, everyone. It kinda made me feel less lonely.:)