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Beguiled
04-26-2005, 10:01 PM
Well this isn't the best poem I've ever written, but it just sort of came to me so I thought I'd post it! Any ideas or tips would be greatly appreciated! I could use all the help I can get! :sweat: Hope you all enjoy!!!

~Beguiled.




She sat upon a hilltop green,

And watched the setting sun,

The stars and moon would soon be seen,

The nighttime winds sung.



The grasses swayed and voiceless called,

As twilight spirits danced,

And above the stars gazed enthralled,

As moonlight horses pranced.



The air was warm upon her skin,

As she danced upon the mist,

Her eyes defied the cold within,

Her silk wrapped feet like winter’s kiss.



She seemed to fly that night so fair,

Until the dawn did rise,

When golden rays touched night air,

She rose to greet the skies.



The clouds drifting over mountains old,

Were lined by the sun’s red fire,

Like oil lit it burned infinitely gold,

And reflected the dancer’s desire.



Where now she is none may know,

But where the moon may shine,

Where stars gleam and cool winds blow,

She dances for all of time.

Remy
07-09-2005, 01:58 PM
I like it the way it is, its really good.:) keep em comeing ^ ^

:gir: P.S. I don't like your signature... :crying:

Mary_mari
07-10-2005, 02:58 PM
Oh, wow. Beautifully conveyed~ This poem makes me love summer twilights even more* Also, the verses sway and differentiate warmly staying exact within the context. But, I love the fact that there's a sense of depth while it stays carefree. You did an amazing job pulling all of this together (especially considering it just came to you!)

Again, beautiful work. You have yet another envious onlooker! *nabs poem*

Reket
07-11-2005, 03:57 AM
Whoa, this just came to you!? You've got talent!!


Oh, wow. Beautifully conveyed~ This poem makes me love summer twilights even more*I agree with Mary_mari. I particularly liked this(for beautiful imagery and context):


The air was warm upon her skin,

As she danced upon the mist,

Her eyes defied the cold within,

Her silk wrapped feet like winter’s kiss.
I don't usually read very much poetry, so I can't say that I'm an expert or anything, but I like this. Very much.

Squisheee
07-20-2005, 01:03 AM
That was super Angel! I wish poetry came that easy to me! Actually I am in the middle of writing one right now! Maybe it'll be on here someday!

HumanoidTyphoon
07-21-2005, 12:07 AM
Very nice I can see her as she dances...forever.:sad:

Havok
07-27-2005, 02:18 AM
Beautiful poem. I hope to see more from you, you have talent.