AnimatedSnow47
02-17-2005, 08:06 PM
Hello everyone! I thought I would finally post one of my many stories. Although this is not the first one, this is typically the one I presently use to introduce to new friends. Enjoy, and feel free to leave any comments--positive (hopefully!) or negative!!!
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“Illegally Blonde”
Episode 103 of Gopher’s Gateway Written by Sean Sporman – Rated G
Prologue
“Quick! We have to run faster!” Two forms darted through the darkness, and sneaked into an abandoned alley. “Eew!” The other cried, “I’m standing less than a meter from garbage!”
“Listen, Kate. It’s not like it can jump out and grab you.”
Kate sighed, brushing the dirt off of her dress. “I guess you are right, Niah.”
Princess Niah Flaxini smiled. “That’s forty-seven times I’ve proven you wrong.”
Princess Kate Flaxini laughed at her sister’s remark. Then, upon hearing the footsteps of her pursuers, returned to have a serious expression. “How close are we to escaping into Italy?”
Nestled between France and Italy, the country of Systenia had just been through a coup de tat—or forceful change of government. Both Kate and Niah were now victims of the new totalitarian government. “Just under a fourth of a kilometer!” Niah confirmed.
Peeking their heads out of the alley, the two saw freedom in the distance. “Why don’t we go to France?” Kate asked.
“France?” Niah shook her head, “We’d have to wait for approval. That could take weeks!”
“Fine! Fine!” Kate said, “You’ve talked me into it!” The two then ran as fast as their legs could take them, even as Imperial Guards spotted them and gave chase. The guards brandished their clubs in a menacing fashion.
Kate stumbled slightly, but regained her footing.
“You alright, Kate?”
“I’m fine.” Kate shook her head with both amusement and frustration, “It’s these new heels—a bit hard to run in!” At the word in, the two had made it across the border.
“We made it!” The two gave each other a high-five in celebration.
“Now,” Niah said, “We have to get to the American Embassy and find help.”
“You can go and find help.” Kate said, “I’m going to find me something to eat! Do you think there’s a Sparky’s around here?”
Chapter One
Thousands of kilometers from Systenia, over United States airspace, a dark spacecraft flew through the blue, cloudless skies of the planet known as Earth. Inside of the nearly-monochromatic craft sat two young women. However, the ones known as Amy and Rach were not on any pleasure cruise.
“Have you ever seen this city before?” Rach asked; looking in a mirror to make sure that her hair was fixed the way she wanted it.
“Hueytown Millennium?” Amy asked, propping her feet up just near a computer console, “I’ve read about it. Full of goody-two-shoes and such.”
“Yeah.” Scoffed Rach, putting the mirror down and looking forward through the craft’s WindScreen, “I’ve heard that Sonic the Hedgehog is visiting there today.” Slowly, the large city came into view. Other starships flew over large buildings in pristine conditions. “Now, where’s the person who hired us?” Rach asked.
“Just outside of the city. She apparently hates the leader of this city’s main school.” Amy stood up to catch her own glimpse of the utopia. “Did you know that sometimes weeks go by without crime down there?”
At the same time, both of them exclaimed, “Boring!”
The command center of School, as it was simply known, was quite dark and brooding, with a light layer of fog choking the atmosphere. The chairs were tilted at unusual angles. There were pictures that showed notorious villains and negative role models lining the walls. There were only two chairs, one of them labeled Galactic Master Empress. For June Gabert and Peyton Freeman made their lackeys stand, while they could sit in extreme comfort.
“Wait a minute!” June exclaimed, looking at no one in particular, “Wasn’t it described that way in the previous episode?”
“Shh!” Peyton exclaimed, “You’re breaking the reality of the story! Don’t clue the readers in—“ Peyton then hit her face with her own hand, “Now, I’ve done it too!”
One of her male subordinates said, “They here.”
June winced at her lackey’s incorrect grammar, and then asked, “Who?” For amusement, she threw a plastic stapler at him. The purple stapler hit him in the knee.
Peyton looked at the screen and provided her partner-in-crime with the information. “The mercenaries we hired.” Peyton sat back down in her own chair, “You should know that the Crime Time Slime Dime Rhyme has no record on either of them.” The CTSDR was the codename for a secret database the enemies of Hueytown Millennium and Hueytown Academy kept between themselves. Needless to say, many enemies tried to have the best record.
“They really need to change the name of that.” June rolled her eyes, “Now, let them in.”
Turning slowly in her Empress’s chair, June made eye contact with Amy and Rach as they entered the dark command center. “Ah! Come in!”
The two stepped in slowly.
“I would offer you a chair,” June said, “But, then I might be perceived as too nice.” Needless to say, June had being a villain down pat.
“So,” Amy asked instantly, “What is our job?”
June took a remote control in her hand, and pointed it at the control center’s main viewscreen. Nothing happened. Trying three more times, she finally slammed the remote control down on the floor. The back came flying off, revealing that the control had no power cell. “Alright! Its official: I’m jealous of the good guy’s voice-recognition tech. I’ll steal it one day, though!” Sighing, she got up to turn on the screen manually. Typing in a sequence of commands into the controls, the picture of June’s foe appeared.
“That,” June spoke with both distrust and passion, “is Sean Sporman.”
The picture showed Sean smiling, clad in his ubiquitous Starfleet uniform, after rescuing a baby from an errant stroller. The baby’s young mother was kissing Sean on the cheek, and whispering in his ear. “See, he’s even doing good deeds in his public archive pictures!”
“Tell us about this Sean.” Rach leaned forward.
“I’ll tell you this,” Amy said, “He’s not bad looking.”
“Regardless of the fact that he rates 9.3 or Hottie or Nottie.net, he must be stopped. He’s just too good for us villains to put up with. I mean, he won’t even let people litter for Pete’s sake!” June protested.
