Brainatra
04-01-2005, 02:08 PM
In honor of April Fools' Day (which I'm not a huge fan of, but...), here in no particular order's my "Top 10 Future DCAU Episodes" list... in full seriousness. Really. Seriously.
1. "Anti-Life's a B*tch, and Then You Die": Darkseid, having finally bought a new iMac(TM) and a copy of "Google For Dummies" (in clever and subtle bits of product tie-ins) discovers (while surfing the web for "Batman Returns" wallpaper---more product placement, folks!) that he can just do a Google search for that pesky Anti-Life Equation online. Wacky hijinks ensue. Guest-starring: the New Gods
2. "A Mxyzptlk By Any Other Name...": Mxy decides to change his name to "Kltpzyxm"... which doesn't work. (Episode's only two minutes long; rest of the time will be filled with that "Farmer Brown" B:TAS episode).
3. "You've Got the Cutest Little Baby-Doll Face": "Baby Doll" returns, this time recruiting Farmer Brown and (straight from the Batman comics) such stellar Bat-foes as the Calendar Man and the Signal-Man to aid her in seeking revenge. Guest-starring: the Clock King, Yet Another Fedora-Wearing Gangster, Harvey Bullock.
4. "The Return of Farmer Brown": Farmer Brown returns to harass Gotham City, with more mutant critters in tow... only this time, Brown's become "Extreme", with a "sleek, cool new look", and opts to team up with the Joker. Guest-starring: Ra's al Ghul.
5. "The Bat-Mite": In this pilot for the new "The Bat-Mite" series, Bat-Mite gets his own "updated" cartoon, consisting of a makeover that makes him look like a miniature Jackie Chan. In this episode: The Bat-Mite runs into "The Mxyzptlk" (who's also been updated---instead of that played-out old purple tux, he's dressed like a goth...).
6. "The Wonder Woman Years": Wonder Woman, in an attempt to bore Flash into leaving her alone, spends a half-hour telling him about her childhood on Paradise Island.
7. "Will the Real Clark Kent Please Stand Up?": Clark Kent accidentially breaks his glasses beyond repair, and while Lenscrafters takes *WAY* more than an hour to make a new pair, he's forced to resort to various hijinks to make sure Lois doesn't suspect his secret identity, including seeking the aid of Bruce Wayne. Guest-starring: Lobo, a Superman robot.
8. "Nubia: It's Not Just For Pre-Crisis Anymore": Wonder Woman reveals that she secretly has always had a twin sister named Nubia, who she never told any of her superheroic comrades about. Meanwhile, WW, in a shocking moment, also reveals that she had originally stolen Black Canary's costume before she stole her Wonder Woman one, but found it didn't fit so she put it back. Guest-starring: Queen Hippolyta... or "Hippolyte"... or however the heck it's spelled this week...
9. "Smells Like Super-Teen Spirit": In this "Smallville"/"Superboy"-homaging flashback, a teenage Clark Kent, while attending a rock concert with Lana at Smallville County Stadium, sees grunge rock group Nelvana's lead singer Kirk Trebain get struck by an odd glowing green rock and go on a superpowered rampage, forcing Clark to secretly use his powers to put a stop to him. Guest-starring: the teenage Bruce Wayne.
10. "So It's Come to This: A Batman Clip Show": An entire half-hour Batman adventure composed solely of clips of Batman throwing his batarangs/grappling hook, widening and narrowing his eyes in close-up shots, close-up shots of the Joker laughing maniacally, and Batman standing perfectly motionless and unanimated, with dialogue dubbed in. Guest-starring: Stock Footage of Alfred, Harvey Bullock and Harley Quinn.
1. "Anti-Life's a B*tch, and Then You Die": Darkseid, having finally bought a new iMac(TM) and a copy of "Google For Dummies" (in clever and subtle bits of product tie-ins) discovers (while surfing the web for "Batman Returns" wallpaper---more product placement, folks!) that he can just do a Google search for that pesky Anti-Life Equation online. Wacky hijinks ensue. Guest-starring: the New Gods
2. "A Mxyzptlk By Any Other Name...": Mxy decides to change his name to "Kltpzyxm"... which doesn't work. (Episode's only two minutes long; rest of the time will be filled with that "Farmer Brown" B:TAS episode).
3. "You've Got the Cutest Little Baby-Doll Face": "Baby Doll" returns, this time recruiting Farmer Brown and (straight from the Batman comics) such stellar Bat-foes as the Calendar Man and the Signal-Man to aid her in seeking revenge. Guest-starring: the Clock King, Yet Another Fedora-Wearing Gangster, Harvey Bullock.
4. "The Return of Farmer Brown": Farmer Brown returns to harass Gotham City, with more mutant critters in tow... only this time, Brown's become "Extreme", with a "sleek, cool new look", and opts to team up with the Joker. Guest-starring: Ra's al Ghul.
5. "The Bat-Mite": In this pilot for the new "The Bat-Mite" series, Bat-Mite gets his own "updated" cartoon, consisting of a makeover that makes him look like a miniature Jackie Chan. In this episode: The Bat-Mite runs into "The Mxyzptlk" (who's also been updated---instead of that played-out old purple tux, he's dressed like a goth...).
6. "The Wonder Woman Years": Wonder Woman, in an attempt to bore Flash into leaving her alone, spends a half-hour telling him about her childhood on Paradise Island.
7. "Will the Real Clark Kent Please Stand Up?": Clark Kent accidentially breaks his glasses beyond repair, and while Lenscrafters takes *WAY* more than an hour to make a new pair, he's forced to resort to various hijinks to make sure Lois doesn't suspect his secret identity, including seeking the aid of Bruce Wayne. Guest-starring: Lobo, a Superman robot.
8. "Nubia: It's Not Just For Pre-Crisis Anymore": Wonder Woman reveals that she secretly has always had a twin sister named Nubia, who she never told any of her superheroic comrades about. Meanwhile, WW, in a shocking moment, also reveals that she had originally stolen Black Canary's costume before she stole her Wonder Woman one, but found it didn't fit so she put it back. Guest-starring: Queen Hippolyta... or "Hippolyte"... or however the heck it's spelled this week...
9. "Smells Like Super-Teen Spirit": In this "Smallville"/"Superboy"-homaging flashback, a teenage Clark Kent, while attending a rock concert with Lana at Smallville County Stadium, sees grunge rock group Nelvana's lead singer Kirk Trebain get struck by an odd glowing green rock and go on a superpowered rampage, forcing Clark to secretly use his powers to put a stop to him. Guest-starring: the teenage Bruce Wayne.
10. "So It's Come to This: A Batman Clip Show": An entire half-hour Batman adventure composed solely of clips of Batman throwing his batarangs/grappling hook, widening and narrowing his eyes in close-up shots, close-up shots of the Joker laughing maniacally, and Batman standing perfectly motionless and unanimated, with dialogue dubbed in. Guest-starring: Stock Footage of Alfred, Harvey Bullock and Harley Quinn.