Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay

[Daikun]

These had me laughing for a good while.

http://www.di-links.com/link1524.html

[cross blues]

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."
what's wrong with this one? I like it.

[JetMaster5]

Some of them are actually funny. I still don't see how some of them are worst analogies.

[RD!]

These are all written with too much wit, like the opposite of a high schooler saying "Your Momma's so fat she sat down and said 'OOF!'", to be simply just "bad" analogies.

I call shenanigans, like someone looking for a random S word in the dictionary and coming across the word shenanigans and yelled it out.

[Wanted]

HI-larious!


Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.That one is just... the funniest thing I've read in a while. Who writes this stuff?