“That’s right!” Peyton added, “He’s forcing people to overcome their inherit laziness!”
“In simple terms,” June translated, “He’s making us get off our butts—and, yes, Sean, I said butt!” She shook her fist at Sean’s smiling photograph. Another photograph appeared, showing Sean with the popular actress Jennifer Love-Hewitt.
“He knows celebrities?” Amy asked after looking at the picture.
“Tons of them…even people from different time periods and planets. Most of them are female, naturally.” June shook her head, “And, they are all on his side because he’s so…” Her voice then took on a sarcastic tone, “…nice and sweet and cuddly-wuddly!” June then gagged, “Give me a yolseling break! Now, I want you to attack him, toss his allies aside, and bring Sean to me.”
“If,” Amy emphasized the first word that the spoke, “you give us our payment first.”
“It took a while,” June watched as two of her male henchmen brought in two cargo containers, “But, your tres unusuale request was fulfillable.” June took the PADD, or PortAble Display Device that had the inventory of the containers from her uneducated henchman, “That’s a piko-piko hammer, five type-one phasers, fifty randomly-selected candy bars, two gallons of Pokemon food—“ At that, Amy giggled. June continued, “—four stun grenades. As for the lightsaber, I couldn’t get it—so instead, I threw in one hundred combs and brushes.”
“Combs and brushes to substitute a lightsaber?” Rach asked, “Strange…but workable.”
“Yeah,” Amy smirked, “Rach likes to comb her hair every ten minutes.”
Rach lightly hit Amy in response.
“Now,” June pointed at Sean, this time shown smiling with his parents, “Go get that goody-two-shoes and crush him!”
The two nodded.
As they prepared to step out of the room, Rach put her head back in and asked, “Um, does this evil school of yours have a restroom? I kinda have to go.” Amy rolled her eyes.
Chapter Two
Air rushed by him as he swung at an increasingly faster rate.
“Come on, Sean! Let’s give this baby a try!”
Sean Sporman smiled as his friend, Emily Ham, cheered him on. He was currently on Swing Set 12, inside of Hueytown Academy’s massive HueyPlay playground. Above him, through the transparent dome, Sean saw only a light accumulation of cirrocumulus clouds as he swung ever higher.
Warning! The swing set’s built-in computer intoned, Safety limits will be exceeded at present velocity in ten seconds. Sean, ever the stickler for safety, couldn’t allow that to happen. Of course, what he was testing wasn’t exactly a seatbelt either.
“Time for release!” He heard Alabama Alliance of Education Superintendent Andy Blackerby exclaim, from the nearest sensor panel.
As he reached the highest point once more, Sean propelled himself into the air. Instantly, he extended his arms, and with them, his specially-designed jacket deployed.
Examining the readouts, Blackerby said through his Starfleet combadge, “So far, so good, Captain!”
In addition to being Captain in the Federation Starfleet, Sean Sporman was also the Student Principal of Hueytown Academy. As he flew through the air, he talked like a superhero, “The world craves justice, and needs a winner! Let us save—“ At that moment, something began to beep in distress.
“It must react negatively to your ego.” Sean’s best friend, Jordan Reeves, commented in jest.
“It looks like Anti-Gravity Units 3 and 4 have malfunctioned!” Blackerby exclaimed, “Can you compensate with 1 & 2?”
Already, Sean had begun to fall, and struggled to avoid other elements of the expansive playground. “Doesn’t help!” Sean exclaimed, smiling even as he narrowly avoided a curvy slide. He waved at the sophomore that slid down it. “Any tractor beams nearby?” A jungle gym then whooshed past him.
A tractor beam could suspend Sean in mid-air and lower him safely to the ground.
“Not near where you are!” Blackerby exclaimed, “You’ll just have to crash!”
Sean was just a few meters from the ground. Beneath him, he saw various people react to his flying. Two reporters, in particular, took the time to comment on the situation.
“What do you think of this, Clark?” The female reporter questioned.
“That’s a problem I can relate too.” The male reporter smiled, and then realizing his mistake said, “Well, I’ve fallen before, Lois.”
“Impact in twelve seconds.” Sean heard Blackerby said, obviously having calculated Sean’s impact trajectory. As he came ever closer to impact, he heard the remaining anti-gravity units struggle to keep him aloft. Then, looking down, he saw that someone was right in his path. He winced as the impact occurred.
Opening his eyes, the first thing he realized was that the impact was a lot softer than it should have been. He hadn’t been worried about that per say, because Starfleet medical technology could repair even the greatest fractures in a matter of minutes. Turning his head, he realized that he was in someone’s arms, and was being held.
“Well,” The girl who literally held Sean’s destiny in her hands said, “Hello there!”
Sean blushed profusely as he stood up next to the girl. The first thing he said was, “Great catch!”
The girl laughed. “Thanks! Is this the usual for this place?”
At that moment, Sean realized who she was. “You’re the new transfer, aren’t you? From the United Canadian Education Group?”
“That would be me.” She smiled, extending her hand in friendship, “Trix at your service.”
“Come with me, Trix.” Sean responded, dusting off his Starfleet uniform after removing the flight jacket, “I believe you are just in time for one of our daily briefings.”
“It’s not going to be boring, is it?” Trix inquired.
Sean shook his head. “I do not believe so.”
“This place is huge!” Trix exclaimed, as she walked with Sean down one of Hueytown Academy’s numerous corridors. “How many buildings did you say it had?”
“Two hundred and sixteen.” Sean responded.
“How did you get so much funding?” Trix asked, almost in awe of her surroundings. She noticed the mascot of Hueytown Academy was a unique one, the Golden Gopher.
“The Alabama Alliance of Education has billions of dollars these days. And, then, there’s the help from Starfleet.” Sean smiled broadly at the mention of his favorite space organization.
“What’s the lunchroom like?” Trix began firing off questions as fast as Sean could field them.
“The Hueytown Academy Super Cafeteria is two stories. It has big windows, branches from all the best restaurants—from Chick-Fil-A to Friendly’s to Applebee’s.”
“Does it have a Harvey’s?” Trix noticed that Sean seemed to have not heard of it, and then she laughed, “That’s a Canadian chain. Sorry.”
“No problem.” Sean smiled as they stepped into a turbolift.
“Exactly!” As Emily continued her story, the others in OPS were spellbound, “And, so, there he was—Snoop Dogg—the punk, escaped from jail again. I, of course, was ready for him. As I predicted, he made a dumb move and ended falling into one of the robotic sidewalk cleaners on Pikachu Parkway. So, he’s back in jail once more.”
Sean applauded. “That’s great to hear.”
Jordan pitched in with a bit of his own information. “Meanwhile, his mansion is being converted into a public recreation center. They’ll be holding a Skiball tourney there in two weeks!”
“I should join in!” Sean exclaimed, “That’s one of my favorite arcade games.”
“I’m pretty good at it myself.” Trix said, “Think you could take me on, Sean?”
“Nice rhyme.” The twenty-seven-year-old Blackerby whispered.
Sean was about to reply, but was interrupted by Andrea Dickinson, another good friend of his. She said, “Incoming distress call…from the US Embassy in Italy.”
“Italy?” Sean questioned, turning in his command chair. Unlike most high school offices, Hueytown Academy’s OPS was built more like the bridge of a Federation Starship, complete with numerous touchscreen computers, a massive viewscreen and four automatic doors that led to the school’s integrated turbolift system. Making sure his Starfleet combadge clearly visible, Sean ordered, “On screen.”
Instantly, Sean was taken aback at the sight of the two beautiful princesses.
“Here! Let me talk first!” One said.
“I can handle this.” The other responded, before both of them looked up and realized their transmission was getting through.
Sean was silent for a moment. Two smiling princesses were not something even a Starfleet officer saw every day. Trix poked Sean, who then spoke up, “This is Captain Sean Sporman of the Alabama Alliance of Education School Hueytown Academy. How can we be of assistance?”
“Hi! I’m Kate Flaxini, Primary Princess of the Kingdom of Systenia.” At first, she sounded if she were reading her title off a cue card, as if she had said it hundreds of time before, and then her voice returned to normal, “Everything has gone crazy! We’ve been kicked out of the country and we had to flee the guards—“ She then leaned forward, “Oh, you’re a handsome guy, aren’t you?”
Before Sean had a chance to react to Kate, the other princess stepped forward. “I’m Niah Flaxini, Secondary Princess of the Kingdom of Systenia. As of yesterday, our democratic government was deposed. Numerous natives, including ourselves, were forces out of the country because of what is called Directive 12. We formally request your assistance.” She then added, her voice taking on a sultry tone, “So, Sean, how long has it been since you kissed a girl?”
Sean’s eyes widened, before refocusing on the situation. “What is Directive 12?” Sean inquired.
“I could bore you with a half a page of legal mumbo-jumbo, but the gist of it is…all blondes have been declared illegal.”
Chapter Three
Before going to Systenia, Sean had to contact a certain allied agent who happened to be stationed there. Knowing her hair color, Sean hoped that she hadn’t been given the boot as well. “Computer, encrypt this frequency and open the channel.” A bright light flashed over his right eye before the computer said, Retinal scan complete. Identity confirmed. Opening subspace transmission.
“Lieutenant! How are you doing?”
“Captain Sporman.” The young woman responded, clad in her own Starfleet uniform, “I am doing well. And, how are you, my friend?”
“Fine and dandy like chocolate candy!”
The undercover agent smiled, replying, “I can always count on you for optimism.” She then nodded, “What can I do for you, sir?”
“Please,” Sean smiled modestly, “Call me Sean.”
“Then call me Avril.” She replied, “Lieutenant Lavigne is so formal. Just don’t let my fans know my pop star status is just a cover. They may not like that.”
Sean laughed. “That’s exactly what Agent Presley said. Then again, we have to keep his life status a secret too!” Lavigne also laughed knowingly. “Now, you know about the Systenia situation?”
“Why do you think I died my hair pink?” Lavigne responded, “Yes. And, it’s crazy. Apparently, the leader doesn’t have the support of the people. He’s just making people mad. I couldn’t tell you why the Imperial Leader made this crazy law. But, I think you’ll be safe since you are mainly light brown now.”
Sean smiled, having been distinctively blonde as a child. “Is there anything else I should know Avril?”
“For once,” Avril smiled, “Although anything but ordinary, this certainly not complicated. An evil guy is just being a butt. Go kick him for me.”
“Can do.” Sean responded, “And, as always thanks!”
“One more thing, Sean!” Lavigne added, “If you see Britney again, tell her I still have her hair dryer.”
As snow flurries fluttered down outside, Sean knew with certainly that they had come to the right place. The Holidaymakers Alliance Headquarters never failed to disappoint. “Tubular Turkey!” Sean exclaimed, “We meet at last!” Sean had heard about the official mascot and ‘hero’ of Thanksgiving, but had yet to actually meet him.
The talking turkey, already known for his persistent smile, was greeting them in the main DockBay at the North Pole. “They’re waiting for you in the Command Room.”
The others reacted as the exited the shuttlecraft. Jordan shrugged. Emily nodded politely. Andrea cocked her head in curiosity. Trix stood and stared, not even blinking for several seconds.
“Is she new?” Tubular asked.
Sean smiled knowingly as the Turkey gobbled in reply.
“Shouldn’t the universal translator have caught that?” Jordan’s question, however, received no reply.
As they walked down the corridor, Trix had to ask, “What exactly do you do?” The question was fielded at the turkey, of course.
“Although some people on that low-carb diet wanted me to dispense faux turkeys to the population, I’m the one that brings alternative food to the people that don’t eat that meat. Take Sean for instance, he follows the Chick-Fil-A motto.”
“Eat more chicken!” At the same time, Sean and the Turkey gave each other a high five/three, which was quite interesting considering the inherit difference in their limbs.
“And, trust me,” The Turkey finished, “Turkeys like us appreciate that kind of thing.”
Sean nodded with a smile as the group entered the main command center of the Holidaymakers Alliance. “Santa! East! How are you doing?”
The Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, the heroes of the Holidays, stood up in respect.
“Tell me,” Emily asked, “You did get my revised Christmas list?”
“That I did, Emily.” Santa Claus laughed with his distinctive belly laughed, “It’s in the database now.”
“Yeah.” The Easter Bunny chuckled, “After I had to egg him on about it twelve times.”
Everyone laughed at the pun as they took their seats. After introducing Trix to them, Andrea asked, “The Tooth Fairy couldn’t make it?”
“Mad dentist in Grand Rapids.” The Easter Bunny smiled, “The pillows will be full of dollars under them tonight; that’s for sure!”
“So,” Santa Claus asked, “You need me to fly you into Systenia because of my neutrality to the situation?” Obviously, no country would openly declare war on Santa Claus and The Easter Bunny.
“Are we neutral?”
The Easter Bunny stood up, as a virtual map appeared showing many countries. “The green countries have all signed the Polar Accords of 1922.” Almost every country was green, including the United States of America and Systenia.
“So,” Emily asked, “Super Sleigh Alpha this time?”
“Actually,” Santa smiled with pride, “The new model is in.”
Seeing the opportunity for a joke, the Easter Bunny added, “And, he doesn’t mean Heidi Klum either.”
In another docking bay, Sean really wished he could whistle upon laying eyes on the newly-commissioned Super Sleigh Delta. It was extremely sleek and futuristic, and yet, with the red and white trim as well as Christmas adornments kept it looking like a sleigh should.
A familiar voice commented, “With that thing, who needs my nose to guide at night?”
Everyone turned to see Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer standing in the bay. Trix spoke up, “How did you get that red nose anyway?”
“Can’t tell.” The reindeer cracked a smile, “Company secret.”
Trix grumbled something inaudible.
“Although the reindeer aren’t required, the Kanto Aeronautics Agency provided us with two new reindeer.” Santa Claus finished as he settled into his own specially-designed chair. He pointed through the extra-large WindScreen as two reindeer took their positions. “Meet the tenth and eleventh reindeer, Splitzer and Rusher.”
“Hi!” Splitzer said.
The way in which Rusher replied made sense considering his name. “Having more fun than any reindeer should be allowed to have!”
“Are you always going to say that, Rush?” Splitzer inquired.
The reindeer merely smiled as a tractor beam locked onto him.
Back inside Super Sleigh Delta, the others took their positions.
“Care to give the order, Captain Sporman?” Santa Claus asked.
Jordan began a countdown with three of his fingers as Sean looked straight ahead through the WindScreen at the large docking bay doors. As soon as Jordan’s third finger went down, Sean said, “Take her out. One-quarter impulse power.”
“Sean can never resist a Star Trek moment like that one.” Jordan explained to Trix.
“I see.” Trix shook her head slightly, and then watched as the craft—reindeer and all—sailed into the sky—its destination, Systenia.
Chapter Four
Kate nodded as she sat in the Imperial Chamber of Systenia. After hearing rumors of contact, the leader had wisely let the exiled princess back in for the purpose of negotiations. Obviously, he had no intentions of reversing his law or giving back the powers to the original government. Most likely, the negotiations were just a show put on for the benefit of the ever-watchful world.
“Look!” Kate said, “What is it? We’re you dumped by a blonde or something?”
“My sister makes a good point,” Niah added, shuffling in the uncomfortable chair that she had all-but-forced to sit in, “Why do you hate us?”
The Imperial Leader, instead of responding, simply sneered at them, and said, “What’s the difference between a blonde and a lightbulb? Only one makes me light up.”
Niah and Kate exchanged a glance at each other. They found the joke distasteful, and simply not funny. They decided not to respond to the joke.
It was then the cellular phone of the Imperial Leader rang. “Excuse me a second.”
Kate noticed he used no titles of respect.
Turning in his chair, the Imperial Leader nodded as the person on the other end spoke. “Exactly.” He whispered, “We must get rid of them quickly. Kate and Niah must be removed.” With that he turned in his chair, and had to force himself not to burst into devious laughter.
Amy nodded. “We should not be detected by their sensors.” Turning to her partner-in-crime, she added, “Hiding in their impulse wake was a great idea, Rach.”
“No problem.” She smiled deviously. Looking up, they saw Super Sleigh Delta right in front of them. “Are we sure that Sean Sporman is onboard that ship?”
Amy confirmed the question with another nod. “He and many others.”
“Then, what are you waiting for? We’re out of American air space!”
“That’s true!” Amy said, sitting down, “And, their shields are down because they don’t know we’re following them.”
“Well?” Rach prodded.
Amy looked at Rach with a devious smile of her own and then looked up once more. “Sorry, Seany.” Seeing that the phasers on her spacecraft were fully charged, she then gave the order to the computer with a booming voice, “Fire!”
To be continued…
Can our heroes escape the clutches of their newest foes, Amy and Rach? Will Kate and Niah be rescued? And, what of Systenia, now ruled by an evil dictator! Don’t miss the conclusion in, part two, the next exciting episode!
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“Illegally Blonde”
Episode 103 of Gopher’s Gateway Written by Sean Sporman – Rated G
Prologue
“Quick! We have to run faster!” Two forms darted through the darkness, and sneaked into an abandoned alley. “Eew!” The other cried, “I’m standing less than a meter from garbage!”
“Listen, Kate. It’s not like it can jump out and grab you.”
Kate sighed, brushing the dirt off of her dress. “I guess you are right, Niah.”
Princess Niah Flaxini smiled. “That’s forty-seven times I’ve proven you wrong.”
Princess Kate Flaxini laughed at her sister’s remark. Then, upon hearing the footsteps of her pursuers, returned to have a serious expression. “How close are we to escaping into Italy?”
Nestled between France and Italy, the country of Systenia had just been through a coup de tat—or forceful change of government. Both Kate and Niah were now victims of the new totalitarian government. “Just under a fourth of a kilometer!” Niah confirmed.
Peeking their heads out of the alley, the two saw freedom in the distance. “Why don’t we go to France?” Kate asked.
“France?” Niah shook her head, “We’d have to wait for approval. That could take weeks!”
“Fine! Fine!” Kate said, “You’ve talked me into it!” The two then ran as fast as their legs could take them, even as Imperial Guards spotted them and gave chase. The guards brandished their clubs in a menacing fashion.
Kate stumbled slightly, but regained her footing.
“You alright, Kate?”
“I’m fine.” Kate shook her head with both amusement and frustration, “It’s these new heels—a bit hard to run in!” At the word in, the two had made it across the border.
“We made it!” The two gave each other a high-five in celebration.
“Now,” Niah said, “We have to get to the American Embassy and find help.”
“You can go and find help.” Kate said, “I’m going to find me something to eat! Do you think there’s a Sparky’s around here?”
Chapter One
Thousands of kilometers from Systenia, over United States airspace, a dark spacecraft flew through the blue, cloudless skies of the planet known as Earth. Inside of the nearly-monochromatic craft sat two young women. However, the ones known as Amy and Rach were not on any pleasure cruise.
“Have you ever seen this city before?” Rach asked; looking in a mirror to make sure that her hair was fixed the way she wanted it.
“Hueytown Millennium?” Amy asked, propping her feet up just near a computer console, “I’ve read about it. Full of goody-two-shoes and such.”
“Yeah.” Scoffed Rach, putting the mirror down and looking forward through the craft’s WindScreen, “I’ve heard that Sonic the Hedgehog is visiting there today.” Slowly, the large city came into view. Other starships flew over large buildings in pristine conditions. “Now, where’s the person who hired us?” Rach asked.
“Just outside of the city. She apparently hates the leader of this city’s main school.” Amy stood up to catch her own glimpse of the utopia. “Did you know that sometimes weeks go by without crime down there?”
At the same time, both of them exclaimed, “Boring!”
The command center of School, as it was simply known, was quite dark and brooding, with a light layer of fog choking the atmosphere. The chairs were tilted at unusual angles. There were pictures that showed notorious villains and negative role models lining the walls. There were only two chairs, one of them labeled Galactic Master Empress. For June Gabert and Peyton Freeman made their lackeys stand, while they could sit in extreme comfort.
“Wait a minute!” June exclaimed, looking at no one in particular, “Wasn’t it described that way in the previous episode?”
“Shh!” Peyton exclaimed, “You’re breaking the reality of the story! Don’t clue the readers in—“ Peyton then hit her face with her own hand, “Now, I’ve done it too!”
One of her male subordinates said, “They here.”
June winced at her lackey’s incorrect grammar, and then asked, “Who?” For amusement, she threw a plastic stapler at him. The purple stapler hit him in the knee.
Peyton looked at the screen and provided her partner-in-crime with the information. “The mercenaries we hired.” Peyton sat back down in her own chair, “You should know that the Crime Time Slime Dime Rhyme has no record on either of them.” The CTSDR was the codename for a secret database the enemies of Hueytown Millennium and Hueytown Academy kept between themselves. Needless to say, many enemies tried to have the best record.
“They really need to change the name of that.” June rolled her eyes, “Now, let them in.”
Turning slowly in her Empress’s chair, June made eye contact with Amy and Rach as they entered the dark command center. “Ah! Come in!”
The two stepped in slowly.
“I would offer you a chair,” June said, “But, then I might be perceived as too nice.” Needless to say, June had being a villain down pat.
“So,” Amy asked instantly, “What is our job?”
June took a remote control in her hand, and pointed it at the control center’s main viewscreen. Nothing happened. Trying three more times, she finally slammed the remote control down on the floor. The back came flying off, revealing that the control had no power cell. “Alright! Its official: I’m jealous of the good guy’s voice-recognition tech. I’ll steal it one day, though!” Sighing, she got up to turn on the screen manually. Typing in a sequence of commands into the controls, the picture of June’s foe appeared.
“That,” June spoke with both distrust and passion, “is Sean Sporman.”
The picture showed Sean smiling, clad in his ubiquitous Starfleet uniform, after rescuing a baby from an errant stroller. The baby’s young mother was kissing Sean on the cheek, and whispering in his ear. “See, he’s even doing good deeds in his public archive pictures!”
“Tell us about this Sean.” Rach leaned forward.
“I’ll tell you this,” Amy said, “He’s not bad looking.”
“Regardless of the fact that he rates 9.3 or Hottie or Nottie.net, he must be stopped. He’s just too good for us villains to put up with. I mean, he won’t even let people litter for Pete’s sake!” June protested.
“That’s right!” Peyton added, “He’s forcing people to overcome their inherit laziness!”
“In simple terms,” June translated, “He’s making us get off our butts—and, yes, Sean, I said butt!” She shook her fist at Sean’s smiling photograph. Another photograph appeared, showing Sean with the popular actress Jennifer Love-Hewitt.
“He knows celebrities?” Amy asked after looking at the picture.
“Tons of them…even people from different time periods and planets. Most of them are female, naturally.” June shook her head, “And, they are all on his side because he’s so…” Her voice then took on a sarcastic tone, “…nice and sweet and cuddly-wuddly!” June then gagged, “Give me a yolseling break! Now, I want you to attack him, toss his allies aside, and bring Sean to me.”
“If,” Amy emphasized the first word that the spoke, “you give us our payment first.”
“It took a while,” June watched as two of her male henchmen brought in two cargo containers, “But, your tres unusuale request was fulfillable.” June took the PADD, or PortAble Display Device that had the inventory of the containers from her uneducated henchman, “That’s a piko-piko hammer, five type-one phasers, fifty randomly-selected candy bars, two gallons of Pokemon food—“ At that, Amy giggled. June continued, “—four stun grenades. As for the lightsaber, I couldn’t get it—so instead, I threw in one hundred combs and brushes.”
“Combs and brushes to substitute a lightsaber?” Rach asked, “Strange…but workable.”
“Yeah,” Amy smirked, “Rach likes to comb her hair every ten minutes.”
Rach lightly hit Amy in response.
“Now,” June pointed at Sean, this time shown smiling with his parents, “Go get that goody-two-shoes and crush him!”
The two nodded.
As they prepared to step out of the room, Rach put her head back in and asked, “Um, does this evil school of yours have a restroom? I kinda have to go.” Amy rolled her eyes.
Chapter Two
Air rushed by him as he swung at an increasingly faster rate.
“Come on, Sean! Let’s give this baby a try!”
Sean Sporman smiled as his friend, Emily Ham, cheered him on. He was currently on Swing Set 12, inside of Hueytown Academy’s massive HueyPlay playground. Above him, through the transparent dome, Sean saw only a light accumulation of cirrocumulus clouds as he swung ever higher.
Warning! The swing set’s built-in computer intoned, Safety limits will be exceeded at present velocity in ten seconds. Sean, ever the stickler for safety, couldn’t allow that to happen. Of course, what he was testing wasn’t exactly a seatbelt either.
“Time for release!” He heard Alabama Alliance of Education Superintendent Andy Blackerby exclaim, from the nearest sensor panel.
As he reached the highest point once more, Sean propelled himself into the air. Instantly, he extended his arms, and with them, his specially-designed jacket deployed.
Examining the readouts, Blackerby said through his Starfleet combadge, “So far, so good, Captain!”
In addition to being Captain in the Federation Starfleet, Sean Sporman was also the Student Principal of Hueytown Academy. As he flew through the air, he talked like a superhero, “The world craves justice, and needs a winner! Let us save—“ At that moment, something began to beep in distress.
“It must react negatively to your ego.” Sean’s best friend, Jordan Reeves, commented in jest.
“It looks like Anti-Gravity Units 3 and 4 have malfunctioned!” Blackerby exclaimed, “Can you compensate with 1 & 2?”
Already, Sean had begun to fall, and struggled to avoid other elements of the expansive playground. “Doesn’t help!” Sean exclaimed, smiling even as he narrowly avoided a curvy slide. He waved at the sophomore that slid down it. “Any tractor beams nearby?” A jungle gym then whooshed past him.
A tractor beam could suspend Sean in mid-air and lower him safely to the ground.
“Not near where you are!” Blackerby exclaimed, “You’ll just have to crash!”
Sean was just a few meters from the ground. Beneath him, he saw various people react to his flying. Two reporters, in particular, took the time to comment on the situation.
“What do you think of this, Clark?” The female reporter questioned.
“That’s a problem I can relate too.” The male reporter smiled, and then realizing his mistake said, “Well, I’ve fallen before, Lois.”
“Impact in twelve seconds.” Sean heard Blackerby said, obviously having calculated Sean’s impact trajectory. As he came ever closer to impact, he heard the remaining anti-gravity units struggle to keep him aloft. Then, looking down, he saw that someone was right in his path. He winced as the impact occurred.
Opening his eyes, the first thing he realized was that the impact was a lot softer than it should have been. He hadn’t been worried about that per say, because Starfleet medical technology could repair even the greatest fractures in a matter of minutes. Turning his head, he realized that he was in someone’s arms, and was being held.
“Well,” The girl who literally held Sean’s destiny in her hands said, “Hello there!”
Sean blushed profusely as he stood up next to the girl. The first thing he said was, “Great catch!”
The girl laughed. “Thanks! Is this the usual for this place?”
At that moment, Sean realized who she was. “You’re the new transfer, aren’t you? From the United Canadian Education Group?”
“That would be me.” She smiled, extending her hand in friendship, “Trix at your service.”
“Come with me, Trix.” Sean responded, dusting off his Starfleet uniform after removing the flight jacket, “I believe you are just in time for one of our daily briefings.”
“It’s not going to be boring, is it?” Trix inquired.
Sean shook his head. “I do not believe so.”
“This place is huge!” Trix exclaimed, as she walked with Sean down one of Hueytown Academy’s numerous corridors. “How many buildings did you say it had?”
“Two hundred and sixteen.” Sean responded.
“How did you get so much funding?” Trix asked, almost in awe of her surroundings. She noticed the mascot of Hueytown Academy was a unique one, the Golden Gopher.
“The Alabama Alliance of Education has billions of dollars these days. And, then, there’s the help from Starfleet.” Sean smiled broadly at the mention of his favorite space organization.
“What’s the lunchroom like?” Trix began firing off questions as fast as Sean could field them.
“The Hueytown Academy Super Cafeteria is two stories. It has big windows, branches from all the best restaurants—from Chick-Fil-A to Friendly’s to Applebee’s.”
“Does it have a Harvey’s?” Trix noticed that Sean seemed to have not heard of it, and then she laughed, “That’s a Canadian chain. Sorry.”
“No problem.” Sean smiled as they stepped into a turbolift.
“Exactly!” As Emily continued her story, the others in OPS were spellbound, “And, so, there he was—Snoop Dogg—the punk, escaped from jail again. I, of course, was ready for him. As I predicted, he made a dumb move and ended falling into one of the robotic sidewalk cleaners on Pikachu Parkway. So, he’s back in jail once more.”
Sean applauded. “That’s great to hear.”
Jordan pitched in with a bit of his own information. “Meanwhile, his mansion is being converted into a public recreation center. They’ll be holding a Skiball tourney there in two weeks!”
“I should join in!” Sean exclaimed, “That’s one of my favorite arcade games.”
“I’m pretty good at it myself.” Trix said, “Think you could take me on, Sean?”
“Nice rhyme.” The twenty-seven-year-old Blackerby whispered.
Sean was about to reply, but was interrupted by Andrea Dickinson, another good friend of his. She said, “Incoming distress call…from the US Embassy in Italy.”
“Italy?” Sean questioned, turning in his command chair. Unlike most high school offices, Hueytown Academy’s OPS was built more like the bridge of a Federation Starship, complete with numerous touchscreen computers, a massive viewscreen and four automatic doors that led to the school’s integrated turbolift system. Making sure his Starfleet combadge clearly visible, Sean ordered, “On screen.”
Instantly, Sean was taken aback at the sight of the two beautiful princesses.
“Here! Let me talk first!” One said.
“I can handle this.” The other responded, before both of them looked up and realized their transmission was getting through.
Sean was silent for a moment. Two smiling princesses were not something even a Starfleet officer saw every day. Trix poked Sean, who then spoke up, “This is Captain Sean Sporman of the Alabama Alliance of Education School Hueytown Academy. How can we be of assistance?”
“Hi! I’m Kate Flaxini, Primary Princess of the Kingdom of Systenia.” At first, she sounded if she were reading her title off a cue card, as if she had said it hundreds of time before, and then her voice returned to normal, “Everything has gone crazy! We’ve been kicked out of the country and we had to flee the guards—“ She then leaned forward, “Oh, you’re a handsome guy, aren’t you?”
Before Sean had a chance to react to Kate, the other princess stepped forward. “I’m Niah Flaxini, Secondary Princess of the Kingdom of Systenia. As of yesterday, our democratic government was deposed. Numerous natives, including ourselves, were forces out of the country because of what is called Directive 12. We formally request your assistance.” She then added, her voice taking on a sultry tone, “So, Sean, how long has it been since you kissed a girl?”
Sean’s eyes widened, before refocusing on the situation. “What is Directive 12?” Sean inquired.
“I could bore you with a half a page of legal mumbo-jumbo, but the gist of it is…all blondes have been declared illegal.”
Chapter Three
Before going to Systenia, Sean had to contact a certain allied agent who happened to be stationed there. Knowing her hair color, Sean hoped that she hadn’t been given the boot as well. “Computer, encrypt this frequency and open the channel.” A bright light flashed over his right eye before the computer said, Retinal scan complete. Identity confirmed. Opening subspace transmission.
“Lieutenant! How are you doing?”
“Captain Sporman.” The young woman responded, clad in her own Starfleet uniform, “I am doing well. And, how are you, my friend?”
“Fine and dandy like chocolate candy!”
The undercover agent smiled, replying, “I can always count on you for optimism.” She then nodded, “What can I do for you, sir?”
“Please,” Sean smiled modestly, “Call me Sean.”
“Then call me Avril.” She replied, “Lieutenant Lavigne is so formal. Just don’t let my fans know my pop star status is just a cover. They may not like that.”
Sean laughed. “That’s exactly what Agent Presley said. Then again, we have to keep his life status a secret too!” Lavigne also laughed knowingly. “Now, you know about the Systenia situation?”
“Why do you think I died my hair pink?” Lavigne responded, “Yes. And, it’s crazy. Apparently, the leader doesn’t have the support of the people. He’s just making people mad. I couldn’t tell you why the Imperial Leader made this crazy law. But, I think you’ll be safe since you are mainly light brown now.”
Sean smiled, having been distinctively blonde as a child. “Is there anything else I should know Avril?”
“For once,” Avril smiled, “Although anything but ordinary, this certainly not complicated. An evil guy is just being a butt. Go kick him for me.”
“Can do.” Sean responded, “And, as always thanks!”
“One more thing, Sean!” Lavigne added, “If you see Britney again, tell her I still have her hair dryer.”
As snow flurries fluttered down outside, Sean knew with certainly that they had come to the right place. The Holidaymakers Alliance Headquarters never failed to disappoint. “Tubular Turkey!” Sean exclaimed, “We meet at last!” Sean had heard about the official mascot and ‘hero’ of Thanksgiving, but had yet to actually meet him.
The talking turkey, already known for his persistent smile, was greeting them in the main DockBay at the North Pole. “They’re waiting for you in the Command Room.”
The others reacted as the exited the shuttlecraft. Jordan shrugged. Emily nodded politely. Andrea cocked her head in curiosity. Trix stood and stared, not even blinking for several seconds.
“Is she new?” Tubular asked.
Sean smiled knowingly as the Turkey gobbled in reply.
“Shouldn’t the universal translator have caught that?” Jordan’s question, however, received no reply.
As they walked down the corridor, Trix had to ask, “What exactly do you do?” The question was fielded at the turkey, of course.
“Although some people on that low-carb diet wanted me to dispense faux turkeys to the population, I’m the one that brings alternative food to the people that don’t eat that meat. Take Sean for instance, he follows the Chick-Fil-A motto.”
“Eat more chicken!” At the same time, Sean and the Turkey gave each other a high five/three, which was quite interesting considering the inherit difference in their limbs.
“And, trust me,” The Turkey finished, “Turkeys like us appreciate that kind of thing.”
Sean nodded with a smile as the group entered the main command center of the Holidaymakers Alliance. “Santa! East! How are you doing?”
The Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, the heroes of the Holidays, stood up in respect.
“Tell me,” Emily asked, “You did get my revised Christmas list?”
“That I did, Emily.” Santa Claus laughed with his distinctive belly laughed, “It’s in the database now.”
“Yeah.” The Easter Bunny chuckled, “After I had to egg him on about it twelve times.”
Everyone laughed at the pun as they took their seats. After introducing Trix to them, Andrea asked, “The Tooth Fairy couldn’t make it?”
“Mad dentist in Grand Rapids.” The Easter Bunny smiled, “The pillows will be full of dollars under them tonight; that’s for sure!”
“So,” Santa Claus asked, “You need me to fly you into Systenia because of my neutrality to the situation?” Obviously, no country would openly declare war on Santa Claus and The Easter Bunny.
“Are we neutral?”
The Easter Bunny stood up, as a virtual map appeared showing many countries. “The green countries have all signed the Polar Accords of 1922.” Almost every country was green, including the United States of America and Systenia.
“So,” Emily asked, “Super Sleigh Alpha this time?”
“Actually,” Santa smiled with pride, “The new model is in.”
Seeing the opportunity for a joke, the Easter Bunny added, “And, he doesn’t mean Heidi Klum either.”
In another docking bay, Sean really wished he could whistle upon laying eyes on the newly-commissioned Super Sleigh Delta. It was extremely sleek and futuristic, and yet, with the red and white trim as well as Christmas adornments kept it looking like a sleigh should.
A familiar voice commented, “With that thing, who needs my nose to guide at night?”
Everyone turned to see Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer standing in the bay. Trix spoke up, “How did you get that red nose anyway?”
“Can’t tell.” The reindeer cracked a smile, “Company secret.”
Trix grumbled something inaudible.
“Although the reindeer aren’t required, the Kanto Aeronautics Agency provided us with two new reindeer.” Santa Claus finished as he settled into his own specially-designed chair. He pointed through the extra-large WindScreen as two reindeer took their positions. “Meet the tenth and eleventh reindeer, Splitzer and Rusher.”
“Hi!” Splitzer said.
The way in which Rusher replied made sense considering his name. “Having more fun than any reindeer should be allowed to have!”
“Are you always going to say that, Rush?” Splitzer inquired.
The reindeer merely smiled as a tractor beam locked onto him.
Back inside Super Sleigh Delta, the others took their positions.
“Care to give the order, Captain Sporman?” Santa Claus asked.
Jordan began a countdown with three of his fingers as Sean looked straight ahead through the WindScreen at the large docking bay doors. As soon as Jordan’s third finger went down, Sean said, “Take her out. One-quarter impulse power.”
“Sean can never resist a Star Trek moment like that one.” Jordan explained to Trix.
“I see.” Trix shook her head slightly, and then watched as the craft—reindeer and all—sailed into the sky—its destination, Systenia.
Chapter Four
Kate nodded as she sat in the Imperial Chamber of Systenia. After hearing rumors of contact, the leader had wisely let the exiled princess back in for the purpose of negotiations. Obviously, he had no intentions of reversing his law or giving back the powers to the original government. Most likely, the negotiations were just a show put on for the benefit of the ever-watchful world.
“Look!” Kate said, “What is it? We’re you dumped by a blonde or something?”
“My sister makes a good point,” Niah added, shuffling in the uncomfortable chair that she had all-but-forced to sit in, “Why do you hate us?”
The Imperial Leader, instead of responding, simply sneered at them, and said, “What’s the difference between a blonde and a lightbulb? Only one makes me light up.”
Niah and Kate exchanged a glance at each other. They found the joke distasteful, and simply not funny. They decided not to respond to the joke.
It was then the cellular phone of the Imperial Leader rang. “Excuse me a second.”
Kate noticed he used no titles of respect.
Turning in his chair, the Imperial Leader nodded as the person on the other end spoke. “Exactly.” He whispered, “We must get rid of them quickly. Kate and Niah must be removed.” With that he turned in his chair, and had to force himself not to burst into devious laughter.
Amy nodded. “We should not be detected by their sensors.” Turning to her partner-in-crime, she added, “Hiding in their impulse wake was a great idea, Rach.”
“No problem.” She smiled deviously. Looking up, they saw Super Sleigh Delta right in front of them. “Are we sure that Sean Sporman is onboard that ship?”
Amy confirmed the question with another nod. “He and many others.”
“Then, what are you waiting for? We’re out of American air space!”
“That’s true!” Amy said, sitting down, “And, their shields are down because they don’t know we’re following them.”
“Well?” Rach prodded.
Amy looked at Rach with a devious smile of her own and then looked up once more. “Sorry, Seany.” Seeing that the phasers on her spacecraft were fully charged, she then gave the order to the computer with a booming voice, “Fire!”
To be continued…
Can our heroes escape the clutches of their newest foes, Amy and Rach? Will Kate and Niah be rescued? And, what of Systenia, now ruled by an evil dictator! Don’t miss the conclusion in, part two, the next exciting episode!